ms_kenesha
New Member
Don\'t Shoot Me Anyone...
Last night I was having thoughts of *gasp* relaxing my hair again!
And I can tell you that I was thinking this for all pure unalduterated vain reasons.
[*] Straight hair is the standard for black women, unless they've got a 3-1 hair type & in upsetting that standard...
[*] If I choose to find a new man, most black men are not feeling a natural haired woman unless A) her hair is a 3-1 hair type or B) her hair is really long and she keeps it in styles that mimic another hair type (twists, twist-outs, pressed, etc.)
So, then my brain tells me Kenesha you don't want any man that is not accepting of your natural hair. Then the lil devil on my shoulder is asking me, but how many men are/will be? Then my brain says Kenesha you'll be sublimating your beliefs and doing the one thing that you hate that other black women do, then the lil devil says "if you can't beat 'em...join 'em".
I just wanted everyone to know what I'm going through because I want to share ALL of my natural experience *the good and the bad*.
P.S. It's also not that I don't have men hitting on me with my natural hair, some do but the quality is poor. And I know that the quality could be poor even w/ relaxed hair, but it goes back to the OT board question does beauty=higher quality men and in a world where relaxed hair is considered beautiful and certain textures of natural hair, not so, it makes me wonder.
ETA: It didn't help that this weekend my mom kept asking me was I going to do anything to my hair other than twists and kept showing me pictures of myself with relaxed hair and asking are you EVER gonna wear your hair like this again?
Last night I was having thoughts of *gasp* relaxing my hair again!
[*] Straight hair is the standard for black women, unless they've got a 3-1 hair type & in upsetting that standard...
[*] If I choose to find a new man, most black men are not feeling a natural haired woman unless A) her hair is a 3-1 hair type or B) her hair is really long and she keeps it in styles that mimic another hair type (twists, twist-outs, pressed, etc.)
So, then my brain tells me Kenesha you don't want any man that is not accepting of your natural hair. Then the lil devil on my shoulder is asking me, but how many men are/will be? Then my brain says Kenesha you'll be sublimating your beliefs and doing the one thing that you hate that other black women do, then the lil devil says "if you can't beat 'em...join 'em".
I just wanted everyone to know what I'm going through because I want to share ALL of my natural experience *the good and the bad*.
P.S. It's also not that I don't have men hitting on me with my natural hair, some do but the quality is poor. And I know that the quality could be poor even w/ relaxed hair, but it goes back to the OT board question does beauty=higher quality men and in a world where relaxed hair is considered beautiful and certain textures of natural hair, not so, it makes me wonder.
ETA: It didn't help that this weekend my mom kept asking me was I going to do anything to my hair other than twists and kept showing me pictures of myself with relaxed hair and asking are you EVER gonna wear your hair like this again?