Girl, when you hit rock bottom, that's when you let go and let God. Sometimes God has to drop a pebble on our heads to make us look up. And this sounds like one of those times. We are like kids who break a toy then call out to Father and report what's happened. Father reaches to help us, and as soon as he starts, we snatch it back to fix it ourselves. So Father just lets you be, till you TRULY "Cast all your cares to Him" ie hand Him the broken toy and let Him put all the pieces back again unperturbed.
I will tell you a story of what happened to us (hubby and I) not too long ago. I wasn't working and we were broke. Actually we were more broke than we realized and I only found out how much worse things were when I went online to pay a debt. Overdraft charges had taken us so deep into a hole that I could never see us coming out, and the cause of the overdraft was a frozen account due to ignored bills. Needless to say, I was close to despair. I prayed and did what I thought I needed to do and what friends suggested--eg talking to the creditors that froze my account and working something out. And just when things started to look like they'd get better, the creditors didn't do their part. So my hubby's check sunk into an account we couldn't get money out of and the freeze was still on. Just as worry threatened to get the better of me,
Matthew 6:25-33 came to mind. It was late at night. Suddenly I thought: here I was fretting, while every sparrow was in a sweet slumber. What the heck was wrong with me when I have an Omnipotent Father? And just like that *snaps fingers*, I found peace and went to sleep.
And just like that, the next day, it was as if most of that nightmare had been a dream. The account was unfrozen and we got access to funds as the negative was removed.... Of course we still paid for our mistakes because not all the fees we suffered due to the freeze were returned. But I saw God move in ways I could not have foreseen. I'm telling you, I've had not a penny and wondered where food will come from, and then stayed calm as I've remembered Who has plans for my life and all for good...and I've been floored as hubby has called to say that the bosses at his job had a luncheon and so much of the food wasn't touched and would I like him to bring some home--just when I didn't know how long we'd last. The same God that fed the Israelites in the desert is the same God that is aware of what you're going through. Do not be afraid.
Said the robin to the sparrow,
“I should really like to know
Why these anxious human beings
Rush about and worry so.”
Said the sparrow to the robin,
“Friend I think that it must be
That they have no Heavenly Father
Such as cares for you and me.”
~~Unknown Author~~