kweenameena
Well-Known Member
I feel so good!!!!!! This morning I couldn't stop crying! But I wasn't sad...I was thrilled!!! I'll tell you why in the shortest way possible:
Okay, so I've dealt with infidelity and trust with my husband 2 years ago. I thought I had forgiven him but I couldn't bring myself to trust God and to not worry about my marriage anymore. I basically tried to fix things on my own and I tried to control him to make him the husband I wanted him to be.
And all the while I was mad at God for letting me struggle and hurt for that long. Well yesterday, I discovered something small about my husband but it brought up all of those old feelings. He's in Iraq..so I can't address anything with him. I was going crazy in my head!
"Not again, Lord" is what I cried out. I was sick of the Lord failing me! I was extremely angry with him. I remembered that someone told me that I should be specific in my prayers. So I prayed out loud (thru all of my tears, and rage and screaming) asking him for a yes or no, not a sign (to stay in my marriage). I demanded that he come talk to me like he has done with some of the ladies here. I wanted a for sure answer that I didn't have to figure out. I screamed out loud to him. I hated him!! I felt that I was at my lowest low. He broke me!
I read scriptures and testimonies online. I found a poem about waiting on the Lord. I realized that the only way for Him to get my attention was for me to gain from my pain!! And boy did it hurt like heck!!!! As I slept, I was still waiting to hear his voice. I challenged him! Well this morning I was still hurting and angry. I went back to sleep and woke up again with an epiphany. Trust him!!! Simple right? Not when you're used to trying to fix things yourself! I thought I was a christian. But I've NEVER really trusted him! Well, I had no choice because my way wasn't working. And it was hurting me more than anyone else! Once I made the decision to just give it up to him....I cried for like 2 hours!! I'm not an emotional person at all! I tried to stop crying but couldn't! It wasn't a cutesy cry, it was a BIG, UGLY cry! But it felt good! They were tears of joy! I felt so relieved! I prayed and left it with him. I felt him smiling on me. This was the first time in my life that I, a chronic worrier, didn't have a heavy heart. I still haven't spoken with my husband but I am confident that the Lord will have his way with him! I'm so excited and exhilirated in Him!! I fell in love with him and I can't stop smiling. I haven't been this happy since I was 10! I want to go and spread the good news! Well I'll stop here because if I don't....I'll go on forever. I really wish I could give all of the details. It was an AMAZING experience!! I just wanted to share!!
ETA: I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).
Okay, so I've dealt with infidelity and trust with my husband 2 years ago. I thought I had forgiven him but I couldn't bring myself to trust God and to not worry about my marriage anymore. I basically tried to fix things on my own and I tried to control him to make him the husband I wanted him to be.
And all the while I was mad at God for letting me struggle and hurt for that long. Well yesterday, I discovered something small about my husband but it brought up all of those old feelings. He's in Iraq..so I can't address anything with him. I was going crazy in my head! "Not again, Lord" is what I cried out. I was sick of the Lord failing me! I was extremely angry with him. I remembered that someone told me that I should be specific in my prayers. So I prayed out loud (thru all of my tears, and rage and screaming) asking him for a yes or no, not a sign (to stay in my marriage). I demanded that he come talk to me like he has done with some of the ladies here. I wanted a for sure answer that I didn't have to figure out. I screamed out loud to him. I hated him!! I felt that I was at my lowest low. He broke me! I read scriptures and testimonies online. I found a poem about waiting on the Lord. I realized that the only way for Him to get my attention was for me to gain from my pain!! And boy did it hurt like heck!!!! As I slept, I was still waiting to hear his voice. I challenged him! Well this morning I was still hurting and angry. I went back to sleep and woke up again with an epiphany. Trust him!!! Simple right? Not when you're used to trying to fix things yourself! I thought I was a christian. But I've NEVER really trusted him! Well, I had no choice because my way wasn't working. And it was hurting me more than anyone else! Once I made the decision to just give it up to him....I cried for like 2 hours!! I'm not an emotional person at all! I tried to stop crying but couldn't! It wasn't a cutesy cry, it was a BIG, UGLY cry! But it felt good!
They were tears of joy! I felt so relieved! I prayed and left it with him. I felt him smiling on me. This was the first time in my life that I, a chronic worrier, didn't have a heavy heart. I still haven't spoken with my husband but I am confident that the Lord will have his way with him! I'm so excited and exhilirated in Him!! I fell in love with him and I can't stop smiling. I haven't been this happy since I was 10! I want to go and spread the good news! Well I'll stop here because if I don't....I'll go on forever. I really wish I could give all of the details. It was an AMAZING experience!! I just wanted to share!!ETA: I sought the LORD, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).
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in the Lord. I'm sooo excited to see what he has in store for me! I can't wait! I love him!
Once you experienced God, did Satan ride you even more?
