i got upset today because im suffering crazy breakage. im realizing alot of unhealthy things, like breakage, are unacceptable, even though im so used to it i thought it was normal. i got a trim and finally i can run my hands through my hair to the ends. now im trying to figure out how to keep my ends intact. i bought distilled water today- hopefully that will help. i will use heat on my deep conditioners. its just frustrating because im already putting so much effort into doing the right things. its also sad because i realize how quickly the back of my mind will tell me- i just have bad hair. so many of us have been conditioned to think this way if our hair doesnt behave before exhausting all the options. Wish me luck- its growing like crazy and breaking fast.
Suffering Set-Backs
- Thread starter diamondlady
- Start date
Girl I feel your pain!!!!!
A year ago I was in the same position that you are. I would get so depressed that I couldn't even stand to come the board and hear about everyone elses success or see a sister with long pretty hair without missing my own (used to be) long locks. There is hope........my hair is now three inches from brastrap and thriving.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
be consistant with your routine , keep those ends moisturised, and keep your hands and your hairdressers scissors out of your hair. Don't jump on every new product recommendation that comes along, listen to your hair and give it what it needs. Before you know it you'll be encouraging someone else.
A year ago I was in the same position that you are. I would get so depressed that I couldn't even stand to come the board and hear about everyone elses success or see a sister with long pretty hair without missing my own (used to be) long locks. There is hope........my hair is now three inches from brastrap and thriving.
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!
be consistant with your routine , keep those ends moisturised, and keep your hands and your hairdressers scissors out of your hair. Don't jump on every new product recommendation that comes along, listen to your hair and give it what it needs. Before you know it you'll be encouraging someone else.
diamondlady
Active Member
OMG ginger,
Thanks, that was so encouraging. I'm getting over the hair cut blues. She cut it in some crazy layers, and each day I find some else she messed up. I'm just sick but why cry over spilled milk. I need to pick myself up and keep going.
Thanks, that was so encouraging. I'm getting over the hair cut blues. She cut it in some crazy layers, and each day I find some else she messed up. I'm just sick but why cry over spilled milk. I need to pick myself up and keep going.
I definitely feel your pain, Diamondlady. I have been struggling with this hair growing thing since Sep. '01 and I have not seen much difference in length at all. I'm so frustrated and like one of the other members said I don't even like coming to the board sometimes because I get depressed when I hear about the other girls and their success. I'm not hatin', I'm just confused because somebody will post pics of where they started with their hair to where their hair is now and in only a few months you notice major growth and that is so upsetting because I've been trying for a year and my hair is still no longer than it was then.
My setback was back in Aug. when I started going to this stylist because my hair started breaking and shedding and I didn't know why. She said it was because I was waiting so long to get a touchup (every 10-12 weeks) and that my hair was underprocessed. So I started going to her and instead of her washing my hair and treating it for several weeks to get it stronger before she relaxed it she insisted that I get it relaxed first before she did anything to it so that she could start with a fresh relaxer. That was the worse choice I could have ever made. Now my hair is shedding and breaking everyday and it's no wonder when she relaxed my hair when it was already not in the best condition. She didn't even rinse all the relaxer out of my hair because I could smell it when I got home and I ended up washing my hair the next day. I've decided to start relaxing my own hair again.
I hate that you ladies are having these hair dilemmas but its good to know that I'm not the only one going through this and that there's somewhere to go to talk about it. Hang in there, ladies.
My setback was back in Aug. when I started going to this stylist because my hair started breaking and shedding and I didn't know why. She said it was because I was waiting so long to get a touchup (every 10-12 weeks) and that my hair was underprocessed. So I started going to her and instead of her washing my hair and treating it for several weeks to get it stronger before she relaxed it she insisted that I get it relaxed first before she did anything to it so that she could start with a fresh relaxer. That was the worse choice I could have ever made. Now my hair is shedding and breaking everyday and it's no wonder when she relaxed my hair when it was already not in the best condition. She didn't even rinse all the relaxer out of my hair because I could smell it when I got home and I ended up washing my hair the next day. I've decided to start relaxing my own hair again.
I hate that you ladies are having these hair dilemmas but its good to know that I'm not the only one going through this and that there's somewhere to go to talk about it. Hang in there, ladies.
JenJen2721
New Member
[ QUOTE ]
leejure said:
well I had two.
In 2000, I Had joined a hair board (BHSGO) and had worn my hair in a bun most of the time (like now). But I was wearing the "incorrect bun". Anyway, a year later, my hair had grew to like 4 inches from bra-strap and I had to get it cut back up to shoulder length because I had severe breakage int eh middle of my hair.
Then in July, I got my hair even-out and had about 3 inches cut off.
-lee
[/ QUOTE ]
Lee, when you said you were wearing the incorrect bun, what type of bun was it?
leejure said:
well I had two.
In 2000, I Had joined a hair board (BHSGO) and had worn my hair in a bun most of the time (like now). But I was wearing the "incorrect bun". Anyway, a year later, my hair had grew to like 4 inches from bra-strap and I had to get it cut back up to shoulder length because I had severe breakage int eh middle of my hair.
Then in July, I got my hair even-out and had about 3 inches cut off.
-lee
[/ QUOTE ]
Lee, when you said you were wearing the incorrect bun, what type of bun was it?
Crystena77
New Member
I'm curious to know what an incorrect bun is as well, I want to make sure I'm doing my buns correctly.
skegeesmb
New Member
I have one but it wasn't recent. Last year in September my boyfriend (now husband) bought me an itty bitty curling iron so I could do curl the little hair that was growing back from the area that had been shaved off which was now about 2 inches long.
A couple of friends came to my apartment to hang out and eat. While everyone was in the livingroom, I had decided to try to touch up a section in the back of my hair. Well I didn't realize that the curling iron had gotten so hot, and I put the curling iron on a section.
Well I put the curling iron in, and smelled my hair burning. When I took out the curling iron the iron was so hot my hair in the curling iron MELTED onto the iron. I had 1 inch of hair burned on that thing. So I had to take some scissors and cut the rest of the burnt hair off. My friend made sure the area was even. I had let my hair grow out 2 inches in the back before I could cut the hair so that it was the same length as all my back hair. Thank goodness my hair could cover that area.
After that, that damn curling iron went in the trash. The only good thing about the situation was that I was natural then and when my hair was wet, it curled up and you couldn't tell the difference unless my hair was straight.
A couple of friends came to my apartment to hang out and eat. While everyone was in the livingroom, I had decided to try to touch up a section in the back of my hair. Well I didn't realize that the curling iron had gotten so hot, and I put the curling iron on a section.
Well I put the curling iron in, and smelled my hair burning. When I took out the curling iron the iron was so hot my hair in the curling iron MELTED onto the iron. I had 1 inch of hair burned on that thing. So I had to take some scissors and cut the rest of the burnt hair off. My friend made sure the area was even. I had let my hair grow out 2 inches in the back before I could cut the hair so that it was the same length as all my back hair. Thank goodness my hair could cover that area.
After that, that damn curling iron went in the trash. The only good thing about the situation was that I was natural then and when my hair was wet, it curled up and you couldn't tell the difference unless my hair was straight.
Hi DiamondLady!!! How are you?? I truly know what you mean by doing it yourself. You're so right! IF we're doing our own hair and we mess up, at least we didn't pay someone to mess us up!! I've always felt like that, especially when it comes to trimming. I can't tell you how many times I've just cried and cried at how much hair a stylist chopped off of me when it was supposed to be a trim!!! It really hurts and it's really hard to ever trust them again after that!!! But yes, lets post our successes as well as our setbacks! We'll all benefit from hearing both! Thanks for this great post! 
[ QUOTE ]
debyjay said:
My hair is getting longer so I guess it's growing, however it simply won't stop breaking, I had major shedding for years, then was turned on to a miracle in a bottle - Nutrine garlic shampoo, stopped the shedding almost immediately, now if only I can find another miracle in a bottle to stop all this breakage. Like UmSumayyah the hairs are 1/2 inch to 3 inches long.
[/ QUOTE ]
DITTO THAT!!
i vow to help ya'll if ya'll help me!
debyjay said:
My hair is getting longer so I guess it's growing, however it simply won't stop breaking, I had major shedding for years, then was turned on to a miracle in a bottle - Nutrine garlic shampoo, stopped the shedding almost immediately, now if only I can find another miracle in a bottle to stop all this breakage. Like UmSumayyah the hairs are 1/2 inch to 3 inches long.
[/ QUOTE ]
DITTO THAT!!
UmSumayyah
Well-Known Member
So what to do about the breakage? I tried Aphogee and still got some, although I think it may have slowed down a bit. I considered cutting my hair but I think that may be premature.
I'll tell you that I am considering going back to doing my own relaxers. After all I paid $85 to get my hair jacked when I could have done it for only 6.99. The half and half method where I parted ear to ear didn't work. If I try it again I may go half and half parting down the middle from front to back. If that doesn't work I'll have to shift to relaxing in quadrants every 3 days. I really would like to find someone competent but I'm really hesitant to trust anyone again with my hair.
I'll tell you that I am considering going back to doing my own relaxers. After all I paid $85 to get my hair jacked when I could have done it for only 6.99. The half and half method where I parted ear to ear didn't work. If I try it again I may go half and half parting down the middle from front to back. If that doesn't work I'll have to shift to relaxing in quadrants every 3 days. I really would like to find someone competent but I'm really hesitant to trust anyone again with my hair.
[ QUOTE ]
JenJen2721 said:
[ QUOTE ]
leejure said:
well I had two.
In 2000, I Had joined a hair board (BHSGO) and had worn my hair in a bun most of the time (like now). But I was wearing the "incorrect bun". Anyway, a year later, my hair had grew to like 4 inches from bra-strap and I had to get it cut back up to shoulder length because I had severe breakage int eh middle of my hair.
Then in July, I got my hair even-out and had about 3 inches cut off.
-lee
[/ QUOTE ]
Lee, when you said you were wearing the incorrect bun, what type of bun was it?
[/ QUOTE ]
JENJEN, look in my labum. I have a picture of the bun that *I* can't wear because it breaks *my* hair out all the time!
hth,
lee
JenJen2721 said:
[ QUOTE ]
leejure said:
well I had two.
In 2000, I Had joined a hair board (BHSGO) and had worn my hair in a bun most of the time (like now). But I was wearing the "incorrect bun". Anyway, a year later, my hair had grew to like 4 inches from bra-strap and I had to get it cut back up to shoulder length because I had severe breakage int eh middle of my hair.
Then in July, I got my hair even-out and had about 3 inches cut off.
-lee
[/ QUOTE ]
Lee, when you said you were wearing the incorrect bun, what type of bun was it?
[/ QUOTE ]
JENJEN, look in my labum. I have a picture of the bun that *I* can't wear because it breaks *my* hair out all the time!
hth,
lee
Miosy
New Member
I always get some setbacks at least once every two months or so. I get major tangles in the back every and have to resort to cutting it. Now, I am tackling the major winter dry ends and I noticed that my front right hair line area fell out from the relaxer. I didn't even notice until I started seeing fuzzy hair growing back
aqualung
New Member
[ QUOTE ]
Miosy said:
I get major tangles in the back every and have to resort to cutting it.
[/ QUOTE ]
Miosy, when I get tangles at the crown in the back, I load my wet hair up with Sta-Sof-Fro and Razac's serum and then blow/airdry it hanging down. I then stand in front of the mirror and detangle with my fingers. There's SHED hair in there creating the tangle, so your fingers will work better than the comb.
There'll probably be less breakage if you use your fingers to detangle the hair dry but lubricated by serum and Sta-Sof-Fro. Take your time. It's easier this way.
Miosy said:
I get major tangles in the back every and have to resort to cutting it.
[/ QUOTE ]
Miosy, when I get tangles at the crown in the back, I load my wet hair up with Sta-Sof-Fro and Razac's serum and then blow/airdry it hanging down. I then stand in front of the mirror and detangle with my fingers. There's SHED hair in there creating the tangle, so your fingers will work better than the comb.
There'll probably be less breakage if you use your fingers to detangle the hair dry but lubricated by serum and Sta-Sof-Fro. Take your time. It's easier this way.
I tried trimming my own layered hair last summer/fall and ended up with two levels in the back. Someone tried to help even it out, but ended up pointing the scissors at my layers. The result--jagged bilevel hair. I got a serious trim in January and another in June. Now I'm on the right track. But I'm sure I lost about 3 inches or so. Don't get discouraged, the thing about hair is it's always growing. Finding a good stylist that won't overcut is much harder.
aprilbiz
New Member
UmSumayyah and DiamondLady... keep doing the protein and moisture conditioning. I also realize that I have to use heat with the Aphogee for the best results...sitting under the dryer until it's dry... Sometimes I would just let it air dry. I was also not saturating my hair with it enough. It's best if you can gently comb through it to make sure it gets everywhere... Don't know if you all have tried that. Don't give up though. Just condition, condition, condition. When I've gotten bad shedding I've used a hair pommade that I made that had cocoa butter, castor oil, MSM powder from capsules, olive oil, safflower oil, and a little sulphur 8. I used it lightly on my scalp at night and on the ends and was very gentle with my hair. That coupled with the protein and moisturizing conditioners stoped the shedding. Now...if I would only follow my own advise all the time!
I've had a setback due to poor maintenance. My hair was about 5 inches from bra strap, but I had not been wrapping it up at night or caring for it much at all. I've had a bad problem with detangling lately and I would be too lazy to comb it out and I'd just sleep on it without it wrapped up on cotton pillow cases of all dreaded things! Well it became very matted at times and I would just wash it,leave conditioner in it, and pull it into a ponytail (without combing it out) and go through the same process day after day.
Needless to say a few months of this caused a section of the back of my hair to break off to shoulder length...not cute. I didn't mention that I had not been doing any protein treatments...
I recently cut my back hair to shoulder length and did an asymetric type of bob thing with the sides being long in the front... I am determined to change my lazy and pathetic ways!
I've had a setback due to poor maintenance. My hair was about 5 inches from bra strap, but I had not been wrapping it up at night or caring for it much at all. I've had a bad problem with detangling lately and I would be too lazy to comb it out and I'd just sleep on it without it wrapped up on cotton pillow cases of all dreaded things! Well it became very matted at times and I would just wash it,leave conditioner in it, and pull it into a ponytail (without combing it out) and go through the same process day after day.
Needless to say a few months of this caused a section of the back of my hair to break off to shoulder length...not cute. I didn't mention that I had not been doing any protein treatments...
sassygirl125
Professional PJ
My setback was getting a distasterous touch-up (breakage at the crown) and having to start all over in mid-2002.
I never did a "big chop". So now I have very uneven hair. Once the shorter part is a length I feel comfortable with I'll have it all evened out. But because my hair doesn't grow fast, it's taking soooooo long.
But it's growing. And I seem to be keeping it all, bless God.
But it's growing. And I seem to be keeping it all, bless God.
Lucia
Well-Known Member
Diamondlady sorry that your having to go through this, but you can get passed it.
One of my set-backs was Dec last year when the stylist cut too much hair like 2-2.5" and the highlights I got in front of my hair were over processed (thank God it was just the front), I had to cut those to angled bangs now my hair is U-shped, when it was almost blunt all around.
You can and will bounce back, keep working your regime.
hth
One of my set-backs was Dec last year when the stylist cut too much hair like 2-2.5" and the highlights I got in front of my hair were over processed (thank God it was just the front), I had to cut those to angled bangs now my hair is U-shped, when it was almost blunt all around.
You can and will bounce back, keep working your regime.
hth
diamondlady
Active Member
THANKS EVERYBODY,
I'm feeling much better. I doing my TLC with my hair and I did a protein conditioner. I just had to resign myself to the fact that I lost 3 months (and more) progress. Okay, now go on. At least I have you guys and I'm better off than I was this time last year.
I'm feeling much better. I doing my TLC with my hair and I did a protein conditioner. I just had to resign myself to the fact that I lost 3 months (and more) progress. Okay, now go on. At least I have you guys and I'm better off than I was this time last year.
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