Suffering Set-Backs

[diamondlady]

I know there must some other ladies out there, besides me, that have suffered set-backs in their efforts to reach their hair length goals.

I would like know what some of them are so I don't feel so alone.

Last year I tried Great Lengths extensions (They promised no damage and if you read their ads, you'll begin to believe them). I lost so much hair. They were great while they were in but taking them out

This year, a minor set-back with a scissor-happy sytlist.
Who else has suffered set-backs?

 

[DatJerseyDyme]

Oh yeah..I've had a few.

I got CORNROWS..I got the TWICE, like I didn't learn my lesson the FIRST time. Both times my hair broke all over the place and my ends were a disaster.

NOW, I'm battling the DRY winter air. Earlier this month was CRUCIAL, I think I broke my hair off in some places. That's why I know I won't be reaching my goal until February even though I'm so close.

 

[Pepperanne3662]

I got highlights done within 2 weeks of each...but that wasn't the problem, the problem was the stylist sitting me under a dryer to semidry me and then proceed so blow dry with a brush...My hair was wet and week and it broke off badly...thus having me to break down and get a cut/trim. Now I must start all over again.

 

[perfectpeace]

I hope there isn't anyone out there who feels that they are the only ones whose hair is not thriving as they'd like it to right now. I don't know if this is what you would call a setback, but the hair around my ears is a totally different texture from the rest of my head. It does not relax well at all. Its a challege to keep length there. I am making progress, though.

Please stay encouraged. There are women on this board who have had a set back or two but whose hair is flourishing so nicely because they kept on going. Adrienne comes to mind. I just keep telling myself, it takes time, setbacks included.

 

[diamondlady]

PerfectPeace,

I believe some people probably have had set-backs, or they don't feel they are making progress, or doubt that they will ever reach their goal and right now, I'm a little down because I'm one of them.

Misery loves company, by hearing some of the stories, I can feel encouraged that I'm not alone. There have been times when I have said to myself, "Just forget it. It's not worth the effort". A few days later I'm back on the board and feeling better.

I started seeing real progress in September and so anxious to see what my hair looked like in December and this week by stylist chopped off all my progress and it's shorter than it was in September and I'm going from one emotion to another.

 

[EXSQUISIT]

diamondlady.....

i always think im never gonna reach waist...when i went in for my last retouch i had to get a trim because my ends were truly not up to par...she didnt trim a lot but it took me back to the same length i was last touchup...that was really discouraging but it would be even more so to keep those raggedy ends and cause major growth problems for myself.

dont worry you are definitely not alone, but at least we have the ladies of this forum to keep us encouraged. you'll be there before you know....take care

 

[PrincessM]

*SIGH* I'm experiencing a major set back

, I'm so embarrassed to wear my own hair without extentions or weave but I have to since now it's obvious to me that for *me* they cause more damage than good

. My hair is WAY to fine for them.

My crown area is extremely damaged and short due to a hairdresser who never took relaxing 101 and I had to go without a relaxer since July because it had to catch up & I had to come to the conclusion that I want to self relax now. I have enough to put in a bun, so I'm gonna do the baggie method so my hair is atleast close to decent again

I need all the support I can get!

 

[laketta]

You can see my recent setback (from last week) in my fotki account. I had a horrible haircut. I press my hair every once in awhile so i can get an accurate trim. Well this lady went scissor happy and the worse part, the cut was uneven and the layers do not lay correctly.

 

[perfectpeace]

[ QUOTE ]
diamondlady said:
PerfectPeace,

I believe some people probably have had set-backs, or they don't feel they are making progress, or doubt that they will ever reach their goal and right now, I'm a little down because I'm one of them.

Misery loves company, by hearing some of the stories, I can feel encouraged that I'm not alone. There have been times when I have said to myself, "Just forget it. It's not worth the effort". A few days later I'm back on the board and feeling better.

I started seeing real progress in September and so anxious to see what my hair looked like in December and this week by stylist chopped off all my progress and it's shorter than it was in September and I'm going from one emotion to another.

[/ QUOTE ]

DiamondLady, that really upsets me that your stylist did this. It really does.

I do agree with you that it is important that people post their setbacks along with their sucesses so that people don't think growing hair is easy. So I'm glad you started this post so that people will keep on going.

If this is what you want to do though, its worth it. But I do feel the same way too. Its tiring because I am doing my hair all my own. I trim/cut, relax and style all my own. And half the time its guess work and it takes hours out of my day. So I feel you on the frustration.

 

[diamondlady]

Perfectpeace,

You got what I'm saying and you said it better than I did. Thanks Gurl!!! You see all the sucess stories and other ladies hair growing so much faster and better than yours and you get frustrated and then you have a stylist jack you up or you suffer some other set back.

See gurl, that's what I like about this board. People are understanding when you bring your thoughts and emotions.

I, like you, use to do everything to my hair and it took a lot of time. I think I'm gonna start again and if I mess up then I can only be mad at me and I don't have to pay someone to jack me up.

 

[Nyambura]

Diamondlady ~
I'm sorry your hairdresser took off more than she needed to. I'm glad you will not be back to her! I can totally relate: when I was trying to grow my hair out for my wedding, I had a scissor-happy stylist. Granted, my ends always looked even but ... my hair started retaining length once I switched to someone else. Unfortunately, it was too late to reach the goal length I'd planned a year earlier. Some hairdressers just don't practice good business/common sense: if they do a good job, we'll be back; otherwise, SEE YA!

I had to take some of the focus off my hair and concentrate on other aspects of my life for a while (that's just what worked for me). During that time, I continued to moisturize my hair, take my supps, and wrap my hair in silk/satin scarves. By the time I was ready to "talk hair" again, it was considerably longer. HTH.

BTW, Dontspeakdefeat, another LHCF member, started a wonderful thread that I thought you might enjoy; it helps me when I feel stuck in my progress (like right about now! lol). Ladies...with Long Hair Goals

 

[jemini]

I suffered a few setbacks this year. The biggest setback happened to me last month when I decided to cut about 3-4 inches off my hair b/c I felt my hair near the ends looked dull/lifeless compared to the hair that was beginning to grow out. I was approaching bra-strap too

. Thankfully you all keep me motivated in reaching my goal

. I don't know where I'd be without the LHCF

 

[LABETT]

My set back was the first of the year when I was try to grow
back in hairline and bald spots was relaxing it after working so hard for those areas to grow back in.
Lession learned never relax hairline when hair is thin and
don't have enough new growth to relax it will break off.

 

[Babs77]

Hi Ladies,

I know how you feel about setbacks. I sometimes feel like my hair will never grow to midback length. I have been the same length for over a year (bra) and when I finally seem to be getting somewhere I make the mistake of allowing a hairdresser trim my ends and lose 1-2 inches. I put my hair in a weave but this week i am going to take it out a start my healthy routine. But the stupid thing is I don't want to look at my hair and see what I have lost. Well, no reason to cry over spilt milk I got to start my haircare journey somewhere. I look at these ladies as inspirations and to get advice. sorry about rambling.

 

[Leshia]

i had a major disaster happen after the last time i wore braids. i had them in for about 2.5 months and when i took them out my hair was a tangled mess. I tried using the cathy howse conditioner and i had about 2000 knots in my hair. i lost an amount of hair the size of a baseball...i really believe i lost not only length, but a lot of thickness due to that fiasco. Now, it seems as though bra strap may never ever come, even though it's about three inches away...

 

[karezone]

My last most recent set back was during the summer with a Jazzing rinse (blue black). My hair literally melted off of my head.

Before that before I discoverd LHCF, invisible braids. Imagine micros and go even smaller. My hair broke off from shoulder length to chin length, I had a bald spot in my head and my edges were a disaster. Never again.

 

[lthomas1]

I have also suffered a set-back from a relaxer that burned off part of the length of my hair. I will more likely wait about 4-6 months before doing my next touch up. I have since gained about an inch of new growth in the damaged area.

Just continue with you regime and keep your head up things will get better!!!

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

Hi Ladies!

I had a set back in August when I took my braids out. I did not comb through the entire length of my hair before washing it. My hair was so tangled after I got finished, I was ready to cry.

I had 2 major knots of hair that just had to be cut off. I couldn't do anything else. The hair in the back wound up extremely uneven because of this. I am talking about a 2 inch or more difference.

But you know what, when these types of happen, whether it be nature, something you may have done yourself or even a stylists that messed up, you always have to remember Don't Speak Defeat!

Those are just setbacks. Setbacks can be overcome.

I have since gained way more length than originally lost and my hair is thriving and growing very well!

 

[KathyMay]

my set backs was stretching out my relaxer. No matter how much I deep conditioned my hair at 8 wks post relaxer my hair was thick and my weak spt continued to break off even if I keep it moisturized. So know my weak spot is still trying to catch up with the rest of my hair. My hairstylist and I argeed that I should come in for a touch up before 8 wks.

 

[Angelicus]

I'm sorry about your setback. everyone has one.

My setback was when that

cut an inch of my hair off, talking about "Let me trim u up girl." I measured my hair when I came home and it was like my didn't grow since my last relaxer

Now I refuse to let the broad cut my hair.

 

[Karonica]

I always have them, diamondlady, and I mean always! But, I'm putting an end to that!

Earlier this year, I was close to bra-strap, if I wasn't already there. Then, I got put on medication, and my hair stopped taking to perms, and I tried transitioning, only to have more breakage. When I finally started back perming in October (4 months later), I had to get a ton of it chopped off.

Then, the wench chopped more of my hair a month later without my permission. I feel so bald.

But no more, daggit, no more!!!!!!!

 

[UmSumayyah]

My setback is happening right now. A short history: I had been using a no-lye and getting touchups 2-3 times a year, but only to take out about half of the curl pattern. I switched to lye and had 3 bad underprocessing events, 1 minor underprocessing.
I went to Penney's and the stylist used a no-lye (which I agreed to) but overlapped onto the lye hair and eventually all the way down to the ends. It was straighter than I wanted but I had no immediate breakage so I was fine. Also I could see how all my efforts had translated into shoulder-length hair for the first time in my life Recently though, my hair started breaking. It does everytime I handle it, about every 3-4 days. I'm talking hairs anywhere from 1/2 inch to 3 inches long.
I tried to save it with an Aphogee treatment and intense moisture but it doesn't seem to have worked.
*sigh*. All my biotin, msm, ends-greasing, protectiv styling, satin cap-sleeping, ammonium-laureth-sulfate eliminating, distilled water spritzing, hot oiling, conditioner-washing up in FLAMES!

 

[debyjay]

My hair is getting longer so I guess it's growing, however it simply won't stop breaking, I had major shedding for years, then was turned on to a miracle in a bottle - Nutrine garlic shampoo, stopped the shedding almost immediately, now if only I can find another miracle in a bottle to stop all this breakage. Like UmSumayyah the hairs are 1/2 inch to 3 inches long.

 

[shinyblackhair]

I'm having the same experience as UmSumayya with the breakage.

I'm trying not to lose heart though. I'm still grateful because my hair hasn't been this long in the 18+ years that I've been relaxing.

 

[SingingStar12]

My major setback right now is breakage as well.

 

[Ipanema]

I had a setback this past summer when I my ends became hard & coated with some water-resistant material that wouldn't wash out. To this day, I still don't know what happened there, but I ended up cutting nearly two inches.

I also had a setback not too long ago when I moved & I was washing my hair with hard water. Before realizing what was making my hair so brittle, I ended up having a ton of breakage & losing some length. Something positive came out of that experience, though. Losing those hairs created less bulk & my hair is a bit easier deal with now.

 

[Ayeshia]

my setback was going natural....but it was a positive setback i should say. i went from almost 10 inches of relaxed hair to 2 in of natural hair. i do miss my hair a lot but i cant wait for it to grow out!!!!!!!!! although ive never had problems with my hair before. but the longest my hair has ever been wasabout 16-18 inches all over w/o deep conditioning, taking vitamins, and using hot combs all the time. so i can't imagine how long its going to get now that im not using heat at all and deep conditioning weekly and taking my vitamins!!!

 

[leejure]

well I had two.

In 2000, I Had joined a hair board (BHSGO) and had worn my hair in a bun most of the time (like now). But I was wearing the "incorrect bun". Anyway, a year later, my hair had grew to like 4 inches from bra-strap and I had to get it cut back up to shoulder length because I had severe breakage int eh middle of my hair.

Then in July, I got my hair even-out and had about 3 inches cut off.

-lee

 

[diamondlady]

Thank all of you. Now I have more bad news. She cut it and now it's breaking. I noticed little hairs all over the sink this morning. WHAT DID THAT COW DO????

 

[karezone]

Do a protein conditoner to try and stop the breakage.