Would You Rather Have Damaged Relaxed Hair or Healthy Natural 4b Hair?

[ichephren]

I would take the healthy 4b hair please. I only ask that it's as thick as dsylla's...shazzam!!

 

[sunnydaze]

basically...

ok...well I would have to go with the horror of having healthy 4b natural hair and just live out my life in exile.......

 

[AfroKink]

So..with this new revelation..both are being posed as evils and you are picking b/w the lesser of two....am I correct?

Thats how how I took it.

Lys

 

[BroadstreetBully]

ok...well I would have to go with the horror of having healthy 4b natural hair and just live out my life in exile.......

Stock up on combs, cause long, thick, full 4b hair like SERA25's don't play with cheap combs!

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

This thread makes me giggle inside....

If people just adopted new techniques on hwo to care for their hair, and knew the facts instead of myths....it wouldn't matter relaxed or natural. It would be healthy hair period, and that's basically what we all want

 

[sunnydaze]

This thread makes me giggle inside....

If people just adopted new techniques on hwo to care for their hair, and knew the facts instead of myths....it wouldn't matter relaxed or natural. It would be healthy hair period, and that's basically what we all want

That made me giggle!!!

 

[MissJ]

I have seen some relaxed heads irl that looked damaged beyond repair. (thin edges due to relaxers, straggly ends, etc) They relax at every chance they get. They absolutely refuse to follow healthy hair techniques.


I asked one girl why don't you lay off the chemicals for awhile and go natural. Her response," I don't have that type of hair. I have nappy hair". "It won't look good".I was like . You would rather look like a chicken attacked your head rather than have thick healthy natural hair just because you don't like the natural hair that grows out of your head.


So my question is, would you rather have damaged relaxed hair or healthy natural 4b hair? It's sad to say but some women would actually say they would keep the damaged relaxed hair just because of their natural hair type.

Disclaimer: I know every natural head is not healthy.

A chicken attacked her head?

Natural all the way!

 

[Theo]

Oh wow.... hmmm... I don't know.... geez. What a hard question.

 

[MizaniLocs]

I'd take the 4a/b relaxed.

Shiyed, I'd take natural (edited, my bad) 4b hair over my current relaxed healthy hair under the stipulations that 1. it was my current length, and 2. I knew what works for me (ie products and easy detangling/manageable) right NOW.

I'm already 4a/b so I that would not be a problem at all. I haven't been wearing my hair straight lately, so other than easy detangling and manageablility, I have no point of being relaxed. If I could get the detangling/manageability and length as a guaranteed, packed deal I'd sign up quick, fast, and in a hurry.

 

[cieramichele]

Damaged relaxed hair.
or straighten that 4b

 

[ebonylocs]

But why do they have to go natural? Why can't they stretch and/or adopt healthier relaxed hair care methods?

I can't tell someone with damaged relaxed hair to just go natural gung ho. She has to get heathly hair care down first then stretch and if she can handle the stretching and new methods, THEN go natural.

You're acting like natural hair is some kind of brain surgery, and that relaxed hair is the default position. People! This is what grows out of our own doggoned scalps. Natural hair isn't complicated. How come we're the only race on the planet that thinks that the DEFAULT position for our hair is to chemically alter it? So that to go back to our texture must be some big production???? Wow, it's like the matrix or something. (I've been back and forth between natural and processed whenever I feel like a change. And whenever I wanted to go back to natural, you know what I did? ... I took a pair of scissors, cut my processed hair off, and that was that. And my natural hair was always fine.)

I currently have relaxed hair. But it is a true OPTION for me. Not the only one. I've worn my hair all kinds of ways. And *if* relaxers were damaging my hair, I'd say goodbye to them, just like ANY OTHER *option* in my life.

I think that was the OP's point: Not to down relaxed hair - that would be silly. But just to point out that some women consider relaxed hair to be the ONLY choice. So much so, that even if the relaxer is killing their hair, they refuse to give it up. And yes, I've seen those women, and wondered the same thing about them: How do you go out of the way to actually DO something (and pay $$$ for it) that makes your hair look like ish, when not doing anything at all would yield better results? It's not logical.

 

[HoneyA]

4b healthy and natural but I have been schooled at LHCF so luckily my view is different from the average lady who just wants to hide all traces of her own texture because she doesn't have the knowledge to take care of it and make it thrive. If I hadn't found this forum, my view would probably have been very different. I didn't even have a clue what healthy hair was. I thought a good relaxer was a bone straight look and one where the relaxer was applied all through the hair right to the ends. That same question you put to us, you should break it down for those outside the board who are living with damaged relaxed hair.

 

[Afro-Indi]

How is it loaded?

The question is basically asking to choose the lesser of 2 "evils".
The answer to this question should be very obvious since we're talking healthy vs. damaged, but since it's not that simple, some people are choosing damaged relaxed over healthy 4b natural.
For many, it has nothing to do with the health and has more to do with texture.

I think that this is an extremely biased question in my honest opinion. Now if you had asked a 3rd question like "Would you rather have healthy, well-maintained relaxed hair", then you would get a lot better responses from relaxed heads like myself......
--But if there were indeed options for
-healthy relaxed
-healthy natural
-damaged relaxed
It would be a really dumb question because we already know who would answer what with the exception of transitioners.
Naturals choose healthy natural.
Relaxed/Texlaxed choose healthy relaxed.
The purpose of the OP posing the question in the manner that she did was to propose a 'dilemma'
-

What I would like to know is why do most, not all, but most naturals get all "bent out of shape" with the ladies who chose to relax, texlax, and texturize their hair? ..................
I can guarantee you that you DO NOT know Most Naturals.

You're acting like natural hair is some kind of brain surgery, and that relaxed hair is the default position. People! This is what grows out of our own doggoned scalps. Natural hair isn't complicated. How come we're the only race on the planet that thinks that the DEFAULT position for our hair is to chemically alter it? So that to go back to our texture must be some big production???? Wow, it's like the matrix or something.

I currently have relaxed hair. .......

Sorry sis, I was with you up until this point.
Pleeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssssssssse, don't take that personally
But like a few others have been saying in this thread
"That just made me giggle"
Nevertheless, I TOTALLY get what you're saying Ebony, HHG

 

[Aggie]

The question is basically asking to choose the lesser of 2 "evils".
The answer to this question should be very obvious since we're talking healthy vs. damaged, but since it's not that simple, some people are choosing damaged relaxed over healthy 4b natural.
For many, it has nothing to do with the health and has more to do with texture.





Sorry sis, I was with you up until this point.
Pleeeeeaaaaaaaasssssssssssssse, don't take that personally
But like a few others have been saying in this thread
"That just made me giggle"
Nevertheless, I TOTALLY get what you're saying Ebony, HHG

Sweet girl, I live in the Bahamas where natural hair is prevalent. So don't tell me what I know from what I don't know. I speak only from the experience I have.

It's just that whenever a thread like this comes up, it's always someone wearing their hair natural who does it. Why is there a constant need to fight each other on our own ideals and practices. Don't get me wrong, I love natural hair, and that's the honest truth. I am just sick and tired of having naturals always trying to beat down my throat about it. We leave you alone, so why the heck won't you leave us the hell alone?

 

[Afro-Indi]

Sweet girl, I live in the Bahamas where natural hair is prevalent. So don't tell me what I know from what I don't know.

Darling....You DON'Tknow Most Naturals.
Natural hair may very well be prevalent in the Bahamas; however that doesn't mean that the majority of Naturals are IN the Bahamas.
Black/African women are Natural world-wide.
You don't know most naturals.
I'll just chalk your comment up to your own personal encounters with Naturals

 

[Aggie]

Darling....You DON'Tknow Most Naturals.
Natural hair may very well be prevalent in the Bahamas; however that doesn't mean that the majority of Naturals are IN the Bahamas.
Black/African women are Natural world-wide.
You don't know most naturals.
I'll just chalk your comment up to your own personal encounters with Naturals

Well that's all I am saying. Also you and a few others are those that I speak of that would not leave us relaxed heads alone. Why are you so consumed with our hair?

 

[gymfreak336]

Sweet girl, I live in the Bahamas where natural hair is prevalent. So don't tell me what I know from what I don't know. I speak only from the experience I have.

It's just that whenever a thread like this comes up, it's always someone wearing their natural who does it. Why is there a constant need to fight each other on our own ideals and practices. Don't get me wrong, I love natural hair, and that's the honest truth. I am just sick and tired of having naturals always trying to beat down my throat about it. We leave you alone, so the heck won't you leave us the hell alone?

Because people have issues with hair. Its like if someone had issues with their hair growing up, then as they learn and journey to healthy hair whether relaxed or natural, they tend to put those issues on everyone else. Like if I had issues with it then everyone else must have had issues like mine too. If someone was relaxing their hair to fit in or what ever, then once they become natural, some of them believe that since that was their reason then everyone else must be going through the same issues which isn't the case. Not everyone has hair horror stories that affected them to the same level as everyone else and people need to remember that. It just seems like as some people go natural or whatever, they become a little self righteous and start to assume that everyone else still relaxing is in denial and has issues just because at one point they did.

At the end of the day, whether relaxed or natural, our concern should be learning about taking care of our hair. A damaged relaxed head and a damaged natural head are the envy of no one.

I hear ya Aggie, I do

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

No brainer for me: Healthy natural hair

 

[Aggie]

Because people have issues with hair. Its like if someone had issues with their hair growing up, then as they learn and journey to healthy hair whether relaxed or natural, they tend to put those issues on everyone else. Like if I had issues with it then everyone else must have had issues like mine too. If someone was relaxing their hair to fit in or what ever, then once they become natural, some of them believe that since that was their reason then everyone else must be going through the same issues which isn't the case. Not everyone has hair horror stories that affected them to the same level as everyone else and people need to remember that. (This is so true) It just seems like as some people go natural or whatever, they become a little self righteous and start to assume that everyone else still relaxing is in denial and has issues just because at one point they did.

At the end of the day, whether relaxed or natural, our concern should be learning about taking care of our hair. A damaged relaxed head and a damaged natural head are the envy of no one.

I hear ya Aggie, I do

I could not agree with this statement more.

 

[Country gal]

Duh Natural healthy hair. No brainer.

 

[Demi27]

Wow!

I guess I didn't see where the OP posted a loaded question. I guess I also didn't se how the question that she asked was about choosing from the lesser of 2 evils. I thought the OP really just asked whether or not you would rather have damaged relaxed hair over healthy natural hair. I don't think the 4B texture (mine...lol) has anything to do with it.

I also think it's a valid question. I personally would take healthy hair period. However, I am VERY good friends with a girl who would rather have damaged relaxed hair over healthy hair. She doesn't wear a scarf to bed because her husband doesn't want her to. Her hair has INCHES AND INCHES of damage due to over processing and her just taking horrible care of her hair overall. When I asked her about taking better care of her hair or laying off the chemicals, she said NO. She said that I don't know what it takes to take care of "long" hair like hers. I kept my comments to myself about her "long" hair (which is just past shoulder length, but getting shorter by the day).

Because this is a board where we're all trying to obtain healthy hair, I don't think that anyone is going to fess up and say, "Oh yeah. I would take damaged relaxed hair first." However, a lot of us, including myself, didn't know any better before we learned the true damage that we were doing to our hair (relaxed or natural). Back in the day, I know I was willing to take damaged relaxed hair over natural hair because I didn't know any better. I didn't realize that I could have healthy natural or relaxed hair.

Oh well.

 

[AfroKink]

Sweet girl, I live in the Bahamas where natural hair is prevalent. So don't tell me what I know from what I don't know. I speak only from the experience I have.

It's just that whenever a thread like this comes up, it's always someone wearing their hair natural who does it. Why is there a constant need to fight each other on our own ideals and practices. Don't get me wrong, I love natural hair, and that's the honest truth. I am just sick and tired of having naturals always trying to beat down my throat about it. We leave you alone, so why the heck won't you leave us the hell alone?

Isn't the OP relaxed though? erplexed

Wow!

I guess I didn't see where the OP posted a loaded question. I guess I also didn't se how the question that she asked was about choosing from the lesser of 2 evils. I thought the OP really just asked whether or not you would rather have damaged relaxed hair over healthy natural hair. I don't think the 4B texture (mine...lol) has anything to do with it.

If the 4b texture had nothing to do with it, it wouldn't be in the question. I asked the OP back on page 1 or 2 why 4b texture was specifically targeted. She put it there on purpose because of the stereotype/stigma of that hair type. The question really is, would you
a) Have damaged relaxed hair (not a good thing)
b) Have a healthy natural texture that is steeped in negative stigma- 4b (not a good thing)

The 4b texture IS a part of the question. And since both of the options are presented as being negative, it really is choosing the lesser of 2 evils.

Lys

 

[sxyhairfetish]

ummmm... i think threads like these should come with disclaimers... its not that serious... i understand what the OP was asking.. I have a friend who hates her texture and screams everytime i try to look at her newgrowth... mind you she has damaged permed hair... and to her her natural texture is a 4ZZZZZZZZZZ.... I would tell her to cut it off and start fresh anyday.... relaxed or natural it dont matter... I would tell her to cut it into a halleberry cut and grow it out...I doubt she meant any harm... or maybe im missing something?

 

[beana]

natural 4b hair anyday....

I have relaxed 4a/b hair and would love to be natural RIGHT NOW.. my problem is i dont want to sacrafice length.
As soon as i muster up the courage to do the BC, this hair is gone. Btw, my relaxed hair isnt damage either.

 

[discobiscuits]

I wasn't sure if I should comment or what to say.

Currently I have both: damaged relaxed hair and healthy 4B hair - I'm transitioning.

Personally I don't want damaged hair of any kind - relaxed or natural.

As it relates to the OP's op. She stated that she had a conversation with someone and was not happy w/ the person's response so she put the question to us.

I have seen some relaxed heads irl that looked damaged beyond repair. (thin edges due to relaxers, straggly ends, etc) They relax at every chance they get. They absolutely refuse to follow healthy hair techniques.

I asked one girl why don't you lay off the chemicals for awhile and go natural. Her response," I don't have that type of hair. I have nappy hair". "It won't look good".I was like . You would rather look like a chicken attacked your head rather than have thick healthy natural hair just because you don't like the natural hair that grows out of your head.

So my question is, would you rather have damaged relaxed hair or healthy natural 4b hair? It's sad to say but some women would actually say they would keep the damaged relaxed hair just because of their natural hair type.

Disclaimer: I know every natural head is not healthy.

IMO I don't think that the OP submitted a loaded question. I do think that there are two things in play; 4B type hair and healthy natural hair regardless of the "type".

We've all seen both healthy relaxed 4B hair and healthy natural 4B hair here and in various fotkis.

I think that it is a valid question with or without the 4B part. It is ture that there are black women who will hold on to damaged crazy looking relaxed hair rather than chop it off and start over or seek out proper care and techniques or what have you. And definitely some choose damaged relaxed over their natural texture regardless of the natural texture type because most blacks in Eurocentric influenced countries are conditioned to believe that their natural texture is "bad" or not as desirable or not as acceptable as straight Eurocentric type hair.

 

[honesty]

I think that was the OP's point: Not to down relaxed hair - that would be silly. But just to point out that some women consider relaxed hair to be the ONLY choice. So much so, that even if the relaxer is killing their hair, they refuse to give it up. And yes, I've seen those women, and wondered the same thing about them: How do you go out of the way to actually DO something (and pay $$$ for it) that makes your hair look like ish, when not doing anything at all would yield better results? It's not logical.

I totally agree with the OP's point and i am surprisaed this has come under such debate becuase i don't think it was intended to. O, where do i start. First of all I am natural 4b and relaxer free since 2004. I had very damaged hair just said "forget it" I alwasy admired women who were nautral, it exuded confidence and feeling comfortable in your own skin, which i loved! SO my answer to this poll is obvious.

And maybe it wasn't the relaxer that was bad for my hair, but i now have almost APL hair without doing anything special for my hair (that has changed since coming here, LHCF has tought me a lot) but granted, it "should" be longer considering how long i have been growing it out but like i said, I haven't been doing DC like i should ( untill now!) when i was relaxed i could barely reach SL....so go figure!

I am surprised the commentary got so intense. It wasn't meant to attack those that relax, and I don't think it was the intention of the OP. And in general whenver you start grouping people together and putting big labels, " naturals this" or "permies that" you are asking for trouble. I can assure that the nautrals who even would think to frequent this are not the ones that would come down your throat

I have nothing but love for all the beautiful relaxed heads here, and have learned a ton. Had i discovered this site i may have never gone natural, but i LOVE my 4b hair and the process of learning to love and be proud of my kinks has been a beautiful one, no regret here

 

[jaded_faerie]

I recently had both damaged relaxed hair and healthy natural hair....I wanted to transition to hold on to my length, but just last week opted not to. I BC'ed and I'm loving it. I would take the healthy natural 4b hair over damaged relaxed hair anyday.

Also this thread is not that serious...why are people getting so hype?

 

[beautifulisaunderstatment]

1. ALL hair is damaged. Unless your hair remains untouched for the rest of your life it recieved wear and tear

2. All relaxed hair is damaged.... Period. A relaxer BREAKS the bonds in the hair shaft AND DOES NOT put the back together. The hair is weaker PERMANENTLY.

THIS DOES NOT MEAN that the hair cant grow long or will break off.

3. All natural hair is damaged... (refer to #1), dont believe me? Go to nappturality.com or even do a search here for naturlas with tangles, knots, split ends, non reverting hair, etc. *gasp* dare I say damage?

With all that established we can now move on. Would you choose to have broken severly damaged relaxed hair that wont grow and breaks off in patches or natural "healthy as it can be under normal circumstances" 4b (the most stigmatized) hair? Id take the healthy hair.

Maybe it would have been better worded that you had 1a natural (non relaxed) fragile 2 inch long broken hair versus natural frizzy non curly hair (just for kicks).

Seeing that the OP is relaxed why are so many people turning into nappy bashers? SHE'S ONE OF YALL!!

Yall were just waiting to bash a nappy head... With our nappy pushing agendas

Yall aint even read her siggy

I relaxed today on Jan 23, 2008 (pic was taken a few days after) Still had shrinkage
Back to apl after trim.
Hoping for bsl before Summer '08

Undercover nappy haters.... SMH! I dont care, Ill relax and go natural as I please, and when I see melted fried broken hair on someone Ill always remember this thread!

 

[AfroKink]

To answer the OP’s question, when I was 17 I damaged my relaxed hair with heating tools. When I was sitting in the salon chair, my hair dresser and mother posed the question. My hair was going to have to get cut really short. I could get the damage cut off and have short relaxed hair, or I could cut it off and have short natural hair. I guess I could have held onto the longer damaged relaxed hair as a third option. I didn't know about hair typing and I didn't grow up with the stigma around hair that a lot of people had to go through so it was a really easy decision for me. I left the salon with a 4b twa. Relaxed hair had become a hassle and it was time for something new. I’m glad I made the decision.

Lys

 

[BillsBackerz67]

I dont see this as a complicated question or lesser of the 2 eveils. I know clearly what the OP was saying. i know people who would rather have chewed up relaxed hair with patches missing rather than go natural (regardless of the hair type) or even stretch their relaxer somewhat to give their hair a break. the same folks will be quick to relax well before a millimeter of new growth even shows up.