Weaves on pre-teens?

[sweetcashew]

When it is ok to start putting weaves and braided extensions in little girls hair?
The reason I’m asking this question is because my cousin puts a weave in her 10 yr old daughter's hair. To me it just is ridiculous but she says that kids are teasing her daughter in school.
I use to do this child's hair. I tried to convince her mother not to perm her hair but she insisted that it was too much to handle so I put a perm in. Her hair was thriving and growing like a weed when I was doing it.
She took her daughter to a very popular, expensive downtown Brooklyn salon (which shall remain nameless) and they decided that whoever was doing this child's hair was doing it wrong. They claimed it was under processed and that her ends needed a touch up.
I warned my cousin not to let anyone else apply her relaxers but I guess because I'm not a professional stylist my opinion doesn't count.
She started taking her to the salon for about 6 months, now the child has no hair. I mean her hair was mid back and thick, now it barely to her neck and when you comb it, it's just crackles up and comes out on the comb.
Instead of following my advice on how to get her hair healthy again, my cousin decides to put weaves into her hair. Waist length weaves.
I try not to be judgmental but it disgusts me to see that. What do you guys think about this?
Oh by the way, my cousin has been wearing a weave for the last 20 years to make her hair grown. She's almost bald now.

 

[silvergirl]

i will NEVER let my child wear a weave.
but in general id say the youngest should be atleast 16.. jmo

 

[Isis]

I do know that little girls who've had chemotherapy do get wigs for their appearance and self-confidence. I see no problem with that.

The example you brought up is tragic and a common one, unfortunately. I've seen many little girls with braided extensions which may be a good idea to help grow out the hair. I don't know about weaves though.

 

[comike]

Rather than putting weave it in, I would make it my business to instill in her that who she is has nothing to do with her hair regardless of what anyone else may say. As India Arie put it "I am not my hair". Kids will be kids. They are constantly teasing each other, talking about one another. As a child, it's better to teach them how to deal with those difficult situations rather than conforming. My best friend's daughter went through the same thing at 9. I thought it was admirable of her as a mother to give her that kind of affirmation.

Not to mention, weave is bad for the hair any way. I've never met a single person that has put extensions, weave, whatever you want to call it in their hair without their natural hair suffering.

 

[dlewis]

This is so sad. I HATE to see this, my daughter who is the kindergarden, is one of the only black children in her class with no weave (only 2 other black girls). The other black girls have weave, most have the braids but some have waist length weave. This is so sad. These mothers who have been wearing weave, as you said, for 20 years to grow their hair now is making their young daughter victims of future baldness. Between that and fake nails at an early age, it's no wonder why so many children have self esteem issues.

 

[cutiebe2]

I think getting braid extensions are fine because they are cute and can have a childs style to them. Weave is NEVER OK. Its just too grown. I remember a girl in 4th grade had weave (glue in) and you could see the glue, PLUS, the gule went crazy and so whole sections were glued together. I felt so bad for her. Even now, at 17, I don't want weave (just me). Maybe its because of that girl....

 

[glamazon386]

I think that braid extensions are okay on smaller children but weave isn't. I wore braid extensions a lot as a child though and they grew my hair to midback. But if the child's hair is that bad, she might even want to be careful with the braid extensions. They might cause more harm than good. They made my damaged hair worse my first year of college. I had to cut 2 yrs of progress from a short hair cut off and start from scratch. It depends on the braider and how well the mother is going to take care of the braids. I hate seeing little kids with weave and phony ponys though. I think I had my first weave for a special occasion in 8th grade bc they wanted my shoulder length hair a bit longer but that was it. I was allowed to wear pinned track ponytails once I got in high school but I couldn't get a weave for real until Junior Prom. She might just want to find a good stylist and take the child regular to get her hair treated.

 

[MizAvalon]

What ever happened to little girls just wearing ponytails?

I guess kids are too sophisticated for simple stuff like that anymore.

 

[sweetcashew]

What ever happened to little girls just wearing ponytails?

I guess kids are too sophisticated for simple stuff like that anymore.

That's what I'd like to know. I think it's the images they see portrayed on tv. Also I noticed that my little cousin is obsessed with those Bratz dolls and wants to look like that. She doesn't eat either for the fear of getting fat.

 

[caltron]

What ever happened to little girls just wearing ponytails?

I guess kids are too sophisticated for simple stuff like that anymore.

ITA! When I was in school, all the little girls wore their natural hair in big fat pigtails, etc. We would press it out for picture days only. I guess that's not the norm anymore.

 

[goldensensation]

It is my opinion that children should not wear weaves. I dont even like seeing braided extensions on really little kids. A 5-13 year old has no business with fake braids in. They are almost always too tight and I see so many kids with "ate up" hairlines that it is depressing. Weaves should be reserved for teenagers (16 and up).

 

[*ElleB]

There isn't anything wrong with braided extensions, IMO, they are a great option, especially for working parents who can't do two or three heads of hair every day. It's all in the upkeep and care. I wore braids from 4-6th grade....

But WEAVES? that is way to grown.

 

[senimoni]

I don't like either, braids or weaves....braids MIGHT be okay over the summer or vacation but 24/7...NO, not my child anyway.

 

[myco]

What ever happened to little girls just wearing ponytails?

I guess kids are too sophisticated for simple stuff like that anymore.

Most of the time their hair has been so broken off and overprocessed from relaxers, that they don't have enough hair for ponytails anymore.

I know of a little girl who is a friend of the family going through this right now. Her mother put a perm in her hair when she turned 4. The little girl had gorgeous, thick, coarse hair. But the mom did not like to do it. Before the relaxer, the little girl would walk around with the same frizzy, matted braids for a month at a time. The little girl is tenderheaded, because no one ever combs her hair properly on a regular basis and because her mom has drilled into her head not to let anyone touch her hair because she doesn't "want them to break it off". My mom and sister have both offered to take care of the little girl's hair, but my sister backed off of that because the mom is the kind of person that will blame someone else for the damage that she is causing to the little girl's hair with the relaxer and non-care.

So now she has a Phyto relaxer in her hair and my sister says that each time she sees the little girl, more of her hairline is missing in the back and the front, and it's turning that off-black/red color that some people get. But the mother won't listen to anything that you tell her. All they do is slick back the broken edges with gel into a ponytail, They don't even comb through the crown. She won't take product suggestions and she still doesn't comb it on a regular basis. She thinks all she has to do is spend $60 on a relaxer and the girl should be good to go. So I think she'll have either braid extensions or a weave in her hair pretty soon.

 

[Legend]

The oddest thing: I was in a BSS today and saw drawstring ponytails for girls. They are smaller and shorter than adult phony ponies. I wasn't quite sure how to feel about it except very surprised. My mom had three little girls all with very long, unprocessed hair to style everyday, and we never had a bad hair day. Period.

In my own very humble opinion, I think parents need to take the time to care for their babies’ hair rather than taking the easy way out through weaves and such. These new kiddie phony-tails are a sign that parents are not caring for their child hair so much any more. When I was growing up, occasionally there was a child with braided extensions, but it was not the norm. I think hair pieces are teaching girls today that their own hair is "not good enough" and are not growing up with good hair care habits.

At the same time, I work in the human services industry and I understand that many parents are too busy keeping their families fed to worry about hair. But my parents struggled too, and found the time to keep us girls groomed. I think because there are so many easy ways out for parents now, they take them. But I really think the children suffer. And it’s not just about appearances. Some of the fondest memories was me sitting on the floor between my mothers knees as she oiled my hair and scalp and braided it, and we would haven these wonderful conversations. Time devoted exclusively to me, and I always felt special.

However, I very much feel that for children with damaged hair a protective style under a phony pony, or braids might be helpful in the recovery, but not every day.

Just my $.02!

 

[MizAvalon]

I understand that parents are busy, heck mine certainly were when I was little and my Mom didn't have lots of time in the morning to devote to my hair. So she got my aunt to braid my hair. MY hair. And I was good to go for a week or two.

What is wrong with braiding the kid's hair up with her own hair? Why does it have to be FAKE braids and ponytails? Seriously, these little girls can not be that bald these days.erplexed

 

[Southernbella.]

In my own very humble opinion, I think parents need to take the time to care for their babies’ hair rather than taking the easy way out through weaves and such.

ITA. In fact, I'm sick of seeing weaves PERIOD, but that's another topic for another day. But yes, starting kids out wearing other people's hair is just ridiculous.

I also agree that kids can get their own hair braided. Why do they need long, fake braids? It's not like they need to look glamourous. Wait until the teens for fake braids, and adulthood for weaves, if you MUST have them.

 

[Denim And Leather]

When it is ok to start putting weaves and braided extensions in little girls hair?
The reason I’m asking this question is because my cousin puts a weave in her 10 yr old daughter's hair. To me it just is ridiculous but she says that kids are teasing her daughter in school.
I use to do this child's hair. I tried to convince her mother not to perm her hair but she insisted that it was too much to handle so I put a perm in. Her hair was thriving and growing like a weed when I was doing it.
She took her daughter to a very popular, expensive downtown Brooklyn salon (which shall remain nameless) and they decided that whoever was doing this child's hair was doing it wrong. They claimed it was under processed and that her ends needed a touch up.
I warned my cousin not to let anyone else apply her relaxers but I guess because I'm not a professional stylist my opinion doesn't count.
She started taking her to the salon for about 6 months, now the child has no hair. I mean her hair was mid back and thick, now it barely to her neck and when you comb it, it's just crackles up and comes out on the comb.
Instead of following my advice on how to get her hair healthy again, my cousin decides to put weaves into her hair. Waist length weaves.
I try not to be judgmental but it disgusts me to see that. What do you guys think about this?
Oh by the way, my cousin has been wearing a weave for the last 20 years to make her hair grown. She's almost bald now.

That is so disguisting, I totally agree with you. Too bad your cousin didn't listen to you, because your hair is gorgeous. Putting a weave on a little girl's hair is just as bad as coloring a little girl's hair.

I hope your cousin wises up and starts letting you do your niece's hair again.

 

[Denim And Leather]

Some of the fondest memories was me sitting on the floor between my mothers knees as she oiled my hair and scalp and braided it, and we would haven these wonderful conversations. Time devoted exclusively to me, and I always felt special.

That's such a beautiful memory!

 

[scorpian]

There isn't anything wrong with braided extensions, IMO, they are a great option, especially for working parents who can't do two or three heads of hair every day. It's all in the upkeep and care. I wore braids from 4-6th grade....

But WEAVES? that is way to grown.

I have been struggling with this question for the last week.My daughter has a dance recital this weekend(she is the only black child in the class).
She has two dance numbers that require two different hairstyles.
The teachers want the first style to be hair half up in a ponytail and the other half of the hair straight down. The second style needs to be pulled back in a low bun because the second costume requires a hat.

For her previous years recital I used in her own hair for a low bun and 1yr I took her for a press and curl where my hairdresser was able to use human hair wrapped around the base of her own hair and she curled it because the costume required a big bow with long curls flowing over it.It rained hard on her last recital days so the piece allowed her to keep the style without reversion and I only had to add a little gel to the edges and tie them down until she was ready to dance.I removed the hairpinned piece right after the recital and took down the ponytail and she was able to wear the press on her own hair for the rest of the week.

The girls in her class all have long straight hair that requires just a simple band to pull up and leave the rest down or bun easily.My daughters hair in the back has always been the shortest part of her hair because it has the tightest curl and the most shrinkage.My friend suggested individual braids that are done with some thickness(not quite thin micros but ya'll get the point) so it can stay childlike for the recital. That would allow her to wear the two required styles for the recital.She has never had braid extensions.I am unsure about this I don't want to damage her hair. She is eight she'll be nine next month.Any other suggestions would be appreciated.

 

[sweetcashew]

I have been struggling with this question for the last week.My daughter has a dance recital this weekend(she is the only black child in the class).
She has two dance numbers that require two different hairstyles.
The teachers want the first style to be hair half up in a ponytail and the other half of the hair straight down. The second style needs to be pulled back in a low bun because the second costume requires a hat.

For her previous years recital I used in her own hair for a low bun and 1yr I took her for a press and curl where my hairdresser was able to use human hair wrapped around the base of her own hair and she curled it because the costume required a big bow with long curls flowing over it.It rained hard on her last recital days so the piece allowed her to keep the style without reversion and I only had to add a little gel to the edges and tie them down until she was ready to dance.I removed the hairpinned piece right after the recital and took down the ponytail and she was able to wear the press on her own hair for the rest of the week.

The girls in her class all have long straight hair that requires just a simple band to pull up and leave the rest down or bun easily.My daughters hair in the back has always been the shortest part of her hair because it has the tightest curl and the most shrinkage.My friend suggested individual braids that are done with some thickness(not quite thin micros but ya'll get the point) so it can stay childlike for the recital. That would allow her to wear the two required styles for the recital.She has never had braid extensions.I am unsure about this I don't want to damage her hair. She is eight she'll be nine next month.Any other suggestions would be appreciated.

In this case I think that individual braids are fine. You're not doing it because the child just wants long hair because she has self esteem issues. You're doing it for an occasion. To me this is totally different.

 

[scorpian]

In this case I think that individual braids are fine. You're not doing it because the child just wants long hair because she has self esteem issues. You're doing it for an occasion. To me this is totally different.

thanks for your response on this.I just wasn't sure if she is too young or if it's ok for this occasion.

 

[SwtnLow]

IMO I don't think anyone under 18 should be in a weave but I don't see any problem with braid extensions as long as the child is not constantly in extensions and the extensions are not too long, too tight or too heavy for the child. To me it is no different than a parent who occasionaly presses or flat irons their child's head to allow for certain styles or for certain occasions. Both processes can be damaging if not done right and neither process is necessary. Where I am from I rarely see a black girl over 3 with natural hair unless of course her hair is wavy or curly.

 

[sweetcashew]

Where I am from I rarely see a black girl over 3 with natural hair unless of course her hair is wavy or curly.

WOW! Now that's really sad!

 

[scorpian]

IMO I don't think anyone under 18 should be in a weave but I don't see any problem with braid extensions as long as the child is not constantly in extensions and the extensions are not too long, too tight or too heavy for the child. To me it is no different than a parent who occasionaly presses or flat irons their child's head to allow for certain styles or for certain occasions. Both processes can be damaging if not done right and neither process is necessary. Where I am from I rarely see a black girl over 3 with natural hair unless of course her hair is wavy or curly.

Thanks for your response.Three and under are the only ones with natural kinks

 

[RabiaElaine]

When it is ok to start putting weaves and braided extensions in little girls hair?
The reason I’m asking this question is because my cousin puts a weave in her 10 yr old daughter's hair. To me it just is ridiculous but she says that kids are teasing her daughter in school.
I use to do this child's hair. I tried to convince her mother not to perm her hair but she insisted that it was too much to handle so I put a perm in. Her hair was thriving and growing like a weed when I was doing it.
She took her daughter to a very popular, expensive downtown Brooklyn salon (which shall remain nameless) and they decided that whoever was doing this child's hair was doing it wrong. They claimed it was under processed and that her ends needed a touch up.
I warned my cousin not to let anyone else apply her relaxers but I guess because I'm not a professional stylist my opinion doesn't count.
She started taking her to the salon for about 6 months, now the child has no hair. I mean her hair was mid back and thick, now it barely to her neck and when you comb it, it's just crackles up and comes out on the comb.
Instead of following my advice on how to get her hair healthy again, my cousin decides to put weaves into her hair. Waist length weaves.
I try not to be judgmental but it disgusts me to see that. What do you guys think about this?
Oh by the way, my cousin has been wearing a weave for the last 20 years to make her hair grown. She's almost bald now.

I wonder which salon it is??? I may have gone there too. Not a surprise that this has happened to her. MOST salons don't know what they are doing.

I completely agree with you. I think it's absolutely ridiculous that someone put's a weave in a healthy child's hair. I could undersand a wig on a child that is sick w/ cancer or something.

The sad thing is that the weave (the way this salon is probably doing it) will only make the problem worse!!!!!!! It's funny that your cousin won't listen to you...I mean did she miss seeing all that hair on your head???? Did she not see how healthy the little girl's hair was when you were doing it? People amaze me erplexed .

I really hope for the sake of this little girl who has no control over the situation...your cousin will wake up and let you nurse her hair back to health and leave that salon alone!

 

[RabiaElaine]

IMO I don't think anyone under 18 should be in a weave but I don't see any problem with braid extensions as long as the child is not constantly in extensions and the extensions are not too long, too tight or too heavy for the child. To me it is no different than a parent who occasionaly presses or flat irons their child's head to allow for certain styles or for certain occasions. Both processes can be damaging if not done right and neither process is necessary. Where I am from I rarely see a black girl over 3 with natural hair unless of course her hair is wavy or curly.

Yeah that's true.

Yesterday I actually my friend's daughter's hair she's only 1 year and 7 months, and she has hair that is almost touching her waist when stretched! Mind you she's a little girls so not many inches are needed to get to her waist. Her hair is fine 4/a but she has a lot of it for her age. I would say about 7-9 inches when stretched...you rarely see a little black girl with that length of hair under 2 years old. Her baby hair is almost all gone too...only about 1 inch of it at the ends.

I told her mother that her hair is doing very well, and whatever she's doing to keep it up...and that she can bring her to me anytime to help take care of it. Only problem is because she has so much hair she hates people being in it. We try to distract her...but eventually she realizes that someone is in her hair and starts to cry.

 

[scorpian]

Update on this:The recital was today and I pressed her hair using both the maxiglide(for the top and sides) and the miniglide for the nape area

My sister- in- law sewed in a couple tracks in the back to enhance the length and she wore one ponytail on top(all her own hair)and one ponytail at the nape that was wrapped in a bun for the first number(the hat that went with the 1st costume covered the top ponytail so it looked like a bun at the base of her head(a bun at the nape was the goal)

I unwrapped the bun that was at the nape but I left it in a ponytail to hang down for the second number so she had a high ponytail at the top and a low ponytail at the nape(half hair up half hanging down was the goal)

It worked out perfect and I'm glad I went with this instead of the extensions cause the tracks were removed easily right after the recital

Thanks for all of your suggestions

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

There is no way in h e double hockey sticks my daughter (whose only 3 right now) would be getting a weave, or a perm, at 10 years old. ABSOLUTELY NO WAY!!!!! I'm sorry to hear her hair is so damaged. At least it will grow back but without the proper tlc she obviously needs her hair is going to be in a viscious cycle.

And lastly SHAME ON WHATEVER SALON is doing this 10 year olds weave.

 

[WomanlyCharm]

I hate to hear these kinds of stories!!!

I feel terrible for the little girls that has no say in the matter...just because their mothers are too pigheaded to see the truth, their hair health is shot.

No child under the age of 15 should have a weave in their head...that's foolishness!

Sweetcashew, I know it's difficult dealing with this woman, but PLEASE try and help this child before she becomes bitter and bald.