Who asked you anyway? (Unsolicited Advice)

[Falon]

I know we have had many threads about people with bad hair who love to give advice. Now ya'll know when I say bad hair I mean jacked up hair....snap short...breaking...thin...greasy...dirty..Jheri-Curled etc.


Why is it that these people always start off by giving you a compliment and then interjecting their advice about how your hair could look better and grow faster by following thier techniques? When it should be obvious that whatever it is that they are doing DOES NOT WORK for them...cuz if it did their hair wouldn't be looking all tore up? Then when you say "Well, I use ______ they follow up by telling you that the product(s) are no good...too expensive etc.

For example: I'm wearing my hair down today...I got a nice compliment followed up by the usual: Why don't you wear your hair down everyday?

Now I'm beyond telling people all the reasons why I wear my hair up a lot...especially this woman...last time she lectured me about not "doing" my hair...which in her book consist of slapping tons of olive oil on it nightly and frying it with a curling iron every morning...I explained that I don't like to use too much heat and all that..but obviously this info has not stuck in her brain.

Anyway, I'm tired of explaining myself so I just say:Well I'm pressed for time and can't wash my hair more than once a week these days. Now this woman with the tore up do was like: Wash hair every week? No...no..no...you shouldn't be washing your hair more than every 2 weeks (Mind you her hair is FULL of nasty white flakes...so this obviously does not work for her) and you need to use the ORS Hair Mayonaisse for deep conditining.

Why? you have been using it and washing your hair 2wce a month forever and your hair is thin...full of dandruff and not even neck length...WHY WOULD I LISTEN TO YOU!


Sorry I had to vent...anyway...feel free to share your unsolicited hair advice stories...the worst part is that I don't ask for advice or give any out voluntarily...this woman tracks me down at my desk to lecture me on hair care! /images/graemlins/hammer.gif worse of all she is my mother's age so I feel like I can't diss her at all out of respect.

She actually brought in the ORS...In my head I'm like: Did I ask you for that! but I said: Uh..maybe I will try it..whatever...not to say that it isn't a good product but I won't take a product recommendations from anyone with bad hair. Why would I?

 

[PretteePlease]

ask her how these methods are working for her that might shut her up

 

[Eclipse]

[ QUOTE ]

She actually brought in the ORS...In my head I'm like: Did I ask you for that! but I said: Uh..maybe I will try it..whatever...not to say that it isn't a good product but I won't take a product recommendations from anyone with bad hair. Why would I?

[/ QUOTE ]

/images/graemlins/rofl.gif I bet she thinks that her hair looks good!

 

[calbear]

[ QUOTE ]
ask her how these methods are working for her that might shut her up

[/ QUOTE ]

ohhhhh you done went all Dr. Phil on her "so how's that working for ya" HA!

 

[Poohbear]

[ QUOTE ]
ask her how these methods are working for her that might shut her up

[/ QUOTE ] /images/graemlins/laugh.gif /images/graemlins/rofl.gif

 

[ladylibra_30]

well, i actually let a woman w/ "tore up" hair do my hair...LOL

she's my hairdresser and she does a fantastic job on hair! now that i think of it most of the stylist i've gone to had "tore up hair" LOL!

 

[simplycee]

I remember when one of my mom's friends told to stop listening to me for hair care advice because I told her to wash her hair every 3 days. She actually brought my mother a huge bottle of mineral oil to work and told her to use that to moisturize her hair.

My mother said she looked at her and said "Is this what you put on your hair?" When the lady said yes my mother promptly said "no, that's alright" shoved the bottle right back her and excused herself.

I told my mother over the cell phone "Run, mom, run for your life!"

 

[ms_kenesha]

This whole thread has me /images/graemlins/rofl.gif

Luckily I work with Blancas and they never tell me how I should do my hair. /images/graemlins/up.gif

 

[Healthb4Length]

too funny! It's always the ones with jacked up hair giving unwanted advice, when they talk to me it goes in one ear and out the next...

 

[LuLu]

I think when in this situation I would say
"Well obviously what I am doing is working for me"(Gesture to your hair) "...and I assume whatever you are doing works for you"(Gesture to her hair with a perplexed look on your face)

Works for me!

 

[BrEE]

a friend of mine tried to make jokes about my hair when i wore it down last week. she had the nerve to grab my hair and say" oh no, you need to do something, your hair looks a mess" i was dumbfounded cause this chic wears a pony tail every day with hardly any hair sticking out of it. i didnt say anything though. why bother?

 

[sillygurl18]

LOL! @ Kenesha and Blancas!!!

 

[Queenie]

Most of the time I tell people that whatever they are suggesting doesn't work for my hair. Or sometimes, I'm not interested in making my hair look like the style they are trying to recommend. (Usually because it would involve daily curling irons).

 

[adrienne0914]

this was funny!! /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif

[ QUOTE ]
Why? you have been using it and washing your hair 2wce a month forever and your hair is thin...full of dandruff and not even neck length...WHY WOULD I LISTEN TO YOU!

[/ QUOTE ]


i still get all kinds of advice from jacked. in one ear and out the other for me too!!

 

[good2uuuu]

[ QUOTE ]
a friend of mine tried to make jokes about my hair when i wore it down last week. she had the nerve to grab my hair and say" oh no, you need to do something, your hair looks a mess" i was dumbfounded cause this chic wears a pony tail every day with hardly any hair sticking out of it. i didnt say anything though. why bother?

[/ QUOTE ]

See, had she grabbed my hair, she wouldda been phony-ponyless in a heartbeat. You're good for letting that one go....lol!

 

[ChildlikeEmpress]

...Jheri curl? /images/graemlins/look.gif

Erm, anyway, thankfully, I haven't had this problem yet. It's actually kind of the opposite: nearly every natural I run into (and a few permies) asks me questions about my hair. "What do you put in it? What do you do to it? Is it completely natural?" It's a little awkward and one woman REALLY didn't want to believe me when I said my hair wasn't texturized or something ("How do you make it curly like that?" "Um... I put water in it." "What?"), but I'm learning to take it in stride.

~Rochelle. /images/graemlins/Rose.gif

 

[Guest]

That lady is /images/graemlins/nuts.gif

However, this post is /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif

 

[ccd]

Take it as a sign that your hair is looking so good she doesnt know what to with herself but give so called advice...I think really thats a defense thing for people whos hair doesnt look that good...then next to you they are like...whoa I gotta say something.....

The way you told your story is hilarious.....Keep up the good work!!

(please excuse the typo...my keyboard is acting up ...no apostrophe!!!!****)

 

[dina32]

I get the same response whenever I wear my hair down (which is very rarely). I get all kinds of folks runnin out the woodworks saying things like I should "do" my hair more often or (get this) that I "look better" with my hair down./images/graemlins/huh.gif When I come back to work the next day with my usual bun, there is a collective "See I knew you would have that tired lookin bun in again!"

But what kills me is the ones who, just like you said Fallon, want to offer me all this advice on how to "do" my hair. My favorite is this chick who sits in the desk behind me whose edges are all ate out from bad relaxers and too tight braids and who has always has a row of peas in her kitchen area. Homey told me that my hair was looking "extra dry" this particular day and I should try using VASELINE, cuz this is what she uses! I just giggled.

 

[Falon]

Homegirl was too through with me yesterday when I came in and my hair wasn't out again....she was like "I do my hair every night and you need to start taking the time to do yours" Yes ya'll she WENT there.

Like I said she is an older lady and I just don't have the heart to tell her off.

She was like "You have nice hair and your always wearing a bun or a braid (I do a french braid sometimes) and I like long flowing hair and all you need to do it bump it a little and go"

No point in trying to explain to her that the reason my hair is getting "nice" is because I DON'T do it every night and I don't bump it every day.

Ah well, if she hasn't learned at this point she never will.

 

[EXSQUISIT]

What's even worse is when you have a friend who saw your hair grow over the last 5 years and what methods you used and has even tried a few of your methods and still has the audacity to tell you what to do with your child's hair. /images/graemlins/hammer.gif

 

[Tracy]

Hm. I'd tell her *** off. Read her all kinds of riot acts. Falon, you're a saint.

 

[Sharpened]

Have you kindly told her you do not wish to discuss anything about hair? If she continues, give her the silent treatment.

 

[Falon]

[ QUOTE ]
Hm. I'd tell her *** off. Read her all kinds of riot acts. Falon, you're a saint.

[/ QUOTE ]

I wish I had the nerve...there is just something about older women that makes me clam up. I feel like I can't be mean to someone who reminds me so much of my mother. But I have decided to simply ignore her.

 

[cutebajangirl]

I find alot of older women use their oldness to be very rude to younger women. They usually get the shock of their old tales when I open my mouth to respond.

 

[atmo718]

I would like to know why ORS Organic Mayo is a bad product?
I used it last night after washing with my Queen Helene Garlic Shampoo. Needless, to say I am no longer shedding and my hair looks great. So if you ladies know something that I don't regarding this da** product that cost me 7.99 please tell me. /images/graemlins/notworthy.gif

 

[Falon]

[ QUOTE ]
I would like to know why ORS Organic Mayo is a bad product?
I used it last night after washing with my Queen Helene Garlic Shampoo. Needless, to say I am no longer shedding and my hair looks great. So if you ladies know something that I don't regarding this da** product that cost me 7.99 please tell me. /images/graemlins/notworthy.gif

[/ QUOTE ]

I haven't tried it so I couldn't say if it was good or not. My point was that who is SHE to recommend anything especially so forcefully since she has been using the product forever-that is what she said- and it has done nothing for her hair. Now if someone from LHCF recommended this product and had the pics to back it up...I would definitely try it at some point.

That is how I discovered a lot of great products that I never would have had the nerve to try before.

 

[Covagirlm]

I might have the best one. I have a 6 and a half month daughter and she goes to the baby sitter every day while im in class. I came to pick her up the other day and to my absolute SHOCK and HORROR. My poor babies beautiful afro was in a whole bunch of tight braids all over her little head. ONLY a black babysitter would do that ish.

 

[jainygirl]

I was told that i should wear my hair down more, and that extra hold spritz would keep my hair looking "right" all day. See....this is why i only ask YOU ladies for advice /images/graemlins/ohwell.gif

 

[Guest]

[ QUOTE ]
I get the same response whenever I wear my hair down (which is very rarely). I get all kinds of folks runnin out the woodworks saying things like I should "do" my hair more often or (get this) that I "look better" with my hair down./images/graemlins/huh.gif When I come back to work the next day with my usual bun, there is a collective "See I knew you would have that tired lookin bun in again!"

But what kills me is the ones who, just like you said Fallon, want to offer me all this advice on how to "do" my hair. My favorite is this chick who sits in the desk behind me whose edges are all ate out from bad relaxers and too tight braids and who has always has a row of peas in her kitchen area. Homey told me that my hair was looking "extra dry" this particular day and I should try using VASELINE, cuz this is what she uses! I just giggled.

[/ QUOTE ]

Stop... /images/graemlins/lachen70.gif Not a row of peas. LOL