GRRRR at "Advice" From Others - You Need to Wear Your Hair Down!

[Alpha Female]

Ugggggh, how does one deal with it? I get sick of the constant 'advice' from people at work that I need to wear my hair down and not up all the time. For the record, I wear it in nice, neat, professional buns mostly (with clips, ornamental hair pins, etc. to help make it more attractive). But every so often, I get the comment from someone about needing to wear my hair down.

Trust me, I wish I could. I think I look & I certainly feel more attractive when my hair is down and swangin' in the wind vs. a bun or other type of up-do! And granted, I get lots of compliments from people at work on the few occasions that I do wear it down. But I'm on a healthy hair, transitioning journey right now, and so I've accepted that I'm going to have to give up on wearing the hair down all the time until I get my hair where I want it to be. But you know you can't explain that to people. That would be like trying to explain to them what your product/hair care reggie is - they just don't want to hear all that. Or they act like they're from another planet, and can't comprehend the concept of what you're trying to do, so after awhile, you don't even bother explaining anymore!

But GRRRRRRR, I get tired of their unsolicited advice! And why is it always the fellow black women/men that feel the need to voice their opinion? At least where I work, most of the white folks know enough to keep their mouth shut, realizing that my personal choice in hairstyles is none of their dang business. But lo & behold, my fellow sistas & brothas think they have the solution to all the social ills of the world (my up-do of which is apparently one)!! Sorry board, I'm on my lunch break in the office, and just decided to vent and get that off my chest after unsolicited advice from an Asian woman today to wear my hair down more often. Now that was a first - just can't win!

 

[SimpleKomplexity]

LOL some people just don't understand. I bet their hair looks like boo boo the fool... smh Just take their uneeded garbage advice, and do exactly what it deserves--trash it.

 

[fluffylocks]

Your hair is probally really pretty to them though. I know right before i found out about haircare i knew a girl that had pretty, thick APL hair and always wore it up----I used to always ask her and tell here that she should wear it down. Because in my mind she was lucky to have all of that hair, and i knew if i had it i would be flaunting it, so i was wondering why she wasnt. (That girl was a member here.....Yeah, telling me all she did was never brush her hair and use coconut oil )

 

[chicacanella]

Your hair is probally really pretty to them though. I know right before i found out about haircare i knew a girl that had pretty, thick APL hair and always wore it up----I used to always ask her and tell here that she should wear it down. Because in my mind she was lucky to have all of that hair, and i knew if i had it i would be flaunting it, so i was wondering why she wasnt. (That girl was a member here.....Yeah, telling me all she did was never brush her hair and use coconut oil )

Uh-uh! You know pre-LHCF your eyes would have been glazing over if she gave her regi.

Girl: Yeah, I deep condition once a week, use heat once a month, co-wash once a week-

Fluffy: What's co-wash?

Girl: Oh, it is when you wash with a conditioner and-

Fluffy: Um, I think the teacher is about to start class.

 

[brittanynic16]

If you think it looks nice down why get upset at people who agree with you?

 

[fluffylocks]

Uh-uh! You know pre-LHCF your eyes would have been glazing over if she gave her regi.

Girl: Yeah, I deep condition once a week, use heat once a month, co-wash once a week-

Fluffy: What's co-wash?

Girl: Oh, it is when you wash with a conditioner and-

Fluffy: Um, I think the teacher is about to start class.

Your right, your right But for-real, i was grilling that girl----How often do you wash your hair? What do you use? Where do you get your oil from? Has your hair always been this long?

......It was probally you.

 

[Evazhair]

I ignore such comments. My mother will be telling me in a few weeks that I need to wear a rollerset using small rollers. I only wear loose spiral waves or flexirods, and I'ma keep my ends protected.

 

[TLC1020]

I get that a lot also especially from coworkers, I just say thank you and keep moving.. I'm hair obsessed so I'm always looking at other women hair.. The women at my job ALWAYS wear their hair down even now that its winter but they question why I always wear my hair in a bun, some of their hair is shoulder length and others have shorter lengths..

I feel sexy when my hair is down as well that's why I wear it down right after I do my touch-up but when I have newgrowth I will do braidouts when I don't want a bun... Seeing all the progress that I've made wearing my hair in protective styles I just look at them and smile b/c next year I will be rocking BSL then right around the corner I will be MBL..

Ugggggh, how does one deal with it? I get sick of the constant 'advice' from people at work that I need to wear my hair down and not up all the time. For the record, I wear it in nice, neat, professional buns mostly (with clips, ornamental hair pins, etc. to help make it more attractive). But every so often, I get the comment from someone about needing to wear my hair down.

Trust me, I wish I could. I think I look & I certainly feel more attractive when my hair is down and swangin' in the wind vs. a bun or other type of up-do! And granted, I get lots of compliments from people at work on the few occasions that I do wear it down. But I'm on a healthy hair, transitioning journey right now, and so I've accepted that I'm going to have to give up on wearing the hair down all the time until I get my hair where I want it to be. But you know you can't explain that to people. That would be like trying to explain to them what your product/hair care reggie is - they just don't want to hear all that. Or they act like they're from another planet, and can't comprehend the concept of what you're trying to do, so after awhile, you don't even bother explaining anymore!

But GRRRRRRR, I get tired of their unsolicited advice! And why is it always the fellow black women/men that feel the need to voice their opinion? At least where I work, most of the white folks know enough to keep their mouth shut, realizing that my personal choice in hairstyles is none of their dang business. But lo & behold, my fellow sistas & brothas think they have the solution to all the social ills of the world (my up-do of which is apparently one)!! Sorry board, I'm on my lunch break in the office, and just decided to vent and get that off my chest after unsolicited advice from an Asian woman today to wear my hair down more often. Now that was a first - just can't win!

 

[daniemoy]

My best friend has beautiful hair and always has. When we were in high school she never wore it down. It was always in a ponytail. Funny thing I don't think she knew that she was doing something beneficial for her hair....And I used to be the main one telling her to wear it down ....Now I know better.... Knowledge is power LOL

 

[glamazon386]

Just tell them to mind their own damn business. People were always telling me to wear my hair out and when I got ready, I did. I didn't pay them any mind. Now when people see my hair out they're like . Your hair is growing! And I'm like I know! They're in shock. Considering I had 2 inches of hair this time last year, it's come a long way. I knew what I was doing.

 

[MizAvalon]

Now see, this where the hair snob in me comes out because these little "advice givers" make me sick! Unless you have longer and/or prettier hair than mine, then you have NOTHING to say to me about my hair. I mean did it ever occur to you that my hair looks this way because I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING?erplexed

Keep your stupid "advice" to yourself!

 

[Isis]

Personally, I have not given unsolicited advice to anyone about their hair--it's their business. I only compliment and admire when I see beautiful hair.

In my experience, it seems that black people in the U.S. are generally more hair obsessed than other races, probably because of all the myths and misinformation passed from generation to generation. It's common to hear comments and unsolicited advice about one's hair from black coworkers at the workplace, especially when your hair is starting to look good. Beautiful, healthy hair on a black female attracts attention, which can include unsolicited advice.

 

[Cinnabuns]

I get those comments every now and then from my mother (not people on the job because I work with men). I just say, "Hey mom I love you but go fly a kite.: Then we both laugh

 

[silverlotus]

Just smile, nod, & continue to bun. I get this from my cousin a lot now b/c we hang out every day. When I finally did wear my hair down, she seemed to enjoy it more than I did .

I would never consider changing my hairstyle for just a coworker, though. They need to keep their "advice" to themselves.

 

[HoneyDew]

You could just say in a nice and professional tone, "I prefer to wear my hair up." and then keep on moving.

People are ALWAYS going to give advice, suggestions, or whatever and not just about hair. You have to be able to just confidently let people know YOUR preferences. They will leave you alone.

 

[TLC1020]

Dang..... I couldn't said it better myself

Now see, this where the hair snob in me comes out because these little "advice givers" make me sick! Unless you have longer and/or prettier hair than mine, then you have NOTHING to say to me about my hair. I mean did it ever occur to you that my hair looks this way because I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING?erplexed

Keep your stupid "advice" to yourself!

 

[Hair Iam]

Now see, this where the hair snob in me comes out because these little "advice givers" make me sick! Unless you have longer and/or prettier hair than mine, then you have NOTHING to say to me about my hair. I mean did it ever occur to you that my hair looks this way because I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING?erplexed

Preach it sister

 

[KiSseS03]

LOL some people just don't understand. I bet their hair looks like boo boo the fool... smh Just take their uneeded garbage advice, and do exactly what it deserves--trash it.

Nothing really important to add, but the bolded made me, literally, LOL!

 

[Sugar Brown]

You could just say in a nice and professional tone, "I prefer to wear my hair up." and then keep on moving.

People are ALWAYS going to give advice, suggestions, or whatever and not just about hair. You have to be able to just confidently let people know YOUR preferences. They will leave you alone.

don't know what your co-worker's tone was, but i take this sort of thing as a compliment and keep it moving. it's easy enough to change the subject.

 

[Zsazsa6275]

I get that at my job, too. Especially since I used to always wear it straightened when I first started working there. I now wear it curly and pulled back most of the time.

I don't have a problem with someone saying my hair looks nice. Even if it's only when it's straightened and worn down. I can accept that. But don't tell me to wear it like that more often. I try telling myself not everyone is ready for nappy hair.

I'm getting real close to hurting someone's feelings if they keep telling me that. Someone is gonna catch me on a bad day and get TOLD!

 

[wheezy807]

ITA just smile, nod and keep it moving. I remember a patient told me, " ya know you should really wear your hair down more often, why don't you?" I just told her some b.s. like it's so much easier to put it in a bun and i'm used to it like that. I always get that question. It used to get to me in the beginning but unfortunately at this point i've been there and heard that (amongst other things) so it doesn't bother me anymore.

 

[ladylibra]

i just quickly educate people as to why i don't do what they want me to do. after i straightened my hair, one black girl at work asked me why i didn't just wear my hair straight all the time. i was like, "are you kidding me? humidity would make it poof in an instant, plus it would be rubbing on my clothes all the time and breaking off! you know how fragile our hair is!"

that shut her up! and you know what else... she has started wearing her shoulder-length hair up more often. so maybe i planted a seed...

don't get into your whole routine or long-winded reasons, they lose interest and don't hear what you're saying. also tie it in with something they already know, as if they just didn't think of it that way before. that's the best way to get people to think they thought of the idea themselves.

no i was not a psych major... :lachen

 

[chicacanella]

Your right, your right But for-real, i was grilling that girl----How often do you wash your hair? What do you use? Where do you get your oil from? Has your hair always been this long?

......It was probally you.

LOL! "How many questions does it take to get to the center of a LHCF member's true regimine? The world will never know!"

But it wasn't me and even so, I probably wouldn't have told you cause' most women aren't really interested.

 

[chicacanella]

I get that a lot also especially from coworkers, I just say thank you and keep moving.. I'm hair obsessed so I'm always looking at other women hair.. The women at my job ALWAYS wear their hair down even now that its winter but they question why I always wear my hair in a bun, some of their hair is shoulder length and others have shorter lengths..

I feel sexy when my hair is down as well that's why I wear it down right after I do my touch-up but when I have newgrowth I will do braidouts when I don't want a bun... Seeing all the progress that I've made wearing my hair in protective styles I just look at them and smile b/c next year I will be rocking BSL then right around the corner I will be MBL..

I know that's right girl! I am wearing corn rows right now to continue my hair journey and because, well, it's super easy!

 

[chicacanella]

Just tell them to mind their own damn business. People were always telling me to wear my hair out and when I got ready, I did. I didn't pay them any mind. Now when people see my hair out they're like . Your hair is growing! And I'm like I know! They're in shock. Considering I had 2 inches of hair this time last year, it's come a long way. I knew what I was doing.

Yes, you do girl! But you know what would really be a shame, if you would have been trying to grow it out and it would've still been the same length. Now that would've been wrong.

 

[MissLawyerLady]

DH commented just this morning "you do all that stuff to your hair and just put it back up". He's been saying that for years now. Even before I came to LHCF I was a bunning/donut/pin it up sista! But I told him today, "that's the whole point- I put it up to protect it from all this wind and ice!"

(He really should know by now!)

 

[neonbright]

Girl do not let those people tell you how you should wear you hair. I usually wear my hair down, but time to time I get a great up do or just do a low pony when it time to wash or my hair is getting on my nerves.

Most people ask me why I do that and I say. When they pay to get my hair done like Oprah's does everyday and I will do what they like.