Time and Money wasted? Long Hair doesn't look good on me.

Evolving78

Well-Known Member
my husband loves me with short hair, i get a lot of compliments and men in face with short hair. long hair makes me look like a little kid and it really doesn't do anything for me, but i have never had long hair natural, so i'm growing it to experience how that would feel.
 

Leeda.the.Paladin

Well-Known Member
I personally wouldn't care what everyone else thought. If I liked long hair, that's what I would wear. They might like it, but they are not the ones who have to live with your hair. You obviously want longer hair since you've spent so much time and energy on it. I wouldn't worry about it.
 

Thiends

New Member
You and I are in the same position. I look nice with long hair, but I look divine, exotic, striking, and gorgeous with short hair (those are all adjectives used to describe me when I wear my hair in a short-looking style). I am in a serious quandry because over two feet of hair is a lot to cut off. I, too, have thought of buying a short wig.
 

BostonMaria

Well-Known Member
LOL! The picture of the wig is so nothing special. It's was $16.00 wig!!!!! I have no idea what caused me to buy it other than it was cheap and it had a slight bang which I was looking for at the time. In person and on me it looks NOTHING like the picture. Seriously.... But here it is.... don't laugh or judge...

CocoBunny do you always wear wigs? Or is your family complimenting you on this particular wig compared to your REAL hair? Because (and I'm totally guessing here) I wonder if they think this short wig looks more realistic than the other wigs you just showed us.
 

FutureMD

New Member
I think my own hair looked a lot better when I started getting layers and getting it cut shorter. Like WAY better. I look at pictures and there was no comparison. And I had really thick, healthy, relaxed hair. Now I have natural hair and I think my hair looks good big and around my face rather than straightened and down my back and get a LOT of great compliments from people who haven't seen me in a while, and last saw me with long relaxed hair. I don't feel conflicted b/c I agree with them. And yeah, had people saying, what is different, have you been working out, (when sadly at the time I'd gained weight). but yeah, it made THAT much of a difference that I clearly just looked way nicer.

But what is funny is that aren't a lot of people trying to grow hair thinking that everyone is going to think they look so great. Black women in particular seem to think that long hair trumps all else, when in reality, what looks good on any particular woman varies so much. So many women look SO much better with short hair, so I'm not surprised that you are one of them, even without seeing you.

If your goal is to look your best to everyone around you, maybe you should consider a haircut.

So many people think that they are making themselves more beautiful to others by having long hair, and you've just been shown that in your case, you were wrong.
Why should looking your best to everyone suddenly not matter b/c it is hair? If you'd been happy at one weight and then lost 20 lbs and everyone started gushing, would anyone be suggesting that it was silly and you should regain the weight (health issues notwithstanding). So maybe the a better comparison would be a situation where you changed your makeup or your clothes. Most of what we do is hoping/thinking that it makes us attractive to other people.

I'm just saying, there are a lot of long haired people who post their pictures here and other places and the hair doesn't look that great and doesn't do anything for them. Long hair is not always better. Esp. when it is impossible to style, has to shape, and just does nothing to hang.
 

ShaG

Member
Long hair is great. But short hair can be as equally beautiful. Take Halle Berry for instance. When she wears long wigs/weaves no doubt is she still a beautiful woman. But when she wears her signature short pixie cut, she looks absolutley stunning. I feel age has very little to do with it. I think it's all in how a style makes a woman feel, thats what gives her that sexy swagger, and people notice that.
 
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EllePixie

New Member
Are they comparing the short wig with your hair, or with long wigs? Short wigs look more natural than long ones, so maybe that's why it looks better.
 

kellistarr

Well-Known Member
Wow! The short wig is quite a contrast to those over-flowing, lengthy wigs. I've got to go along with your family and friends. The short wig is so darn adorable and, well, truthfully, quite refreshing. Sometimes, that extra long, unrealistic length, no matter how expensive the wig might be, can wear you down and put age on you. I don't always agree with this, but my last statement is one of the reasons that mature women have their hair cut short, for a more youthful appearance. Now, I don't know your age, but it might have been bringing you down.

Women are just all starting to look alike with those long wigs/weaves. That look is just tired to me and transvestite-ish looking. Once sexy, they are no longer, because there is one on every other head. I didn't read the other posts, but if that is you wearing the short wig, you are looking too cute and adorable! It's a keeper.
 

Imani

New Member
I wonder the same thing the other posters asked are they saying the short wig looks better than the longer wigs? or the short wig looks better than ur longer real hair? Because I can understand the former.

As far as longer hair not looking good on everyone, thats definitely possible, I've never liked myself with long hair, BUT I think style plays a part as well. I have a long face so long straight hair is not the business. But I think I could rock apl up to bsl with sideswept bangs and layers with a full sexy roller set look.
 

Fine 4s

Well-Known Member
Cute story.
I know short hair looks good on me as well.
But growing my hair to WL & beyond is more than just how it looks on me...
Short hair is an automatic face lift, I see it everytime in school.
 

CocoBunny

Well-Known Member
Doing the bump!

CocoBunny you haven't answered our questions. Are you wearing those long wigs all the time or your real hair?

Hi Ladies Thank you for all the responses! Usually the only time I wear my own hair is when I am bunning. Usually when I bun I leave a "swoop bang" out pull the rest back, slap in a hair pretty (chopstick, scrunchie,flexi-8) and call it a day.

DD says that when I wear a bun I look very smart (as in intelligent). I think the bun makes me look elegant. My Polish friend with no brain to mouth filter says it makes me look old and boring. DH says things like "it seems like an easy style".

Twice per year I have my transitioning hair professionally flat ironed. I usually don't like the way it looks though because it's so straight and just sort of hangs and the hair for the most part is all one length. I end up wearing down to show my parents, DD and DH and then I pull it up into a bun or put on a wig.

My stylist tried a roller set once but it was waaay to much time in the shop and though it looked full and bouncy I cannot stand how much time it took.


The reaction to my own hair from my family is usually luke warm. They do comment on how much it's grown, my mom always compliments the length and the fact my edges have grown in. DH always say good job and runs his fingers through it. But not once have they ever raved about my hair the way they rave about the short wig.

To be honest the family, friends and co workers never went wild over the long wigs either. I usually got compliments on my outfits, but not specifically on my hair.

As I reflect on the comments, I can only rarely recall anyone actually saying "I like your hair" or "your hair looks nice". Not even when I had in expensive extensions (that broke my hair off) or wore the long virtually undetectable (to the untrained eye) wigs. I just assumed that their compliments included the hair and maybe the hair style MADE the outfit and created a total professional package.

And then along comes this short inexpensive wig and the compliments don't stop. I swear strangers stop me to say how cute my hair is. People who have seen me everyday for years rave about my "hair cut" and ask how long it takes me to get my hair to look like that.:blush:

The comments about looking younger and thinner actually blow me away because if any thing I feel as though I look tired all the time.


The comments and compliments actually make feel incredibly uncomfortable (especially since I don't agree) and I feel like a bit of a fraud, especially at work where no one suspects it's a wig.

A very close friend of mine was going on and on about my hair I said thank you (several times). She told me how brave I was to cut my hair and then she asked if she could have the number to my "new stylist" . At that point I couldn't stand it and confessed. Told her it was a wig. It was incredibly embarrassing and awkward.:blush:

All in all I am just going to deal with it. Continue to alternate between the short wig and buns and call it a day.

DH, DD, parents, friends and coworkers can't all be wrong... Can they?
 
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CocoBunny

Well-Known Member
CocoBunny do you always wear wigs? Or is your family complimenting you on this particular wig compared to your REAL hair? Because (and I'm totally guessing here) I wonder if they think this short wig looks more realistic than the other wigs you just showed us.

I am sure this is the case with my mom. My mom has always commented that she is not a fan of "all that hair". Mine or otherwise.
 

CocoBunny

Well-Known Member
Wow! The short wig is quite a contrast to those over-flowing, lengthy wigs. I've got to go along with your family and friends. The short wig is so darn adorable and, well, truthfully, quite refreshing. Sometimes, that extra long, unrealistic length, no matter how expensive the wig might be, can wear you down and put age on you. I don't always agree with this, but my last statement is one of the reasons that mature women have their hair cut short, for a more youthful appearance. Now, I don't know your age, but it might have been bringing you down.

Women are just all starting to look alike with those long wigs/weaves. That look is just tired to me and transvestite-ish looking. Once sexy, they are no longer, because there is one on every other head. I didn't read the other posts, but if that is you wearing the short wig, you are looking too cute and adorable! It's a keeper.

The picture is not of me. I do have pictures but I cant quite figure out how to post them and blur out my face, plus it would still be hard to judge if long hair or short hair looks better on me with out seeing my features.
 

AvaSpeaks

New Member
It's so weird, I think if more Black women would had longer hair as teenagers and early young aduts (20-35), when we get older, we would have no problem going shorter, because it does make you look younger. It's like we are going backwards because so many of us are starting and getting on our hair journey so late :ohwell:

So I am going to be one of those over 30 year olds with long hair! I think longer, healthy hair pulled up off the neck with a fabu body makes any women look younger and sexier :kiss3:
 

bklynbornNbred

Well-Known Member
What celebrity would you say is your facial shape match? I ask because as others have pointed out not all shapes do well with long hair. There are many people who just look better with shorter styles.

However if you always wear your hair in buns I can see how the short sassy wig blew everyone away. At a certain point you should enjoy your hair not live a life in buns. I wouldn't say its time wasted because your hair is healthy and if you did cut you know you have the knowledge to grow it again. I'm not saying run and cut your hair but if you are growing just to grow and never enjoy it just reassess why. Get a few more wigs in different styles at that length and see how you feel. Healthy hair at any length should be the goal for everyone on this site. Long isn't always better.
 

RegaLady

New Member
Hi Ladies Thank you for all the responses! Usually the only time I wear my own hair is when I am bunning. Usually when I bun I leave a "swoop bang" out pull the rest back, slap in a hair pretty (chopstick, scrunchie,flexi-8) and call it a day.

DD says that when I wear a bun I look very smart (as in intelligent). I think the bun makes me look elegant. My Polish friend with no brain to mouth filter says it makes me look old and boring. DH says things like "it seems like an easy style".

Twice per year I have my transitioning hair professionally flat ironed. I usually don't like the way it looks though because it's so straight and just sort of hangs and the hair for the most part is all one length. I end up wearing down to show my parents, DD and DH and then I pull it up into a bun or put on a wig.

My stylist tried a roller set once but it was waaay to much time in the shop and though it looked full and bouncy I cannot stand how much time it took.


The reaction to my own hair from my family is usually luke warm. They do comment on how much it's grown, my mom always compliments the length and the fact my edges have grown in. DH always say good job and runs his fingers through it. But not once have they ever raved about my hair the way they rave about the short wig.

To be honest the family, friends and co workers never went wild over the long wigs either. I usually got compliments on my outfits, but not specifically on my hair.

As I reflect on the comments, I can only rarely recall anyone actually saying "I like your hair" or "your hair looks nice". Not even when I had in expensive extensions (that broke my hair off) or wore the long virtually undetectable (to the untrained eye) wigs. I just assumed that their compliments included the hair and maybe the hair style MADE the outfit and created a total professional package.

And then along comes this short inexpensive wig and the compliments don't stop. I swear strangers stop me to say how cute my hair is. People who have seen me everyday for years rave about my "hair cut" and ask how long it takes me to get my hair to look like that.:blush:

The comments about looking younger and thinner actually blow me away because if any thing I feel as though I look tired all the time.


The comments and compliments actually make feel incredibly uncomfortable (especially since I don't agree) and I feel like a bit of a fraud, especially at work where no one suspects it's a wig.

A very close friend of mine was going on and on about my hair I said thank you (several times). She told me how brave I was to cut my hair and then she asked if she could have the number to my "new stylist" . At that point I couldn't stand it and confessed. Told her it was a wig. It was incredibly embarrassing and awkward.:blush:

All in all I am just going to deal with it. Continue to alternate between the short wig and buns and call it a day.

DH, DD, parents, friends and coworkers can't all be wrong... Can they?

Very interesting, this is me too.:ohwell: In fact, your whole post is making me rethink why am I here:lol:. I believe people should wear their hair for themselves, not for other people. But once people start to compliment you on a certain style or length, it is hard to part from what they say you look best in. If they loved and raved about your long hair, how would you feel? Would you so proudly display your long hair?

I will be honest, of the women I see here and IRL who have real long hair, I am hardly impressed with what I see. And lets not talk about weaves and wigs:ohwell:. Sometimes the hair itself is cute, but not on the person. Sometimes I am in just awe that someone could grow that much hair, but the style hardly compliments the face:look:. As long as you can find something that can compliment your face, you are fine.
 

CocoBunny

Well-Known Member
What celebrity would you say is your facial shape match? I ask because as others have pointed out not all shapes do well with long hair. There are many people who just look better with shorter styles.

However if you always wear your hair in buns I can see how the short sassy wig blew everyone away. At a certain point you should enjoy your hair not live a life in buns. I wouldn't say its time wasted because your hair is healthy and if you did cut you know you have the knowledge to grow it again. I'm not saying run and cut your hair but if you are growing just to grow and never enjoy it just reassess why. Get a few more wigs in different styles at that length and see how you feel. Healthy hair at any length should be the goal for everyone on this site. Long isn't always better.

When I was thinner and Oprah was thinner and younger. People would always say that I looked like Oprah. When I look in the mirror, I never see the resemblance to Oprah, but then again folks now say I look like a young Michelle Obama and I don't think she looks anything like Oprah. So I don't know. In looking at Oprah's pictures, I think she looks better with shorter hair (pic 2) than she does with long curly hair (my favorite hair style on me and everyone else). So if she looks cute in her short hair style maybe I do too?
 

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EbonyCPrincess

Well-Known Member
Though I also believe that short cuts give a more sexy sassy look and can highlight your best facial features and also make u look younger.......

Have you given consideration to the possibilty that persons are reacting to the drastic change that came with the short wig?

In the end its what you want and what you like.

That's exactly what I was thinking. I wouldn't dream of cutting my hair bc of those types of reactions. The same happens to me when I throw on a wig that has a lil blond in it or go from wearing a braidout for weeks to finally going straight. The current wig really isn't THAT short IMO to validate thinking you look better with short hair, I was expecting a stacked bob or something. If you worked hard to grow your hair and prefer it that way, keep the wig as an alternative and then let your real hair down! I bet if you wore the short wig for a couple months when you go back to your hair you'll get the same reaction.
 

brucebettye

New Member
Don't feel bad. I just cut my hair shorter in the back so my natural hair looks like a bob and I love the way it looks. I may grow my hair longer or may not. I came to this hair board to have healthy hair and I am not concerned on how long it will grow. Every time I reach apl I cut my hair. I think I have some cutting hair issues. But if you enjoy your long hair don't let anyone tell you to cut it off. That is what that short wig is for.
 

Aspire

New Member
Don't feel bad. I just cut my hair shorter in the back so my natural hair looks like a bob and I love the way it looks. I may grow my hair longer or may not. I came to this hair board to have healthy hair and I am not concerned on how long it will grow. Every time I reach apl I cut my hair. I think I have some cutting hair issues. But if you enjoy your long hair don't let anyone tell you to cut it off. That is what that short wig is for.

Ditto ^^^^^

I have to admit though, my face wears short hair VERY well. I realize that as my hair grows out it is just not as attractive at one length in the front. So I cut in bangs and some layers. Much, MUCH, better. Your hair does not have to be one length to SHOW that you have length. Layers are more sophisticated on women whereas long hair of one length looks good on girls, teens, and co-eds. This is JMO of course, but my layers and bangs freshen up my buns, chignons, and ponies. And when I am feeling really girly I pin curl or wet set the front, comb into soft curls and pin up the back. It helps make me less severe and DH can still run his fingers through the front and pull the back *wink*. That my hair is "longer than average" is still pretty obvious and the curls advertise its health.

But whatever you do, do it for YOU and no one else.
 

Carrie A

Well-Known Member
The short haired wig looks lighter due to layers, more natural, and the model has bangs which in general make you look younger. The longer wigs are quite heavy and weighted at the bottom and frankly wiggish. There are no layers or bangs. Your own long natural hair probably looks better than the wigs. But major style changes will usually get a good response.
 
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Bnster

New Member
I think the compliments come from there is a drastic change in you. They never saw you with short hair and in awe that you would go short. Also maybe now they see more of your face soften with short waves than your buns. Some changes make people more to take notice. Plus it looks like they believed you cut your own hair on top of that and are curious to find out if that is the case. Compliment and get the answer or during the compliment time take more notice in your hair to figure it out. I am sure you look good with long and well as with short hair.

However with your long hair you, like me, don't bother to do something more with it (afraid of styling damage). Bun and go with your real hair. Your alternatives are with your long wigs which they are used to seeing you with. Now a short one they will stand up and take notice. Enjoy your long hair and I need to take that advice as well. I lack in styling my APL hair which is not long compare to yours. :lol:
 

BostonMaria

Well-Known Member
I guess my next question is - if you cut your real hair will it look like that wig? If its not, I'd continue with your healthy hair journey. I have a cute bob and its adorable. If I cut my hair I'll have a cute little afro, certainly not that bob LOL
 

CocoBunny

Well-Known Member
I guess my next question is - if you cut your real hair will it look like that wig? If its not, I'd continue with your healthy hair journey. I have a cute bob and its adorable. If I cut my hair I'll have a cute little afro, certainly not that bob LOL

LOL! No amount of product, manipulation, heat or threats could get my hair to look like that wig. Reason #2 why I wont cut my hair.
 
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