Teacher loses job at Christian school because she's pregnant OOW

[Shimmie]

Seems they would treat all evidence of sexual-type sin equally, but I guess there is just no way to know. Sigh.

But how do you know that they don't. This Ministry being sued. How do you know that they don't treat 'all' sexual sins equally.

Come on...


No controversy, Just making a point. It's not all Ministries that are biased. Either way this woman is wrong. She had a choice not to get layed... or pregnant. There's no excuse for her situation. It's 2012, I've never in my life seen more condom commercials and styles, shapes and Sizes.... and men lie. They ask for jumbos when they know they're petites... Maybe he lost it or something. Bottomline, it's still her mistake not anyone else's...

She knew what the risk was...

 

[Blairx0]

But how do you know that they don't. This Ministry being sued. How do you know that they don't treat 'all' sexual sins equally.

Come on...


No controversy, Just making a point. It's not all Ministries that are biased. Either way this woman is wrong. She had a choice not to get layed... or pregnant. There's no excuse for her situation. It's 2012, I've never in my life seen more condom commercials and styles, shapes and Sizes.... and men lie. They ask for jumbos when they know they're petites... Maybe he lost it or something. Bottomline, it's still her mistake not anyone else's...

She knew what the risk was...

No disagreement. She made her choice--such is the life. I was just wondering if the school took all evidence equally. I was more so interested in the evidence as in a child or pregnancy. I'm just nosy and though I have my own objections know she got what she signed up for; plain and simple.

 

[Lucia]

I agree.

Her anger is misappropriated. Again I have to ask: Where's the Father of her baby? Why hasn't he stepped up to the plate, for he sure indeed ate what she was serving him from it. Homeboy needs to be a man and take care of his child and the mother.

She should have made 'him' sign a contract before becoming sexually active with him.

She needs to have a strict motto:

No wed, No bed.... No contract, No contact... Fool you done heard what I said.

TRUTH! SAY IT AGAIN!!

 

[Lucia]

I agree, though against my own liking, she is doomed by the fine print. Though I never post here, I can't resit asking does that mean they will not hire women who have child/children out of wedlock?

Thankfully I work at a public school!

IMO the policy would stand because it would be common knowledge that they have kids, and then of course the topic of them being married or not would come up. Again it would violate the minister/morality clause. Now if the OOW thing was in their past and they are now married, they would just keep that past OOW part quiet or apply for a job that doesn't hold them to such "strict" standards of moral conduct.

 

[frida1980]

You guys are missing parts of the story. Her "baby daddy" is actually her fiancé. They were going to get married but after a series of unfortunate events they postponed it. She offered to get married but they fired her anyway. She's not some sleeze that up and got pregnant. Furthermore, if her fiancé doesn't have health insurance then she may as well not get married. All they've done is make us front a huge medical bill and force her child to be born out of wedlock.

I hop she can find a job soon, but pregnant women can't find jobs in this economy. I think the Christian thing to do would have been to keep her health insurance so the child could be born safely.

 

[CoilyFields]

You guys are missing parts of the story. Her "baby daddy" is actually her fiancé. They were going to get married but after a series of unfortunate events they postponed it. She offered to get married but they fired her anyway. She's not some sleeze that up and got pregnant. Furthermore, if her fiancé doesn't have health insurance then she may as well not get married. All they've done is make us front a huge medical bill and force her child to be born out of wedlock.

I hop she can find a job soon, but pregnant women can't find jobs in this economy. I think the Christian thing to do would have been to keep her health insurance so the child could be born safely.

Fiance does not equal husband. Sex was supposed to come after marriage so how close they were to getting married doesn't make it not a sin.
And the job should not be held responsible for her health insurance any more than cobra already makes provision for. They aren't responsible for her sin nor the consequences that ensue due to her own decision.
Would you hold any other business responsible to that extent or is it because its a religious based org?

 

[Lucia]

You guys are missing parts of the story. Her "baby daddy" is actually her fiancé. They were going to get married but after a series of unfortunate events they postponed it. She offered to get married but they fired her anyway. She's not some sleeze that up and got pregnant. Furthermore, if her fiancé doesn't have health insurance then she may as well not get married. All they've done is make us front a huge medical bill and force her child to be born out of wedlock.

I hop she can find a job soon, but pregnant women can't find jobs in this economy. I think the Christian thing to do would have been to keep her health insurance so the child could be born safely.

Nobody here called her a sleeze or anything like that, but being engaged is not married, period. So it doesn't make her pregnancy legitimate she's still a baby mama OOW until they make that commitment step. I'm so tired of people trying to excuse their behavior by pointing the finger blaming someone or something else flipping the script manipulating sympathy for their problems that they caused and not owning up to their own mistakes and bad decisions.

We live in a day and age where someone can get wasted on alcohol and drugs, crash their car beat their mate half to death, mistreat their children, shave their head, curse out their boss publicly and turn around and say hey it's not my fault it's the drugs, it's the situation, my childhood I'm going to counseling rehab, feel sorry for me, yada yada. Do you hear violins, I do. (ahem:Britney, Lindsay, Charlie, Chris B) When they should own up and say hey I took that stuff, I did that nobody forced me and everything that happened was manifested from a series of bad decisions THAT I MADE. and stop being punks about it.

Now have you ever heard the saying don't do things that make you look bad. She made herself appear to be a person of loose morals why? because even if she didn't act like a spring break freak, she has the same outcome which makes her look like that's what she is, so that's what she will be treated as.

Well if she was engaged that makes it worse that they postponed it cause the damage is done mostly to her as we are seeing. She's the one to show and she's the one to brunt all of this not him, we all know that's the way it is and her fiancé should have stepped up and married her ASAP since that's what they were going to do anyways. Her attitude that they should keep her on is not going to work because this is not what they want their school to represent to the children or to the world.

They should have gone to the courthouse or just the 2 of them or their parents to the church and done it before she started to show. Knowing that she's in that predicament they should have forgoed the big wedding plans and such and just gotten it taken care of.

I hope she finds a job, and that so called fiancé steps up and acts like a man by taking care of his responsibilities by that I mean marry her, take care of her and his yet to be born child and protect her from taking on more of the blame that he should have taken on with her from the start instead of hiding like a wimp behind her skirt. They both made a mistake and now they are suffering the consequences, they're adults and they should have thought this through.

 

[Shimmie]

You guys are missing parts of the story. Her "baby daddy" is actually her fiancé. They were going to get married but after a series of unfortunate events they postponed it. She offered to get married but they fired her anyway. She's not some sleeze that up and got pregnant. Furthermore, if her fiancé doesn't have health insurance then she may as well not get married. All they've done is make us front a huge medical bill and force her child to be born out of wedlock.

I hop she can find a job soon, but pregnant women can't find jobs in this economy. I think the Christian thing to do would have been to keep her health insurance so the child could be born safely.

I don't believe anyone is calling her a sleeze. It's simply not the School's responsibility to take the blame for what she and her fiance' chose to do, which they both had no business doing in the first place, which is having premarital sex.

All of this 'we were gonna get married, but now we can't.... is a pail of hooey dooey. The unfortunate events haven't stopped them from living together. Get Married in Chambers (the private Chambers of their Pastor or that of a Judge) and move on in life.

This man ain't cripple; as a matter of fact as long as he's above six feet (not buried underground) and breathing, he can work and obtain insurance for him, and his family. The same body that got her pregnant can work to take care of her and their baby.

Instead of taking responsibility for their own actions, they are blaming folks who had absolutely nothing to do with their actions which lead to her pregnancy.

That school did not lead them into temptation; that school did not push them into sexual sin. There is absolutely nothing stopping this man from taking care of his responsibility. As the saying goes, "handle your business".

I met my first husband when I was 15 years old. And yeah... I got pregnant. The first thing my mother told me was "You made your bed, now sleep in it." For years prior, both she and my father gave me the 'talk'. To guard and protect my virtue. Did I listen? Obviously I didn't.

I was a young teen and we got married. Both of our parents had to 'sign' for us to get married for he was not of age. The rest is history. Was I suppose to sue my mother when she gave me fair warning to keep myself chaste before marriage? No! I was a kid but I still knew better.

These people in this case are FULL GROWN and they are not babies or teens. They know better. They are going to have to sleep in the bed they have made and get over it.

Their complaints against the school are not valid. I don't want to hear it. Folks need to step up and account for their irresponsibilities. Who wants a man who's not man enough to say, "Baby, we WILL make this work. We were careless and now I have to be man enough to take responsibility for our family which we have made. We have no right to sue someone for what we did against ourselves.

My former husband (God rest his soul), he was a teen but he still stepped up and chose to marry me and did his best to make it work. We were never hungry... I still have full healthy skin to prove it.

All I'm trying to say is that it's still the responsibility of both of these adults to take care of themselves, not this school who has nothing to do with their life choices. That's all.

No controversy towards you... :Rose:

 

[Shimmie]

Nobody here called her a sleeze or anything like that, but being engaged is not married, period. So it doesn't make her pregnancy legitimate she's still a baby mama OOW until they make that commitment step. I'm so tired of people trying to excuse their behavior by pointing the finger blaming someone or something else flipping the script manipulating sympathy for their problems that they caused and not owning up to their own mistakes and bad decisions.

We live in a day and age where someone can get wasted on alcohol and drugs, crash their car beat their mate half to death, mistreat their children, shave their head, curse out their boss publicly and turn around and say hey it's not my fault it's the drugs, it's the situation, my childhood I'm going to counseling rehab, feel sorry for me, yada yada. Do you hear violins, I do. (ahem:Britney, Lindsay, Charlie, Chris B) When they should own up and say hey I took that stuff, I did that nobody forced me and everything that happened was manifested from a series of bad decisions THAT I MADE. and stop being punks about it.
Now have you ever heard the saying don't do things that make you look bad. She made herself appear to be a person of loose morals why? because even if she didn't act like a spring break freak, she has the same outcome which makes her look like that's what she is, so that's what she will be treated as.

Well if she was engaged that makes it worse that they postponed it cause the damage is done mostly to her as we are seeing. She's the one to show and she's the one to brunt all of this not him, we all know that's the way it is and her fiancé should have stepped up and married her ASAP since that's what they were going to do anyways. Her they should accept this attitude and keep her on is not going to work because this is not what they want their school to represent to the children.
They should have gone to the courthouse or just the 2 of them or their parents to the church and done it before she started to show. Knowing that she's in that predicament they should have forgoed the big wedding plans and such and just gotten it taken care of.

I hope she finds a job, and that so called fiancé steps up and acts like a man by taking care of his responsibilities by that I mean marry her, take care of her and his yet to be born child and protect her from taking on more of the blame that he should have shared with her instead of hiding. They both made a mistake and now they are suffering the consequences, they're adults and they should have thought this through.

I just read your post... thank you for saying it first...

 

[dicapr]

The school is within its legal rights. But this is the type of "christian" behavior that makes non-believers scratch their head. I don't know how a organization thinks that firing a woman leaving her in a situation where she has difficulty taking care of her child is the right course of action. Plus the teacher offered a biblical solution-get married. But still, they felt the need to throw stones and make an example of her. They could have easily suspended her without pay until she married. While the teacher's actions were not good for a role model, neither was the administration's action. Both parties are WRONG !!!

 

[Shimmie]

TRUTH! SAY IT AGAIN!!

Girl, I only wear diamonds.

 

[Lucia]

The school is within its legal rights. But this is the type of "christian" behavior that makes non-believers scratch their head. I don't know how a organization thinks that firing a woman leaving her in a situation where she has difficulty taking care of her child is the right course of action. Plus the teacher offered a biblical solution-get married. But still, they felt the need to throw stones and make an example of her. They could have easily suspended her without pay until she married. While the teacher's actions were not good for a role model, neither was the administration's action. Both parties are WRONG !!!

I don't think the school was wrong, they clearly put in writing what was expected of her and she choose to ignore it. (pun intended) By letting the situation get ahead of her. She choose to wait and show then expected no one to say anything about it.
You have a point, they could have suspended her without pay, true, it would have made her not visible to children and curiosity and solved part of the problem. Only if they had not had the morality clause as part of the hiring contract but only a set of employee rules. She signed the contract and the morality clause was in there and she should have read it, and taken it seriously. For the record employers can fire you if they feel the problem is too big to "suspend" so they don't have to deal with you anymore it's their right it's called at will employment/termination. It can be done without a contract clause, the company employee handbook rules, policy, procedures is enough to base it on even if it's not in a contract.

 

[Galadriel]

The school is within its legal rights. But this is the type of "christian" behavior that makes non-believers scratch their head. I don't know how a organization thinks that firing a woman leaving her in a situation where she has difficulty taking care of her child is the right course of action. Plus the teacher offered a biblical solution-get married. But still, they felt the need to throw stones and make an example of her. They could have easily suspended her without pay until she married. While the teacher's actions were not good for a role model, neither was the administration's action. Both parties are WRONG !!!

If she signed a morality clause and violated it, then it's within the school's rights to discipline or fire as it sees fit. There are also religious colleges and universities that have not only employees sign morality clauses, but also the students who attend.

I attended a religious private university. Dude, I had to sign a morality clause (that included no dancing ). If the woman didn't agree or didn't take it seriously, she should've thought about it before signing the contract.

 

[BostonMaria]

I think this is a very sad situation. Its going to be hard for her to seek employment while being pregnant. I don't condone what she did but as a mom and Christian I can't help but feel sorry for her.

 

[Galadriel]

I think this is a very sad situation. Its going to be hard for her to seek employment while being pregnant. I don't condone what she did but as a mom and Christian I can't help but feel sorry for her.

I feel badly about the situation as well (especially with this crappy economy, who wants to see anyone lose a job?), but she signed that contract knowing it would be enforced. Her and her fiance could've gone down to the courthouse to make it legal and waited later for a big wedding/church wedding. If she had actually been living according to the contract and (I'm assuming) her Christian principles, she wouldn't be in this situation to begin with.

The school is not responsible for her child, her and her fiance are.

 

[FlyyBohemian]

It was her choice to teach there so she should have acted according to standard. I've turned down a position in church before because I knew I wasn't ready. People should have enough integrity to do the same.

 

[FlyyBohemian]

Ignore this post

 

[FlyyBohemian]

A part of me sympathizes with her and her fiance because there are so many people having sex in the church. Unfortunately she got caught in a bad situation. Remember ladies, getting pregnant ain't a sin. It's just proof that you've been sinning...and admit it. A lot of us in the church have been sinning. My thing is the school has a duty to God and the parents paying that extra tuition to adhere to standard. I wish that woman and her fiancé the best. I repeat. There are some jobs that you can turn down. If it was so important for her to teach at a Christian school then she should have adhered to the rules.

 

[Shimmie]

I agree, though against my own liking, she is doomed by the fine print. Though I never post here, I can't resit asking does that mean they will not hire women who have child/children out of wedlock?

Thankfully I work at a public school!

If these women are no longer having premarital sex, or living with someone as if they were married, but they are not.... then they would be able to qualify. It's the life we live that speaks representation. I'll tell you, being in public school is no saving grace for anything goes and it's dangerous. No restraint is the god that's ruling the public school system.

The problem is that God has a standard and it's not to harm us but to protect us. Even the married employees have to live up to the morality clause. They cannot be in sexual sin; no adultery, pornography, etc. It's not acceptable. So it's not just this woman. It's anyone who fails to live up to the moral standards God has called us to. In the book of Timothy, God's Word is clear on how we are to live, those of us who represent the Ministry.

 

[Shimmie]

A part of me sympathizes with her and her fiance because there are so many people having sex in the church. Unfortunately she got caught in a bad situation. Remember ladies, getting pregnant ain't a sin. It's just proof that you've been sinning...and admit it. A lot of us in the church have been sinning. My thing is the school has a duty to God and the parents paying that extra tuition to adhere to standard. I wish that woman and her fiancé the best. I repeat. There are some jobs that you can turn down. If it was so important for her to teach at a Christian school then she should have adhered to the rules.

Truth and compassion is flowing from your post...

Thank you.

 

[dicapr]

If she signed a morality clause and violated it, then it's within the school's rights to discipline or fire as it sees fit. There are also religious colleges and universities that have not only employees sign morality clauses, but also the students who attend.

I attended a religious private university. Dude, I had to sign a morality clause (that included no dancing ). If the woman didn't agree or didn't take it seriously, she should've thought about it before signing the contract.

I agree that the school is with their legal rights. But the higher morality that we as Christians are held to is what is at issue here. Yes it is legally right but is it morally right? Somehow I have trouble envisioning Christ throw out a woman and her child because she made a mistake even though she admitted fault. As someone pointed out earlier she could have secretly wed and covered up her sin but yet she chose to come clean. I just can't say I feel right morally about their decision.

 

[CoilyFields]

^^^I would say the higher morality clause would be the word of God. I gave the example earlier of Eli and his sons. God straight killed them for their violation of the priestly position He had given them. Then we have the example of Jesus stopping the crowd from stoning the woman caught in adultery. Some situations call for mercy and others call for immediate punishment. The school thought it was within their (and the childrens) best interest to cut her completely off and there is nothing morally wrong with that. From her reaction in the article it didnt seem like she was completely repentant and taking responsibility for her actions...otherwise she wouldnt be suing nor saying that there could be a different interpretation of morality (forreal?).

Christ isnt throwing this woman and her child out...her sin is putting her in a position of uncomfortability (which is the purpose of chestizement-along with reconciliation). This isn't a case of a callous unfeeling Christian school kicking out a destitute woman with nowhere to turn living on the streets 9 months pregnant. Lets not paint that picture. This woman will have all of the standard benefits extended to people who are fired in america (unemployment, free prenatal health care, food stamps, WIC, rental/mortgage assistance, utitlity assistance, employment assistance etc.) many of which are founded by Christian organizations. And there is the childs father...

 

[FlyyBohemian]

^^^I would say the higher morality clause would be the word of God. I gave the example earlier of Eli and his sons. God straight killed them for their violation of the priestly position He had given them. Then we have the example of Jesus stopping the crowd from stoning the woman caught in adultery. Some situations call for mercy and others call for immediate punishment. The school thought it was within their (and the childrens) best interest to cut her completely off and there is nothing morally wrong with that. From her reaction in the article it didnt seem like she was completely repentant and taking responsibility for her actions...otherwise she wouldnt be suing nor saying that there could be a different interpretation of morality (forreal?).

Christ isnt throwing this woman and her child out...her sin is putting her in a position of uncomfortability (which is the purpose of chestizement-along with reconciliation). This isn't a case of a callous unfeeling Christian school kicking out a destitute woman with nowhere to turn living on the streets 9 months pregnant. Lets not paint that picture. This woman will have all of the standard benefits extended to people who are fired in america (unemployment, free prenatal health care, food stamps, WIC, rental/mortgage assistance, utitlity assistance, employment assistance etc.) many of which are founded by Christian organizations. And there is the childs father...

She could also try getting a job at an inner city school district.

 

[Shimmie]

I agree that the school is with their legal rights. But the higher morality that we as Christians are held to is what is at issue here. Yes it is legally right but is it morally right? Somehow I have trouble envisioning Christ throw out a woman and her child because she made a mistake even though she admitted fault.

As someone pointed out earlier she could have secretly wed and covered up her sin but yet she chose to come clean. I just can't say I feel right morally about their decision.

She didn't come 'clean' until she began to show.

As for getting married 'secretly'... that's just a lie; just plain deception to try and cover up what was already done. God's not fooled.

The moral thing to do would have been for 'her' to come clean the very moment she and her fiance were having premarital sex. God's word is clear, "Your sin will find you out.". You cannot cover sin. This woman has violated the morality clause in several counts by her own choosing.

Since when are we as Christians supposed to drop to the world's lax attitude with morals? What has occurred is HER doing, not the school's. Instead of taking the school for a fool, thinking she could live the way she wanted to knowing it was inappropriate, is her doing. Being pregnant is not the sin, it's her choice of living outside of what she signed to live up to.

I want to know who does the world think they are to judge morals? This earth is falling by wayside more rapidly each day. God is not hating on this woman and neither is the school. They have to maintain a standard of living and I truly do not appreciate this innocent baby being used as a pawn for her to have her way and to also blaze a trail for others who oppose moral standards to start suing Ministries for doing what God has called them to do.

Her choice was clear, it was hidden. If she chose to live a different lifestyle, then she should have resigned a long time ago and sought employment elsewhere. She's learning a lesson here. God is not changing just to accommodate those who chose to live against His set order. Who does she think she is to sue God for what she knows is wrong in the first place.

She needs to hammer down on the man she's pregnant by and make him pay for his responsibility. How dare they put this on someone else who had nothing to do with their choice.

I hope this man is not a kang... depending upon HER to provide when it should be HIM. If he's joined her in this case, he's a straight up Kang and that is just shameful. He should be out taking care of his family and not wasting time blaming someone else for what he and she chose to do.

Put the blame where it belongs which is not upon this Christian Ministry.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Shimmie

If I could hit the thanks button a 1,000 times I would!!

This was her job, not her church. She knew the agreement clause she signed. Now if she was raped and got preggie, then thats different. But she laid down knowing the consquences of her actions. So when she was doing the "do" her job wasn't on her mind, so the school should break their policies because she feels wronged??

No, if the school lets down, you gone see more preggie teachers and maybe even students. If I was a parent, PAYING tution for my child and this was going on in the school, I would be upset. Parents pay for private school to get what the public school can't offer, especially a Christian school at that.

Now I am not saying she is rejected of God. Hopefully she turns away from her fornication...but as for as the job

Put the blame where it belongs which is not upon this Christian Ministry.

 

[Laela]

------ @ Shimmie, just read your posts....

This really is about personal accountability and consequences of one's own choices... we all go through this.

 

[Shimmie]

Shimmie

If I could hit the thanks button a 1,000 times I would!!

This was her job, not her church. She knew the agreement clause she signed. Now if she was raped and got preggie, then thats different. But she laid down knowing the consquences of her actions.

So when she was doing the "do" her job wasn't on her mind, so the school should break their policies because she feels wronged??

No, if the school lets down, you gone see more preggie teachers and maybe even students. If I was a parent, PAYING tution for my child and this was going on in the school, I would be upset. Parents pay for private school to get what the public school can't offer, especially a Christian school at that.

Now I am not saying she is rejected of God. Hopefully she turns away from her fornication...but as for as the job

That's the point, Christian parents want Christian education for their children. The public school system is a mess and it's the right of Christian schools and parents to guard our children from it. Why should any parent pay for the sins of the world? There has to be a marked distinction.

Where I live there are separate buses taking the Jewish children to their separate schools. They have their separate holidays and separate instruction which is Biblically based (Isaiah 54:13). They have a separate mandate and curriculum for their instructors and it better be followed. Would she sue them? I don't think so... yet folks want to single out Christians as the bad guys.

Jesus said, go and sin no more. She's still with her boyfriend... unmarried. That finance' title doesn't hold water or juice. They should be married and taking responsibility for their baby.

 

[Shimmie]

------ @ Shimmie, just read your posts....

This really is about personal accountability and consequences of one's own choices... we all go through this.

Yes mamm, It is most definitely about accountability and we all go through it.

I taught in two Christian schools and was leader of our Sunday School for 12 years in my first Church. Everyone there had to be oriented to the standards of living.

This included the Ministry of Helps (volunteers); Deacons, Associate Pastors, everyone who was a part of the Ministry had to take the class which explained accountability and we each signed the Morality agreement. It was listed and clear what we were held accountable to for we were ambassadors and Ministers and people looked to us as leaders.

I feel badly for this woman, not because she's pregnant... Because she doesn't believe she violated her contract; that she did nothing wrong. And that she's with a man who is not taking care of her and their baby.

 

[Laela]

That's the root of the matter right there...and I guess what has been bothering me. She is angry with their decision and hasn't even accepted any of her footprint in all this. It's ALL the school's fault..them and that "morality clause" of theirs..

I feel badly for this woman, not because she's pregnant... Because she doesn't believe she violated her contract; that she did nothing wrong. And that she's with a man who is not taking care of her and their baby.

 

[Shimmie]

That's the root of the matter right there...and I guess what has been bothering me. She is angry with their decision and hasn't even accepted any of her footprint in all this. It's ALL the school's fault..them and that "morality clause" of theirs..

It bothers me also that folks are trying to put a negative smear on Christians. It's the same old retort over and over depicting Christians as villians.

Is this how Christians treat folks? Is this what Jesus would do?

And THAT's what I call truly wrong. She's 'playing' with this as if she's been kicked out in the cold, barefoot, helpless and pregnant... how cruel of Christians to do so.

Really?

I can guarantee that Christians are supporting her; just not as a leader in the school. None of them feel good about this. It's a very sad situation.