OP, I agree with the posts about using the scarf, some product and wet hair... I wet bun my hair every morning.. But she's smooth.. like real smooth and my texture is a lot like yours. I dont know what you feel about CO washing, but you dont actually have to do that. You can spray your hair with water and wet it, put on some condish to leave in and castor oil on top (castor oil is kinda thick, so it's great for making the hair lay down). Brush your hair back into the bun and then tie it down with a scarf kinda tight. Let it stay that way til you get outside of work and take it off. You should be fine. I think buns ARE for you, but you could definitely perfect your technique. It's rather easy to do this, and may I suggest you practice today and tomorrow and see what you can come up with. IMHO, i would not advise using gel. Most gels are drying and damage the hair. While you want a better style, I'm sure you want to maintain the health of your hair. Another thing I've been doing lately as well as once I put the hair in the ponytail holder (ouchless, seamless holder), I then braid the hair and then wrap it around the holder, making sure I tuck in the end. It looks sleek adn nice, and very pretty. I always get compliments and my edges be on point! Bless you sis, I know it's hard to hear such harsh comments, and honestly, they could have used some diplomacy and tact, but you know--some people lack that... We can be gentle with each other but honest... Also, if you should decide to try this, repost another pic cause I wanna see your progress... I know for sure you can do it!
Be encouraged,
T
ETA: I know some discourage against wet brushing, but using a soft brush and going slowly will help you not rip through your hair and tear up your cuticle. Im very gentle when I do it and my hair is fine--and trust, I have very delicate hair... It likes to fall apart if you look at it too hard