Relaxing should be your last and final option. I wish my mom would have waited before putting one in my hair. I got mine put in when I was 8 years old at a salon. Im 18 years old now and have no real clue to what my natural hair looks and feels like. Im scared to to cut it all off and go natural. Even when I try to transition, the straight shiny hair hanging from my head keeps pulling me back to a relaxer. But I really like curly hair. There has to be another technique you can try. Keep searching please. Also ask your daughter what she wants. I never had a choice in it. If there is no other option atleast know that you aren't the only one that wants it.
Help me! My dilemma with my daughter's hair.
- Thread starter neet4
- Start date
Miss*Tress
Well-Known Member
You're right to be terrified. One of my cousins was 10 years old when she spent the weekend at our aunt's home. She went there Friday as a natural and was sent home Sunday with a relaxer! Your sister-in-law may not be a nutter (like my aunt), but still be wary of letting your daughter spend extended amounts of time with her - like more than two hours. Seriously. Good luck.Spidergul said:I too feel pressure from one of my husbands sisters. I am terrified that she will perm my daughters hair behind my back!
Miss*Tress
Well-Known Member
To the OP, I hated when my mom washed and combed my hair too. To this day, I have memories of my head hurting all day on shampoo Saturday. Turns out I wasn't tender headed after all - Mom was just too rough. I spent about a year in Jamaica where my Grandma's neighbor took care of my hair. I was never scared to get a shampoo or have my hair combed when that lady was doing it.
All this to say, try to be as gentle as possible. If you already are, be even gentler.
All this to say, try to be as gentle as possible. If you already are, be even gentler.
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My daughter has texlaxed hair and she's 6 years old. This was a life saver for me. I have not found it to be difficult at all. I wash and condition her hair once - twice a week and her hair is mid back length. I texlax every 4 months or when she has a good amount of new growth.
I'm not advising to relax or not relax but do what best for you and your daughters.
I'm not advising to relax or not relax but do what best for you and your daughters.
Lucia
Well-Known Member
ITA I think your daughters hair needs extra moisture, and grease doesn't work well with eveyone, sometimes grease just makes your hair dryer by blocking out the moisture the hair needs.
Scurl, some essential oils like jojoba, or monoi they are light but the hair and scalp absorb them well so they do what they are supposed to. Maybe you should give up shampoos altogether, some people's hair does extremely well with just conditioner washings=use a good cheapie conditioner sometimes you can add an oil wash her hair with that then rinse, and then deep conditioning treatment if your only washing 1/week. conditioner wash is form the curlygirl book.
If you want to PM me I mix up a great super deep conditoner and I'll send you the recipe. hth
Scurl, some essential oils like jojoba, or monoi they are light but the hair and scalp absorb them well so they do what they are supposed to. Maybe you should give up shampoos altogether, some people's hair does extremely well with just conditioner washings=use a good cheapie conditioner sometimes you can add an oil wash her hair with that then rinse, and then deep conditioning treatment if your only washing 1/week. conditioner wash is form the curlygirl book.
If you want to PM me I mix up a great super deep conditoner and I'll send you the recipe. hth
~*~ShopAholic~*~
Well-Known Member
You'll need a very moisturizing conditioner that you know works, add some honey and oil to the mix and deep condition atleast once a wk. I would start out DC 2x's a wk. after shampooing w/a very moisturizing poo. I like nexxus Therappee and Humectress, but Cream Of Nature is inexpensive and alot of pple like it, and Shea butter Cholesterol.
mrsv said:I wish I had checked thsi site a week ago. I JUSTput a Vigirol in my daughter's hair, and yes it is extremely dry. Now that I've done it, are there any suggestions as in what to use to add moisture
erplexed ?
InNeedofHairapy
New Member
I'm glad you decided to hold off on the relaxer. My mom relaxed my hair when I was 12, and I wish she hadn't. My mother was trying to do the best thing for us at the time, but I'm sure if she knew better ways to take care of my hair (she does not, and doesn't need to relax hers) I think she would have chosen them over a relaxer.
~*~ShopAholic~*~
Well-Known Member
things that I've used and like, Humectress, NTM Silk Touch leave in, BB Cator oil lotion and a little oil to seal in the moisture Africa's Best has one that good and inexpensive you should be able to find this stuff at Wal-mart. Let us know how it goes.
One of my older cousins (20yrs) uses Vigorol, and for some reason her hair doesn't seem dry when she uses it. i know she condition washes alot in the summer so that may help also. She flip flops back and forth btwn natural and Vigorol.
One of my older cousins (20yrs) uses Vigorol, and for some reason her hair doesn't seem dry when she uses it. i know she condition washes alot in the summer so that may help also. She flip flops back and forth btwn natural and Vigorol.
mrsv said:
This is an update since I last posted about wanting to relax my daughter's hair.
Well, I took both my 3 year old and 7 year old's hair down from being braided for the past 2 weeks. Their hair was dry and hard. I am definitely guilty of cornrowing their hair and not putting anything on it (moisturizer, etc.) until I am ready to comb it again. I really needed to wash their hair yesterday, but I was pushed for time so I used S curl spray and my Olive & Honey Hydrating Balm from Qhemet. Today, one of my 3 year old's plaits came loose and I was surprised, actually shocked, at how soft it felt. I expected it to feel dry and rough. Maybe I have found the magic combination..... S-curl spray and Qhemet's Olive and Honey Hydrating Balm.
One thing that I have noticed is that some products I have used do not work as well on hair that has just been washed (wet hair). They work better on dry hair. The detangling cream from Qhemet doesn't do as well on wet hair.
When I went to my parent's house for Thanksgiving, my mom asked me if could she put a Vigorol in my 7 year old's hair. I told her no because I have found some things to try that will probably help.
I have made a list of your different suggestions and products to try. I appreciate all of the replies. So, no relaxers for now.
Well, I took both my 3 year old and 7 year old's hair down from being braided for the past 2 weeks. Their hair was dry and hard. I am definitely guilty of cornrowing their hair and not putting anything on it (moisturizer, etc.) until I am ready to comb it again. I really needed to wash their hair yesterday, but I was pushed for time so I used S curl spray and my Olive & Honey Hydrating Balm from Qhemet. Today, one of my 3 year old's plaits came loose and I was surprised, actually shocked, at how soft it felt. I expected it to feel dry and rough. Maybe I have found the magic combination..... S-curl spray and Qhemet's Olive and Honey Hydrating Balm.
One thing that I have noticed is that some products I have used do not work as well on hair that has just been washed (wet hair). They work better on dry hair. The detangling cream from Qhemet doesn't do as well on wet hair.
When I went to my parent's house for Thanksgiving, my mom asked me if could she put a Vigorol in my 7 year old's hair. I told her no because I have found some things to try that will probably help.
I have made a list of your different suggestions and products to try. I appreciate all of the replies. So, no relaxers for now.
brownbrown
New Member
THE BEST SAVIOR OF NATRUAL HAIR IS NATRUAL HAIR . If your want your baby to have any hair dont put the perm in.
WHAT COMB ARE YOU USING.
TO ALL MOTHERS WE CANT USE REGULAR COMBS ON OUR BABIES AS I CALL IT "GOD GIVEN HAIR" THOSE COMBS ARE SIMPLE NOT MADE FOR US.
YOU MUST ALWAYS ALWAYS USE A WIDE TOOTH COMB ON THE BABIES HAIR.
I WORE MY "GOD GIVEN HAIR" FOR 11/2YRS.UNFORTUNETLY WEAKING OUT FOR A MAN AND PUTTING THE PERM BACK IN. A YEAR IN A HALF MY HAIR GROW FROM NOT EVEN PAST MY TEMPLE BONE A PAST MY SHOULDERS. IN A YEAR IN A HALF.
BLACK HAIR is not nappy (not bashing) but honestly really tight curls which gets tight every time u dont touch it. So SECTIONS is key. After washing before you do anything ( I put some type of leave in) put her hair in sections before it drys.
I do a pre-poo also for her.
I put the same effort into my hair as I do hers.
believe you me she will have more hair later in life if you DO NOT put the perm in.
AND SOMEONE MENTIONED THE COMMENTS ON HER HAIR CAN HURT HER SELF ESTEEM..........DONT ALLOW NO ONE ELSE DONT SAY NEGATIVE THINGS EITHER
WHAT COMB ARE YOU USING.
TO ALL MOTHERS WE CANT USE REGULAR COMBS ON OUR BABIES AS I CALL IT "GOD GIVEN HAIR" THOSE COMBS ARE SIMPLE NOT MADE FOR US.
YOU MUST ALWAYS ALWAYS USE A WIDE TOOTH COMB ON THE BABIES HAIR.
I WORE MY "GOD GIVEN HAIR" FOR 11/2YRS.UNFORTUNETLY WEAKING OUT FOR A MAN AND PUTTING THE PERM BACK IN. A YEAR IN A HALF MY HAIR GROW FROM NOT EVEN PAST MY TEMPLE BONE A PAST MY SHOULDERS. IN A YEAR IN A HALF.
BLACK HAIR is not nappy (not bashing) but honestly really tight curls which gets tight every time u dont touch it. So SECTIONS is key. After washing before you do anything ( I put some type of leave in) put her hair in sections before it drys.
I do a pre-poo also for her.
I put the same effort into my hair as I do hers.
believe you me she will have more hair later in life if you DO NOT put the perm in.
AND SOMEONE MENTIONED THE COMMENTS ON HER HAIR CAN HURT HER SELF ESTEEM..........DONT ALLOW NO ONE ELSE DONT SAY NEGATIVE THINGS EITHER
~*~ShopAholic~*~
Well-Known Member
So glad to hear that everyone is having sucess w/these new suggestions, .
@ mrsv- make sure you moisturize everynight for a few weeks, even if you have braids in you can just rub it btwn you hands and then smooth it over the braids. After awhile you should be able to moisturized every other day or every 3 days.
. @ mrsv- make sure you moisturize everynight for a few weeks, even if you have braids in you can just rub it btwn you hands and then smooth it over the braids. After awhile you should be able to moisturized every other day or every 3 days.
mrsv said:
brownbrown
New Member
Satin pillowcases can also help with the dryness. My baby's hair was getting dry also. Gettin off that cotton pillowcase helps too.
I'm happy about your decision. Later on in life they will be happy too
I'm happy about your decision. Later on in life they will be happy too
brownbrown
New Member
ONE MORE THING
I FOUND OUT HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MY "GOD GIVEN HAIR" THRU A FEW BOOKS .THIS WAS ABOUT 6YEARS AGO
BUT I WILL FIND OUT THEN NAMES AND LET YOU KNOW
I FOUND OUT HOW TO TAKE CARE OF MY "GOD GIVEN HAIR" THRU A FEW BOOKS .THIS WAS ABOUT 6YEARS AGO
BUT I WILL FIND OUT THEN NAMES AND LET YOU KNOW
I understand the wash day dilemma. I would suggest washing and conditioning her hair in loose plaits or cornrows. Put a few drops of shampoo in a large bowl and scoop out the soapy water and pour it on the hair. This way the plaits aren’t super soapy but the hair and scalp are getting cleansed. Squeeze the plaits to cleanse the hair and circulate soap through the hair. Rinse completely. Remove the plait and add a hydrating conditioner and re-plait the hair and cover hair with a plastic cap to deep condition. Rinse completely after a ½ hour or longer if you like. Allow the plaits to air dry partially before trying to manipulate it. When you wash this way the hair is already sectioned off and not tangled. I got this idea from www.growafrohairlong.com
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