Hey there, Sweetiepie! I read this and am surprised to read that you are "struggling to find an identity." It's not that I think you don't know yourself better than we do. You do. I do think, however, that you are responding to your feelings about his answer. Please don't ket your momentary feelings trick you into thinking you have not found your identity.
You have a very clear and evident identity on this hair board, and you express yourself very clearly on a regular basis, regardless of who agrees or disagrees. I don't think identity is the issue at all.
I think you just love your husband and want him to be happy with you and how you look. This is normal. I am the exact same way; however, I do not let my husband's like or dislikes dictate my "identity." His likes DO dictate my habits/actions from day to day, but not who I am
inside. It's the same for you, beautiful lady.
If hubby likes the Michelle Obama look, get a pic of her from a magazine, frame it, and hang it where he can look at her hair. lol Make it a teeny tiny joke - if his personality can handle that and won't view it as being a smartypants. Then go ahead and
do you in all your God-given glory. Or...you can also Sabino your hair more regularly so he can see the straight look. Either way - whether you make light of it or change one of your behaviors - don't doubt who you are, precious one. (Am I chanelling Shimmie today, or what??
) What he said was a tad insensitive; my husband does it all the time unintentionally. He's just being honest without regard for how the words might affect you. No harm intended, I can almost promise you...and it's not a statement about the health of your marriage either, which I am sure you already know as well. He's just being a man.
Samantha, you have a strong, well-informed, helpful, powerful identity. I think LHCF allows us to be who we
would be in the rest of our lives if we did not allow other concerns to creep in unawares. Be encouraged and know that you are exactly who God made you to be at all times, hubby's input and affirmations or not. You are beautiful, the apple of Gods eye, worth far more that rubies, fearfully and wonderfully made, precious, unique...and the list goes on and on.
Be encouraged, beautiful woman, to eat the meat and spit out the bones...
Hair and sister Love,
In Christ,
Christi