My New SO Doesn't Like Straight Hair

[Ediese]

I've been dating a guy for about 3 months, and throughout that time he constantly asked me to wear my own hair. You see, when we first, I was wearing my real hair pulled back in a bun. One of the first things that he said was that he loved my 'pull together look', and that he was able to see my 'true beauty' with my hair away from my face. Anyway, since I had just met him it was too new to listen to that, so the next day I got it weaved up. For the past months, he kept hinting for me to take out the weave.

I finally took out the weave on Saturday about 2.5 months later, and I must say that he has been so HAPPY. He especially LOVES that my hair is natural (well about 98% but you can't tell). He said that he looked over at my hair when my back was turned, and just couldnt' help smiling. Umm..might be tmi, but it also helped him get ready for round 2 last night because it turned him on so much. Yep..

Last night at dinner, I mentioned that he needs to tell me when the xmas parties are so I can get my hair straightened because it'll only last about a week. He looked at me like I was crazy, and said "Straighten?! Why? No!" I said, "well, I thought it'd fit better with the event, and I thought he'd like to see it straight and long". He repeatedly told me that he DOES NOT want to see it straight. He loves the buns, and prefers it that way. He says that he likes to see the texture, and my hair pulled back from my face. I was so happy to hear that because that's the only style I do when I don't wear sew-ins. Of course, I'm still going to straighten it sometimes, but at least I don't have to worry about being with someone that doesn't love my natural hair texture.

Has anyone had similar experiences? I know I read about SO/DH that had problems in the beginning with natural hair, or people that had to stop transitioning because of this. I'm so happy that's not the case with him. My sister's husband feels totally different about it. I wonder what can help turn that around.

 

[PreciousPearl]

You have a very supportive SO that loves your natural beauty.

 

[tallnomad]

I like him!

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I've been dating a guy for about 3 months, and throughout that time he constantly asked me to wear my own hair. You see, when we first, I was wearing my real hair pulled back in a bun. One of the first things that he said was that he loved my 'pull together look', and that he was able to see my 'true beauty' with my hair away from my face. Anyway, since I had just met him it was too new to listen to that, so the next day I got it weaved up. For the past months, he kept hinting for me to take out the weave.

I finally took out the weave on Saturday about 2.5 months later, and I must say that he has been so HAPPY. He especially LOVES that my hair is natural (well about 98% but you can't tell). He said that he looked over at my hair when my back was turned, and just couldnt' help smiling. Umm..might be tmi, but it also helped him get ready for round 2 last night because it turned him on so much. Yep..

Last night at dinner, I mentioned that he needs to tell me when the xmas parties are so I can get my hair straightened because it'll only last about a week. He looked at me like I was crazy, and said "Straighten?! Why? No!" I said, "well, I thought it'd fit better with the event, and I thought he'd like to see it straight and long". He repeatedly told me that he DOES NOT want to see it straight. . He says that he likes to see the texture, and my hair pulled back froHe loves the buns, and prefers it that waym my face. I was so happy to hear that because that's the only style I do when I don't wear sew-ins. Of course, I'm still going to straighten it sometimes, but at least I don't have to worry about being with someone that doesn't love my natural hair texture.

I'm so happy you found someone to accept you for you, your natural hair and all.

The bolded sections is exactly how my husband feels. He loves my hair pulled back. I don't get it. I thought the hairstyles men hated most were pulled back bun hairstyles, but my husband has told me on several occassions that it's his favorite.

Also, like your SO, my husband does not like my hair straight. He like my natural hair so much better, and told me straight hair doesn't compliment meerplexed.

I guess you found someone in which you don't have to do a lot to please him

 

[ClassicChic]

That's good that your beau likes your natural hair.

Off topic..........

I see that you wear Extensions Plus relaxed texture weaves for your installs. Does this hair have a silky look to it? I am a natural 4b and I am currently wearing a sew-in. For my next install I want to purchase some quality hair. I want the hair to have a straight pressed look to it but not silky....know what I mean?

 

[Ediese]

I'm so happy you found someone to accept you for you, your natural hair and all.

The bolded sections is exactly how my husband feels. He loves my hair pulled back. I don't get it. I thought the hairstyles men hated most were pulled back bun hairstyles, but my husband has told me on several occassions that it's his favorite.

Also, like your SO, my husband does not like my hair straight. He like my natural hair so much better, and told me straight hair doesn't compliment meerplexed.

I guess you found someone in which you don't have to do a lot to please him

Exactly! I'm so happy too! I was already planning on keeping him around, now this makes me like him even more!

 

[BostonMaria]

Phew I wish it were that simple for all of us!

Maybe express to him in a very nice way that you like to have a little more variety in your hair styles. Is he of another race? I'm going to assume yes. Its very flattering that he likes your true texture. Tell him in a way that won't offend him, but at the same time won't make you feel less desirable to him if you want to change it up.

I love to see my husband BALD. I'm talking Bruce Willis BALD LOL But he prefers his hair in an afro or in braids. Whatever. I like to see him clean cut, but whatever I'm not going to argue with him. I guess you can try to look at it from his perspective, especially since he met you that way. Some guys don't like weaves. To me my hair is mine so don't comment LOL But that's sweet that you want to at least meet him half way. Hope he's a keeper! And have fun at the party!!!

P.S. Yes that was TMI lachen:

 

[Ediese]

That good that your beau likes your natural hair.

Off topic..........

I see that you wear Extensions Plus relaxed texture weaves for your installs. Does this hair have a silky look to it? I am a natural 4b and I am currently wearing a sew-in. For my next install I want to purchase some quality hair. I want the hair to has a straight pressed look to it but not silky....know what I mean?

Nope! It's not silky AT ALL. Trust me, it's more coarse. It will blend perfectly with 4a or 4b hair. It looks like your hair pressed straight.

 

[Blossssom]

You have a very supportive SO that loves your natural beauty.

Yes, don't see THAT too often!

Good luck, Edie!

 

[Ediese]

Phew I wish it were that simple for all of us!

Maybe express to him in a very nice way that you like to have a little more variety in your hair styles. Is he of another race? I'm going to assume yes. Its very flattering that he likes your true texture. Tell him in a way that won't offend him, but at the same time won't make you feel less desirable to him if you want to change it up.

I love to see my husband BALD. I'm talking Bruce Willis BALD LOL But he prefers his hair in an afro or in braids. Whatever. I like to see him clean cut, but whatever I'm not going to argue with him. I guess you can try to look at it from his perspective, especially since he met you that way. Some guys don't like weaves. To me my hair is mine so don't comment LOL But that's sweet that you want to at least meet him half way. Hope he's a keeper! And have fun at the party!!!

P.S. Yes that was TMI lachen:

Thanks! Yes, he definitely is a keeper. I just told him that sew-in is my staple protective style. so he'll have to get use to that until I reach my goal.

ETA: Oops..forgot to add that he is a strong, fine piece of chocolate goodness! lol

 

[Toy]

Aw! He is a sweet guy.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I hate to be the libra and weigh all sides, but what if you wanted it straight? He dissaproves? So then you have to be pulled back in a bun? what if you want it down? I think the fact that he loves your hair is wonderful. I don't know about the "Specifics" of him not just embracing whatever you do with your hair. You should be able to wear it natural, weave it, relax it or whatever and he should be supportive no matter what. Because then you are "stuck" doing whatever he wants FOREVER, or else face his dissaproval and rejection.

 

[ClassicChic]

Ediese, I sent you a PM.

 

[ladylibra]

My SO prefers my natural coils too. He says he doesn't mind my bun, but lemme tell ya i was getting "the look" all day on Thanksgiving and um... "Adult situations" followed when we got home.

 

[Southernbella.]

Hmm, can't relate.

I think that's great.

 

[FluffyRed]

That's cool! you have beautiful hair

 

[Southernbella.]

I hate to be the libra and weigh all sides, but what if you wanted it straight? He dissaproves? So then you have to be pulled back in a bun? what if you want it down? I think the fact that he loves your hair is wonderful. I don't know about the "Specifics" of him not just embracing whatever you do with your hair. You should be able to wear it natural, weave it, relax it or whatever and he should be supportive no matter what. Because then you are "stuck" doing whatever he wants FOREVER, or else face his dissaproval and rejection.

Good point.

 

[Akemi]

Good for you! He sounds like a keeper!

 

[VettaVetta]

I hate to be the libra and weigh all sides, but what if you wanted it straight? He dissaproves? So then you have to be pulled back in a bun? what if you want it down? I think the fact that he loves your hair is wonderful. I don't know about the "Specifics" of him not just embracing whatever you do with your hair. You should be able to wear it natural, weave it, relax it or whatever and he should be supportive no matter what. Because then you are "stuck" doing whatever he wants FOREVER, or else face his dissaproval and rejection.

I second that also, I understand that you care what he thinks BUT when does it stop next he will say he wants you to act a certain way. It's wonderful he likes your natural hair. My question to you is what do you like? if you prefer weave or to wear your hair straight honestly you will stop because he does not like it?

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

I hate to be the libra and weigh all sides, but what if you wanted it straight? He dissaproves? So then you have to be pulled back in a bun? what if you want it down? I think the fact that he loves your hair is wonderful. I don't know about the "Specifics" of him not just embracing whatever you do with your hair. You should be able to wear it natural, weave it, relax it or whatever and he should be supportive no matter what. Because then you are "stuck" doing whatever he wants FOREVER, or else face his dissaproval and rejection.

Oh my goodness!!!! I am a Libra too and this was the FIRST thing I thought after reading the post. I didn't write anything because I thought that it would be taken as a negative...

 

[HappyHairDreams]

I think it's great that he appreciates you naturally the way you are and doesn't think you should have change just for some party. It doesn't seem like he's being pushy about it because if he was he would have been more pushy when you had the weave on for 3 months.

 

[NikStarrr]

My DH is the same way. He definitely prefers my hair in it's natural state or other "textured" styles, i.e. twistouts, braidouts, etc.

 

[spacetygrss]

Sounds like a good guy. As long as it's a preference though and not an expectation (i.e.it's good that he prefers your natural self, but make sure that he understands that it's YOUR hair and you plan to do what you want with it).

My DH loves my natural hair and is not a big fan of it being straightened. He thinks I'm hot either way though.

 

[*fabulosity*]

That's wonderful for you... That shows that he is a good guy! I'm on the other side of the fence. Mine looks at me like WTF every time he sees that Sally's sock bun coming out.. His eyes get huge and glassy when I come back from the salon... somewhat like "there she is... I don't know who that other person was".. Or if I'm going to the gym..which means BUN.. he'll be like wait just one more day before you start looking like Cecily Tyson again... lol.

It's a struggle, but I feel him...

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

That's wonderful for you... That shows that he is a good guy! I'm on the other side of the fence. Mine looks at me like WTF every time he sees that Sally's sock bun coming out.. His eyes get huge and glassy when I come back from the salon... somewhat like "there she is... I don't know who that other person was".. Or if I'm going to the gym..which means BUN.. he'll be like wait just one more day before you start looking like Cecily Tyson again... lol.

It's a struggle, but I feel him...

More info please?

 

[*fabulosity*]

More info please?

Just the foam donu bun "base" if you will. You can get it from Sally's. Forms a perfect circle bun.. you wrap your hair around it.

 

[Ediese]

I hate to be the libra and weigh all sides, but what if you wanted it straight? He dissaproves? So then you have to be pulled back in a bun? what if you want it down? I think the fact that he loves your hair is wonderful. I don't know about the "Specifics" of him not just embracing whatever you do with your hair. You should be able to wear it natural, weave it, relax it or whatever and he should be supportive no matter what. Because then you are "stuck" doing whatever he wants FOREVER, or else face his dissaproval and rejection.

I'm a libra too, so I know what you mean. It is nice that he likes the 'naturalness and style', but trust me...the ultimate style is up to me. We all do have our specific preferences, but I guess as long as it doesn't interfere in what's most important, it's all good.

 

[Ediese]

My SO prefers my natural coils too. He says he doesn't mind my bun, but lemme tell ya i was getting "the look" all day on Thanksgiving and um... "Adult situations" followed when we got home.

The power of natural hair!

 

[loolalooh]

You have a good SO who can appreciate you for you ... hold on to him! My SO also hates my hair straight.

 

[natural2008]

I liikkkkkkkkkkkkkkke him. Girl my SO and I have gotten into it about me wearing my natural hair, because he likes straight hair. I told him oooh well. Now it's growing on him.