Self Virgin Relaxer vs. Risky Salon Vist= HELP!

[femmedusiecle]

Hey guys!!
I have a lot of hair horror history so in short, I'll just say that I have the worst luck with hair stylists that don't listen to me and victimize me in their chair! What set me over the edge was my most recent visit to a high end salon that left my beautiful natural hair severely heat damaged...and I still haven't recovered from it. I've decided to throw in the towel and relax to start anew but I'm SCURRED to death to be wronged by another stylist, albeit BURNING, UNDER/OVERPROCESSING...SCALPING!! I'm scared and I've had enough and I can't afford to continue visiting 487 salons a year only to get jacked up 484 times!
So, I've devised a plan....*Dr. Evil's voice*:
I'm gonna have my fiance help me relax my hair. Before doing it though, we're going to practice using conditioner! We're going to time the process and practice the technique over and over again. I've been doing a lot of research on the forum and on YouTube. I'm not done yet, though.
Do you ladies think I'm nuts? Should I chance it with another salon or bite the bullet and chance it with myself. Please give me your honest, cut throat opinion!!

 

[Luvmycurl]

Most ladies on the forum suggest that you wouldn't self relax but with the horrible experiences you have had I would say watch youtube videos for assistance. Good luck!

 

[mscocopuff]

I would say that if you are really wanting to relax your hair, you are better off going onto one of the threads finding a reputable stylist. I am sure that someone here can help you to find someone that really does care about what you want and is professional. I was lucky enough to grow up in a family of stylist and became one myself at one point. Relaxers are serious business. If you are not already comfortable with it, you have to allow room for mistakes. A relaxer is just not one of those things you want mistakes with. I would suggest that if you have heat damage, to try a Brazilian Keratin Treatment. This can be done fairly easy if you want to try it at home. It washes out after 2-3 months. And the more damaged your hair is, the more dramatic the results. Makes it easier to straighten your hair and makes it more manageable. Hope this helps you!

 

[femmedusiecle]

Thank you guys so much for your replies!! Greatly appreciated =)

 

[Myjourney2009]

Girl get your self in here and on YT do your research and get that relaxer done on your own.

A couple of things if you go at it on your own:
It may take a few relaxer tries before you get it right
do the half half method
know how straight you want to go
know your hairs density all around ( I say this because my hair in the front and back are different densities, thus requires different strengths and processing times to look uniform)
If you have heat damage you are going to have to wait until it grows out or you cut it off

If you choose to go with a stylist:
the other poster was right, choose a stylist based on the reviews of this board.
There is a salon forum go check in there


I did my own virgin relaxer last September it took a while for me to get it to where I wanted but I am happy now

If you have any more questions I will be happy to answer.

 

[lana]

I hope you just baby your hair until it's healthy again. It's always a bad decision to "rush" into a new style or chemical treatment.

So....consider staying natural.

If you decide to relax, research Lye over No-Lye. I highly recommend texlaxing healthy hair with Lye.

 

[mscocopuff]

I hope you just baby your hair until it's healthy again. It's always a bad decision to "rush" into a new style or chemical treatment.

So....consider staying natural.

If you decide to relax, research Lye over No-Lye. I highly recommend texlaxing healthy hair with Lye.

I completely agree. If it is just heat damage, you can still remedy that and retain your natural hair.

If you really want to relax, and you do not want to go to a stylist, I would suggest that you practice and watch as many videos as possible. One thing you don't want is breakage or chemical burns from relaxers. There is a misconception that relaxers are so easy, you just put it in, but it is very important that you understand the chemical.

The relaxer is the strongest chemical that you can put in your hair. Not bleach, not color. I had a relaxer for years, and it is possible to do it on your own, successfully, if you research and see it done enough.

The most important factor would be the strength of the relaxer. Please find out what texure you are (fine, medium, coarse) and purchase your relaxer accordingly. Make sure to base your scalp. Apply it 1/2 inch from the roots to 1/2 from the ends. Then go back and apply it to the roots and the ends. Then you smooth it until the curl pattern has relaxed substantially (but not bone straight). Then you rinse with tepid water until all of the relaxer is out. Use your neutralizing shampoo at least three times (most at home kits have color tinted shampoo i.e. pink = needs more rinsing white = the relaxer is rinsed out). Deep condition afterwards and you will be fine. Just make sure that you are comfortable with doing it.

 

[Myjourney2009]

I completely agree. If it is just heat damage, you can still remedy that and retain your natural hair.

If you really want to relax, and you do not want to go to a stylist, I would suggest that you practice and watch as many videos as possible. One thing you don't want is breakage or chemical burns from relaxers. There is a misconception that relaxers are so easy, you just put it in, but it is very important that you understand the chemical.

The relaxer is the strongest chemical that you can put in your hair. Not bleach, not color. I had a relaxer for years, and it is possible to do it on your own, successfully, if you research and see it done enough.

The most important factor would be the strength of the relaxer. Please find out what texure you are (fine, medium, coarse) and purchase your relaxer accordingly. Make sure to base your scalp. Apply it 1/2 inch from the roots to 1/2 from the ends. Then go back and apply it to the roots and the ends. Then you smooth it until the curl pattern has relaxed substantially (but not bone straight). Then you rinse with tepid water until all of the relaxer is out. Use your neutralizing shampoo at least three times (most at home kits have color tinted shampoo i.e. pink = needs more rinsing white = the relaxer is rinsed out). Deep condition afterwards and you will be fine. Just make sure that you are comfortable with doing it.

Thank you for adding this, I started doing this a few TU's ago and I LOVE IT.

I noticed with water that was pushing hot my scalp would get irritated and if I used water that was not warm enough that same irritation would occur.

I use the same temperature when even washing my hair.

 

[afrikurl]

Sounds like you've done your research, I would be wary of having a man who is not inclined to hair, helping me. Do you have any female friends or family members who are familiar with perms to help you out?
The other thing is that if it doesn't go well, you don't want to blame him or have him be responsible.

 

[imaccami]

Nearly everyone here self relaxes and everyone had to go through it for the first time. I think that practicing with conditioner is a good idea. You should also do a strand test where you time how long the relaxer stays on.

Have realistic expectations, you're not going to have type 1 hair, so you hair will probably be wavy even if you don't texlax. That's the case for everyone which is why nearly everyone here either rollersets or flat irons to get their hair straight.

I highly recomend using lye. Base your scalp, go quickly, and if in doubt rinse it out. It's better to be underprocessed than to have breakage from overprocessing. Rinse, rinse, rinse, and then rinse some more.

I don't know if you can relax heat damaged hair, I think I would be worried about that more than anything else.

 

[Moonpie8]

your not nuts.. sounds like a great plan and you will have caring hands helping you. Great idea to practice with conditioner first! keep us updated with the results

 

[femmedusiecle]

Whew! GREAT advice from all you guys. I see both sides of the coin. I researched a salon in the DMV area called Salon Revive. I'm going to go in for a consultation and keep it real like Dave Chappelle! Haha
I'll take it from there. I really hope I feel comfortable and the stylist listens to my needs with patience and understanding. If all goes well, then i'll proceed there and if not, then off the youtube I go for more lessons! Wish me luck guys and I'll keep you all posted!!!