We are killing our hair....one weave at a time

[LittleLuxe]

At the end of the day it's just hair! I cannot stand that people will look at what another race does and interpret it as a simple cosmetic/beauty reason (like white women and weaves, or white women straightening their hair because YES they do it too - I definitely have known white girls with relaxers. Asian girls too.), then turn around and look at black women and get on their soapbox about self hate and low self esteem. Speak for your dang self, stop trying to speak for an entire group of people. Frankly, it's disgusting and insulting.

NEEDS to be reposted, lol.

I know there are some smart ladies here, but when did they interview every black woman on the planet?

 

[LittleLuxe]

You're absolutely right about all this. Especially the part about the black hair magazines...I just started noticing this recently when I started paying more attention to hair care. There is so much emphasis on heat styling and how to flat iron your hair perfectly, how to use the curling iron, heat this and heat that. Nobody ever mentions acheiving for example, a wavy style with a braidout or bantu knots, but they will be the first ones to push using a crimping iron. Not to mention some of the horrible advice given by some of these so-called "stylists" in the articles telling you to relax every 4-6 weeks! It makes me cringe when I see advice given like this because I think about all the young girls who may be picking up this magazine interested in learning how to care for their own hair and all they're bombarded with is constant heat and overprocessing.

It's really sad that a lot of our community is so misinformed. But then there is the other half that really could care less about hair care and are more interested in a style at the expense of their own hair, slapping a weave on and forgetting what it's attached to. Not a good thing..

I always walked by those magazines before because I never used to care/worry about my hair but ironically when I did start caring for it and had been on LHCF for atleast a month I picked one up thinking "School's starting soon, I can find some more healthy tips and try a few hairstyles.". Well thank goodness I flipped through the mag in the store because I didn't see one useful tip for me. It was all curling irons, excessive heat, terrible products, and bizarre styles. I was genuinely disappointed and that's when I realized I couldn't blame other women anymore.

We don't have the proper information out there for people looking for it. Bantu knots and braid outs are words I never heard before LHCF and even while watching Tyra, Wendy, Oprah while they did an excellent job of doing health topics, body image topics, skincare and aging none of these women were sitting down to go "Black women we need to talk about our hair and how to improve it." Not cool. Most folks will never quite cross the bridge to looking up haircare on the net (I wouldn't even know a forum like this existed if not for looking up hair product reviews).

 

[EllePixie]

I mean...I feel like it's common sense. If you did something to your hair - whether it be straightened it, colored it, wore a wig, weave, braids...whatever...and it messed up your hair, of course you are going to feel insecure about it, regardless of your race. It is true that many women are not educated on how to care for their hair under a wig or weave (which is one of the main reasons I never got a weave b/c I feel like I'd mess my hair up! I'm too scared to go that long without checking on my Izzy.), and that is very unfortunate, but has nothing to do with black women and self esteem. It's a lack of education. Same way a white woman might get a weave or wear a wig after ruining their hair from constant flat ironing or bleach - she most likely feels insecure too, but is anyone going to call her a self hater? Probably not. Everyone has a different hair journey and experience so many are selling themselves short by making these generalizations.

 

[miss cosmic]

is it really that easy to know why someone else does something? someone that you only know from ...er...someone that you just see on the street? are you really so perceptive that just by looking you can tell the exact reason that someone is wearing a wig or a weave? how i wish that i had that kind of skill.
some ladies in this thread are so judgemental about weave-wearers, how do they feel about the misconceptions that abound about women who wear natural hair? such as that they are militant feminists, likely lesbian who have no concern for their appearance? my guess is they claim not to care, that they are worried about the health of their hair and nothing else. if that were so, then why are they so riled up by other people doing as they please on their heads? just because someone does not agree with you does not make them less than you.

yes, weaves can damage hair, so can wigs and relaxers. but then again, it's not everybody who is natural-haired whose hair is healthy and growing long and strong.

to assume you know why anyone wears a weave or a wig or relaxes their hair is to prove a certain amount of bigotry, because you are making assumptions about internals based on externals. thats how wars began - eg. you're darker than i am therefore you must be less intelligent etc etc. bigotry is an ugly thing. it really is. even when it seems benign as it must do when the topic is what you do with your own hair.

how sad that even here, where we all clearly all on the same side when it comes to good hair practises, we can still alienate each other so thoroughly.

 

[Rei]

You're absolutely right about all this. Especially the part about the black hair magazines...I just started noticing this recently when I started paying more attention to hair care. There is so much emphasis on heat styling and how to flat iron your hair perfectly, how to use the curling iron, heat this and heat that. Nobody ever mentions acheiving for example, a wavy style with a braidout or bantu knots, but they will be the first ones to push using a crimping iron. Not to mention some of the horrible advice given by some of these so-called "stylists" in the articles telling you to relax every 4-6 weeks! It makes me cringe when I see advice given like this because I think about all the young girls who may be picking up this magazine interested in learning how to care for their own hair and all they're bombarded with is constant heat and overprocessing.

It's really sad that a lot of our community is so misinformed. But then there is the other half that really could care less about hair care and are more interested in a style at the expense of their own hair, slapping a weave on and forgetting what it's attached to. Not a good thing..

Haha even this is better than the usual...i picked up a hype hair magazine yetersday and it had a picture of beyonce lacefrontin' it up. And the caption was like "To achieve this look, start by washing and conditioning your tresses, then spritz some mousse.." My eyes almost rolled their way out of their sockets

 

[dynamic1]

I mean...I feel like it's common sense. If you did something to your hair - whether it be straightened it, colored it, wore a wig, weave, braids...whatever...and it messed up your hair, of course you are going to feel insecure about it, regardless of your race. It is true that many women are not educated on how to care for their hair under a wig or weave (which is one of the main reasons I never got a weave b/c I feel like I'd mess my hair up! I'm too scared to go that long without checking on my Izzy.), and that is very unfortunate, but has nothing to do with black women and self esteem. It's a lack of education. Same way a white woman might get a weave or wear a wig after ruining their hair from constant flat ironing or bleach - she most likely feels insecure too, but is anyone going to call her a self hater? Probably not. Everyone has a different hair journey and experience so many are selling themselves short by making these generalizations.

I believe some women get caught on the hamster wheel of weave/wig wearing and don't know how to jump off of it. Yes, some don't want to and some are now unable (alopecia). One might get a weave to cover damage...damage it further...keep wearing weave to cover it. IRL this is the story for most of those I know. If I go get a weave tomorrow, people will assume I have damaged hair, no hair or I don't like my own (for whatever reason). I cannot fault them for making that assumption. I remarked jokingly to a stylist that I was getting a weave and she advised against it. She even wears weave occassionally and does great installs. However, she believes women get "caught up in the cycle, stop liking their own hair and neglect it".

I still believe that many weave techniques can do more harm than good, even for many with the best intentions of maintaing their real hair.

We are all making generalizations...most posters know there will always be exceptions to the rule.

 

[MsLizziA]

I mean...I feel like it's common sense. If you did something to your hair - whether it be straightened it, colored it, wore a wig, weave, braids...whatever...and it messed up your hair, of course you are going to feel insecure about it, regardless of your race. It is true that many women are not educated on how to care for their hair under a wig or weave (which is one of the main reasons I never got a weave b/c I feel like I'd mess my hair up! I'm too scared to go that long without checking on my Izzy.), and that is very unfortunate, but has nothing to do with black women and self esteem. It's a lack of education. Same way a white woman might get a weave or wear a wig after ruining their hair from constant flat ironing or bleach - she most likely feels insecure too, but is anyone going to call her a self hater? Probably not. Everyone has a different hair journey and experience so many are selling themselves short by making these generalizations.

Damn u just goin off n this thread

 

[EllePixie]

Damn u just goin off n this thread

LOL hey girl! I just can't stand all the generalizations made about black women...it's like a self fulfilling prophecy and it's damaging...just sayin! Like, I would feel more insecure about what people would think of me wearing a weave rather than how I felt about it or my hair, which makes no sense!

 

[supermodelsonya]

This thread has just turned pathetic. Relaxer bashing. Weave bashing. Getting worked up over things out of your control.

Continue to do you and worry about yourself needs to be on repeat for those in the cheap seats.

 

[JJamiah]

^^^LOL

Elle keepn' it real
SMS your so silly!

 

[$inna-$pice]

Haha even this is better than the usual...i picked up a hype hair magazine yetersday and it had a picture of beyonce lacefrontin' it up. And the caption was like "To achieve this look, start by washing and conditioning your tresses, then spritz some mousse.." My eyes almost rolled their way out of their sockets

Also very true! Almost every ad in those magazines shows a girl sportin' a weave, but yet they wanna advertise a relaxer or show you how to acheive "the same look?!" Yea right..

 

[JJamiah]

^^^ That is true but I have been seeing this for years where they tel lyou how to achieve this look with tactics that aren't even how they achieved it, achiece this wave but this method instead of how they achieved it that is why I stopped picking those magazines up. False crap!

Also Advertising oh She uses Pantene mean while she uses Nexxus

 

[LittleLuxe]

^^^ That is true but I have been seeing this for years where they tel lyou how to achieve this look with tactics that aren't even how they achieved it, achiece this wave but this method instead of how they achieved it that is why I stopped picking those magazines up. False crap!

Also Advertising oh She uses Pantene mean while she uses Nexxus

I feel that way all the time but I remember having a convo with my friend while watching one of those Loreal hair dye commercials.

"Now you know this is stupid. Beyonce strolling around talking about prismatic color...she knows we know that's a weave right?"

"Maybe that's the dye she uses on her weave."

LMAO. I swear truth in advertising is vanishing faster than alcohol exposed to air. Do what makes you feel good and I don't expect you to come out and say "I have a weave" all the time, but at least don't try to sell me hair dye Bey, lol. That's when I gotta side-eye you.

 

[GeauXavi]

**nevermind**

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

**nevermind**

Chile where you been?

This type stuff is reoccurring around here.

 

[e.lauren]

I don't think its the weave. I think its the females and the culture of today. People are just now warming up to natural hair and we have all heard or experienced the perm -gone-wrong stories. They fall into the conveniency of weaves and wigs and never truly invest in learning how to care for their own hair. Thats when it dies, or suffers and it becomes a cycle for some women.

I dont know what to do with my hair --> weave --> my hair broke a lot after this weave, I cant do anything with it now ---> weave/wig -----> IDEFINITELY don't know how to correct this damage --> wig, wig, wig

But I wouldnt blame the wig or the weave. SOme fall down this slippery slope but to me it all comes back to the person.

I agree it is ironic though. Here on the forum, where it seems there are a lot of women, we use weaves and such to protect our hair while outside where they may not have access to the wealth of hundreds of beautiful black women with healthy hair, their weaves just make things worse.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Chile where you been?

This type stuff is reoccurring around here.

Right! Nothing to get worked up about. It happens all the time. lol

 

[~Sparklingflame~]

Right! Nothing to get worked up about. It happens all the time. lol

I do like to engage in the fight from time to time, depending on my mood.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

Actually, we are killing our hair...one relaxer at a time.

But i hear you with the weaves, those are wack too.

Apparently we haven't gotten over the Natural vs. Relaxed Wars.

 

[Millahdoowop]

At the end of the day those of us who wear weaves will continue to do so, those of you who dislike weaves will continue to do so. :ye shrug:

 

[HappilyLiberal]

is it really that easy to know why someone else does something? someone that you only know from ...er...someone that you just see on the street? are you really so perceptive that just by looking you can tell the exact reason that someone is wearing a wig or a weave? how i wish that i had that kind of skill.
some ladies in this thread are so judgemental about weave-wearers, how do they feel about the misconceptions that abound about women who wear natural hair? such as that they are militant feminists, likely lesbian who have no concern for their appearance? my guess is they claim not to care, that they are worried about the health of their hair and nothing else. if that were so, then why are they so riled up by other people doing as they please on their heads? just because someone does not agree with you does not make them less than you.

yes, weaves can damage hair, so can wigs and relaxers. but then again, it's not everybody who is natural-haired whose hair is healthy and growing long and strong.

to assume you know why anyone wears a weave or a wig or relaxes their hair is to prove a certain amount of bigotry, because you are making assumptions about internals based on externals. thats how wars began - eg. you're darker than i am therefore you must be less intelligent etc etc. bigotry is an ugly thing. it really is. even when it seems benign as it must do when the topic is what you do with your own hair.

how sad that even here, where we all clearly all on the same side when it comes to good hair practises, we can still alienate each other so thoroughly.

Because the thanks button wasn't enough...

:notworthy

 

[keelioness]

This thread has just turned pathetic. Relaxer bashing. Weave bashing. Getting worked up over things out of your control.

Continue to do you and worry about yourself needs to be on repeat for those in the cheap seats.

ITA..I had a feeling this thread would b like this when I saw it a couple days ago. My bad for comin in. From now on I'm only going in threads that have to do with Hair care Tips and Product Review Discussion. No one relaxed or natural , weaved or loose has learned anything from this thread. I'm out

 

[Tiye]

The other thread is derailing as well. Two weave bashing threads on the same weekend is challenging. Maybe they should be combined or something ....

 

[SiobhanM]

and i agree with you! i give *side eye* to folks on hair forums preaching that lame a$$ excuse that they gotta get a weave as a protective style so their real hair can grow. It doesn't take a silky hair weave for you to grow longer hair!
... you hiding and disguising your hair just like Laquita on the streets. because you ashamed of what grows out of your scalp.

I wear weaves as a protective style. I for one am not ashamed of my hair. On any given day I can throw on my wig or quick weave and the next day wear my bantu knot out or 2 strand twists.
I love versatility but I love my hair. I actually love the compliments i receive when my hair is natural than when i wear a weave.

But it all comes down to ME. The weave is just easier for ME. Natural styles take a very long time for me to do and I am simply to busy with school and raising my niece.
Please simply do not make generalizations on the whole race because after all we have different stories and reasoning behind our hair methods.

And i think most women mean the weaves help them retain length ( the ones that actually know proper hair care ) not actually grow. I remember when I was younger I always thought I couldnt grow hair. But it was the retention that I was lacking. And weave has helped me a lot.

Please as I stated before head over to reniece.com if you think ALL women with weaves have jacked up hair underneath or using a weave as a protective style "IS A LAME EXCUSE" And feel free to shoot her a email and she can explain carefully. It really isnt about the weave vs no weave its about proper hair care as Ive stated many times before.

 

[supermodelsonya]

I wear weaves as a protective style. I for one am not ashamed of my hair. On any given day I can throw on my wig or quick weave and the next day wear my bantu knot out or 2 strand twists.
I love versatility but I love my hair. I actually love the compliments i receive when my hair is natural than when i wear a weave.

But it all comes down to ME. The weave is just easier for ME. Natural styles take a very long time for me to do and I am simply to busy with school and raising my niece.
Please simply do not make generalizations on the whole race because after all we have different stories and reasoning behind our hair methods.

And i think most women mean the weaves help them retain length ( the ones that actually know proper hair care ) not actually grow. I remember when I was younger I always thought I couldnt grow hair. But it was the retention that I was lacking. And weave has helped me a lot.

Please as I stated before head over to reniece.com if you think ALL women with weaves have jacked up hair underneath or using a weave as a protective style "IS A LAME EXCUSE" And feel free to shoot her a email and she can explain carefully. It really isnt about the weave vs no weave its about proper hair care as Ive stated many times before.

Right I so don't understand the weave PS bashing! When you see a woman wearing a weave, how do YOU know she ISN'T wearing it for a protective style?

It's all so divisive.

 

[lizzyb168]

Yes, white women wear weave...but why is it so tough to admit that this is a completely different ball of wax when compared to black women? They are not running out in record numbers to get the latest afro kinky texture.

U'll be suprised. They not running out for the kinky style but they are definately running out for the paris hilton/jessica simpson packaged hair and paying thousands of dollars for the 'freshly cut from young russian girl' hair to be weaved up in their head by a stylist.

 

[dynamic1]

U'll be suprised. They not running out for the kinky style but they are definately running out for the paris hilton/jessica simpson packaged hair and paying thousands of dollars for the 'freshly cut from young russian girl' hair to be weaved up in their head by a stylist.

Actually I am not surprised at all. Again, I believe it is jacking up most of their hair too and I hope that doesn't offend anyone.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

U'll be suprised. They not running out for the kinky style but they are definately running out for the paris hilton/jessica simpson packaged hair and paying thousands of dollars for the 'freshly cut from young russian girl' hair to be weaved up in their head by a stylist.

She means that black women run out to get a texture that different from their own while white women go for their own texture and not kinky curly.

 

[SiobhanM]

LOL right doesnt jessica simpson and paris hilton both have weave lines?
Doesnt kim kardashian always say she wears weave for added length?
Isnt Kourtney Kardashian always getting her tracks sewed in by homegirls at the shop?
Did jennifer lopez say the thing she hated about her self the most was how thin her hair was so she wore added tracks for volume?
*shrugs*
Which takes me back to my original statement in majority of the weave threads...lets not make it about weave vs no weave. But rather proper hair care vs. improper hair care

 

[supermodelsonya]

She means that black women run out to get a texture that different from their own while white women go for their own texture and not kinky curly.

I am glad they are starting to sell kinky curly textures now. AAMH, Halleys, and a lot of chinese vendors are starting to sell hair that matches our hair textures. Blending issues has ALWAYS been a problem especially for the hair types in the 4's.