Washing My Hair Is Stressing Me To Tears.

[curlytwirly06]

I have no idea what to do. every wash day I shampoo because my scalp feels cleaner and less gunky when I do. However without fail as soon as shampoo touches my hair it begins to snarl, dry up, and matt together. I was using cleansing conditioners primarly until my hair staring acting up in a majorly bad way and I had to stop. The detangling process after shampooing is almost an hour. It takes 3 rinses with conditioner to get my hair to a point where I can pry it apart. The process is very stressful. On top of that I hate the breakage and single strand knots I get on wash day from having to detangle. I have tried every " moisturizing" shampoo. I also pre-poo and wash in braids and nothing every works to prevent the drying out of my hair and matting up shampoo causes.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Like a super creamy moisturizing shampoo that won't strip moisture out of your hair? I can't use cleansing conditioners because they seem not to clean my scalp well. I an beginning to hate wash days.

 

[LivingInPeace]

Detangle your hair with conditioner before you shampoo.

 

[londonfog]

I'm sorry to hear you're going through that! Have you tried a sulfate free shampoo & are you using conditioners with slip to detangle?

 

[Lissa0821]

Try Mane and Tail detangler (on sale now at Sallys, buy get one free) before washing your hair. I usually will put my hair in sections, spray my hair with it, finger detangle followed by combing each section gently with a wide tooth comb. Also when washing your hair, dont pile it up on top of your hair. Let your hair stay in the flow of water in one direction, it should cut down on tangles as well.

 

[LiftedUp]

Try washing you hair in parts/sections http://blackgirllonghair.com/2012/09/3-techniques-for-washing-natural-hair-in-sections/ and switching out your current shampoo to a condition shampoo.

 

[curlytwirly06]

Thank you guys for answering! To answer some questions I wash my hair in loosely braided sections and I do detangle beforehand during my overnight pre-poo. All the shampoos I have used are sulfate free btw. Thank you!

 

[sgold04]

Thank you guys for answering! To answer some questions I wash my hair in loosely braided sections and I do detangle beforehand during my overnight pre-poo. All the shampoos I have used are sulfate free btw. Thank you!

Have you tried diluting the shampoo in water. I pour a small amount of shampoo in a color applicator bottle (or any bottle with a nozzle, and then I add water and shake. I concentrate on my scalp and not my strands because I find shampoo makes my hair tangle as well.

I haven't done this, but you could also look for a shampoo and conditioning line that focuses on ph levels. I wish I had recs, but I don't.

Sometimes I use Njoy's growth oil before I co-wash with As I AM coconut co-wash and my scalp feels great. So you may want to try some type of pre-wash scalp treatment, and then co-wash instead of shampoo.

ETA: a lot of people rave about trader joes tea tree oil shampoo.

 

[HappyAtLast]

I feel your pain and I experienced the exact same thing as you. I also shampoo my scalp every wash day because it feels better. What changed the game for me was before washing, I section my hair in 4 sections and lightly mist with water. Then I apply Aussie Moist conditioner (this is the only conditioner that does the job of detangling with slip for me. I've tried a lot others.) On each 1/4 section, I split it in half and then slowly start detangling/de-shedding from ends to roots. This whole process takes about 35 minutes on my whole head (before doing things this way, I could spend literally hours detangling/de-shedding and cutting SSK because my hair just wanted to stick together and wrap around itself.) I use seamless combs.

On to washing, I wash my hair in 2-4 sections (2 now that my hair is longer). I only apply shampoo to the scalp and massage it in. I let the run-off and water take care of the length, but I gently pull the run-off through my length. (my favorite shampoos: Loreal Power Moisture Hydrating Shampoo in turquoise and black bottle($6) and Chi Silk Nourishing Bath ($16). Both have sulfates, but it doesn't bother me.)

After washing, I spray my hair with pure avj. This solved my probelm of spiderweb matting. (my cuticles were lifted. This laid the cuticle down. I only had to do that for 3 washings before I didn't experienced the spiderweb matting anymore. But after the first time, the matting was gone by 90%. I now spray with avj only about 1x monthly for maintenance.)

 

[ajargon02]

Detangle your hair with conditioner before you shampoo.

I mix hello hydration with melted coconut oil for my pre-poo then twist up each section. I then wash in the sections.
This keeps everything in order. Hth

 

[ms.blue]

Wash your hair in sections in a downward motions.

 

[almond eyes]

I agree with all of the posters about making sure that you detangle before you shampoo and wash your hair in sections.

It is critical to read the ingredients on your shampoo bottle. Some of these shampoos have protein in them even though they say "moisturising" which can be a misleading term.

Also be wary too of shampoos that carry silicones, for some women that can be very drying on the hair. Silicone shampoos at first feel good because they give lots of slip during the wash period but then can leave your hair feeling dry.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[HaveSomeWine]

What do you use to pre poo? Maybe a heavy oil with lots of slip like olive oil will help.

Also, if you have high porosity and/or fine hair, you may be due for a protein treatment and trim.

I find that paddle brushes work better to detangle my hair than combs.

Have you tried steaming the conditioner into your hair and then detangling after it has gotten a chance to work on your hair.

One more thing, curly and kinky hair will never be perfectly detangled. It's natural for curly and kinky strands to wrap around each other. As long as your hair isn't forming dreadlocks by itself, don't give yourself a heart attack.

You can also alternate between dhampoos and cleansing conditioners. For shampoo, I use L'Oreal Paris Nutrigloss Shampoo.

 

[Ivonnovi]

Try detangeling first, then putting ponytail holder loosly near the scalp and near the ends of 2sts. I've done this for years because I'm tender headed, the pic shows the technique used for "banding to stretch" hair but believe me this technique will save you and your sanity. Also, leave bands in place until the hair is dry for "stretching" purposes.

 

[Miss Kane]

I would try saturating your hair with conditioner and using a Denman brush as you rinse the conditioner out. This has literally saved me from hour long detangling sessions.

 

[LovingLady]

What are you pre-pooing your hair with?
How many braided sections do you typically have?

 

[Leo24Rule]

Pre-poo with coconut oil and conditioner and let it sit on your hair for 30 mins to 1 hour. Give up on shampoo then and just co-wash. Wash hair with cleansing conditioner 1x or 2x a month. Deep condition weekly.

** Perhaps your hair is matting up like that and giving you a hard time because of protein overload? Read your ingredient labels and hair styling products just to make sure.

GOOD LUCK!!

 

[curlytwirly06]

Thank you everyone for replying. I have some questions so when I get to my computer o will be able to respond more thoroughly. Thank you!

 

[Crackers Phinn]

The only sulfate free products I have been able to that provide enough slip for my hair to not tangle are by Elucence. When I run out I just go back to my sulfate, cone, paraben riddled products until I remember to re-order.

I get that a lot of people want to stick to natural products but for the most part they make wash day harder for me and I notice no difference in the health of my hair versus non natural products.

 

[Misseyl]

Sorry about your dilemma, it sounds like protein overload. Change your shampoo, co-wash with conditioners instead of shampoo until your hair begins to behave better. And remember to moisturize and seal after every wash and see if that works for you.

 

[bklynbornNbred]

I have no idea what to do. every wash day I shampoo because my scalp feels cleaner and less gunky when I do. However without fail as soon as shampoo touches my hair it begins to snarl, dry up, and matt together. I was using cleansing conditioners primarly until my hair staring acting up in a majorly bad way and I had to stop. The detangling process after shampooing is almost an hour. It takes 3 rinses with conditioner to get my hair to a point where I can pry it apart. The process is very stressful. On top of that I hate the breakage and single strand knots I get on wash day from having to detangle. I have tried every " moisturizing" shampoo. I also pre-poo and wash in braids and nothing every works to prevent the drying out of my hair and matting up shampoo causes.

Does anyone have any suggestions? Like a super creamy moisturizing shampoo that won't strip moisture out of your hair? I can't use cleansing conditioners because they seem not to clean my scalp well. I an beginning to hate wash days.

Share specifically what products and techniques you are using. As others have mentioned some products may seem to be moisturizing but they are not. My hair would tangle like that when I had too much protein. Using the correct technique for your hair with the right products should address your issues.

Pre pooing with heat and then washing with correct shampoo and then deep conditioning with heat may make a difference. But you need to specify what you've been using (& how) so others can give alternative product suggestions.

 

[curlytwirly06]

Share specifically what products and techniques you are using. As others have mentioned some products may seem to be moisturizing but they are not. My hair would tangle like that when I had too much protein. Using the correct technique for your hair with the right products should address your issues.

Pre pooing with heat and then washing with correct shampoo and then deep conditioning with heat may make a difference. But you need to specify what you've been using (& how) so others can give alternative product suggestions.

Hi! Thank you for helping me. To answer your question about protein , my hair loves it! I use a few drops of protein filler in my deep conditioner every two weeks and get the softest most bouncy hair ever! I do not have protein sensitivity at all. Protein fillers turned my hair around and stopped much of my shedding and breakage. Normally I try to prepoo with anabelles perfect blends conditioner with olive oil added. I don't use coconut oil because it always makes my hair brittle and hard. I leave that on over night and wash the next morning by putting my hair in four loose braid and putting shampoo on my scalp ( beautiful textures curly to wavy shampoo). I have used plenty of brands over the years cream of nature, Giovanni, l'oreal etc and still have not found a shampoo that when it touches my hair does not make it poof and snarl clump togather then utterly dry it out. When I was using herbal essence cleansing conditioner it worked well for a while. No matting and almost no need for a follow up conditioner. But after a month or so my hair was limp, my scalp did not feel clean, and my hair started rejecting moisture to the point I almost had a major set back. I had to wash my hair with sulfates twice to get it back to normal. My hair really does not like silicone and always acts up when I use it heavily. Hope this helps!

 

[curlytwirly06]

Also I don't have a heat source outside of a blow dryer right now. My steamer broke and I am waiting till Black Friday to get a new dryer.

 

[InBloom]

Reading your original post gave me some sadness. I would hate to think of wash day being stressful because I actually really do look forward to mine.

I'm not claiming to have the answer, especially because my hair is relaxed. I can empathize with the dryness of hair after shampooing, and also the need for my hair to be detangled. I have fine hair and its very prone to tangling in general.

When I was reading, it occurred to me that (like everyone has said) a different shampoo might be in order. I use and love Keracare's Hydrating/Detangling shampoo. It really does add moisture and helps with detangling. You might consider some kind of detangling shampoo (if not Keracare) and dilute it with an oil. I've diluted shampoos to a 1:4 ratio or even as high as 1:3 ratio...the first part being oil.

After your pre-poo, wash your hair with the diluted shampoo. I'd let that sit in the hair for a few minutes before rinsing out. It occurs to me to mention/suggest ACV into your routine as your last rinse. That will surely help with detangling.

I hope that's helpful in some way.

 

[Brwnbeauti]

Consider applying the shampoo to your scalp first, then washing in the shower.

 

[blackeyes31626]

I have the same problem and I do detangle first but when the poo and water his my hir smh all the tangles and matted hair reappear.

Try detangling first, then putting ponytail holder loosly near the scalp and near the ends of 2sts. I've done this for years because I'm tender headed, the pic shows the technique used for "banding to stretch" hair but believe me this technique will save you and your sanity. Also, leave bands in place until the hair is dry for "stretching" purposes

Thanks I am trying this next wash day.

 

[overtherainbow]

How often are you going in between washes? It sounds to me that half of it might be going too long between detangling sessions on top of not detangling prior to wetting your hair.

I don't know what shampoos you have tried but my HG has been SM Moisture Retention. I usually believe in technique over product choices but I've yet to find another shampoo that cleaned my scalp while nourishing my natural hair.

 

[BlackRinse]

Put coconut oil in your hair prior to washing.

 

[Coilystep]

How often are you going in between washes? It sounds to me that half of it might be going too long between detangling sessions on top of not detangling prior to wetting your hair.

I don't know what shampoos you have tried but my HG has been SM Moisture Retention. I usually believe in technique over product choices but I've yet to find another shampoo that cleaned my scalp while nourishing my natural hair.

@curlytwirly06 I agree with @overtherainbow you maybe waiting to long between washes and detangling. For my hair I found that I can't leave braids or twist in they seem cause tangling for me. However I do work in sections while styling my hair. I usually do 4-5 loose ponytails. I also agree with technique being more important than products. What are you using to moisturize between washing. For me I just wet my hair everyday in the shower I rarely reapply products during the
week. I wash (sulfate free shampoo)
or cowash weekly.

 

[sugarbaybie]

.

You to? I'm so glad you posted this because it echo's the HORROR I feel when I have to shampoo. This is what is helping...I'm highlightiing the products because they are what helps.


coconut oil the night before
Condition with Keracare Humecto conditioiner to soften an hour before washing.

Wash scalp in a downward motion. Not across as that will encourage tangling.

Use shampoos with slip like Keracare moisturing sulfate free. Oh God this is a life saver.

Keracare Humecto conditioiner. Another lifesaver! Ive tried half of Walmart and this stuff hands down works! I use alot, but I also buy it in the 32 oz tub size.

 

[sugarbaybie]

Next I'm going to try washing and soaking in Keracare moisturizing detangling sulfate free shampoo to remove the setting lotion that I had from the last wash. That is what's causing the hardness on my hair. Plus that shampoo is like a majic conditioner. It's sulfate free and better than most conditioners.