The Trials of Friendship (Devotional)

Nina_S

Well-Known Member
March 19, 2012

The Trials of Friendship
Melissa Taylor


“A friend loves at all times, and a brother in born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)

When I asked “Paula” if she could get together Thursday evening she declined. She and her mother already had plans.

A little while later I called “Dana” to see if she could hang out Thursday. You can imagine my shock when she said, “Sorry, I’m going to a dinner party at Paula’s. You’re not invited?”

Ouch! I couldn’t help but wonder why Paula felt she could not be honest with me. Dana said the party was small and Paula probably didn’t want to hurt my feelings. I understood, but being left out and lied to really hurt.

An uncomfortable knot sat in my stomach as I struggled with whether I should approach Paula or not.

We’d come to a crossroads in our friendship. I wanted to tell her, “It’s okay you didn’t invite me to your party but you didn’t have to lie to me. And I forgive you, because ‘a friend loves at all times.’” But I was too afraid.

At times like this, I follow my mom’s advice. “When you don’t know what to do, that’s your cue to pray.” God reminded me that when a “friend loves at all times” it means we believe the best about each other and work through problems.

Despite both my mom’s and God’s wisdom, I’m sad to say I decided to just let it go; I was too fearful to caringly confront my friend.

Paula called me a few weeks later. She felt bad for lying to me, apologized and explained the dinner party. I also apologized for not confronting her. I should have known our friendship was stronger than my fears.

We ended up laughing about our insecurities, and ourselves, because we knew we loved each other and wouldn’t intentionally hurt one another. She should have been honest and I should’ve been brave enough to ask her about it.

Lying isn’t supposed to be a part of friendship, but neither is fear. Every relationship will have its share of trials and mishaps. But it should also have its share of believing the best in each other and forgiveness.

When obstacles that aren’t dealt with come between two people, they can eat at our hearts, little by little. When we allow it to build up over time, our enemy will use it to divide us.

Perhaps the Lord is prompting you to tell the truth to a friend you’ve not been honest with. Or maybe you’re the one who’s been told a lie. Scripture tells us, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (Romans 12:18 NIV 1984). Whether telling the truth, or confronting a lie, it rests upon us to do whatever possible to reconcile with our friend.

You may be on the other end of a confession or confrontation that was not well received. I’m so sorry. I know it’s painful to lose a friend. But we can rest assured, that once we’ve done our part, the Lord will continue to do His and heal the wound left.

If you’re at a crossroads now, wondering if you should confess or caringly confront, may I encourage you to pray and take the next step? I am so glad Paula called me. What we have is too good to allow hurt feelings and misunderstandings to ruin it.

God’s Word tells us “a friend loves at all times.” That may not always be easy, but in the end, it’s worth it. In fact, I can honestly say our friendship is now even stronger than it was before.

Dear Lord, we can make life so much more complicated than it needs to be. Help us to be honest, be brave, and to love and forgive each other the way You do. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Related Resources:
Do You Know Him?

Join Melissa and thousands of others in her next Online Bible Study of An Untroubled Heart by Micca Campbell. The study begins March 25. Click here for information and to enter to win a copy of An Untroubled Heart!

Find loads of encouragement on Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Studies Facebook Page

Reflect and Respond:
Is there a situation in your life that needs restoration or reconciliation?

Pray about how to move into action to make things right. Then take a first step.

Power Verses:
Matthew 18:21-22, “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’” (NIV 1984)

Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” (NIV 1984)

© 2012 by Melissa Taylor. All rights reserved.

Proverbs 31 Ministries
616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road
Matthews, NC 28105
www.Proverbs31.org

http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2012/03/the-trials-of-friendship.html
 
:wave: Hi Nina_S...

This is a great message. I'm going to re-read during my lunch break. As I was reading the 'resources' below the message, I noticed these words...

"The Untroubled Heart"...

Just this past week, I've been meditating on the scripture, "Let not our heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid".

Your thread has been a confirmation for me in many, many ways.

Thanks so much for sharing this message.

:bighug:

God bless you, Nina...
 
:wave: Hi Nina_S...

This is a great message. I'm going to re-read during my lunch break. As I was reading the 'resources' below the message, I noticed these words...

"The Untroubled Heart"...

Just this past week, I've been meditating on the scripture, "Let not our heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid".

Your thread has been a confirmation for me in many, many ways.

Thanks so much for sharing this message.

:bighug:

God bless you, Nina...

You are welcome Shimmie! I think this is constant prayer for me. The chatter that often goes on in my head is a direct result of a troubled heart.

Thank you!
 
You are welcome Shimmie! I think this is constant prayer for me. The chatter that often goes on in my head is a direct result of a troubled heart.

Thank you!

O' My Goodness... You just confirmed the title of one of my next messages to share... "Chatter Brain". :yep: (Love Note: I'm referring this to me) :Rose:

Lord knows I have a whole lot of chatter going on in my head. :drunk:

I'd love to replace it with extended hair growth. :look:
 
I'd love to replace it with extended hair growth. :look:

You and me both!! Here's to extended hair growth, AMEN!!

OT - I see strawberries in your avatar, I can't wait to go pick this year. I looking for recipes to use them with. Happy picking!
 
You and me both!! Here's to extended hair growth, AMEN!!

OT - I see strawberries in your avatar, I can't wait to go pick this year. I looking for recipes to use them with. Happy picking!

:amen: to the extended hair growth. :up:

The problem with the berries is that the children eat them as soon as one buds... :lol:

I'll send you some recipes via PM. Ones I've tried and ones I'm trying to obtain enough berries to make before the children eat the berries up. :lol:
 
Last edited:
I am at a crossroads with one of my friends right now. One I already decided to let go the other I am still on the fence. Dear Lord plz guide me
 
This message is so true. I was at a major crossroad with my best friend. Long story short - I was coddling her. I wanted the best for her and I allowed myself to be her "emotional dumpster" I took in all her vents, consoled her and provided for her monetarily when issues arose. Here I am thinking this girl and I, friends for nearly 10 years are on the same page. Well, turns out i was just setting myself to be used. I don't think for a moment that she meant to do this maliciously. But used is used. her life decisions would give me high blood pressure on the daily. Her definition of a better life was different from mine and that was a hard pill to swallow initially. I wish I had swallowed the pill earlier now. I gave so much of my time and life that I became mentally exhausted.

We had a talk (which was soooo hard to initiate because I didn't want to rock the boat. She didnt want to talk but i persisted - you have to push for your happiness.) and now, my mind and heart are free. Her life is hers and mine is mine. I can't make decisions for her and she will realize only what she is ready to realize.

No one will care for you as much as you can on your road to loving yourself. I had to be honest with myself that this best friend of mine was putting her feelings over mine and not respecting my time. Now I GIVE myself the space that I need from her. I'm feeling less and less emotionally strained. No more 3hr long phone calls to hear about her day because she's home alone with a baby and wants company. When she wants to vent about her boyfriend, i listen and then let it roll off my shoulders. I don't brew any more. She is making her own choices. Our paths diverged greatly a few years back but i'm just now respecting my time and myself enough to handle it without fear. Get things out with your friends y'all. It's downright liberating and it deepens your mutual respect for one another.
 
Back
Top