Single Christian Women's Support - THE REMIX!

[Divine.]

Thanks everyone! I really had a moment of weakness yesterday and I just needed to get that out of my system. Today is a new day, and I'm going to continue putting my trust in God. I regularly listen to Cornelius Lindsey (love him!) and there was a sermon he preached months ago that resonated with me. I listened to it before, but today the words truly spoke to me. For anyone going through this wilderness period I highly recommend listening to this sermon: http://www.thegonow.com/sermon/livestream-20/

This God–his way is perfect;the word of the LORD proves true; he is a shield for all those who take refuge in him. Psalm 18:30

 

[Haddasah]

I haven't posted here in awhile. Reading through the last few pages has me so encouraged. I need to love myself first before someone can love me, I have always battled with my self esteem since a very young age (5 yrs old maybe) about 5 years ago things got better but I have my down times every so often...I want to see myself as I truly am, a daughter of the Most High King, but sometimes I lose the vision. My biggest fight is going to be loving myself and stopping being my own enemy...I want a husband but I need to cherish who I am first.

 

[Divine.]

deleted...

 

[Maracujá]

How has the week been? Mine was OK. Sorry I keep bombarding y'all with questions but yes I have another one: how do your brothers and sisters from church react to your perpetual singleness? My singleness is starting to become somewhat of a problem at my church, meaning people are taking more and more notice of it which actually bothers me since I'm an introvert and prefer keeping things to myself. Also after being single for nearly a decade and devouring blog upon blog on the topic, I'm starting to feel at ease with my current marital status. Why people just casually forget that Jesus was single the entire time He was on earth and that most of the New Testament was written by a single man is beyond me.

 

[LiftedUp]

^ I don't understand why people at your church are concerned about your singleness. Unless they're setting you up with their "nice son" or "nephew who is such a great guy" or their "neighbour who would be so perfect for you" they need to stop gossiping.

Anyway, no one seems to care that I'm single. If I was committing adultery or something they would feel the need to counsel me, seriously but marital status, no.

Now I would wish that some of them set me up with their accomplished sons. I have some good people at my church with some good offspring. But, people aren't in your business like that.

 

[DreamLife]

Maracuja...at my old church I felt kind of awkward being single in a church full of young married folks but like LiftedUp said, if they weren't trying to hook me up I still felt awkward but eventually stopped caring. It's sad that churches sometimes have that atmosphere where they just aren't conducive to a person being comfortable in their singleness. I totally understand.

 

[Sarophina]

I agree with LiftedUp, I don't mind people being concerned with my singleness, if they are going to set me up, lol. If they have a good son, nephew, cousin, neighbor etc, that they think would be a great match for me, then by all means inquire about my relationship status. However, just pointing out that I'm single, only causes me to struggle with contentment.

But, I think your church members mean well tho.

 

[momi]

I am notorious for this - but only with the guys. I'm forever asking when they plan to "find a wife".
Hmmmm.... Maybe I should discontinue this practice.

 

[JaneBond007]

Pray for me, y'all. I'm to the point of trying to figure out some characteristics I need in a mate. A little later on, I'll explain. Just pray that G-d shows me the way.

 

[Maracujá]

I am notorious for this - but only with the guys. I'm forever asking when they plan to "find a wife".
Hmmmm.... Maybe I should discontinue this practice.

momi: you're going to the ones who should be doing the pursuing, that is the correct way to do it.

 

[LiftedUp]

I am notorious for this - but only with the guys. I'm forever asking when they plan to "find a wife".
Hmmmm.... Maybe I should discontinue this practice.

Please continue to encourage them, some of us (me) aren't single by choice . I feel the men are though

 

[momi]

Please continue to encourage them, some of us (me) aren't single by choice . I feel the men are though

Do you know what they tell me????

I'm looking Ms. "Momi". They claim to be looking and unable to find anyone worth marrying. It's just a major head scratch to me.

 

[LoveisYou]

Most Christian men I meet (many as friends and there's no interest on my part) acknowledge that they have no interest in practicing celibacy.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

Men seem so obsessed with "hotness." I think they have lost touch with what a real, beautiful, feminine, modest woman looks like. Also being around people talking about "hooking up" is depressing. Where are the men looking for something more???

 

[Phoenix14]

Do you believe that the Lord will unveil your eyes to your Adam and vice versa at the opportune time?

I've come to realize that I don't know what Godly courtship looks or feels like. I keep expecting him to try to get at me. Instead I get the "lets do a group thing with the family" and hey if we're hanging out lets keep doors open and everything super PG. I don't even know if it counts as interest.

So I pray that Lord, as you teach me to wait on you and your Adam, teach me what Godly courtship looks like. Keep me from being a stumbling block to my future SO or designated one and that we both remain pure as we endeavor to seek Your kingdom first.

 

[nlamr2013]

^I personally do. I understand what you mean about not knowing whether the guy is eing friendly or trying to court you. Honestly though God is not an author of confusion so if youre confused about the situation I'd say either God is letting you know this isnt the time or this isnt the person or both. lol you should be clear that youre being courted because courtship is leading to marriage lol

However, yes I believe courting, especially when one or both of you has ever struggled with sexual sin, should be done out in the open where you can be seen and held accountable. so family events, public things, no closed doors, no spending the night in the same room, no late night movies etc

 

[nlamr2013]

Most Christian men I meet (many as friends and there's no interest on my part) acknowledge that they have no interest in practicing celibacy.

Men seem so obsessed with "hotness." I think they have lost touch with what a real, beautiful, feminine, modest woman looks like. Also being around people talking about "hooking up" is depressing. Where are the men looking for something more???

maybe you ladies could find meetup groups for like minded thinkers because thats crazy that you both feel the, I assume, men in your church arent trying to be pure. while yes there always seems to be more women vocal about celibacy, and practicing celibacy, I do know some men who really struggle with it or who are believers in waiting. if you can not find anything in your area perhaps find something not in your area just to see that yes there are many men willing to uphold biblical standards and principles even if only to restore you knowledge that theyre out there.

 

[Belle Du Jour]

maybe you ladies could find meetup groups for like minded thinkers because thats crazy that you both feel the, I assume, men in your church arent trying to be pure. while yes there always seems to be more women vocal about celibacy, and practicing celibacy, I do know some men who really struggle with it or who are believers in waiting. if you can not find anything in your area perhaps find something not in your area just to see that yes there are many men willing to uphold biblical standards and principles even if only to restore you knowledge that theyre out there.

I do believe there are men like that out there. I happened to be hanging out with secular people this weekend and was turned off by this obsession with "hotness." I know there are chaste men out there. I'm waiting patiently for mine. Just trying to find the best places to position myself in.

 

[bellatiamarie]

I changed my phone number today. I've been saying since I found out my ex had a baby that I needed to change my number. Well, I finally did it today! I actually feel good about my decision. I had that number for almost 10 years and so much of my past was connected to that number including him. He lives half way across the country so the phone and FB are really the only modes of communication he has with me (I deactivated my FB account last week).

I've known about the baby since February and I should've changed it then but I was very apprehensive because I've had it so long. I had his number on block but he would call from every number he could get a hold of and I got tired of that game. He text me today and brought up so much from the past and that's what the devil does... He tries to throw your past in your face to keep you bound but the word says whom the Son sets free is free indeed and any man be in Christ is a new creature; old things are passed away and He makes everything new!

Long story short, I ended that text convo by wishing him well and I called my provider and changed the number and haven't thought twice about it since. I really felt like it was time to change the number because he was still calling and because I would continuously check the phone for missed calls/texts from him or from other guys from my past. Now, it's like the slate is clean... The only people that have my number are people that I want to have it. I really feel like I can breathe easier now... Almost like a weight has been lifted.

I needed to free up some space in my heart for Jesus and the husband that God has for me. I'm going to be 30 in October and it's time for me to start setting the tone for my thirties by setting boundaries and getting rid of baggage. It's so funny because yesterday at church I praised God like I was out of my mind literally and didn't know why but now I know!

In other news, I'm in the beginning phases of purchasing a home. I'm truly grateful for all His favor and blessings upon my life. He keeps fulfilling promises to me even though I'm not perfect and y'all I'm so grateful! I'm definitely glad I changed my number and I'm truly ready to move on and see what He has in store for me!

 

[Divine.]

I decided I'm not going to waste another second of my singleness. A lot of things have been transpiring in my personal life lately so it's been a little difficult to smile through it all. But I know what God has delivered me from and I'm going to use that to keep me motivated.

I'm going to use this time to get busy in God's work. I have been devoting too much of my time to myself and laziness and that needs to change. There's so much abundance in this life that we miss out on just passively waiting. I want to go out with friends, start a hobby, help minister to people, and just exude God's love on a daily basis.

I know that my opinion may not matter as much because I'm quite young (23). However I fully understand how tough waiting can be because I have never been in a relationship. The only thing I know when it comes to relationships is hurt and disappointment.

I just want to encourage all of you ladies to continue pursuing God even if it feels like He has forgotten about you. Don't suppress your desires for a spouse but don't let them consume you either. I want to see some testimonies come out of this thread I'm already certain God is going to do more than I can ever imagine

Sorry to ramble. I just place different things on my heart here.

 

[nlamr2013]

Have any of you ladies read a Mary heart in a Martha world? I'm enjoying it so far.

Oh wow that took a lot I've had my number for 6 years and would have to be physically forced to change it.

And divine ikwym I feel like sometimes people ask me for advice just to ignore it or tell me I don't know because I've never had a serious relationship or an 'intimate' one. And I'm thinking did God not use Jeremiah better recognize. Sometimes a fresh unjaded perspective is just what the doc ordered.

 

[Divine.]

Have any of you ladies read a Mary heart in a Martha world?

I have never read that book. What is it about?

 

[nlamr2013]

I have never read that book. What is it about?

It was recommended by a prayer group Im in by a few people its about sisters Mary and Martha from Luke 10:38-42

At the Home of Martha and Mary

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39 She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

41 “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, 42 but few things are needed—or indeed only one.[a] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”

I'm only a few chapters in but so far its just been about how sometimes we get so focused on life and what we 'have' to do right now for the world that we forget about what we need to do for our spirits and thats sit at the feet of the Lord.

 

[loolalooh]

Godsgirlg got married!! I've been following her on YouTube for a while now ... during her single hood videos. Here's part I of her testimony:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbd-evE1hKU

 

[DreamLife]

Godsgirlg got married!! I've been following her on YouTube for a while now ... during her single hood videos. Here's part I of her testimony: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dbd-evE1hKU

I've watched her videos...thanks for the update!

 

[nlamr2013]

Shimmie posted this in another thread and I've been looking through and the blog is interesting (ive only read 2 links so far though) thought it was worth posting especially in this thread

 

[Kacie]

nlamr2013 What blog is it?

 

[nlamr2013]

I thought I posted the link sorry! hold pleaase

http://www.boundless.org/relationships/2007/biblical-dating-principles-for-drawing-boundaries

this is the actual article but Ive clicked around a bit and enjoy the site.

nlamr2013 What blog is it?

 

[Maracujá]

After about 6 months of being married, I realized something that I pray every unmarried person will take very serious. Every second I spent before I said I do, was preparation for marriage. All the things I accomplished and all the things I failed to do contributed to my present day marriage. Before I married, I was a huge proponent for preparing for marriage. But now that I am married, I cannot stress how important it is to prepare for the covenant that changes everything.

Link: http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2014/05/25-ways-other-than-dating-to-prepare-for-marriage/

 

[LoveisYou]

Link: http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2014/05/25-ways-other-than-dating-to-prepare-for-marriage/

ERRRRRR....sounds like the desire to get marriage was an idol of sorts