Rejoined the forum! Hair in a sorry state

[alarafan]

Hello all! I'm sort of a newbie but not really. I joined the forum a few years ago but never did much about it.

Now I am really serious about sorting my hair out. I am african and my hair has very very tight curls. Hairdresser told me even though I have a LOT of hair it is actually 'fine'. It has 'poor elasticity'. It is relaxed, but pretty much bald at the back where it breaks off and also near my temples, but not forehead. I always get a big ball of hair on my comb when I comb it :-(

I just don't know how to look after my hair - it only looks nice when coming from the salon and I can rarely afford to go. I had been going to a hairdressing college where the rates were much cheaper but they have closed for the summer

I was regularly wearing a lace front wig till my hairdresser told me it was doing a lot of damage to my hairline.

I want to UNDERSTAND what is good and bad for my hair and WHY. It is so interesting and also gives you encouragement to do things when you know why youre doing them.

These are the steps I have taken so far

• My husband bought me some of those nice combs with no seams to damage my hair
• I bought a satin pillowcase to stop breakage at night because I really do not like sleeping with a cap or headscarf.
• I use elasta QP mango butter in my hair every couple of days. It smells delish and makes it feel soft.
• I intend to do 'co-washes' about three times a week but am not sure what products to use.
• I use a wahl power pick hairdryer and I want to buy some GHD straigteners because I hear they are good.
• My hair is too short for the baggie thing
• I sometimes use a protein conditioner in my hair but I don't really understand how to use it properly.
• I want to learn how to moisturiese and seal properly.

I want to look sleek, polished and sophisticated. Right now I just look scruffyerplexed

I feel like going out today and buying a whole bunch of lotions and potions for my hair.

I want to sort out a regimen. This time I mean it! Feeling excited

 

[JFK]

Welcome back and stick in there! Be patient and your hair will be fab before you know it...okay, I need to go somewhere and take my own advice LOL.

But I do notice that patience is the key to the women who are successful in their hair journeys.

 

[WyrdWay]

I suggest getting on youtube and watching hair care videos they may help encourage you some more and keep you interested and eager to learn!! That's where I got started with being interested in hair care.

Find someone who's hair looks like yours and go from there
Wanting to learn is half the battle!!!

 

[MrsHdrLe]

I want to encourage you. You will get good advice here and Welcome back. I can relate b/c my hairdresser also says I have a lot of fine hair too. Remember, what works for some may or may not work for you, so be patient. Don't go out a buy a lot of products expecting an instant miracle. Just pay attention to the way your hair feels. You hair will tell you what it likes or dislikes.
Finally, I have discovered products that have natural and easy to read ingredients are working best for my hair. I am relaxed/texlaxed, but I suffered from a lot of breakage/shedding and dryness in the past. Recently, I have found Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose products work well for me and moroccanoil or argan oils seal well for me. But look for hair gurus who have your same texture to inspire you. Good Luck!

 

[Nix08]

Here are a few threads that may help
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=389082
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=321851
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=35278
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=302623

 

[Solitude]

Welcome back! How short is your hair? You might want to consider laying off relaxing if it's causing balding/severe breakage in your nape. Instead of lacefronts, have you considered regular wigs?

Also, you can baggy your whole head under the wigs or braid your hair up and allow it to rest.

My hair is relaxed and I've found that rollersets and protective styling work well. The above-mentioned suggestions might fit into your lifestyle and work with your hair length and budget better. Don't buy more products than you need. Good luck!

 

[ms.blue]

Welcome back fellow African I believe you need to limit heat usage. You can try wearing your lace fronts w/o using glue or tape, just by pinning it down instead ( I do that myself). Try stetching out your relaxers by protective styling or low manipulation styles (roller setting, braidouts, bantu knots) Co-washing might cause too much manipulation but it does help some ladies here. What type of shampoo and conditioner you have?

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

Here are a few threads that may help
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=389082
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=321851
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=35278
http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=302623

These are good Nix08

Welcome back! The links Nix08 provided should help. Just do some research and figure out what is causing your hair to come out in the comb and what is causing the breakage in the back. Just pay more attention to what you are doing to your hair from here on out to get your hair back on track. Learning about hair from a scientific stand point first really helped me . Good luck!

 

[Nix08]

These are good @Nix08

Welcome back! The links Nix08 provided should help. Just do some research and figure out what is causing your hair to come out in the comb and what is causing the breakage in the back. Just pay more attention to what you are doing to your hair from here on out to get your hair back on track. Learning about hair from a scientific stand point first really helped me . Good luck!

This to me is absolutely key!!! I have had no set backs in my 1 year on this journey (fingers crossed). I think that understanding the science behind it all has prevented any setbacks.

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

This to me is absolutely key!!! I have had no set backs in my 1 year on this journey (fingers crossed). I think that understanding the science behind it all has prevented any setbacks.

It is sooo true for me as well.

 

[alarafan]

Thank you for all the kind replies - I will go through them one by one!

Regarding the lace front wig, I did not tape/glue it, just used the internal combs that come with it. The teacher at the hairdressing college where I was getting my hair done said the friction from the edge of the wig with my hairline was causing the breakage and I think he was right because I have not worn it regularly for about a month and the hairline seems a bit better.

 

[alarafan]

@ Nix08 how can I learn about the scientific part? I am really interested but I do not really know where to go for information. I have found hair magazines are just full of girls with weaves etc and do not help much.

 

[ms.blue]

Thank you for all the kind replies - I will go through them one by one!

Regarding the lace front wig, I did not tape/glue it, just used the internal combs that come with it. The teacher at the hairdressing college where I was getting my hair done said the friction from the edge of the wig with my hairline was causing the breakage and I think he was right because I have not worn it regularly for about a month and the hairline seems a bit better.

I remove the combs of my lace front wigs. One of my new lf, I used the combs and it was causing irritation on my right side so much that is was getting red, I promptly removed the combs. Are you wearing a wig cap or a du rag underneath?

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

@ Nix08 how can I learn about the scientific part? I am really interested but I do not really know where to go for information. I have found hair magazines are just full of girls with weaves etc and do not help much.

The very first link she posted has a lot of info scientifically .

 

[alarafan]

I remove the combs of my lace front wigs. One of my new lf, I used the combs and it was causing irritation on my right side so much that is was getting red, I promptly removed the combs. Are you wearing a wig cap or a du rag underneath?

well... I don't wear anything under it. I found those wig caps/ du rags so itchy and uncomfortable I don't wear them. when I start my new job I will need to sort something out, but at the moment I just wear a hat outdoors...

 

[alarafan]

Welcome back! How short is your hair? You might want to consider laying off relaxing if it's causing balding/severe breakage in your nape. Instead of lacefronts, have you considered regular wigs?

Also, you can baggy your whole head under the wigs or braid your hair up and allow it to rest.

My hair is relaxed and I've found that rollersets and protective styling work well. The above-mentioned suggestions might fit into your lifestyle and work with your hair length and budget better. Don't buy more products than you need. Good luck!

I don't think I can go without relaxed hair. I respect those who go natural but I am not in a place to do that right now. I have quite a small face so normal wigs swamp my face a bit.

I will learn how to baggy the whole head. I will also try and learn how to roller set.

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

Since the combs of the LF wigs were causing damage, have you considered phony ponytails or full regular wigs and not using the combs? Also it sounds like you should concentrate on moisture first then protein....you have a lot of staples (satin pillowcase, detangling comb, daily moisturizer) and you are off to a great start. For me, hiding my hair under half wigs, and altering the location of the combs so as not to cause damage helps me grow my hair best. GOOD LUCK!

 

[ms.blue]

How often do you relax?

 

[Keshieshimmer]

I don't think I can go without relaxed hair. I respect those who go natural but I am not in a place to do that right now. I have quite a small face so normal wigs swamp my face a bit.

I will learn how to baggy the whole head. I will also try and learn how to roller set.

She is not suggesting you go natural, but it seems obivious that the relaxing process is eating up your hair. Maybe someone could braid your hair and then you wear your lacefront or find a wig that works. You can also look into wearing professional/elegant looking scarves to hide your hair for a bit while the sides come back.

For the science stuff, see if you can get access to a college library to get books on the matter.

 

[alarafan]

@ ms blue - normally I relax every six weeks or so because the hair is so unmanageable but I have gone about 10 weeks now and will relax it in 2 weeks time because there is something I want my hair to look good for happening then.

@ ebonycprincess - apparently it was the actual front (i.e. edge) of the wig causing damage, not the combs. When I have worn those fake pony tails they seem to cause breakage where I wear them at the back of my head.

I will go through the newbie manual and try and learn the protein moisture thing. My hair is so dry even hours after I put that moisturising mango butter on it. So dry it is actually crunchy :-(

Keshieshimmer - if you can recommend any titles I will have a look for them

 

[Nix08]

The very first link she posted has a lot of info scientifically .

And if you want to spend a little extra money and have it all in one nice package buy: The Science of Black Hair by Audrey Davis-Sivasothy she is a member here and her articles are fantastic...they can be found free here: http://contributor.yahoo.com/user/83046/audrey_sivasothy.html Her book just came out this year.

 

[ms.blue]

I think you were over processing your hair by overlapping. There is no real need to relax every six weeks b/c the new growth could only be 1/4-1/2 inches. It is good that you were able to stretch to more than 10 weeks. If the elasta qp mango moisturizer is leaving your hair hard, then it is not working for you. For your hair to absorb moisture, protein and moisture has to be in sync. Have you done a protein treatment before?

 

[Beverly Ann Properties]

Ditto what Nix08 said~

 

[alarafan]

I read a couple of the newbie threads and resisted the urge to go out and buy everything! I am feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the information but I will treat it like learning to read and write because I am hair illiterate! Today I am just holding the pen in my hand to see what it feels like

I put my hair into about 10 twists after putting elasta QP mango butter and olive oil moisturising cream on it. I used a scarf on my head, I wonder if it will stay on all night, lol. Part of the bottom of my hair felt like it was trying to lock into dreadlocks - the problem is when I try and comb it the top i.e. relaxed part usually breaks off.

 

[alarafan]

@ Nix08 - thanks for the recommendation - I will try and get the library to order it

I think you were over processing your hair by overlapping. There is no real need to relax every six weeks b/c the new growth could only be 1/4-1/2 inches. It is good that you were able to stretch to more than 10 weeks. If the elasta qp mango moisturizer is leaving your hair hard, then it is not working for you. For your hair to absorb moisture, protein and moisture has to be in sync. Have you done a protein treatment before?

You are probably right about the overprocessing. I don't think it is the mango butter leaving it dry, it is probably just my whole lack of a good regime. I used a shampoo, protein conditioner (left it on about 20 mins) then a leave in conditioner if that is what you mean by a protein treatment. I don't think I did it right because my hair felt like straw afterwards

 

[luckiestdestiny]

I'm a nattural, and though I'm not relaxed , I have been before and realize what a havock chemicals can wreck on your hair when they're not applied correctly (and tons of hairstylists are doing it wrong)

If you say the relaxed part is just snapping off it looks like it might be overprocessing (what kind of relaxer, is it extra strength, and how long is your hairstylist leaving it on? Is she pulling it through the whole hair (as some do claiming that your hair needs it when really no one needs overprocessed hair)? Also I'm sure a good regime will help too, but I would think that if you've done all you can and it's stiill breaking , then that overprocessed hair will have to just break off (and you'll have to keep cutting the damage until you get to the healthy hair). Hopefully you'll take the steps necessary to watch your hairstylist, notice her process and see if you need to make any changes there. Never trust anyone blindly with your hair.

 

[ms.blue]

alarafan, after a protein treatment you must follow up w/ moisturizing deep condition or your hair will feel like straw.

 

[MzSwift]

IA w/Ms. Blue, always follow a protein tx w/a moisturizing DC.

The ladies are giving you awesome advice about PSing and leaving your hair alone in order to help it recover.

And there are TONS of wigs out there, small ones and big ones. Trust me, I too have a peanut head. LoL

GL w/whatever you decide to do!

 

[Jetblackhair]

Welcome back OP. I know it can be overwhelming with so much information out there. I wouldn't suggest that you run out and buy loads of products, but you should start with some good basic products:

A good moisturizing shampoo
A good moisturizing deep conditioner for weekly deep condition treatments
A good conditioner to do co-washes; maybe 2x a week.
A leave in conditioner
An oil or butter to seal

I say keep it simple and start with the basics, so that you know what's working and what's not working. Your current products may not be the best products for your hair. Give yourself a good month to stick with the regimen to see if the products are working. Of course if you're hair doesn't respond then the product may not work for your hair.

You mentioned getting a satin pillow case and using seamless combs which is a great start. You will also want to clarify your hair to get rid of any product build up. Follow this up with a moisturizing shampoo or a co-wash, because clarifying can be drying. Get your damaged ends trimmed and start to protect your ends by hiding them to keep the moisture in.

If you choose to baggie your hair take caution as this does not work for everyone. I have fine hair and I tried to baggie but it caused breakage. My hair did not like being damp.

HTH

 

[Nix08]

OP in the beginning I noticed that moisturizing and sealing my hair then wrapping it up with a scarf made a world of difference in the appearance and feel of my new growth. Thrashing about at night on your cotton pillow cases really dries out the hair. Tying it up helps retain moisture. Along with the other suggestions maybe co washing may help in upping your moisture levels.