would it be possible for you to try a BKT? that way you can wear it straighter and after 2-4 months, you're hair reverts back to it's natural state? maybe it will give you a break from dealing with the 2 very different textures....?
I've been seriously considering BKT...but I'm a little afraid of the formaldehyde content, and I've heard the formula without it isn't as effective. If this continues, however, I might give in
Thanks!
An unattractive girl would not make this statement, so i know you are attractive.
Go ahead and BC. I've been natural twice and am now relaxed and hatemyself for relaxing again. I want to transition, but i know i am going to have to BC to get my natural hair back-the two textures are too much to deal with. I am in awe of long term transitioners.
This is one of my reasons for not wanting to BC...I'm really afraid I'll do it, then one day decide to relax again one day. However, I will still consider the BC, so thank you
Hi S,
Please know that you are
beautiful!
Years ago when I had a perm and transitioned... I was feeling the exact same way...This is what I did.... I perm my edges, ever 3 to 4 months and wore a bun, weave with my edges out (for pony tails mainly) and braids. This helped me transition and this was b4 lhcf
HTH
Thanks
I hate to air my insecurities but I've just been so frustrated! Anyway, I'm a little confused about what you mean by perming the edges; do you mean you just relax the first centimeter or so of growth and leave the rest natural? Do you have any photos of what this looks like! Thanks so much!
I can definitely relate. Although I have only been at this transition for 21 weeks, I think I'm nearing the point where everyone seems to give up. It is a lot harder than I imagined, but we can both get through this. I just imagine my natural hair, and I'm ready to go at it again. Don't give up lady. Maybe try rollersetting like someone suggested, and flat ironing the roots. HTH!
Twenty one weeks is a
long time, and I think this is right when my trouble initially started. I'll try the flat ironing, and also try to picture the final results
Thanks.
As I recall, you used to have a picture of your face in your siggy that gives lie to the not attractive thing - only really pretty girls who are uncomfortable with being so say things like that. I have no advice about transitioning, going natural, or making this decision - I am relaxed and happy to be so. You need to consider the reasons you decided to transition and go natural and determine of those reasons are still valid for you. After that, maybe bun city or the BKT someone recommended or relax - this has to be your decision because it's your hair.
HOWEVER - I think you need to understand that saying negative things about yourself leads to a negative mindset. Eventually, we begin to believe, act on, and live our self-talk. Make sure yours is ALWAYS positive - always. Words have power, use that power to make your life better. The world can often be a difficult place, and there are plenty of people and situations that seem as if they are bound to run you down and defeat you. YOU SHOULD NEVER ACT OR SPEAK LIKE YOUR OWN ENEMY - positive self-talk only from now on. If you have to stand in the mirror multiple times a day and tell yourself that you are worthy, intelligent, and beautiful, then that's what you need to do - learning to value and appreciate yourself is far more important than how you wear your hair.
Thank you. I've really been trying to work on the positive self-talk, but some days I look in the mirror and honestly can't do it, particularly since I've been feeling so bad about my hair and some other things as well. However, you are right: there's more to life than one's hair, so I will try to focus on these things instead. I will also try to reassess my motivations for transitioning.
Hey Spin,
Try to hang in there. I always give the same advice, that months 7-9 are rough. They were rough for me and many other ladies on this board. It's just because now you've got enough natural hair to really appreciate the difference and so some reason, detangling gets very difficult. Your options are:
1. To BC which might be good since this is summer and you'll have time to get used to your hair before Columbia. Plus you will see more naturals in NY.
2. Stick with it for this stage passes, and it will pass. It passed for me gradually, one day I just noticed things were better. Thing is because your hair is pretty long that phase may take a little longer. Here's the thing. Sometimes there are just self interpreted "ugly" phases in transitioning and you don't feel your best. You've just got to look at the big picture, you end goal. To most people you look just fine.
3. Do a mini chop. I know you just did a length update but it might help to release a few inches. You might do two mini chops over the next 6 months to each the pain a bit.
4. Get braids- or just kept you hair in a bun and focus on other stuff.
5. Not my personal favorite, but Allandra does the biweekly flat ironing and it works well for her. She been transitioning for a long time.
You can do it. Stay encouraged...and like Newflowers said stay positive.
All of your suggestions were great; I like having options
I do tend to see far more naturals in NY than in NC, so I think I would feel more comfortable doing a BC there. It'd certainly be a new beginning...For right now, however, I think 2 and 4 are the main choices. Thanks!