It was weird for me when I was young, I had a great sense of self as a child. I had all black dolls, in fact my moms friend bought me a white doll and I was so mad that I cried and ripped her head off. Another one of her friends bought me a strawberry shortcake doll but because she was cloth I couldn't rip her head off so I colored her face with a magic marker. It was when my mom moved us to a predominately white neighborhood that I fell apart and I started to want to be white. I hated my hair, wanted relaxers, even though I didn't need them, used that "sun-in" stuff that you spray on your hair and the sun lightens your hair, OMG, my hair went from luxurious to a hot friggin mess. and my mind set went from thinking that "black was where it was at" to "white was right"... SMH. It wasn't until I had my hair in micros for my junior-senior years straight and I didn't put any relaxer in my hair when I saw my hair in it's natural state for the first time in 7 years and I decided I loved my hair. I relaxed a couple times after that but never long enough to be consistent, usually once then I would transition or once then I would wait a few months then BC... My niece has an identity issue, she is the most beautiful shade of ebony and has very thick, coily hair and she literally cried when I wouldn't let her wear my wigs this summer because she said she didn't like her hair. I talked to her about it and she said she wanted hair like mine that "swung and hung down" I had to tell her all the great things about her hair and what her hair does that I WISH my hair could do. She felt better but I found out that at her house when she gets her hair done, her aunt says stuff like "man I have to comb through this nappy nest" and "look and 'so and so's' hair it's so silky," "look at that caramel drop" no one ever says anything about HER beauty and she is GORGEOUS! I am so concerned that I tried to get her mother to let her live with me for the school year...