Help!!! Being a "good" Christian...

[mango387]

I take Christianity seriously, because I know that both God and people are watching. (Confession: I have experienced someone saying "I thought you were a Christian" when I used foul language in a really stressful situation. To make a long story short, that person's statement hurt really badly. I felt awful b/c I believed that I had "messed" up my witness to that person). Also, I feel like if you are a Christian, then you should try to live up to the standards on pure principle.

As a result, AS SOON AS I discover that I am doing something contrary to what I think God would be pleased with or what the Bible says, I change my behavior, ask forgiveness, etc. To make a long story short, I know that I am not perfect, but I try to be a good Christian (not just going to church but also giving to the needy, etc.) and represent well.

So what's the problem? Sometimes, I feel like there is a void somewhere. I have even wondered what's the point in doing all of this when I know of people who downright vicious and they are "living the good life." Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Did you find a solution?

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

I certainly do I have felt this way most of my life.However when you throw out the perfect or good christian theory out of your mind and actually start trusting God and knowing his character 100% you will start to do things that are in accordance with God not because its the right thing to do or lawful but becasue you have changed fully in the inside.

 

[mango387]

I certainly do I have felt this way most of my life.However when you throw out the perfect or good christian theory out of your mind and actually start trusting God and knowing his character 100% you will start to do things that are in accordance with God not because its the right thing to do or lawful but becasue you have changed fully in the inside.

That's the thing. I have ALWAYS been one to try to play by the rules concerning Christianity, work, relationships, etc. Part of the reason I am like that is b/c whenever I do something "wrong" I get caught AND in trouble. Plus, I have seen a lot of Christians (from pastors on down) live extremely shady lives and then talk about grace and mercy. I don't want to be like that either.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

See that the issue in my opinion..I don't follow Christianty..I follow God.I see Christianty as rules and regulations and not the true followership of God.However because you are aware of your actions and the not so good actions of others you will always do better because you will be aware of your weaknesses.I use to follow doctrine and rules and the whole appearance of being a "christian" but then one day I decided not to because I was so unhappy with all the rules and restrictions that living became unbearable.I felt why bother because I can't get it right.Since then I have never felt that condemnation the devil likes to put on us.There is a difference conviction comes from God which is the feeling you know you did wrong and now you will repent and move on while condemnation is that guilt of self punishment for eatting a donut when Im on a diet..When you ask God to forgive you of your sins its done..you must accept the forgiveness and move..and alot of ppl out there harp on being a christian bc they weren't good at being anything else.I see alot of these self proclaimed big shots in church esp in the black church and they want to hold to their little titles but that only because they were a loser in the world and found christianty as something they could appear to excel in.They have no healing or grace and they live life just as bad as those who don't front about being a christian..

 

[Sharpened]

Where is the love, sweetie? Aren't we to obey out of love of Him, not the appearance for man?

 

[mango387]

Where is the love, sweetie? Aren't we to obey out of love of Him, not the appearance for man?

It's not all about appearances. When I first started my walk with God, I felt like I really LOVED the Lord with all my heart, soul, etc. As I have grown older, I have been BURNT THE WORST by people who say they love Him. I know people err, because I do. At the same time, I'm like "Don't be a hypocrite." Even in the privacy of my home, I try not to be a hypocrite especially in areas where people will be hurt by my mistakes or sins. (BTW, the two people who have hurt me in my life the most say they love the Lord). Maybe, I need to deal with that first. Thanks, Nymphe and Not Just Another Pretty Face!!!

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Didn't you know those who say the love the Lord hurt ppl the most.I have been run over by christians..that a reason I stay out of church to a degree besides my school schdule..See the church isn't anything but a intensive care unit for lost souls..alot of them aren't like you...your someone who takes her walk with Christ seriously unlike alot of folks..i mean if that was the case I wouldnt see so much hot mess ie homo choir singers,pastors pimping..You Mnago keep being focused on God and don't get weary bc I know it can be tiresome and keep giving God the glory..my greatest compliment is when someone says I see something special in your or there a light in you ..and that when you know your on track with God

 

[plainj]

See that the issue in my opinion..I don't follow Christianty..I follow God.I see Christianty as rules and regulations and not the true followership of God.However because you are aware of your actions and the not so good actions of others you will always do better because you will be aware of your weaknesses.I use to follow doctrine and rules and the whole appearance of being a "christian" but then one day I decided not to because I was so unhappy with all the rules and restrictions that living became unbearable.I felt why bother because I can't get it right.Since then I have never felt that condemnation the devil likes to put on us.There is a difference conviction comes from God which is the feeling you know you did wrong and now you will repent and move on while condemnation is that guilt of self punishment for eatting a donut when Im on a diet..When you ask God to forgive you of your sins its done..you must accept the forgiveness and move..and alot of ppl out there harp on being a christian bc they weren't good at being anything else.I see alot of these self proclaimed big shots in church esp in the black church and they want to hold to their little titles but that only because they were a loser in the world and found christianty as something they could appear to excel in.They have no healing or grace and they live life just as bad as those who don't front about being a christian..

JNAPF, do you consider yourself a Christian? Just curious from the bolded statement.
@mango: Great thread. Great responses. You sound like me. I can't even wear my Christian tshirts when I know I've done anything against my Father. Even cussing. I'm learning not to look at other people and what they are/aren't doing. God will deal with their hearts. I also think the title of "Christian" is used too loosely. Many people who call themselves "Christians" really aren't.

 

[mango387]

You know. I didn't really think about it when I first posted but now is a good time to reevaluate myself anyway.

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

Oh yes I know Im a christian.I don't believe in doctrine and rules...alot of ppl have christianity and being a christian confused..one is the object and one is the actual movement..

 

[CoilyFields]

Psalm 73 (New International Version)

A psalm of Asaph.
1Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.

3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.

4 They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong. [a]

5 They are free from the burdens common to man;
they are not plagued by human ills.

6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.

7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity ;
the evil conceits of their minds know no limits.

8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
in their arrogance they threaten oppression.

9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.

10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance. [c]

11 They say, "How can God know?
Does the Most High have knowledge?"

12 This is what the wicked are like—
always carefree, they increase in wealth.

13 Surely in vain have I kept my heart pure;
in vain have I washed my hands in innocence.

14 All day long I have been plagued;
I have been punished every morning.

15 If I had said, "I will speak thus,"
I would have betrayed your children.

16 When I tried to understand all this,
it was oppressive to me

17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.

18 Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.

19 How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!

20 As a dream when one awakes,
so when you arise, O Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.

21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,

22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.

24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.

25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.

26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.

27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.

28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign LORD my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.

 

[PinkPebbles]

Hi Mango387-

We could never be ‘good’ enough on our own. King David was not perfect but the Lord still declared that “He was a man after God’s own heart”.

The Bible tells us that no one other than Jesus Christ was ever able to live a sinless life. Yet, King David was still called a man after God’s own heart.

David had weaknesses and made mistakes. He was not the best disciplinarian of his kids; he committed adultery with Bathsheba, and then covered it up by ordering her husband’s murder. At times he lacked faith. However, God still loved David and preserved the house of David (Judah) because of his love for David. The Heavenly Father made sure that our Lord Jesus Christ, the Messiah came from the lineage of David.

Likewise, the Lord said David was a man after His own heart because “he will do everything I want him to do.” Acts 13:22

Despite David’s shortcomings God knew his heart. He knew that David would not forsake Him and worship idol gods like his forefathers.

When God sent the prophet Nathan to confront David’s sin with Bathsheba and the murder of her husband, David said “I have sinned against the Lord.” He did not blame Bathsheba, or wanted to shoot the messenger. He simply took responsibility which led him to write Psalm 51. He confessed his sin with a contrite heart, asked for mercy, and for the Lord to create in him a clean heart and renew a right spirit within him.

Mango- It’s now about how we start, but how we finish. As soon as we think that we have ‘arrived’ and know it all, God would show us some hidden things in our heart. When we are confronted like David, it is our job to sincerely repent, confess, and allow the mercy of God to restore us.

The devil loves for Christians to give up when we fall short. He loves for us to hate, slander our very own sisters and brothers in Christ, and disassociate ourselves from the church. It is his job to cause division and strife amongst us because he knows that a house divided against itself cannot stand.

Sweetie, keep your heart open for the preparation of our Lord Jesus Christ. Allow for Him to do a new thing in your life. Don’t allow anyone or anything to separate you from His love. Don’t allow anyone to deter you from worshipping in the house of God or to fellowship with the saints of God.

Everyone is not going to agree with or like you, but that’s ok. You are not here to please man but God. Through our obedience unto the Lord that’s when others are blessed. And He will place other believers in your life to walk with you.

Stay Encouraged

 

[Prudent1]

This Christian lifestyle is a journey not a brisk walk. Along the way we have been warned we will and do encounter many fakers. They sit among us in the church even. Just as pretty face stated, a church is the equivalent of a hospital for sick souls. We would not expect healthy ppl to check into a hospital, they go there b/c they are in need of medical expertise. So it is with a church. Do not forget the parable of the wheat and the tares. There will be imposters in the pews right up until the very end of time. Only at the designated time will they be finally separated. Pick a Psalm, almost any Psalms. In several of them you will see David felt the same way we do sometimes. He felt as if the ppl who weren't serving God were living a good life while he was trying to do right and suffering-but he lived long enough to see the righteousness of God. One of my favorites I read outloud when I feel that way (yes, every blue moon I do) is Psalm 37. Ihave those thoughts/ feelings less and less frequently as I mature in Christ. God is no respector of persons so what he did for David he will do for you( you can see the wrong things they have done righted by God). What God has done to help me and several other ladies to have a change of heart and renew our mind resulting in spritual growth he will do for you. You must not grow weary in your well doing. Hang in there. God never forsakes the righteous. He will not allow his children who have his name to be the perpetual punch line.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

I take Christianity seriously, because I know that both God and people are watching. (Confession: I have experienced someone saying "I thought you were a Christian" when I used foul language in a really stressful situation. To make a long story short, that person's statement hurt really badly. I felt awful b/c I believed that I had "messed" up my witness to that person). Also, I feel like if you are a Christian, then you should try to live up to the standards on pure principle.

As a result, AS SOON AS I discover that I am doing something contrary to what I think God would be pleased with or what the Bible says, I change my behavior, ask forgiveness, etc. To make a long story short, I know that I am not perfect, but I try to be a good Christian (not just going to church but also giving to the needy, etc.) and represent well.

So what's the problem? Sometimes, I feel like there is a void somewhere. I have even wondered what's the point in doing all of this when I know of people who downright vicious and they are "living the good life." Does anyone else know what I'm talking about? Did you find a solution?

I know exactly what you mean. I use to have it bad, wondering why I was trying to do better for myself and refusing to get on welfare, but welfare chicks riding around in benzes on 24 inch rims with their hair done and name brand clothes, all off welfare

Or working hard at an average job, while other people slept their way up the corporate ladder

wishing I could live in a certain type of home or just go clubbing or whatever "regular" people do.

Then one day as I was heavily coveting someone elses life, God gave me a glimpse into their reality. It sort of shook me actually. He told me that although "regular" people may look like they are having a ball and like they got it all going on in all the right areas, the reality is that oftentimes what they have to do to make it look like that is WAY out of line with God. I'm not saying all the time, but I'm speaking from the instances/people/situations in my own surroundings.

Like some welfare chick, could be sleeping around to get her income. she may look great but be a horrible mother.

Some people living in huge homes may have no heat because after the mortgage, they can't afford heat too.

Some thin, pretty people may have deep issues and be obsessive about their eating and exercising to the point that they can't even enjoy food anymore and EVERYTHING has to be about caloric intake, and caloric burning.


you get my point but the main thing is that God showed me that while everyone may appear to have it going on, if they don't have him. . .then they really have nothing. Around this same time Alicia Keys had the song. . ."some people want it all, but I don't want nothing at all if I ain't got you" I began to sing that song to God as a reminder to myself to stay in his line, no matter how long it may seem, because His reward at the end is guaranteed and eternal