Advice: Christian vs Non Christian

[FlawedBeauty]

Hi Ladies,

I'm never in this area as I am not Christian, but I have a question for ya'll. Do you think a relationship can work between someone who is very Christian, and someone who isn't very religious at all.

To the point, I met a really really really great guy but he is Christian, like really Christian. In a band, ministry the whole nine. Myself, I am not really religious, I mean I believe in God but religion is just meh. Do you think I would be wasting my time? Could something like that work.

Opinions would be lovely!!

 

[Almaz]

I have Christian Friends VERY Christian so to speak and we get along just fine and we have wonderful friendships just as long as they don't push the Jesus on me we are just fine because I am SURELY not trying to convert them.

We have a lot of the same morals and values as far as family and life so we click on that.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

thanks so much for your reply!!

 

[Guitarhero]

Not without compromise. It' not just friendship but a relationship that could lead to marriage, right? Someone will have to compromise his observance/lack of observance level to accommodate the other partner. That might cause stress. Interfaith relationships do work but not without strong comnmittment and rules set up beforehand. You have to arrive at a level of understanding of what can be allowed and what cannot be.

 

[ladykaya]

Yeah I have friends who are either really Christian or atheist or even Muslim. I guess I'm a medium. I worship God and talk about Him but I don't force I know when I was dating though I wouldn't settle. I believed the man I should be with would believe in God and accept Jesus and thats probably where my religious beliefs would stop me from being with someone, but I would still be friends with them. My husband isn't ultra religious but he does believe in God. I was raised in the church so I guess to him I would be, but I don't force religion on anyone.

As long as you believe I'm sure you wouldn't be wasting your time, but you would have to be respectful of his worship, meaning you can't be mad at him for wanting to go to a church function with you instead of a party. But at the same time he should understand that you deal with your faith in your own way and shouldn't push.

I hope this helps!

 

[PittGirl06]

Yes, I think that there should definitely be some "rules" set up beforehand. These relationships could work, but both parties have to understand each other and not try to force the other to be like them and believe what they believe. Then, if you guys ever have children, you'd have to consider how they would be raised....and that could be an issue. Good luck though!

 

[CoilyFields]

I once had a relationship with someone who was not Christian...barely believed in God and I can be considered "uber religious" to some. At first it was ok cause we only talked religion in debate form. We had fun etc. and were together for a couple years but I realized that I could never marry him becuase we did not share the same basic foundational beliefs. As long as we lived two seperate lives then that wasnt really a problem but marrying...there were too many issues that would arise.

I also had a friend who was really hurt because a guy she liked and dated wouldnt take it further with her even though he liked her, because she was not Christian and he knew that was a requirement in a possible wife.

Sometimes its better to just remain friends rather than get feelings involved...

 

[FlawedBeauty]

thing is he seems to be more of the one persuing me. so if my not being christian was an issue for him in terms of marriage i dont think he would bother (but i could be wrong), because he is definitely ready to settle down with someone, so i feel like if he knew it was a requirement he wouldnt waste his time.

im very go with the flow, as long as he doesnt try and push religion on me im good. what do you feel the issues would have been that would arise Coily?

thanks for you input

I once had a relationship with someone who was not Christian...barely believed in God and I can be considered "uber religious" to some. At first it was ok cause we only talked religion in debate form. We had fun etc. and were together for a couple years but I realized that I could never marry him becuase we did not share the same basic foundational beliefs. As long as we lived two seperate lives then that wasnt really a problem but marrying...there were too many issues that would arise.

I also had a friend who was really hurt because a guy she liked and dated wouldnt take it further with her even though he liked her, because she was not Christian and he knew that was a requirement in a possible wife.

Sometimes its better to just remain friends rather than get feelings involved...

 

[Crown]

You said : I am not Christian.
Your really really really great Christian guy knows this :
2Cor. 6.14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers…

I agree with this post, something like that could not work.

I once had a relationship with someone who was not Christian...barely believed in God and I can be considered "uber religious" to some. At first it was ok cause we only talked religion in debate form. We had fun etc. and were together for a couple years but I realized that I could never marry him becuase we did not share the same basic foundational beliefs. As long as we lived two seperate lives then that wasnt really a problem but marrying...there were too many issues that would arise.

I also had a friend who was really hurt because a guy she liked and dated wouldnt take it further with her even though he liked her, because she was not Christian and he knew that was a requirement in a possible wife.

Sometimes its better to just remain friends rather than get feelings involved...

But, you also said : I believe in God but religion is just meh.
You have the basic : you believe in God.
Who knows if this really great guy is not your witness to Jesus-Christ?
I know some examples like that.
By the way, believing in Jesus-Christ is by faith, not by religion.

Some decisions are just personal and at own risk.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

I wouldn't say something like that could never work. A friend of mine's parents have been married for many years. His father is Jewish and I can't recall what his mother is, but it was such a big deal that it was i the news papers and everything.

I dont know anything about Christians, I am Catholic myself (is that the same lol), but are there like new Christians or something. He has tattoos and things, he seems kind of alternative, but not when it comes to his religion if that makes any sense.

Oh, and is this to say that Christians only marry other Christians?

You said : I am not Christian.
Your really really really great Christian guy knows this :
2Cor. 6.14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers…

I agree with this post, something like that could not work.


But, you also said : I believe in God but religion is just meh.
You have the basic : you believe in God.
Who knows if this really great guy is not your witness to Jesus-Christ?
I know some examples like that.
By the way, believing in Jesus-Christ is by faith, not by religion.

Some decisions are just personal and at own risk.

 

[Crown]

I wouldn't say something like that could never work. A friend of mine's parents have been married for many years. His father is Jewish and I can't recall what his mother is, but it was such a big deal that it was i the news papers and everything.

I dont know anything about Christians, I am Catholic myself (is that the same lol), but are there like new Christians or something. He has tattoos and things, he seems kind of alternative, but not when it comes to his religion if that makes any sense.
I am trying to understand : you are Catholic but you don't believe in Jesus-Christ?
Oh, and is this to say that Christians only marry other Christians?

I was referencing to the Bible. Free will exists : Christians do what they choose to do, according to the Bible, an interpretation or their desire.

Take the time to know him better and to be sure about what you want.
May God bless you and guide you!

 

[FlawedBeauty]

I didn't have a say in whether or not I wanted to be Catholic.

My mom had me baptized when I was a baby, and I was in Catholic school my whole life.

I don't know what I believe to be honest. I believe there is a God, we are here somehow. But I have a hard time believing the stories that are in the bible. I hope you don't think I'm being disrespectful, I'm just trying to give you some info about my thoughts.

I am trying to understand : you are Catholic but you don't believe in Jesus-Christ? !

 

[Crown]

I didn't have a say in whether or not I wanted to be Catholic.

My mom had me baptized when I was a baby, and I was in Catholic school my whole life.

I don't know what I believe to be honest. I believe there is a God, we are here somehow. But I have a hard time believing the stories that are in the bible. I hope you don't think I'm being disrespectful, I'm just trying to give you some info about my thoughts.

Not at all, dear. I think you are sincere, thank you.

If you really want to know more about God, ask/pray Him, He will reveal Himself to you. I believe God is working on you and has already prepared a way for you and this way is about to be manifested, with or without this nice Christian guy.

Welcome to the Christian forum!

 

[Guitarhero]

You said : I am not Christian.
Your really really really great Christian guy knows this :
2Cor. 6.14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers…

I agree with this post, something like that could not work.


But, you also said : I believe in God but religion is just meh.
You have the basic : you believe in God.
Who knows if this really great guy is not your witness to Jesus-Christ?
I know some examples like that.
By the way, believing in Jesus-Christ is by faith, not by religion.

Some decisions are just personal and at own risk.

She might believe in God but might not be a christian, as in, raised in another religious tradition. Believing in God doesn't exclude those who don't believe Jesus is God.

 

[Crown]

She might believe in God but might not be a christian, as in, raised in another religious tradition. Believing in God doesn't exclude those who don't believe Jesus is God.

This thread is not so long. Seriously, did you really take the time to read my post and others?
BTW, she said she was raised Catholic.

 

[Aviah]

I didn't have a say in whether or not I wanted to be Catholic.

My mom had me baptized when I was a baby, and I was in Catholic school my whole life.

I don't know what I believe to be honest. I believe there is a God, we are here somehow. But I have a hard time believing the stories that are in the bible. I hope you don't think I'm being disrespectful, I'm just trying to give you some info about my thoughts.

This is a random side bar:
You don't have to be Catholic. Catholics follow Catholicism, the same way Muslims follow Islam. If you do not believe, and do not follow, then you can choose not to be anymore. I would go so far as to say that if you never held that faith, you never were Catholic. I too was baptized Catholic but never followed it- I never was Catholic. Faith is not like genes that your parents pass to you, but a choice you make for yourself, regardless your parents influence . Please note that I am not attacking you, just just stating something.

To answer your question, it does work sometimes between people of faith and those who aren't at the same place in their faith/ of a different faith/no faith. However there has to be compromise, which can get very messy. I personally would not do it, as the requirements/expectations for a Christian in marriage are different (most likely) to those who do not adhere to the bible.

All the best x

 

[nathansgirl1908]

Hi Ladies,

I'm never in this area as I am not Christian, but I have a question for ya'll. Do you think a relationship can work between someone who is very Christian, and someone who isn't very religious at all.

To the point, I met a really really really great guy but he is Christian, like really Christian. In a band, ministry the whole nine. Myself, I am not really religious, I mean I believe in God but religion is just meh. Do you think I would be wasting my time? Could something like that work.

Opinions would be lovely!!

No. I don't think so. The ideological differences are just too broad and far-reaching. And at some point, whether people want to admit it or not, one person is going to try to influence the other. Usually the Christian person is the one who does that.

I find it interesting that he is so religious but is pursuing someone who isn't. I suspect he thinks that in time you will change your mind and that he will have a hand in helping you change your mind.

I know a couple right now who are in this situation. And it is causing major rifts, right down to their decision on whether to have sex or not.

 

[FlawedBeauty]

thank you. the bold is exactly what i was afraid of. he doesn't bring up religion much at all and i asked him if that would change as he maybe got more comfortable. because i don't want to be constantly bombarded with it down the road ya know (i didn't say that last part, maybe i should have?) but here was his reply:

i don't push it, it's just who i am. i'm not a salesman trying to sell it. but it is a part of me and my hope is that it just naturally reflects.

its a tough call because at this point i guess i just have to believe him and take it a day at a time. im more concerned with wasting his time than my own because I am not on the hunt for a guy, i mean im open to a relationship of course but not searching for one, and he seems to be ready for a relationship and such.

No. I don't think so. The ideological differences are just too broad and far-reaching. And at some point, whether people want to admit it or not, one person is going to try to influence the other. Usually the Christian person is the one who does that.

I find it interesting that he is so religious but is pursuing someone who isn't. I suspect he thinks that in time you will change your mind and that he will have a hand in helping you change your mind.

I know a couple right now who are in this situation. And it is causing major rifts, right down to their decision on whether to have sex or not.

 

[Vonnieluvs08]

As a Christian and a person who has been in this situation, I think it is better for you to let him go. I've actually found that it is the opposite situation, then previously mentioned, where the person who is a non-believer actually starts to cause the believer to stumble in their walk with the Lord. The thinking, actions, habits, etc of the non-believer begin to wear off on the believe and things they may have stopped doing once becoming a believer (cursing, sexual activity/kissing, alcohol, etc) they find themselves starting to do or contemplate doing. I'm only saying this from my personal experience and from the experiences othes have shared with me as I was dealing with this situation.

I am not saying you are a bad person or that you are corrupting him or anything negative, my friend is a really nice guy. It is true that when you spend a lot of time around a person they begin to rub off on you. This can go either way him to you, or you to him. But you should be mindful of this as well and maybe even approach the subject with him. HTH!

 

[Ms Lala]

I think it will eventually become an issue especially if you plan to have children later in life. I have seen it really be a problem when one person wants to raise the children w/a certain religion and the other partner is against it.

 

[Lylddlebit]

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