Have Extensions or Wigs Affected How You Feel About Your Own Hair?

[jouissance]

Have Extensions, Weaves or Wigs Affected How You Feel About Your Own Hair?

Hi Ladies,
With your wonderful help and knowledge I am just getting together a real hair regimen and some knowledge about how to take care of my hair. I'm starting a new job in a couple of weeks, though, and I've begun to consider (for the first time) wigs in order to allow me to care for my hair without day-in, day-out styling. I'm concerned, however, that fake hair will only lead to more frustrations with my natural hair's imperfections, especially since I will probably buy human hair wigs. In other words, I don't want to become emotionally or psychologically reliant on added hair and have to go through that whole good hair/bad hair nonsense in my own head that I went through when I first transitioned to natural. Please help--tell me; have extensions, weaves or wigs affected how you feel about your own hair? And if you wig or weave, do you do it continuously? Do you feel inauthentic or fake when you are wearing added hair? Thanks a lot!

 

[Nonie]

Please help--tell me; have extensions or wigs affected how you feel about your own hair? And if you wig or weave, do you do it continuously? Do you feel inauthentic or fake when you are wearing added hair? Thanks a lot!

No extensions (which I have worn straight for the last ten years except for 25 months here and there when I wore my own hair) have not changed how I feel about my hair. I have always liked my hair. Just wanted it long. When I relaxed, it was just for a change of style and I believe that would make my hair grow long. When I wear braids, I don't ever get it twisted and think of it as my hair. It might as well be a hat or headwrap--it's just a convenient way to wear and grow my hair that works for me. So no, I am still besotted with my hair when I do take them out as I was before I put them in.

Yes, I wear extensions continuously. The shortest time I've worn them is one year straight.

No, I don't feel fake any more than I'd feel fake wearing clothes and not walking around in the suit I was born with. I think it's because I have never worn "fake" hair as a way to change the person I am so I still feel very much me with it on. And when I take my extensions off or put them in, there's no hand wringing and deep thought that goes into it...so it doesn't affect how I feel or act or think. It's just another "garnish on the pie that I am".

 

[amwcah]

Throughout my HHJ and hiding my hair, I have worn braids, buns, wigs, and sew-ins, respectively. I feel confident and comfortable when I wear the hair.

For the next year, I will wear only sew-ins. I wear them for 2-3 months. I know that the sew-in is temporary so I and others don't have an issue with it. Also, I'm not trying to pass the hair off as my own so I don't feel fake about wearing it.

 

[jouissance]

It's just another "garnish on the pie that I am".

I love this quote. I'm only recently coming to think of hair as an *accessory* rather than a body part and I think that the comparison to a hat or a headdress is very apt. Thanks for that.

 

[Amerie2304]

Tremendously! Before I BC'd in July, my hair was long but I would add tracks to make it fuller and even longer. When I would take the tracks out, I always felt like my hair alone didn't compare. So eventually I started wearing tracks all the time. My hair is 4 inches now and I'm DYING to put a curly weave in or phony pony but I'm scared I'll get used to how I look with it and end up not feeling happy with my natural hair, starting the same destructive pattern again.

 

[jouissance]

Tremendously! Before I BC'd in July, my hair was long but I would add tracks to make it fuller and even longer. When I would take the tracks out, I always felt like my hair alone didn't compare. So eventually I started wearing tracks all the time. My hair is 4 inches now and I'm DYING to put a curly weave in or phony pony but I'm scared I'll get used to how I look with it and end up not feeling happy with my natural hair, starting the same destructive pattern again.

Thanks for sharing, Amerie. I feel like so many women I know have what I call 'weave panic'. If they can't throw some more in, they are not feeling themselves or the world. They throw it under a baseball cap until they can cop some more tracks. I so don't want to be that person. And on the other hand, I don't want to be skulking around looking guilty and shady because I know the hair on my head isn't real.

 

[IrrationalThoughts]

No. I love my hair even more when I take down braids and the 1 weave I had. I am nervous to try wigs cuz nothing comes close to my hair in any of it's schizo forms.

 

[NaturalBoss]

I'm currently wearing a wig and I've worn braids and kinky twists (w/ extensions), fake pony tails, etc., on many occasions, even when I had long hair to begin with. It doesn't have an affect how I feel about my hair at all. I actually like my own hair better than the wig, it's just a protective style. I don't think wearing a wig or weave will affect how anybody feels about their own hair unless they already have some kind of complex about their hair in the first place.

 

[nzeee]

i have to admit that i get so used to looking at myself w/ a wig or braids (i've only had a weave for about 3-4mths) that when i do take the extension hair down to do henna treatment or wash i'm always initially surprised at how short it still is.

but after that initial shock wears off and i complete a dc i fall inlove w/ the softness of it. i CANNOT stop touching my hair and looking at it after a good dc.

so i guess my answer is that yes, initially after a while you get used to your reflection w/ the extension hair but then if you take care of your hair underneath you'll love it too.

 

[Jewell]

I've worn sew-ins, clip-on extensions, drawstring ponies, and wigs, but I still enjoy my own hair. I only used those items (even with BSL-MBL length hair) to change up my look and give my own hair break from constant styling. These days I love the way my hair is growing, it's just easier and more convenient for me to slap a wig on than damage my hair during the transition (where the demarcation line is fragile). I've grown to LOVE wigs and weaves, and even if I had hair to my butt I'd still rock 'em every now and then to spice things up! )

 

[Duchesse]

Yes. In short I've been wearing wigs for about 7-8 months now, through my transition, to my BC in July, and presently. This past weekend I had an intervention of sorts with my bff, and I realized that I've grown so accustomed to wearing wigs with length, that I didn't feel as attractive with my short natural hair out. This past Saturday-to Weds. I made a pledge to wear my natural hair out (I went back to my wig today), and it was the first time since my BC. I felt naked and exposed. I got so used to the extra weight of a wig on my head, w/o it, I felt strange.

I've been bald as an eagle, froed out, twisted, etc, in the past, but somehow recently, I've become that girl who couldn't go outside without her hair on. It made me a bit sad to recognize this in myself.

I'm still going to be wearing my wigs and I think their great for protecting, and I love the ease of them, but I'm going to make sure I wear my own hair at least a week out the month. (I could tell my co-workers were like "Oh..she really does has hair of her own!"). My natural hair is beautiful and healthy, and I don't want to forget that....nor do I want to be so length obsessed anymore.

 

[FRESHstart101]

yes. i have single-braids in right now, and even though ANYONE WITH EYES can clearly see it's not my hair i just feel like i'm getting too attached and reliant on them.

 

[femmemuscle]

i've worn weaves for so many years.. we're talking 15-20 years,maybe even more. Coming out and embracing my natural 4b texture was so, not easy versus hiding it all under a straight weave. I came up in a time where weaves were a quick-fix. The words "protective-style" were not in our vocabulary. This was in the late '70's early 80's.

I came to this forum about 2-3 years ago, and not knowing how to "put words to it correctly" according to the more "experienced" members in their natural journey.. i had a reaction to seeing 4b texture on my own head from a different perspective.

i was e-lynched, side-eyed, beat up, judged, put on "ignore" (probably still am), criticized, condemned and some folks may have had some serious tribal counsel with those pm's that day. but i stood my ground and observed. In time, i was able to by-pass the "critics" and listen to those who understood my dilemna.

(i was new to the forum and that was the first time i had about 200 responses after starting a thread)..

Thank goodness for the very few that helped me in my journey and understood. I have noticed when i lurk here, those very ones are an immense help to the newbies on their journey. (bless you)..

When i finally had to deal with my own texture, it was hard. I secretly hoped that one day, my hair would be the 3a or 2c texture that i've always "worn" on my head.

I was so uneducated about my own hair that it took 2+ years to learn to embrace it. and learn that i was born with 4b textured hair. End of story. Then it got better.. i learned how to work with it.

I knew every trick in the book on how to take care of a straight or wavy weave, hide tracks, flat iron, crimp, style and curl. But was totally clueless regarding my own short 4b textured.

Caressing those long, silky tresses that weren't mine. and that dramatic flipping the hair over the shoulder while answering the phone. It made me feel "uber" feminine, sexy..and in some strange way - "empowered".. or as if i was on a video..

straight men didn't care if it was a weave or not.. long locks was a virtual man-magnet...

whereas having short, tightly coiled locks at first, made me feel as if i'd lost my feminity, and far less sexy. I didn't measure up to the other cultures who knew the power of long hair.

Each day, is a journey for me. With weaves, i was always "noticed" when i went out.. But for the wrong reason -the butt or waist length fake hair.

Now folks approach me because of my smile, personality, but most of all my show of class, education and confidence. (i didn't realize that this could be brought out from within - regardless of the length of one's hair)..

thus, even if you wear a wig, as long as you're also confident with what's underneath.. the hair (whether it's your's or the BSS) truly doesn't matter..good luck with your job!

 

[ScarletPhoenix]

I love long hair and I don't care if I buy it or grow it....either way its mine! I personally have worn wigs or LF for the past year and now getting into rocking U shaped wigs that allow me to leave some of my hair out while protecting 90% of my hair all the time and I believe that this is allowing me to achieve the length that I want my natural hair to be. I have never felt fake because I don't walk around pretending its mine, when someone says its nice I tell them where they can buy it lol. I have no shame about my game at all. I love me and know that I am so much more than my hair. I also know the limits that I have with my hair and love the versatility that I can get with weaves and wigs. I guess it depends on the person but my hair never has nor will it ever define me. I love my natural hair and love my kinky straight weave that I am getting sent to me!

 

[transitioning?]

that was a touching story femmemuscle. Thank you for sharing

 

[iri9109]

yes. i have single-braids in right now, and even though ANYONE WITH EYES can clearly see it's not my hair i just feel like i'm getting too attached and reliant on them.

Thanks for sharing, Amerie. I feel like so many women I know have what I call 'weave panic'. If they can't throw some more in, they are not feeling themselves or the world. They throw it under a baseball cap until they can cop some more tracks. I so don't want to be that person. And on the other hand, I don't want to be skulking around looking guilty and shady because I know the hair on my head isn't real.

Tremendously! Before I BC'd in July, my hair was long but I would add tracks to make it fuller and even longer. When I would take the tracks out, I always felt like my hair alone didn't compare. So eventually I started wearing tracks all the time. My hair is 4 inches now and I'm DYING to put a curly weave in or phony pony but I'm scared I'll get used to how I look with it and end up not feeling happy with my natural hair, starting the same destructive pattern again.

im wearing weaves as PS's until my BC anniversary, and i've had my current install in for over a month, and i plan on taking it down soon...i want to give my hair a break for atleast a week b4 reinstalling, but the other day i told my friends that i was gonna wear beanies for a week because i dont want people to see my hair like that...i'm even planning to take it down on a day that will leave me with the minimum amount of days i have to go to school without my weave...its not like they never saw it before ( i wore my short natural hair out for 6 months before getting my weave), but im so used to having this long luxurious hair, that its like my own hair pales in comparison and i dont wanna ditch my rapunzel hair for a lil shrunken wash and go (plus since thats the only style i can successfully do, and its getting colder out, i dont wanna have to co-wash everday and then have to use blowdryer to diffuse because it will take too long to airdry)...and the weave matches my hair texture perfectly...ppl who didnt know me b4 the weave thought it was my hair....even some ppl who saw me with my twa since march thought my hair grew...so its not even a texture thing...its just the length that im attached to. i still love my hair...but i love the weave too.

 

[HollyGolightly]

I transitioned and grew my hair out to a little past shoulder length with weaves. I only felt "weave panic" when I first stopped wearing them and switched to wigs. It took me a couple months to learn how to style and get comfortable with my newly natural hair. I'd wear wigs out in public and play around with my hair at home.

Now I love my natural hair! I have to wear fake, straight hair at work and I'm always eager to get home and get back to the real me.

 

[halee_J]

For a while they did. My hair was very damaged so I decide to wear HW as a PS. There was a big difference between my hair and the wig, I didn't want anyone to see my own hair. I had "wig panic". I had to remind myself that with consistent care, my hair would look as good or better than the wig. After a few months and my hair's condition improved, I became less dependent on the wigs. Now I see them as a PS or accessory not a crutch.

I can see now how easily one can develop a dependency on them.

 

[jouissance]

So many great experiences, ladies. Thank you. I think I see a common theme that not being comfortable with your hair length, texture or condition is the real issue and that added hair can exacerbate that (or not), depending on the person. I think for me I'm not happy with the condition of my hair right now and some long and sexy Indian is just going to make me feel worse about it so for the meantime, I'll try to work on my reggie and bun during those off days. If I wigged right now, it would be about hiding and it wouldn't be healthy for me. Maybe a few months down the line...