virgo_chinwe
Well-Known Member
Made you feel like your (short) hair was the missing link to the totality of your beauty?
Beware extra long post:
Let me elucidate my reason for posting this. Lately I has occurred to me that black women who wear no weaves/wigs/extensions and their own hair is of considerable length (shoulder length and beyond) have become the next best thing to hit up the block since the discovery of white females with booty. All of a sudden I have finally grasped a hold of the average black man’s standard of beauty. Physically they want someone who is naturally beautiful. And long, healthy hair is a good indicator of how black women maintain themselves. But if you have ever been in the same room when a group of guys are watching a Beyonce, Janet Jackson, or Cassie video from their comments you can tell that most of the men set the standard of other women based on these stars but the majority of these women wear some form of a hair piece whenever on TV! It seems seems extremely unfair to be scrutinized about my hair being real when these women have hair stylists to make their hair appear real (most men have no idea of this).
My rant is obviously inspired by a close male friend I have feelings for. Let me give you a little background about him. All the past females he has held romantic relationships with have been mixed with African American heritage and another non-black ethnicity or Hispanic. And whenever he speaks of them he always seems to mention what qualities he liked about them specifically their hair. Ladies, lets be real these girls definitely do not have no 4a/4b hair, you feel me? And once he gets on the hair topic…my hair automatically becomes the issue and the intense inspection of my hair begins. The puzzled expression that most white people get when they want to ask you---“How did you get your hair like that or is your hair real†appears on his face. Then the questions begin, “How come I have never seen your real hair? I don’t feel like I can see the real you beyond your hair extensions (a wig that I choose to wear for variety and with my real hair I keep up a low maintenance upkeep with daily moisturizing and weekly washing/conditioning). I usually ignore him and excuse his ignorance b/c his sister never wears weaves but a couple days ago he said something that really pissed me off.
Days prior to the incident I had helped him take down his cornrows and as he was combing knots out of his hair I noticed he was having a lot of breakage and it was a surprise to me that he even retained length, but I didn’t say anything then 1) because he takes a lot of pride in the fact that he “thinks†his hair is longer than most black females 2) he feels blessed that his hair is not “too African†3) females on campus on help his hair ego by calling him the black guy with long hair. His hair is about shoulder length and besides excessive breakage he also suffers from major anorexia issues (his hair is super, sickly thin when pressed). (Please keep in mind that he basically has his hair in cornrows all year round and ONLY washes it when he’s ready to take it down which is about every 6 weeks and receives a press afterwards and he works out on the regular). A couple days later, I see him messing with his hair in the bathroom and I recommend a protein treatment 1) to stop breakage 2) add thickness. He blatantly tells me that he doesn’t trust me with his hair because he has never seen mine. At first, I wanted to cuss him out but I am guilty of the same---I hardly take LHCFers advice for all its worth if I have not seen progress pics. But I think what really hurts most is the fact that I know that (and he has made comments insinuating) that I do not know how to take care of my hair. He has become the driving force for me to grow my black African healthy, thick, long and strong to prove him wrong.
So ladies give me your input? What have you done in situations like this?
Beware extra long post:
Let me elucidate my reason for posting this. Lately I has occurred to me that black women who wear no weaves/wigs/extensions and their own hair is of considerable length (shoulder length and beyond) have become the next best thing to hit up the block since the discovery of white females with booty. All of a sudden I have finally grasped a hold of the average black man’s standard of beauty. Physically they want someone who is naturally beautiful. And long, healthy hair is a good indicator of how black women maintain themselves. But if you have ever been in the same room when a group of guys are watching a Beyonce, Janet Jackson, or Cassie video from their comments you can tell that most of the men set the standard of other women based on these stars but the majority of these women wear some form of a hair piece whenever on TV! It seems seems extremely unfair to be scrutinized about my hair being real when these women have hair stylists to make their hair appear real (most men have no idea of this).
My rant is obviously inspired by a close male friend I have feelings for. Let me give you a little background about him. All the past females he has held romantic relationships with have been mixed with African American heritage and another non-black ethnicity or Hispanic. And whenever he speaks of them he always seems to mention what qualities he liked about them specifically their hair. Ladies, lets be real these girls definitely do not have no 4a/4b hair, you feel me? And once he gets on the hair topic…my hair automatically becomes the issue and the intense inspection of my hair begins. The puzzled expression that most white people get when they want to ask you---“How did you get your hair like that or is your hair real†appears on his face. Then the questions begin, “How come I have never seen your real hair? I don’t feel like I can see the real you beyond your hair extensions (a wig that I choose to wear for variety and with my real hair I keep up a low maintenance upkeep with daily moisturizing and weekly washing/conditioning). I usually ignore him and excuse his ignorance b/c his sister never wears weaves but a couple days ago he said something that really pissed me off.
Days prior to the incident I had helped him take down his cornrows and as he was combing knots out of his hair I noticed he was having a lot of breakage and it was a surprise to me that he even retained length, but I didn’t say anything then 1) because he takes a lot of pride in the fact that he “thinks†his hair is longer than most black females 2) he feels blessed that his hair is not “too African†3) females on campus on help his hair ego by calling him the black guy with long hair. His hair is about shoulder length and besides excessive breakage he also suffers from major anorexia issues (his hair is super, sickly thin when pressed). (Please keep in mind that he basically has his hair in cornrows all year round and ONLY washes it when he’s ready to take it down which is about every 6 weeks and receives a press afterwards and he works out on the regular). A couple days later, I see him messing with his hair in the bathroom and I recommend a protein treatment 1) to stop breakage 2) add thickness. He blatantly tells me that he doesn’t trust me with his hair because he has never seen mine. At first, I wanted to cuss him out but I am guilty of the same---I hardly take LHCFers advice for all its worth if I have not seen progress pics. But I think what really hurts most is the fact that I know that (and he has made comments insinuating) that I do not know how to take care of my hair. He has become the driving force for me to grow my black African healthy, thick, long and strong to prove him wrong.
So ladies give me your input? What have you done in situations like this?
