Getting married advice

[LadyAmani]

Hi, ladies i am so torn. My fiance and i have a two year old daughter and a house. We do not have much money, and i am torn between having a small church ceremony, and then everyone go out for dinner afterwards ( ppl would have to pay for themselves.) or waiting a year to save money and use our income tax to get married. However we could really use that income tax to put nicer furniture in our house, currently we have no dressers in our bedroom. or area rugs in several rooms which we need. Sometimes i convince myself that we may get money back from the wedding (from guests.) and we can use that to help with new furniture.

I know what sounds like the most logical thing to do is, and partly do not want to wait a whole year to get married just to have a nice wedding because, i want to do whats right in gods eyes. It's just so hard especially since my family is religious and tells us to get married now, and do something nice when we have the money. However, my fiance family are not that religious they tell us to wait till next year to have a nice wedding. (They have money, they actually bought are house for us. And i think they are pressuring us to go big because they want to show off for their friends.)

I know it sounds like mixed up rambling but i feel torn. I need outside advice.

 

[LucieLoo12]

I believe you should make the decision to do a small church wedding. Weddings are not meant to impress other people but to make vows before God. You know that it is not right to be living with a man that you are not married, so fix the situation to make it honorable and right before God. It's not about how man is pleased but we want God to pleased with us. You say wait a year, but the bible says tomorrow is not promised, so make it right while you have the chance..

As for as your needs in your home...do what's right and God will move for you. You can't let others dictate how you will run your life or your home...but we let the word of God lead you. You have to know that God will take care of you and your family, but we must do those things that we know are right to do.


I will be praying your strength sis

 

[Laela]

LadyAmani... what type of wedding you and your fiance want to have?

 

[LadyAmani]

Laela I just want to have something nice, I've always dreamed of having an intimate garden ceremony, and honestly just would love to have a outdoor bbq. I just want everyone to have a good time, and my fiance and i to have a good time.

 

[LadyAmani]

I believe you should make the decision to do a small church wedding. Weddings are not meant to impress other people but to make vows before God. You know that it is not right to be living with a man that you are not married, so fix the situation to make it honorable and right before God. It's not about how man is pleased but we want God to pleased with us. You say wait a year, but the bible says tomorrow is not promised, so make it right while you have the chance..

As for as your needs in your home...do what's right and God will move for you. You can't let others dictate how you will run your life or your home...but we let the word of God lead you. You have to know that God will take care of you and your family, but we must do those things that we know are right to do.


I will be praying your strength sis

Lucieloo12 you are right, i just pray there was a way to do that, and not have regret about the way i did it.

 

[Lucie]

Have a nice little wedding and go to dinne aftewards. You can get a nice white dress, and all of your loved ones. I saw a thread this morning some in OT IIRC about many people getting married and renting out restaurants with a nice little patio area. Win-win! Get the things you need. Congratulations! Marriage is a beautiful thing.

 

[Black Ambrosia]

How much money are we talking about here? Maybe there is a compromise. Perhaps you could have a small church ceremony with a continental style breakfast. I know a few people that have had weddings with very light food and then hosted close friends and family at their home or hotel hospitality suite the next day for a brunch or lunch. It ends up being really nice and intimate and the family and friends are there to open presents and whatnot.

 

[LucieLoo12]

You can do a nice ceremony for cheap.....

 

[NinasLongAmbition]

You can also get married in the Pastor's office after getting your official marriage license. So you can be right with God and receive blessings and prayer for your union and than plan for the big reception for next year? I dont know if that's an option, just an idea.

 

[Laela]

I understand ... and "nice" shouldn't have a price tag. There's this saying, the wedding is for "them" and the marriage for "us". Some folks live by that. You still could do an intimate garden ceremony and the bbq without overspending. I hope that what is most important to you and fiance set the pace for the ceremony you decide on.

I'd asked because we did a small ceremony (immediate family on both sides) and went out to eat afterward and wine/cake at our place after that. Mainly, our immediate plans didn't include a big or even medium-sized wedding so, we opted for an intimate (glad you used that word) ceremony instead. It was just right. I hope it all works out for you. i pray you don't allow any pressure from anyone to cause you to spend or overspend. Don't need to spend thousands to have a memorable wedding. After everyone is gone, cake is eating, drinks are drank, pix taken, balloons popped.....it'll be just you two and that's when the journey begins... All the best.

Laela I just want to have something nice, I've always dreamed of having an intimate garden ceremony, and honestly just would love to have a outdoor bbq. I just want everyone to have a good time, and my fiance and i to have a good time.

 

[LadyAmani]

Thanks everyone for the advice, I am keeping it in prayer.