Finding Your Hair Comfort Zone

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Before the thread gets dismantled I would like to share something.

1. For so long this has been a hairsite where I felt totally welcomed as a natural and I still do.
2. I was able to ooh and ah along with everyone else in all sincereity when someone achieved their hair length goals and it did not matter whether they were natural or relaxed to me.
3. The ladies who are relaxed and obviously have healthy looking, well cared for thick hair and long have really been an inspiration to me because it showed me the potential and versatility of black hair. I was so encouraged because it was living proof of so many years of negativity about the " limitations on the black race" and being told that if you are a black woman, forget it, you can't touch this!"..to which I say, maybe I cannot because of my allergies and sensitivities but there are many that can. I personally applaud the "relaxed ladies that have such beautiful, healthy, swinging thick hair...and I have no doubt that they love themselves and their hair and that they do not have an identity crisis but they do know what their personal preferences are and refuse to be intimidated by what any others have to say.
4. I am so encouraged when I see natural haired ladies with long hair because I can see the potential of natural hair and I just keep pressing on. But I expecially appreciate that on this site, I am free to say, that if I thought I would suffer no damage, I would relax enough to show the length and not be called a hypocrite by the relaxed people and hopefully not be called a sell out by the natural ladies.
5. As a licensed stylist, I along with every lady here am well aware of the dangers of chemicals and although I may occasionally comment about my personal observations and my personal fears which prevent me from relaxing (that is being totally honest)...my self worth does not lie in having natural hair...and believe me I work hard to keep it looking its very best at all times. I would never dream of just getting up and going without attending to my coiffure. My self respect demands that I do. I do know that should I ever try relaxing... the relaxed ladies would knock themselves out to walk me through it and give me all kinds of supportive advice...no lectures...no I told you so's...just support me, because after being on the site for so long I feel that everyone knows where I stand and what I want to achieve and they care about what happens to me and my hair. That is why, I would never want to hurt anyone, relaxed or natural because I assume that we are all looking for the same thing. Not once did anyone relaxed say "But Mahalialee you claim to be natural, what's up with that...and read me the riot act on relaxers or made me feel like I was leaving one side to join the other, when I have often stated that I would relax if I knew a product would give me what I want with no damage so that my hair would actually hang at its length. I am not on the long hair site for nothing! I really appreciate the consideration I have been shown here. I will treat the relaxed ladies with the same respect and acceptance they have treated me and everybody else should do the same. I hate the relaxed vs natural drama when it is stated as a moral character judgement. Then it starts to sound like your religion vs mine and you are going to hell if you don't change and give up them relaxers! Of course people will get upset because this is not the board for it! And I truly hope that it all stops!
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Bonjour
 
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