Elders tell DH to not take promotion..help!

[Laela]

Amein...everything ought to be done decently and in order, esp when dealing with members of the Body of Christ...

Amour, it's good that you can fellowship with other believers and ask their opinions. However, I encourage you to please be sure that you leave that church in the right spirit, as Shimmie mentioned, else it will affect you adversely. 'See ya, don't wanna be ya' will harm you, not anyone else.

There are certain responsibilities a pastor has to his congregants and vice versa, even if these elders are operating in a jezebel spirit I don't think that they just just up and leave without a word...

they may not get the 'release' they desire but as members of that church they should say that they are leaving and why, having respect for the pastor and the office that he holds is scriptural and they should make every effort to keep peace

 

[Guitarhero]

There are certain responsibilities a pastor has to his congregants and vice versa, even if these elders are operating in a jezebel spirit I don't think that they just just up and leave without a word...

they may not get the 'release' they desire but as members of that church they should say that they are leaving and why, having respect for the pastor and the office that he holds is scriptural and they should make every effort to keep peace

Why not? They sound like a cult making the OP and her husband feel they "owe" the pastorship their livelihood. If you change, then change. Better to leave quietly without fanfare than alert somebody WHERE you are moving and having them harass you over it. Respect goes both ways. Keeping peace is removing yourself from a dangerous situation. What on earth do they "owe" this church? Sure, be spiritual, but common sense goes a long way.

 

[JayAnn0513]

Thanks for this!

We joined this church because of pressure from our previous church (the parent/sister church) to help this one grow and become established. Since our move, we have not felt inspired or equipped; to ourselves it was stifling our growth and journey.

Thanks again ladies, I think God has more for us, than where we are at now.

Oh yes! I remember that too. I'm sorry but that didn't set right with me either. What denomination church is this?

 

[JayAnn0513]

There are certain responsibilities a pastor has to his congregants and vice versa, even if these elders are operating in a jezebel spirit I don't think that they just just up and leave without a word...

they may not get the 'release' they desire but as members of that church they should say that they are leaving and why, having respect for the pastor and the office that he holds is scriptural and they should make every effort to keep peace

In most cases I would completely agree, but remembering how they were basically forced to join this church by their previous church I believe keeping the peace would be best achieved by making a quiet exit.

 

[Laela]

I don't see where anyone here, certainly not me, is advocating having a big old party at the church and giving out their addresses to everyone and information on their next move to the entire church. That's not wise.

Yes, they could leave "quietly' but peaceable, with the help of the Holy Spirit. God already told us vengeance belongs to Him. That's not being spiritual, it's being wise by allowing God to be God.

If they were forced to join one church [OP please correct me if I'm wrong. ], then they are allowing others to dictate their actions.

The power is within each of us to do the right thing and not allow anyone to force us to do anything we don't want to do, especially something wrong. Certainly, God won't force us.... So if they leave choose to leave the wrong way, God won't interfere with their will to do so. It's their choice.

 

[Guitarhero]

I believe the true question is, why is leaving quietly the "wrong" way, as though doing so is against G-d? Please provide a scripture because I'm not comprehending why anyone would think they owe them anything at all. Shaking dust off sandals...a sign of separateness and piety. There's something more insidious going on behind their actions (pastor).

Mt 10:16

I am sending you out like sheep among wolves. Therefore be as shrewd as snakes and as innocent as doves.

Of course, be cunning and smart but not injurious. In this case, self-preservation might be warranted to cut off all communication. Only they will know, as we are all aware. One can only provide advice.

 

[Rainbow Dash]

I think that OP and husband should go to the pastor and let him know of their decision. This is not to get permission. They are not getting permission, they are just making their leaders aware of their decision. I don't think it is necessary to just leave without saying anything.

By going to the leaders, this may show the leaders how to respect the decisions of their congregants. The OP and husband seem like respectful people and this is a way to show respect to others, even when you don't agree on certain things.

I think that the leaders are doing these things because they are looking at the natural. They are worried about whether the church will grow, is God really in this? Members in the church can be a good sign to leaders, especially those that add to the ministry. The leaders need to trust God and not members or numbers.

 

[thecurlycamshow]

I'm not understanding. You and your husband prayer to God for counsel so why are you now considering man (aka the elder) approval? You both need to listen to God. You asked Him and He answered but now you're doubting because of what someone in the church says. The only advice I have is for you both to go back, speak to God, trust in Him, and follow His plan. Many blessings on your decision sis.

 

[Shimmie]

I think that OP and husband should go to the pastor and let him know of their decision. This is not to get permission. They are not getting permission, they are just making their leaders aware of their decision. I don't think it is necessary to just leave without saying anything.

By going to the leaders, this may show the leaders how to respect the decisions of their congregants. The OP and husband seem like respectful people and this is a way to show respect to others, even when you don't agree on certain things.

I think that the leaders are doing these things because they are looking at the natural. They are worried about whether the church will grow, is God really in this? Members in the church can be a good sign to leaders, especially those that add to the ministry. The leaders need to trust God and not members or numbers.

Exactly Health&hair28 ... Thank you so much for sharing this, for it is extremely vital. Extremely. You are totally on point with God's Word.

God's Word says that we are to do things in decency and order... (I Cor 14:40)

For God is not a God of disorder but of peace. As in all the congregations of the saints... (I Cor 14:33)

They cannot leave 'begrudgingly' or with an Elders and Church Leaders by leaving with a proper 'heart', as they would any family member.

The only thing this Elder did was 'disagree' with their leaving and used spiritural 'Blackmail' (manipulation) to screen his true feelings. This is something that 'All' humans do in one form or another be it with or without intent or with or without being initially aware of what they are doing.

Even when we know God has spoken and we know that this Elder is incorrect, there's an old saying that will always ring true and bear the 'fruit' thereof, "Two wrongs don't make a right". However, as God Word says, Love covers a mulititude of sins.

And ........ it truly does. Look what God's love did for all of our sins...

Now if the Elder and the Church Leaders as well as the members, reject the loving farewell of OP and Hubbie, well that's okay. Love must stlll expressed and held fast on their part so that the blessings of God will not be hindered as they move on.



I'm tagging Amour, just in case....Hubbie may need this.

 

[Shimmie]

There are certain responsibilities a pastor has to his congregants and vice versa, even if these elders are operating in a jezebel spirit I don't think that they just just up and leave without a word...

they may not get the 'release' they desire but as members of that church they should say that they are leaving and why, having respect for the pastor and the office that he holds is scriptural and they should make every effort to keep peace

Amein...everything ought to be done decently and in order, esp when dealing with members of the Body of Christ...

Amour, it's good that you can fellowship with other believers and ask their opinions. However, I encourage you to please be sure that you leave that church in the right spirit, as Shimmie mentioned, else it will affect you adversely. 'See ya, don't wanna be ya' will harm you, not anyone else.

I don't see where anyone here, certainly not me, is advocating having a big old party at the church and giving out their addresses to everyone and information on their next move to the entire church. That's not wise.

Yes, they could leave "quietly' but peaceable, with the help of the Holy Spirit. God already told us vengeance belongs to Him. That's not being spiritual, it's being wise by allowing God to be God.

If they were forced to join one church [OP please correct me if I'm wrong. ], then they are allowing others to dictate their actions.

The power is within each of us to do the right thing and not allow anyone to force us to do anything we don't want to do, especially something wrong. Certainly, God won't force us.... So if they leave choose to leave the wrong way, God won't interfere with their will to do so. It's their choice.

Laela and Iwanthealthyhair67 I was reading the posts from the bottom up (latest to earliest). I just saw both of your posts.

As I shared with Health&hair28, as in her post, so are both of you totally on point . We're not to hold the spirit of strife, and stife would definitely be the spirit of operation if Amour and Hubbie left the church without a proper farewell, otherwise that same spirit will follow them wherever they go and it will 'meet' them at the new destination and assert its self in their new life.

Because that 'spirit of stife' (resentment of being opposed), was a part of their 'baggage', it will in turn pop up in a ready and willing vessel who may be their neighbor, the people their deal with in obtaining a new home, and most of all, let us not forget.... the NEW JOB! Come on! That's the biggest arena and platform for this type of spirit to reside and have full carte' blanche' to operate.

As long as they properly go to the Elders / Leaders and greet them farewell with love... then love will follow them with even the most difficult of people in their new journey.

 

[HWAY]

Amour, please ask your husband to pray with you before meeting with your elders and please continue to pray for your husband so that follows God's will.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

common sense it not always scriptural but having respect for authority is...

the right thing to do is pray about and if possible leave at peace, you don't have to be in agreement with someone to live peaceably...

Why not? They sound like a cult making the OP and her husband feel they "owe" the pastorship their livelihood. If you change, then change. Better to leave quietly without fanfare than alert somebody WHERE you are moving and having them harass you over it. Respect goes both ways. Keeping peace is removing yourself from a dangerous situation. What on earth do they "owe" this church? Sure, be spiritual, but common sense goes a long way.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

I'm reminded of David and Saul, everything that Saul did to David, David still loved and respected him as well as his office as king...


as believers there is much to learn about submission, respect for authority etc.,

 

[Sweet C]

I would definitely fast b/f making any decision. Some red flags definitely raise in my spirit in regards to what the elders told you, but still take it to God and allow Him to order your steps in regards to this promotion and in regards to your current church home. I don't want you to automatically assume that b/c he is finally gotten this promotion that it is of God. Me and my husband have gotten so many offers to leave the place where we are it isnt even funny. But we KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that though where we are may seem like a barren place, God has us here for preparation in ministry. So that is my prayer for you OP and your spouse that you be in the place and position to where you both can be developed into who God is calling you both to be. If this promotion is getting you to that place, then hey to God be the glory. If not, then hey still to God be the glory. But seek God for instruction on the promotion as well whether or not to stay in your current church home.

 

[aribell]

What Shimmie said about leaving on bad terms releasing negative spirits into your life has been true in my experience.

A couple of years ago I left a church under bad terms. I guess people would call it that, but essentially, the music minister deeply offended me and I saw that things were not going to work out with that church. I wrote him a letter (not hateful), returned my things, and haven't gone back to the church since. I left in that manner because it was clear that he would not recognize the problem with his attitude, there were other things that I found to be clearly ungodly, and honestly, there was nothing to discuss. I had never done anything like that before, but allowed my anger and embarrassment at being disrespected drive my actions.

As it turns out, I had not one, but two temp jobs after that that I ended up having to leave on bad terms. It was really strange because up till then I had a pretty great record with respect to my work history and relationship with employers. Neither situation was entirely my fault (like the situation with the music minister at the church), but nevertheless, I definitely struggled for a minute after having left that church because it seemed that a force was working to tear things down in my life with respect to jobs, ministry, and even relationships. That entire next year was a year of burnt bridges. And I knew it was spiritual because it was so uncharacteristic of my life up till that point. I think that spirit of opposition had been attempting to have its way before then, but by giving into my anger, I opened the door. It's taken a lot to get things back in balance.

Thanks Shimmie While I don't think people need to overthink or overspiritualize such decisions, we do have to stay mindful of the spiritual realities behind every situation.

 

[FlyyBohemian]

What Shimmie said about leaving on bad terms releasing negative spirits into your life has been true in my experience.

A couple of years ago I left a church under bad terms. I guess people would call it that, but essentially, the music minister deeply offended me and I saw that things were not going to work out with that church. I wrote him a letter (not hateful), returned my things, and haven't gone back to the church since. I left in that manner because it was clear that he would not recognize the problem with his attitude, there were other things that I found to be clearly ungodly, and honestly, there was nothing to discuss. I had never done anything like that before, but allowed my anger and embarrassment at being disrespected drive my actions.

As it turns out, I had not one, but two temp jobs after that that I ended up having to leave on bad terms. It was really strange because up till then I had a pretty great record with respect to my work history and relationship with employers. Neither situation was entirely my fault (like the situation with the music minister at the church), but nevertheless, I definitely struggled for a minute after having left that church because it seemed that a force was working to tear things down in my life with respect to jobs, ministry, and even relationships. That entire next year was a year of burnt bridges. And I knew it was spiritual because it was so uncharacteristic of my life up till that point. I think that spirit of opposition had been attempting to have its way before then, but by giving into my anger, I opened the door. It's taken a lot to get things back in balance.

Thanks Shimmie While I don't think people need to overthink or overspiritualize such decisions, we do have to stay mindful of the spiritual realities behind every situation.

I was offended by a minister too. It was a clique that I was no longer welcomed. He pastored a church I was raised in. I was advised to write him an e-mail and report him for the sake of my own self respect. However, I decided not to. I left it behind me and God has opened doors for me that I never thought he would. Sometimes it's just best to be still and let life play out.

 

[Shimmie]

What Shimmie said about leaving on bad terms releasing negative spirits into your life has been true in my experience.

A couple of years ago I left a church under bad terms. I guess people would call it that, but essentially, the music minister deeply offended me and I saw that things were not going to work out with that church. I wrote him a letter (not hateful), returned my things, and haven't gone back to the church since. I left in that manner because it was clear that he would not recognize the problem with his attitude, there were other things that I found to be clearly ungodly, and honestly, there was nothing to discuss. I had never done anything like that before, but allowed my anger and embarrassment at being disrespected drive my actions.

As it turns out, I had not one, but two temp jobs after that that I ended up having to leave on bad terms. It was really strange because up till then I had a pretty great record with respect to my work history and relationship with employers. Neither situation was entirely my fault (like the situation with the music minister at the church), but nevertheless, I definitely struggled for a minute after having left that church because it seemed that a force was working to tear things down in my life with respect to jobs, ministry, and even relationships. That entire next year was a year of burnt bridges. And I knew it was spiritual because it was so uncharacteristic of my life up till that point. I think that spirit of opposition had been attempting to have its way before then, but by giving into my anger, I opened the door. It's taken a lot to get things back in balance.

Thanks Shimmie While I don't think people need to overthink or overspiritualize such decisions, we do have to stay mindful of the spiritual realities behind every situation.

Thanks Nicola You so right about not over spirtualizing everything. I'm still learning that it's really not about the 'person' or the 'people' that have offended me. Instead it's a learning tool or a 'hindering tool', something for me to allow the Holy Spirit to show me what's going on.

"Offenses can do one of two things that we allow. They can make us 'bitter' (vengeful) or 'better' (forgiving). I'm striving daily towards the 'better'. It seems that where we are 'placed' to work, becomes the biggest arena to 'test' and develop our 'forgiving virtues'. It deals with our survival, our means for survival... our income. The struggle is there to try and intimidate us into being passive or forcibly submissive, which easlly breeds resentment, strife, not to mention stress. Once we shut the doors to this spirit, nothing that happens can affect us. I'm still learning to shut the doors....

 

[Guitarhero]

common sense it not always scriptural but having respect for authority is...

the right thing to do is pray about and if possible leave at peace, you don't have to be in agreement with someone to live peaceably...

But I never advocated NOT having respect for authority, which you have not said, just making it clear. The authority, btw, is Christ's, not the pastor's, which we all know. This must be a very, very small congregation. Red flag....cult-like manipulation. Sometimes, you do not stick around to be nice. Biblical is also turning the other direction when in danger of soul. This is what I picked up on from the OP, not the little extras. Anytime someone is so distressed at making a family decision in this type of situation, they are in some kind of emotional/spiritual danger. It would be different if they were the music ministers, deacons, etc. But if simply a member of the congregation, you make an exit...that's what I would do without thinking for a moment that I wouldn't be in line with G-d's word. I think one needs to be very careful making value judgments about what is biblical and not biblical in this type of case. G-d has equipped us with a functioning warning system and common sense guards it. Wisdom strengthens it. I know the rules of my own church and there are none that tell me I cannot leave in any given moment. I'm concerned about them.

In previous threads about people leaving to find their preferred church, advice given was to pray. Understandable. Other advice was asking G-d if they should leave. Understandable. The advice I never agreed with was the one just like in this thread. When you are uncomfortable, you do not ask any human permission. It's not about burning bridges, it's about sanity and safety of your soul. Sometimes, you dust off your sandals...no fanfare, no bad attitudes, you remove yourself. As we all know, the OP's family will decide. I only ask lurkers in similar situations to not fall into such an ordeal. Anytime you feel bad for leaving, moving on or feel compelled to go through long hours of prayer to make a decision to leave a church where you are being coerced to stay in some way, that is the biggest cult warning sign on the planet. Common sense...G-d-given. We've been conditioned to believe otherwise and if we look at the horror stories out there, the one thing people have said over and over again...."I wish I had listened to my conscience."

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

I'm not trying to change anyone's mind...we obviously disagree...


having respect for authority means not leaving w/o saying that you have left 'Elders' are authority figures in church.....a church is not impersonal it's also a family, being a part of the body of Christ you do not up and leave without saying that you have left regardless if you and the elders are in not in agreement...


and yes, common sense is God given however, he often asks us to do things that defy common sense

 

[LucieLoo12]

Amen! On this!..

Let me give a testimony

The reason why I said in my first post, I wouldnt speak against the people at the church becuase I didnt know the whole situation was because this:

About 3 years ago I was looking for a job..I applied everywhere I couldnt find a one!!! The church was praying for me, my pastor was too..So i get offered a job offer, I was going to be making about 60k, a year...So i prayed about it, but sometimes when my desire is really strong, I ALWAYS get counsel because alot of times when you desire something your flesh can speak really loud lol..So i went to my pastor and he said "Something doesnt sit right in my spirit about this...I dont think you should take this job.." Man i was sooooo hurt, I cried..But I respect my pastor as a man of God, but I wanted God to show me himself..So the SAME DAY...my new "boss" sent me a very sexual text message concerning my body"..That was my sign from God! He was allowing me see the intentions of that rascal.The bible says, God maketh rich and added no sorrow! I didnt want to go to work at a place where my boss didnt respect me and looked at me like that. The fact he sent me the text showed me he had no respect for me! So i didnt take it..but wait Im not done!!

about a month later...I was offered another job, making more money!!
I got counsel again...My pastor said..."Dont take this job, its another trick."...So this time i listened!! I didnt take it..Tell me why after this happening..I read in the newspaper that guy who was going to hire me, got arrested for sexually assualting his assistant, which was the same position he offered me!!!

My pastor was right again!

My pastor told me that God was going to bless me, but I had to be tried first. Well now I work in the Human Resource department for a Contracting company for Chemical Oil Refineries...I've been here for 2 yrs I love my job!! I get to talk to yall all day

So im saying all this, sometimes the leaders dont be "hating"...they really hear from God...but in THIS case, i dont know...thats why we have to know God for ourselves.

common sense it not always scriptural but having respect for authority is...

the right thing to do is pray about and if possible leave at peace, you don't have to be in agreement with someone to live peaceably...

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

Can I get a praise God up in here...girl thank you !!!

Unfortuantely the majority of these pastors and church people have not been representing God as they should we've given the body of Christ a black eye for the world to see...but we do have some true men and women God still around, who know God and aint no fake...

My pastor and a (prophet from another state) told me that I was going to get a promotion and I did, I beleive them to be true oracles of God that doesn't say that I'm always in agreement with everything that comes out of their mouths (what I don;t understand or disagree with I go straight to God) they encourage us to search the scriptures and encourage us to have our own relationship with God, that way we know the voice of God for ourselves...

Amen! On this!..

Let me give a testimony

The reason why I said in my first post, I wouldnt speak against the people at the church becuase I didnt know the whole situation was because this:

About 3 years ago I was looking for a job..I applied everywhere I couldnt find a one!!! The church was praying for me, my pastor was too..So i get offered a job offer, I was going to be making about 60k, a year...So i prayed about it, but sometimes when my desire is really strong, I ALWAYS get counsel because alot of times when you desire something your flesh can speak really loud lol..So i went to my pastor and he said "Something doesnt sit right in my spirit about this...I dont think you should take this job.." Man i was sooooo hurt, I cried..But I respect my pastor as a man of God, but I wanted God to show me himself..So the SAME DAY...my new "boss" sent me a very sexual text message concerning my body"..That was my sign from God! He was allowing me see the intentions of that rascal.The bible says, God maketh rich and added no sorrow! I didnt want to go to work at a place where my boss didnt respect me and looked at me like that. The fact he sent me the text showed me he had no respect for me! So i didnt take it..but wait Im not done!!

about a month later...I was offered another job, making more money!!
I got counsel again...My pastor said..."Dont take this job, its another trick."...So this time i listened!! I didnt take it..Tell me why after this happening..I read in the newspaper that guy who was going to hire me, got arrested for sexually assualting his assistant, which was the same position he offered me!!!

My pastor was right again!

My pastor told me that God was going to bless me, but I had to be tried first. Well now I work in the Human Resource department for a Contracting company for Chemical Oil Refineries...I've been here for 2 yrs I love my job!! I get to talk to yall all day

So im saying all this, sometimes the leaders dont be "hating"...they really hear from God...but in THIS case, i dont know...thats why we have to know God for ourselves.

 

[Laela]

"Offenses can do one of two things that we allow. They can make us 'bitter' (vengeful) or 'better' (forgiving). I'm striving daily towards the 'better'.

 

[LucieLoo12]

Praise God! Thank you!

I know sometimes when our leaders gives us advice or instruction we feel that they "all up in our business" but the purpose of a shephred is to lead his sheep! My pastor has stop me from hitting my head soooo many times! I take what my pastor has to say to heart, he is like a father to me..but at the same time, I seek God and learn of God, because my salvation isnt in my pastor but in Jesus Christ. Thats why people cant be hopping up and joining church because they feel excited for a moment, but they have to seek God and where He would have them to be..because your shephred is going to be the one feeding your soul....and he is responsible for it..


**disclaimer...this post isnt for the OP just a general view...*****

Can I get a praise God up in here...girl thank you !!!

Unfortuantely the majority of these pastors and church people have not been representing God as they should we've given the body of Christ a black eye for the world to see...but we do have some true men and women God still around, who know God and aint no fake...

My pastor and a (prophet from another state) told me that I was going to get a promotion and I did, I beleive them to be true oracles of God that doesn't say that I'm always in agreement with everything that comes out of their mouths (what I don;t understand or disagree with I go straight to God) they encourage us to search the scriptures and encourage us to have our own relationship with God, that way we know the voice of God for ourselves...

 

[Rainbow Dash]

Praise God! Thank you!

I know sometimes when our leaders gives us advice or instruction we feel that they "all up in our business" but the purpose of a shephred is to lead his sheep! My pastor has stop me from hitting my head soooo many times! I take what my pastor has to say to heart, he is like a father to me..but at the same time, I seek God and learn of God, because my salvation isnt in my pastor but in Jesus Christ. Thats why people cant be hopping up and joining church because they feel excited for a moment, but they have to seek God and where He would have them to be..because your shephred is going to be the one feeding your soul....and he is responsible for it..


**disclaimer...this post isnt for the OP just a general view...*****

Good to hear that you guys, Alicialynn86 and iwanthealthyhair67 have had some good experiences with your pastors. But me on the other had I wont put another pastor or leader on a pedestal. Leaders are only to do what the bible says, and that is help mature people in Christ. People are not to stay under the thumb of the pastor or turn into little children. Pastors should be raising the body up to do what they do and that is lead others to the One True Shephard and maturity in Christ.

I have seen and suffered much at the hands of leaders, so I will not ever put another leader up too high. And I'm talking about deep hurt that took almost 2 years in the healing process. They are not the mouth of God for my life. The Holy Spirit and the Word of God are that to me and if they are speaking from that source, then it is well. If they are pushing me into THEM then red flags start going off because guess what pastors, it is not about you or your church but Jesus Christ and Him being glorifed.

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

Sorry to hear that you've had such horrible experiences, there are 'real' men and women of God out there, I pray you find such a church...

Faith in God confidence in man, thank God that you have not lost faith, many people have been driven to that point where they don't want to see another church or pastor again and this is why my prayer continues for the body of Christ that we may walk worthy of the vocation that we are called...

 

[LucieLoo12]

The problem is alot of "Pastors", have not been called or sent to pastor..they have made themselves into that position

 

[Laela]

As they say "Is your spiritual leader the "went one" or the "sent one"?

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

try the spirits, check the fruit and go to God in fasting prayer your soul is worth that much ...

 

[LucieLoo12]

...

Do you know you can go online now and get minister certification?? Scary!!

As they say "Is your spiritual leader the "went one" or the "sent one"?

 

[Iwanthealthyhair67]

^^yes and your right it is plenty scary