Elders tell DH to not take promotion..help!

Amour

Well-Known Member
Hey ladies,

I need some advise, my Husband has been working extremely hard at securing a promotion; finally it came through.. Whoohoo :)

He had gone for this role a few times within his own strength and ampitude and it didn't come through. After reflection he decided to leave it to God and prayed that God would have favour on him and allow His will to be done. He went to church and gave a testimony in advance and the whole church prayed with him and asked God to bless him.

So the following day DH lands the promotion which is in a different city, the elder/pastor of our church after hearing about where the job is located has advised/ politely forced DH to reject the promotion. He's reasoning is that we have recently come to this church and he doesn't feel that God has finished with us here, he stated a blantant disapproval that we would be willing to leave for a promotion and more money. He is extremely adamant about us not going and will be consulting with fellow leaders to discuss this further with them.

I need some advise to help us to make a decision. We feel that this is where God wants us to be. Before this promotion we were talking about leaving this city as we felt we weren't finding favour here, and felt a strong urge that needed to be elsewhere.

What would you do? We will continue praying and speaking to our elders, I just also wanted to consult with you ladies here; as I don't have many Christian women/fellows I am able to consult with about many things.
 

Guitarhero

New Member
You family is YOUR family. If he prayed for a promotion and G_D delivered, team G-d right here! What do the elders of a church have to say about your family unit's prosperity and happiness? Leave those people. There's something going on behind the scenes for anybody to tell another to pass up success and stick behind in a rut.
 

Rainbow Dash

Well-Known Member
Listen, you and your husband pray and ask God. Do not let these control your family. I believe the elders are looking out for their best interest.

Your husband is the head of your family, not the elders. Men lead their families, not elders.

God is in your husband and yourself. You guys can hear God.

I dont know these people, but their responses remind me of controlling and manipulative leadership. If so, Run!!

Sent from my LS670 using LS670
 

Prudent1

Well-Known Member
Amour,
I'm with GH. The traditional family comes first with God-period. If you and DH feel lead to go then go. What did they (the whole church) pray with you if they have now changed:perplexed? I would def continue to pray and asking God for guidance and to reveal to us quickly the hearts of all around us.

" He's reasoning is that we have recently come to this church and he doesn't feel that God has finished with us here, he stated a blantant disapproval that we would be willing to leave for a promotion and more money."
Mkay, did he feel lead to supply the difference in income so you can stay where you are?
I realize I can't speak with certainty b/c all I know is what's in your paragraph but on the outskirts something doesn't sound right. I'm not throwing shade on your pastor or elders either. We're all ppl and subject to make mistakes based on feelings. It would be different if he said the Lord issued a warning or something connected to the impending move.
 

creolefox

Well-Known Member
why would god give him the promotion then???
this is one of the issues i have with the church....feeling they can control every aspect of your life
 

Iwanthealthyhair67

Well-Known Member
wait a minute, they stood in agreement with you now that the job is in another location they don't think that he should take the position...lol

sounds like the spirit of manipulation in operation right here...
 

LucieLoo12

Well-Known Member
I wont speak against anyone at your church because I dont know the whole situation. But I will say this

The bible say...acknowledge Him in all your ways and HE will direct your paths..

Just a option, maybe you and your husband should sanctify a fast and seek the Lord on this..I can always hear the Lord very well on a fast.Allow God to answer you on this. And if it still some doubt ask God to confirm it for you and He will..Reminds me of Gideon, when he wanted to be sure if God was sending him, he asked God to put dew on the ground and several other things..and God did those things to confirm it to Gideon.Ask God for confirmation. He doesnt mind that.
 
Last edited:

MrsMe

Well-Known Member
Team God here. The Elders will have to reconsider their position and reflect on what miracle just happened. You were praying for this promotion and it happened by the grace of God. Listen to Him before man.

Sent from my PG86100
 

Shimmie

"God is the Only Truth -- Period"
Staff member
RUN Ferris.... Run.... :cowgirl:

Run and do not look back as did Lot's wife. Too much salt is in the heart of these leaders.

Leave with a grateful heart: Pastor, Bishop, Elders, Deacons, Fellow 'Americans', (sorry :giggle:),

Anyway, back to being serious, go to the Church leaders, and express how blessed you and your family have been by their love, support and ministry. That you wish all of them God's blessings and nothing less, for always until the return of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, to retrieve His Church to Glory.

NOW, here's my prayer for you.

Father in the name of Jesus, I thank you for releasing Amour, her husband and children safely in the Spirit as well as physically to transition into the new Beginning which you have blessed upon them.

Let no man say, they are without you and that you are not with them.

Let no man say, they are 'accursed' and not blessed because of this move;

Let no man say, that they will reap remorse and regrets for leaving.

Father as you stopped the the cursing of your children when Baalam stood upon the hill to do such, so shall you stop the words of jealousy, from bearing fruit, coming forth from the hearts of those who oppose their move.

Father if anyone in their current Church, or even outside of the Church, has been persuaded to speak ill will upon Amour's husband and family, let them know, that they cannot follow along with the other's, in this negative behaviour, that they cannot speak evil of your blessings on them.

[ But God said to Balaam, “You must not go with them; you must not curse the people, for they are blessed” (Numbers 22:12) ]


Father, people move, transfer and relocate every single day and they are indeed blessed and they prosper. So shall Amour and her husband and children, prosper much and give you the Glory for it. If there is anything lacking, alert them in such a way that they will take heed to your voice and your voice alone and follow your guide, for you are by their side for always.

Thank you that you are Jehovah Shammah, you are already there, at the new location, you have cleared the path for safe travel and you have prepared for them a table in the presence of their 'enemies' (naysayers). You have annointed them for the 'change', strengthen them for the periods of adjustment, sheltered them in a peaceable habitation.

In Jesus Name, Amen and Amen....

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.


Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.-- KJV

Amour.... Hold on to 'Surely Goodness and Mercy" which shall follow you all the days of your life, that you and Hubbie and family will dwell in the House of the Lord, forever... Amen.

Amour.... You and Hubbie will dwell in the House of the Lord ... forever.

Please take this passage of scripture literally. The House of the Lord...

New Church: Wherever God places you, it will be the House of the Lord.

New Home: The house and home that God has prepared for you.

Your Hearts: God has found a home in yours and Hubbie's hearts, and the hearts of your children forever...

Goodness and Mercy ... right there, all the time.

:bighug:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
 
Last edited:

Amour

Well-Known Member
AmourIt would be different if he said the Lord issued a warning or something connected to the impending move.

This was what I said to DH. But they were praying for this for us initially but then changed their tune when realised we would have to move.

My concerns are that it 'seems' as the church is a small one and they trying to grow, they are not willing to allow us to leave for this reason. But then I think maybe we would be sacrifcing our own development for the devlopment of the church?

The biggest concern my DH has, is that the elder said sometimes God communicates to elders more easily, which we did not agree with.

We wouldn't want to go with their lack of approval but we really feel this is what God has for us for now.

Also, is it wrong to desire to be successful. There are a lot of successful people in our church, that are able to use their success to bring glory to God and still remain faithful stewards of Christ. We are a young couple and desire the same for ourselves.
 

JayAnn0513

I make 30 look good!
I wont speak against anyone at your church because I dont know the whole situation. But I will say this

The bible say...acknowledge Him in all your ways and HE will direct your paths..

Just a option, maybe you and your husband should sanctify a fast and seek the Lord on this..I can always hear the Lord very well on a fast.Allow God to answer you on this. And if it still some doubt ask God to confirm it for you and He will..Reminds me of Gideon, when he wanted to be sure if God was sending him, he asked God to put dew on the ground and several other things..and God did those things to confirm it to Gideon.Ask God for confirmation. He doesnt mind that.

There it is in a nutshell. If God didn't want your husband to get that job he wouldn't have offered it to him. God's word before Man...
 

aribell

formerly nicola.kirwan
The biggest concern my DH has, is that the elder said sometimes God communicates to elders more easily, which we did not agree with.

.....

Also, is it wrong to desire to be successful. There are a lot of successful people in our church, that are able to use their success to bring glory to God and still remain faithful stewards of Christ. We are a young couple and desire the same for ourselves.

What this person is doing is setting themselves up as a mouthpiece of God over and above God speaking to you. The implication is that you all need to trust him to discern what God is saying because he receives messages from God more easily than you do. Even if you weren't going to move, I would be willing to say that alone should be enough to consider changing churches.

Moreover, the Kingdom of God is everywhere. Surely you and your husband can serve God just as well in another location as you can in this one, particularly if you feel called to that place. I was reading a while ago in a Derek Prince book about geographic callings and how God's work in you can be stifled if you are in the wrong place. It seems that you and your husband have already discerned where your place of favor is and it sounds as if the church is more concerned about its own ambitions than with the good of your family.
 

Iwanthealthyhair67

Well-Known Member
um, really that's not scriptural ...

Sounds like you and your DH are gonna have a probelm leaving this church..put the matter before God not only for clarity but also for strength to deal with any issues...

This was what I said to DH. But they were praying for this for us initially but then changed their tune when realised we would have to move.

My concerns are that it 'seems' as the church is a small one and they trying to grow, they are not willing to allow us to leave for this reason. But then I think maybe we would be sacrifcing our own development for the devlopment of the church?

The biggest concern my DH has, is that the elder said sometimes God communicates to elders more easily, which we did not agree with.

We wouldn't want to go with their lack of approval but we really feel this is what God has for us for now.

Also, is it wrong to desire to be successful. There are a lot of successful people in our church, that are able to use their success to bring glory to God and still remain faithful stewards of Christ. We are a young couple and desire the same for ourselves.
 

LovelyLouboutin

Well-Known Member
Sounds like your church is a cult to me. They won't "allow" you to leave? God should be in control of your life not the elders. How dare they tell you guys not to take a promotion just because it involves a move. It's very self serving on their part and it's in direct opposition of what God seems to have for you and has delivered to you through not only your prayers but the prayers of your church members.
 

JeterCrazed

New Member
why would god give him the promotion then???
this is one of the issues i have with the church....feeling they can control every aspect of your life

Ruined my step-sister's marriage with the same ideology. Telling husband to do things in the best interest if the church when he should be home helping with the 5 kids they have.

Sent from my HTC Inspire™
 

Guitarhero

New Member
This was what I said to DH. But they were praying for this for us initially but then changed their tune when realised we would have to move.

My concerns are that it 'seems' as the church is a small one and they trying to grow, they are not willing to allow us to leave for this reason. But then I think maybe we would be sacrifcing our own development for the devlopment of the church?

The biggest concern my DH has, is that the elder said sometimes God communicates to elders more easily, which we did not agree with.

We wouldn't want to go with their lack of approval but we really feel this is what God has for us for now.

Also, is it wrong to desire to be successful. There are a lot of successful people in our church, that are able to use their success to bring glory to God and still remain faithful stewards of Christ. We are a young couple and desire the same for ourselves.


Even David and his men plucked wheat heads on the Sabbath. So did Jesus and the disciples. You owe your soul to G-d first. No organization can claim to own you. You belong to the spiritual Church first. You are supposed to worship in communion with other believers. But you are not held and they cannot hold you.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but is this a black church? I ask because sometimes, black folks don't like to see others excel when they feel stuck. They should be elated for your family. $$ lost, huh? Well, they should trust G-d to replace the members lost. I mean, what are they going to do, tell you you are hell-bound for moving on? Sounds a bit cultist to me. Lack of approval....you get approval for getting baptised, for getting married (all within the law of G-d), for becoming a priest etc. ...you don't need church approval to work a job.
 

kandake

Well-Known Member
Please don't let them influence your decision.

This matter is between you all and God. The decision is not theirs and they should be ashamed of making you all feel guilty for wanting more out of your life.

God's word says that he comes that we might have life more abundantly. If you all feel that God answered your prayer and this new phase in your life will allow for a more abundant life then move forward with your original plan.
 

MrsHouston

Well-Known Member
This was what I said to DH. But they were praying for this for us initially but then changed their tune when realised we would have to move.

My concerns are that it 'seems' as the church is a small one and they trying to grow, they are not willing to allow us to leave for this reason. But then I think maybe we would be sacrifcing our own development for the devlopment of the church?

The biggest concern my DH has, is that the elder said sometimes God communicates to elders more easily, which we did not agree with.

We wouldn't want to go with their lack of approval but we really feel this is what God has for us for now.

Also, is it wrong to desire to be successful. There are a lot of successful people in our church, that are able to use their success to bring glory to God and still remain faithful stewards of Christ. We are a young couple and desire the same for ourselves.

1) They're not willing to "allow" you to leave....WHAT? are you serious. You have to decide for yourself, but "really" look at what you're saying here.

2) This is not true. SMH. This is why christians need to know what the bible says for themselves, so they won't be so easily misguided.

Sorry this is happening to you.
 

achangedlife

New Member
You guys are saved, there is no reason your husband shouldn't be able to hear God for himself. Remember since Jesus we are our own priesthood, we don't have to go through anyone to be in connection with God. Also the Bible says "I wish above all things that you prosper and be in health, " so of course God wants you to be successful. He had to move Abraham out of his home country in order to bring him to a place where he and his family can be blessed, so if you feel God is doing the same for you then you follow God. Since they helped you guys pray for the promotion I question if their reaction would be different if the promotion was in town, would they be telling him then to not take it? I love my fellow Christians but I seriously have issues with people with titles controlling other's lives. My sister had a pastor who was telling her to leave her husband, can u get anymore unbiblical then that? That's why u test the spirits ( even Christians), and then you follow the Holy Spirit.

Sent from my LS670 using LS670
 

disgtgyal

Well-Known Member
What stood out to me are a few things... the church prayed with you and your husband, they were in agreement in the beginning, but when God opened a door for you guys they're like nah that's the wrong one. Secondly you said your husband tried through his own efforts to get promoted, but hasn't until now. IMO God may have done things this way so you and your husband can see the true nature and heart of your pastor and church elders and maybe find greater peace with leaving, showing you unequivocally He wants you guys to move. I say to you and your what door God opens, no man shuts and what door God shuts, no man open... walk into your season.

Sent from my LG-P925 using LG-P925
 

Amour

Well-Known Member
Even David and his men plucked wheat heads on the Sabbath. So did Jesus and the disciples. You owe your soul to G-d first. No organization can claim to own you. You belong to the spiritual Church first. You are supposed to worship in communion with other believers. But you are not held and they cannot hold you.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but is this a black church? I ask because sometimes, black folks don't like to see others excel when they feel stuck. They should be elated for your family. $$ lost, huh? Well, they should trust G-d to replace the members lost. I mean, what are they going to do, tell you you are hell-bound for moving on? Sounds a bit cultist to me. Lack of approval....you get approval for getting baptised, for getting married (all within the law of G-d), for becoming a priest etc. ...you don't need church approval to work a job.

The church is a mixed, predominantly white church.
 

Amour

Well-Known Member
What stood out to me are a few things... the church prayed with you and your husband, they were in agreement in the beginning, but when God opened a door for you guys they're like nah that's the wrong one. Secondly you said your husband tried through his own efforts to get promoted, but hasn't until now. IMO God may have done things this way so you and your husband can see the true nature and heart of your pastor and church elders and maybe find greater peace with leaving, showing you unequivocally He wants you guys to move. I say to you and your what door God opens, no man shuts and what door God shuts, no man open... walk into your season.

Sent from my LG-P925 using LG-P925

Thanks for this!

We joined this church because of pressure from our previous church (the parent/sister church) to help this one grow and become established. Since our move, we have not felt inspired or equipped; to ourselves it was stifling our growth and journey.

Thanks again ladies, I think God has more for us, than where we are at now.
 

SweetNic_JA

Well-Known Member
My SO said that maybe your hubby is a bank roller in the church and that's why the pastor doesn't want you to leave. He also states that God can work on you WHEREVER you go! If you restrict God's work to a single pastor or single congregation - that is idolatry. God is not confined to a congregation, a geographical region or to a pastor.
 

Amour

Well-Known Member
RUN Ferris.... Run.... :cowgirl:

Run and do not look back as did Lot's wife. Too much salt is in the heart of these leaders.

Leave with a grateful heart: Pastor, Bishop, Elders, Deacons, Fellow 'Americans', (sorry :giggle:),

Anyway, back to being serious, go to the Church leaders, and express how blessed you and your family have been by their love, support and ministry. That you wish all of them God's blessings and nothing less, for always until the return of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, to retrieve His Church to Glory.

NOW, here's my prayer for you.

Father in the name of Jesus, I thank you for releasing Amour, her husband and children safely in the Spirit as well as physically to transition into the new Beginning which you have blessed upon them.

Let no man say, they are without you and that you are not with them.

Let no man say, they are 'accursed' and not blessed because of this move;

Let no man say, that they will reap remorse and regrets for leaving.

Father as you stopped the the cursing of your children when Baalam stood upon the hill to do such, so shall you stop the words of jealousy, from bearing fruit, coming forth from the hearts of those who oppose their move.

Father if anyone in their current Church, or even outside of the Church, has been persuaded to speak ill will upon Amour's husband and family, let them know, that they cannot follow along with the other's, in this negative behaviour, that they cannot speak evil of your blessings on them.

[ But God said to Balaam, “You must not go with them; you must not curse the people, for they are blessed” (Numbers 22:12) ]


Father, people move, transfer and relocate every single day and they are indeed blessed and they prosper. So shall Amour and her husband and children, prosper much and give you the Glory for it. If there is anything lacking, alert them in such a way that they will take heed to your voice and your voice alone and follow your guide, for you are by their side for always.

Thank you that you are Jehovah Shammah, you are already there, at the new location, you have cleared the path for safe travel and you have prepared for them a table in the presence of their 'enemies' (naysayers). You have annointed them for the 'change', strengthen them for the periods of adjustment, sheltered them in a peaceable habitation.

In Jesus Name, Amen and Amen....

Psalm 23

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.


Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.-- KJV

Amour.... Hold on to 'Surely Goodness and Mercy" which shall follow you all the days of your life, that you and Hubbie and family will dwell in the House of the Lord, forever... Amen.

Amour.... You and Hubbie will dwell in the House of the Lord ... forever.

Please take this passage of scripture literally. The House of the Lord...

New Church: Wherever God places you, it will be the House of the Lord.

New Home: The house and home that God has prepared for you.

Your Hearts: God has found a home in yours and Hubbie's hearts, and the hearts of your children forever...

Goodness and Mercy ... right there, all the time.

:bighug:


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thanks Shimmie, this means soo much to me :bighug:
 

SelahOco

Well-Known Member
Prophesy is supposed to confirm what god had already laid on your heart. I don't believe god sends new messages to people without first telling you.

Follow the peace of God. Hearing this story really makes me mad. The pastor is an overseer but you and your dh belong to god.
 

Guitarhero

New Member
If I were you, OP, get your home set up in your new city, move all of your stuff and abruptly leave without alerting them. Juts up and move. No "goodbyes" or anything like that. You've got to get control of your emotions and spirituality and pray that G-d sends you to the right Church because as it stands, you and yours are very much in danger of falling into a cult. Please allow no one else to make your family decisions.
 

Honi

There is no board.
Initial promptings telling you to do something comes from the Spririt. That is what you should follow. Not some pastor with a hidden agenda.

Congrats on the promotion.

Now get packin'
 

Iwanthealthyhair67

Well-Known Member
There are certain responsibilities a pastor has to his congregants and vice versa, even if these elders are operating in a jezebel spirit I don't think that they just just up and leave without a word...

they may not get the 'release' they desire but as members of that church they should say that they are leaving and why, having respect for the pastor and the office that he holds is scriptural and they should make every effort to keep peace





If I were you, OP, get your home set up in your new city, move all of your stuff and abruptly leave without alerting them. Juts up and move. No "goodbyes" or anything like that. You've got to get control of your emotions and spirituality and pray that G-d sends you to the right Church because as it stands, you and yours are very much in danger of falling into a cult. Please allow no one else to make your family decisions.
 
Last edited:
Top