Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hair?

[Sianna]

This might sound like sort of an odd question, but let me explain.

Most of you know how people feel about "our" hair, especially in its natural state. It can't grow beyond SL, it's nappy (meaning ugly) and yadda, yadda, yadda... you know, the usual. With that said, it is also commonly believed among black men, women and children, that if a person descends from anyone who is NOT black, they'll have a "better grade of hair." ohwell:

Well, since going natural I am beginning to learn that, no matter what you try to tell some people, they will hold to these ridiculous beliefs with a ferocity you wouldn't believe! There is just no convincing them otherwise!

Anyway, I say all that to say this, supposedly, my maternal grandmother's parents, are part Indian, both of them. I know this only because my grandmother brags about it at every available opportunity. Growing up I never really believed it because neither my grandmother's or my mother's hair looked the way I though Indian hair should look. *shrugs* Now that I'm an adult... well, I still don't really believe it, (I don't even care) but even if I did I don't think I'd ever tell anyone now!

In these past 10 months since I BC'd and really started taking care of my hair, its growing (retaining) like it never has before. It looks full, healthy, and if I do say so myself, just fantastic! Especially considering how it looked before. If I was (am) descended from a non-black grand-parent, I wouldn't even want to tell anyone now because I wouldn't want them trying to discredit how well my hair is doing, giving the credit to genetics rather than consistent, nurturing hair care. People can be so frustrating at times. *Le Sigh*

Anyone else feel this way?

 

[Mrs. Verde]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

My mom has type 2 WL hair. So always get, what are ya'll mixed with. My answer, black and negroid. I think people are always looking for an excuse to discredit blacks whether it is hair or other things in life. The reality is there are not that many "pure breed" blacks in this country. Massa can probably be found in most of our families. Then the rest of us got that Ingun.

 

[snillohsss]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

I just say black. I find sharing anything else is to complicated and I ain't got time for that.

 

[Qualitee]

Being mixed does not equal looser texture aka "good hair". OP, don't stress yourself out over this. If someone ask you, what are you mixed with? There is no need to lie or avoid answering. Just tell them Indian and black. If they don't believe it, that's there problem not yours. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone. You know who you are and that's all the matters.

 

[Vashti]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

I'd just tell them black because it's the truth. Wouldn't go any further than that because it has nothing to do with the facts. Hair grows and retains length when you take proper care of it.

 

[keepithealthy]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

My mom has type 2 WL hair. So always get, what are ya'll mixed with. My answer, black and negroid. I think people are always looking for an excuse to discredit blacks whether it is hair or other things in life. The reality is there are not that many "pure breed" blacks in this country. Massa can probably be found in most of our families. Then the rest of us got that Ingun.

I just say black. I find sharing anything else is to complicated and I ain't got time for that.

Ladies I so agree

 

[Almaz]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

I am Black I am African I have no Indian blood in me. Yes I do believe in accepting all ancestors

 

[Dragone]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

As other ladies have mentioned, black in this country is by definition 'mixed'. A lot of people don't even know what happened beyond their great-great gramma but they will stay trying to find excuses for why their hair is growing and so and so's isn't.

My mother also had type 2 hair, so you'd think I would have had some 'good hurr' genes somewhere but no one told my nappy head that.

 

[HennaRo]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

I don't even bother. If they aren't happy with what I'm working with then too bad.

 

[Embyra]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

i have 4a silky-3c hair and both my parents are Jamaican and my hair has always been considered long ie shoulder- APL and a bit longer than that

and i have always heard people OUTSIDE my family refer to my hair as ''coolie'' which is why my hair grows which is why this that and yada yada

sadly alot of black people hold on to the negative ideas to comfort themselves as to why such and such isnt working for them

so the reason their hair been ear length for 20 years is cus they have that african in them not the good african (Somali) that bad tough Nigerian hair

i went out with my bff friends recently one asked me if my hair was all mine i said yes ........she then asked me if its relaxed i said i havent had a relaxer in over 2 years a nigerian girl jumped in and told me i got a different grade of hair


take the compliments you get and brush those ignorant comments aside until they willing to change on their own keep it moving

 

[Roux]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

I'm actually incredibly proud to tell people that I am 100% black or AA when asked about my long hair. People assume my daughter is biracial because of her color and hair texture and I am again proud to tell them that she is 100% AA. It really helps people reassess SOME of the myths about our hair.

 

[Victoria44]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

Most black people are obsessed with curls. my hair is 4b/4a. Me retaining length has nothing to do with my hair texture however anytime a friend comments on my growth they say something like "oh, its because you have softer hair, and curls, my hair wouldn't grow that fast" huhh??

i love curls, i love kinks, but its a shame that hair growth in the black community is almost always accredited to having a curls, or soft hair, which leads to "wht are you mixed with?"...

i agree OP, i'd like some acknowledgement for all this hard work !

 

[brownstallion]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

I find it funny that other races also have different types of hair but only African American people have to be "mixed" with something in order to have a different texture. I have seen white and Spanish women with straight hair, curly, big ol bushy thick hair. It's just hair, I'm tired of people making comments about black ppls hair an relate it to being mixed. Yea my grandmother is from Cape Verde however, when it gets to me I have like 1/3 (if that) in my blood so who cares! I have a cousin who goes around saying her skin color, hair, and eyes comes from our grams lol. This is possible but she just wants to be known as being mix instead of just a black girl.

My husband is biracial and his sister married a black man (most of his family has 3c hair) and I'm also black. We both have daughters and my husbands sister daughter has very thick coarse hair and my daughter does not. So it really is just hair, everybody has a special unique type of hair and I love them all.

 

[Urban]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

People will always try and justify their beliefs... I think the term is rationalization?? No matter how ridiculous their reasons are. If it wasn't your family history they'd find some other reason to rationalize the gap between what they observe and what they believe.

When I straightened my hair a few months back and got a barrage of questions from a cousin on how my hair had gotten so long, I tried to her that anyone's hair can grow just like mine has with proper care. I got ... "no, your hair is soft that's why" LOL. Excuse me, what???? It's soft because I keep it conditioned and moisturized.

A good friend of mine, who was present at the time, has recently gone natural and has a beautiful 4c TWA. "So I said, I'm not too sure what you mean, but my hair used to be as short as hers, and it's grown out" She replied "Yes, but your hair hadn't stretched properly." What the HUH???!!!

 

[iri9109]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

people believe what they want the truth to be. my dad is 100% nigerian, my mom is black, and so were her parents, grandparents and great grandparents as far as we know...i've had people question if i had a texturizer/curly perm b/c of my hair curl pattern & texture b/c its not what they think "normal black" hair should be, let alone half nigerian....one of my close friends is 100% nigerian and she always makes comments about my "indian hair", when i'm not indian and never said i was...a couple of weeks ago i changed my pic on twitter & she said my hair was on point in my avatar & i said thanks i just put in in a puff b/c i didnt have time to wash it & she said "ok girl..u got it now stop braggin ur grandpa had a affair with some indian b!tch"

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

So you're worried about explaining your heritage to folks who haven't even asked you about it yet?

Enjoy your hair, no need to worry about something that hasn't happened yet.

I'm convinced that most black have been told they got indian in their family

 

[bahamababe242]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

people believe what they want the truth to be. my dad is 100% nigerian, my mom is black, and so were her parents, grandparents and great grandparents as far as we know...i've had people question if i had a texturizer/curly perm b/c of my hair curl pattern & texture b/c its not what they think "normal black" hair should be, let alone half nigerian....one of my close friends is 100% nigerian and she always makes comments about my "indian hair", when i'm not indian and never said i was...a couple of weeks ago i changed my pic on twitter & she said my hair was on point in my avatar & i said thanks i just put in in a puff b/c i didnt have time to wash it & she said "ok girl..u got it now stop braggin ur grandpa had a affair with some indian b!tch"

that is so crazy, she obviously has alot of issues

 

[*SkolarStar*]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

^^^ highkey, I would have hit her

Back to OP's topic. Both my parents are from jamaica. My mother's parents are black and my dad is mixed with west indian and black. Found this out when I saw her my freshman year of high school and she was trying to school me on the family's history. Her hair is about a 2 and none of my siblings (except my sister supposedly) have 'reaped the benefits'. I say supposedly for my sister because I've never seen her natural hair. She didn't get a relaxer early, I just don't remember since she's 5 years older than me. Her hair has always been between shoulder and apl and now it's at shoulder. She flatirons everyday without heat protectant because she thinks she just has 'good hair'. When people ask about my family history I say I'm black with 1/4 west indian, then they say "but you don't have that good indian sh*t". Smh.

I'll show them in 2 years.

 

[MsLizziA]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

This is a really pointless topic when you think about it. Who cares if you great grandmother's mother's daddy was indian? It doesnt matter because if your MOM was indian you could still come out with 4zzhyih hair!

Prime example, my youngest sister's Grandpa is half white on her mom's side and on my dad's side one of my great grandmother's was half white and the other was half indian... and she came out with 4 b hair! So does it matter? NO! 1 of my sisters has extremely thick hair that took years of relaxer application for it to actually even take! My other sister has really soft cold black hair but she relaxes as well and i have 3c/4a hair.

But it doesn't frickn matter cuz the point im making is genes can pop up anywhere and even if you have frickin 2c hair and you don't take care of it, it wont retain length!

I get so tired of having this convo with my people when they ask me about going natural. I hear all kinds of sh!t like " Oh you got that good hair from yo daddy thas y it grows so easy" I be like, wtf??? Don't yall see my sister's hair?? She's natural, just as long as mine, and we got 2 different hair types!!

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

i don't discuss my background- its easier to just say black. people bein nosy for the wrong reasons anyway, and ignorant. ♥

 

[ilah]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

I have white, black and indian in my family. But you'd never be able to tell by looking at my hair...

 

[KurleeK5]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

Most black people are obsessed with curls. my hair is 4b/4a. Me retaining length has nothing to do with my hair texture however anytime a friend comments on my growth they say something like "oh, its because you have softer hair, and curls, my hair wouldn't grow that fast" huhh??

i love curls, i love kinks, but its a shame that hair growth in the black community is almost always accredited to having a curls, or soft hair, which leads to "wht are you mixed with?"...

i agree OP, i'd like some acknowledgement for all this hard work !

This post came right on time as I sit at my desk one of my co workers just toldm eh ow she could never go natural because her hair isn't as "soft" as mine...I told her moisturized and health hair is soft. I also fidn that a lot of my relaxed friends assume their "new growth" is what their hair will be like. One in particular wants to go natural but says her Hair/NG is dry and coarse, etc. I have to constantly remind her that her hair isn't getting proper moisture so it will feel that way just as mine would if i did not protect and care for it. There are just some people however, you will not get through to.

I agree that most "African Americans" in the U.S. are mixed with some form for Native American or European due to the nature of our arrival and survival here. I also experience the "What are you mixed with" scenerio. I often identify with "African American" because that is what I was taught I was and the culture I closely identify with. Doing research however, you find that there are a variety of mixtures in our blood. I have native american roots and possibly European but i do not let people discredit my african roots expecting my hair to be a specific way when infact I have seen many jewish and irish men and women with such coarse hair. however, I digress....


Some people, particularly OUR people can be very ignorant. smh, but I think it is my job to at least plant a seed of knowledge where possible.

 

[bride91501]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

This is why I'm on a hair growing mission. With 100% Nigerian roots, they won't be able to blame my gorgeous, kinky, nappy WL hair on nothing but damn good care

 

[Glamourstruckk]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

YESSSS! My great-great grandfather was white and I think some of the people on my dad's side were Native American, but as far as I'm concerned I'm just as black as the next person. When I was APL, people would always try to find out if there was a non-black someone in there making my hair that long. I just tell people I'm black and keep it moving. I want people to know that black women, that THEY can have long hair too.

 

[g.lo]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

well, i am mix with black african, portuguese and some arabic, and guess what? my hair hasw never been past my shoulder!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
now that i know how to take care of my natural hair, thanks to LCHF, i love my hair and it 's seems like my texture has changed (or maybe because i had chemical since age 6 that is why i couldn't remember my natural texture)

 

[ms.blue]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

I'm a 100% Ghanaian and I never really had problems growing my hair. One person told me b/c I had done some "african voodoo" to grow my hair.erplexed (I only had apl hair) Some people is just ignorant about hair care in general.

 

[PearlyCurly]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

As my hair grows more, my family members tell me stuff like "Oh thats because you have a good grade of hair" & "Oh i cant go natural because i dont have good hair". I hate it! It makes me cringe And the crazy thing is, out of all the black ppl i know who say they have Indian in their family, my family actually does. But i truly believe that has nothing to do with the growth of my hair or even curls!!! I use to give a speech about "there is no good hair", "you dont need to be half white to have looser curls", blah!blah!blah! But it really went in one ear & out the other. So now i dont even waste my time.

I dont even care about the whole discrediting part, its just that they are giving me a back handed compliment(well in my mind!) but they are also being ignorant towards them self too.

About 3 years ago before i went natural, i would show my mom different ladies on Fotki and she would just assume either their hair is fake or they were mixed. And i gladly tell her "No, they black & mow black". I now like to show her long haired naturals with her curl pattern(she is mostly 4a) and prove that you do not need to be mixed to have long hair.
I was also just talking to her about the "Dirt makes black hair grow", i was really trying to figure out who in the hell made up that lie

...You know, i can go hours talking about this topic but i wont right now...

 

[aa9746]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

This might sound like sort of an odd question, but let me explain.

Most of you know how people feel about "our" hair, especially in its natural state. It can't grow beyond SL, it's nappy (meaning ugly) and yadda, yadda, yadda... you know, the usual. With that said, it is also commonly believed among black men, women and children, that if a person descends from anyone who is NOT black, they'll have a "better grade of hair." ohwell:

Well, since going natural I am beginning to learn that, no matter what you try to tell some people, they will hold to these ridiculous beliefs with a ferocity you wouldn't believe! There is just no convincing them otherwise!

Anyway, I say all that to say this, supposedly, my maternal grandmother's parents, are part Indian, both of them. I know this only because my grandmother brags about it at every available opportunity. Growing up I never really believed it because neither my grandmother's or my mother's hair looked the way I though Indian hair should look. *shrugs* Now that I'm an adult... well, I still don't really believe it, (I don't even care) but even if I did I don't think I'd ever tell anyone now!

In these past 10 months since I BC'd and really started taking care of my hair, its growing (retaining) like it never has before. It looks full, healthy, and if I do say so myself, just fantastic! Especially considering how it looked before. If I was (am) descended from a non-black grand-parent, I wouldn't even want to tell anyone now because I wouldn't want them trying to discredit how well my hair is doing, giving the credit to genetics rather than consistent, nurturing hair care. People can be so frustrating at times. *Le Sigh*

Anyone else feel this way?

Thanks for bringing this up cuz i'm usually too lazy to post more than 2-3 lines. I've actually seen a pic. of my husband's grandmother that was 1/2 indian and she had long silky hair. My husband's father's hair is coarse and my husband's hair is just like my 4b hair no curl pattern.

 

[Almaz]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

At the bolded. Well if THAT were the case then you would be the wealthiest woman on earth you would be so rich you could lend Bill Gates, Warren Buffett and Carlos Helou Slim some money.

Wow if that were case Dang. If thats all it took then all BW would have a man be super rich. And it would be a lot more Black women walking around with 1a hair. If it were that easy sheesh

Like I posted in another Thread a few years back that I have a friend who went natural 5 years ago. In the beginning it was a little rough for her because he was addicted to the creamy crack at age 7 and her family made fun of her. Well 5 years later she has the most beautiful mane of thick luscious hair you could possibly ever want. Her hair is acutally a little closer to mine in texture but because her mom believed the hype when she was young it was like a right of passage to get a perm. The never saw what her natural hair looked like. Oh they made fun of her and everything but now her sister is saying oh you got Good Hair like your friend Almaz you must have some Indian or Ethiopian in your or something.

Guess what her sister is her IDENTICAL TWIN. IDENTICAL MIRROR TWIN.

no go figure

smdh

I'm a 100% Ghanaian and I never really had problems growing my hair. One person told me b/c I had done some "african voodoo" to grow my hair.erplexed (I only had apl hair) Some people is just ignorant about hair care in general.

 

[Geminigirl]

Re: Do You Find Yourself Unwilling to Discuss Your Family History Because of Your Hai

nope, just like someone else mentioned when the time comes I will be oh so proud to say i'm straight up AA/BLACK. Supposedly we have some Indian in my fam, I am not entirely sure where cause I never inquired cause I don't care. It doesn't make me any less black.

Even when my hair does get long I doubt people will ask if I am mixed for the simple fact I am dark skinned. The only thing people think I am mixed or AM is African, Jamaican, or I'm from the Caribbeans. I politely tell them no I am from here, but THAT to me is a compliment. I feel exotic. This happens only sometimes depending on my style I am wearing but secretly I heart it lol.