Do you feel obligated to grow your hair long?

[Darenia]

Does anyone else ever feel pressured/obligated to grow or keep their hair long on behalf of the AA community, family or friends?

I ask because I have BCd from APL or BSB a few times and each time someone got very upset with me. Once someone got mad at my husband and yelled at him for "allowing" me to cut my hair. When I tell them it's just hair, it will grow back they act so disappointed and betrayed .

Also, alot of my friends are other than AAs and they ask me some of the most stupid questions (you all have heard them) about black hair. They are almost amazed that it is even at APL and not broken or dry. It makes me want to grow my hair longer just to shut their mouths.

Am I alone in this?

 

[nikolite]

Sometimes I feel the same way. I am dedicated to growing my hair out, so my own motivation to see how far I can grow is pressure, but I've also already told my husband what my goal was, so now he pressures me too. I recently cut my hair and he just shook his head and acted real disappointed over it. He was mad because he saw some growth (I'd gone from CBL to close to BSB) but when I cut it back to CBL (I had been holding on to thinning ends) he acted betrayed. As if it was his hair too.

No one else in my life knows what my goal is though, so I don't feel any pressure from them to grow my hair long. That was a smart decision on my part (to keep my HHJ somewhat of a secret) because I don't have to feel any pressure from them. I have no doubt if I had told them beforehand they would be driving me crazy.

 

[Truth]

Nope. I BC'd from BSB hair. EVERYONNNEEEE got upset. I didn't really care. I had achieved what I wanted (healthy long relaxed hair) and wanted something different. So I BC'd and kept it moving. Can't please everyone, and I don't plan on trying. My motto is unless you plan on doing it for me, shut the hell up and let me do what I want.

 

[Chaosbutterfly]

I started growing out my hair to shut people up. Not on behalf of the AA community or to represent for black girls, but just because people were always putting me down because my hair wasn't long and everyone else in my family's was.

Now I just do it because I think long hair is pretty.
And next time someone gets on you about cutting your hair, just let them know that nobody appointed you national spokesperson for black girl hair so you don't owe them nuftin.

 

[hola_lo2002]

Not at all!!! I just look better with long hair so that's why I'm growing out my hair! Yeah, a big face with short hair doesn't look too good so...

 

[Solitude]

I cut my hair from past APL back to SL a few weeks ago and my mom still hasn't stopped talking about it. "Don't let anyone cut your hair again."

I keep telling her I went to SuperCuts because I wanted my hair (and my bangs) cut. It wasn't some scissor happy stylist who hacked my hair off. It's annoying and it makes me feel a bit self-conscious. She never had anything to say about my hair length when I wore it in a bob for years during college. Once I started growing it, I started feeling a bit of pressure from the people around me to keep going since they are watching my progress. I've decided not to cut my hair again for a long time...

 

[NewHairWOWeave]

No , I don't feel obligated. But I can understand how you feel. At one time I wanted to cut my hair off and I got the third degree from everyone. When I decided to just let my hair grown everyone was like why don't you cut it . But I realized that what ever I do to my hair is my decision and no one else concern. I am interested in how long I can grow it but I really don't want supeeeer long hair. I would be surprised if I got to waist length and I would probably stop there or cut it to bsl, or mbl.

 

[PennyK]

Yeah I know how you feel OP. My aunt is a cosmetologist and adores my hair. So whenever I get near a pair of scissors she freaks out. No one I know wants me to cut my hair But I have no obligations. I'm growing my hair out for me, not them

 

[cinnespice]

Never. Its my hair. I'm obligated to take care of my own and not care what anybody says.If anyone is that upset over MY hair they can kick rocks cause they are not the ones taking care of it.

 

[iamtan]

In a way I do because that is the "standard of beauty" for most people but then I want to challenge myself to grow my hair long and healthy. The longest I've been was APL and that was when I was about 10ish. I want to be MBL to prove to myself that I am capable of growing my hair that long.

 

[mischka]

Obligated by who or what? Absolutely not. I want to grow my hair for my own ends; me and my bigass head. And plus i think it's really lame to go my whole life not being able to care for my hair well enough to the point that it never grows out.

 

[greenandchic]

Never. As much as I love long hair, hair health is more important. Unless the hair cutting naysayers pitch some cash in for my hair products, they have nothing to say.

 

[MsLizziA]

I don't feel obligated,its just something i want to do. But i can guarantee you that if i cut my hair today everyone would side-eye me like i just cut their hair off their head or something.

Honestly though i want to be an inspiration to the women in my family and other women as well. While i understand that not everyone wants long hair, you can't make me believe that everyone doesnt want healthy hair

 

[CrueltyFree]

I don't feel obligated but sometimes my mom and sister nag me about my hair. In December I went from SL to TWA and they nagged me, especially my mom, about how I shouldn't have ever cut it and it'll never grow back and . I was at >2 inches in January and now I'm at about 5 inches so...ya. I ain't worried. My hair was damaged and it had to go!

I've been natural for over 4 years, I've been on my HHJ for 2.5 years, and my hair hoovered around the same length for 2.5 years. Other people may not make me feel obligated to grow my hair long (which to me, BSL will be satisfying) but I feel the need to challenge myself to grow my hair to lengths I've never seen it before.

 

[Whimsy]

When I was young, yes. But past 18 years old? Hell no. It's my hair. I'll cut it when I want (even if my girls in the hip length challenge try to beat my butt because of it lol)

 

[missjones]

Not right now. I'm sure somebody will be mad at me when I do BC but it's my hair and they are not the boss of me.

 

[lilyofthenile]

I remember as a kid cutting about three inches of hair and my mom lost it.

The thing is they want us to hold onto the hair because they feel like we can't get it back, for some weird reason.

I want to grow long hair though because I like myself better with long hair, but I sometimes feel and notice what you've experienced.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

Does anyone else ever feel pressured/obligated to grow or keep their hair long on behalf of the AA community, family or friends?

I ask because I have BCd from APL or BSB a few times and each time someone got very upset with me. Once someone got mad at my husband and yelled at him for "allowing" me to cut my hair. When I tell them it's just hair, it will grow back they act so disappointed and betrayed .

Also, alot of my friends are other than AAs and they ask me some of the most stupid questions (you all have heard them) about black hair. They are almost amazed that it is even at APL and not broken or dry. It makes me want to grow my hair longer just to shut their mouths.

Am I alone in this?

Funny you should mention. People have definitely tried to make me feel pressured. I truly don't care. I do with my hair what I feel at the time. I've hacked it all off, trimmed it back dramatically, grown it out of really cute styles, copied something I saw on TV, it just depends on what I'm feeling at the time. Right now I want to see my natural hair. So that's what's up. I know if I BC people will go haywire, but...yeah...that's on them. I'm also lucky my DH supports anything I'm into, so he is not picky about hair long or short, relaxed, natural or in between. He knows when Mama's happy with her hair, Mama's happy, and when Mama's happy, everybody's happy! LOL

 

[Darenia]

You ladies really are great. Thank you all for your comments. I just got a lecture earlier about worrying too much about what other people say. Apparently, it holds me back from alot of things. I am going to continue to grow my hair long and heathly. But for me.

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

Great point! I haven't experienced this because I can never picture myself cutting my hair. But I think I have been that person that is "outraged" or shocked when someone cuts their hair from long (full APL and beyond) to shorter lengths. Especially when it is just out of boredom. I can admit to having said to women in the past "People pay to have hair like that and you just cut yours off!"

However, I have started to feel pressure from YT subbies to stay relaxed. I guess some viewers are kind've tired of "all their favorites" (their words exactly) relaxed ladies transitioning or just popping up with a BC. I kind of feel where they are coming from though so it doesn't upset me at all.

My goal is to not do anything out of boredom once I reach my hair goals. I've ALWAYS wanted long hair as long as I can remember and I pray I don't ever take it for granted when I reach MBL. I get the whole "its just hair" cutting phenomenon thats going on...but for me something I've worked so hard for is worth keeping.

 

[Lovelylocs]

No obligation. I just like long hair. But, I understand what you are saying.

 

[SmilingElephant]

I'm not obligated. But man was my family HEATED when I BC'd. And I laughed in alllllllllllllllllll their faces.

It felt good to jump out of the comfort zone and do something edgy and something I wanted to do.

But I am missing the ease of having long hair so I am aiming for WL again...stretched. I miss my ponytail!!!