DH Not on Board w/ Big Chop

[MsJellie]

Ok, so I feel like I have a problem, but not really b/c it's my hair and ultimately my decision. The entire back section of my hair is horribly broken off. Some sections are less than 1/2 an inch, others are just an inch. I'm not sure of the "exact" cause but, I figure it's due to bad self-relaxing, self-coloring, and just a lack of TLC over the last few months. I'm at the point now where I just want to BC and start fresh. I did this before, back in 2005. I'm talking "went to the barber shop and let my friend shave all of my hair off" BC. This is also the time where DH stopped being "just friends" and started dating so it's not like he hasn't seen this before.

DH cuts his own hair so I figured he would use the clippers for me. When I asked would he, he said no. After asking over and over why he wouldn't, he finally told me that I had done all of this talking about growing my hair long and now I'm talking about cutting it all off. He says he's never known me to have long hair (I've always had it cut short (like Halle Berry back in the day) and this is the longest it's been in years) and he had gotten it in his head that my hair would be different. He said he doesn't really like "short, short hair".

But, it's not like I'm going to cut it off and leave it off. Through trial and error, I've learned what I should do and what I should leave to the professionals. With that knowledge, I want to start over so I can make great progress.

So, I'm at a crossroads. He's told me that he knows that I'll do what I want regarding my hair, that I've always done so. It just sucks that I don't have his support in this, when he's helped with my hair before. I'm going to cut it, I just don't know if I should cut it myself, with his clippers (hoping that he'll end up helping me if he sees me messing up) or just go to a barber shop and let someone else cut it.

Has anyone ever made a hair decision that your SO wasn't very supportive of? TIA for the responses.

 

[Caramela]

My hair is MBL and when I met my husband I told him my goals of growing it to my waist. He, like most men, love long hair. So he was all for it. About 6 months after being married I tell him that I want to go natural and BC all my hair. Needless to say, he's not feeling that, doesn't like short hair and isn't all that fond of the "natural" (nappy as he calls it) look. Eventhough it's my hair, he's my husband and I want to be attractive to him. Being natural isn't all that serious to me, and although I'd like to do it, because he strongly opposes to it, it makes me atleast consider where he's coming from. I take into consideration his requests while making my hair decisions. I can still do long stretches, but more than likely I am going to either end up relaxing or transitioning without BC'ing.
He does the same for me though. For example... my husband's hair is thinning SEVERELY in the front, but he recently had the bright idea to grow his dreads back. Because his hair is so thin in the front, it looked AWFUL> Think Michael'n'em from Good Times. YUCK! I told him it was unnattractive to me, but still supported him because I knew he wanted to do it. Ultimately he cut his hair down and it looks great If it were not for me, he wouldn't have done this.

 

[*5+5]

I know exactly how u feel. When I met SO he told me he had a bad fetish for long hair I was Neck Length at the time and he told me he wanted me to grow it long. At the time I didn't know about the hair boards or how to properly grow it long and my hair would grow, break & my stylist would take it upon herself to cut it when she felt like it.

Two months before I found the boards she cut my hair to EL it was cute but he was mad!! I just cut my hair to Nape Length in Jan and he doesn't even know yet b/c of all of my protective styling...he doesn't support the short hair movement too much...he's ok w/the growth process but if he had any clue I cut my hair again I'm sure all hell would break loose...luckily for me my hair seems to be growing back fast. Also he likes up-dos so I've been throwing him off w/the bra-strap headbands and cute up-dos that I found on southerntease.net!

Hang in there girl...it'll grow back in no time...I cut my hair for the same exact reason.

 

[Ms. Plain Jane]

My hair is MBL and when I met my husband I told him my goals of growing it to my waist. He, like most men, love long hair. So he was all for it. About 6 months after being married I tell him that I want to go natural and BC all my hair. Needless to say, he's not feeling that, doesn't like short hair and isn't all that fond of the "natural" (nappy as he calls it) look. Eventhough it's my hair, he's my husband and I want to be attractive to him. Being natural isn't all that serious to me, and although I'd like to do it, because he strongly opposes to it, it makes me atleast consider where he's coming from. I take into consideration his requests while making my hair decisions. I can still do long stretches, but more than likely I am going to either end up relaxing or transitioning without BC'ing.
He does the same for me though. For example... my husband's hair is thinning SEVERELY in the front, but he recently had the bright idea to grow his dreads back. Because his hair is so thin in the front, it looked AWFUL> Think Michael'n'em from Good Times. YUCK! I told him it was unnattractive to me, but still supported him because I knew he wanted to do it. Ultimately he cut his hair down and it looks great If it were not for me, he wouldn't have done this.

You should buy him some BT.

 

[Caramela]

You should buy him some BT.

We tried ORS temple balm because his hair thinned in part because he pulled his dreads back all the time when he had them. It didn't work. I like the low cut much better anyway. Only one hair-obsessed-family-member per family, Ms.PlainJane! I can't have him pushing me out of the way when I'm trying to get on LHCF so he can get on! LOL

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

My husband met me when my hair was shoulder length and during most of our marriage I had the Halle Berry cut. I had been struggling for years with going natural but didn't know how. I did research and saw how women did the Big Chop and just cut it all off. I did not tell my husband of my decision. He came home one day and my hair was only 1/4" long! He just looked and me and wasn't mad, but he wasn't pleased either. I told him what my hair goals were, and eventually it grew on him. Well fast-forward 5 years later, he compliments my hair, and likes it better natural than straight, it was a long journey, but the bottom line is I had to do what was best for me and my hair. I hope that you and your husband can come to some sort of agreement about your hair goals. No one can tell you what to do, because you're the one who is in your relationship.

 

[Tootuff]

I didn't talk to my DH before I did the BC and I was so ashamed of how I looked that I tried to avoid letting him see it after I did it. I would put on a bonnet or a scarf and he didnt know what was going on. Until one day he came in and I was asleep on the couch and he saw it.

He absolutely hated it and told me so over and over and over again. He teased me unmercifully (not nice but that's how we play ). Now my hair is longer than it's ever been since he's known me but his hair will never grow back on top and I tell him that over and over and over again.

 

[kweenameena]

How does he feel about weaves? Perhaps you could cut it and then weave it, braid it, or wig it up. Just explain to him the crown and glory method and then follow that for awhile.
I do think that you should take into consideration his opinion but maybe you two can find a middle ground to agree on.

 

[growth2come]

How about a compromise....you chop your hair then get it weaved for a while or some sort of style that will give you length for a while if he is not willing to even see short hair (You both win - you have short hair underneath and he gets to see some "hur")....or you could slowly trim your hair as it grow if you have the patience for it....

 

[LivingDoll]

I had the opposite problem. My last SO (notice I said last) LOVED short hair. I wanted to grow my hair and he was against it. He didn't like head scarves, hair bonnets, hair nets, etc. He loved that I could just go to sleep on my satin pillowcase and my hair would look good when I woke up. Everytime I let my hair grow a little, he let me know that it was "getting long" and would ask when I was gonna "get a trim". He always said that shorter hair allowed him to see my beautiful face.

Fast forward to now. I wish I wouldn't have listened to him and just did what I wanted. My hair probably would've been at least SL by now. In your case it's different. You're married. I understand your dilemma. You want to be true to yourself but you also want your husband's support. You have to find a happy medium. Maybe you can cut it to the breakage point all over, instead of shaving it?

 

[Ms.Honey]

When I did the BC my husband literally fell to his knees and screamed "NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" for 10 minutes straight, bastard. It's hilarious now but I was super pissed at the time. The next day he brought me flowers. I looked at them and said," I don't want you're stinking guilt flowers". Needless to say I could walk around here with feathers and sparkles glued to my hair and he'd say how lovely it looks, hehehehehe.
They get over it. If you really feel the need to do it, mine was uneven and plus I wanted to see what "My real hair looked like", explain to him again and let him know that you respect his wishes but you're cutting it anyway. For, "Oh this would look so cute on me" BC, I'd say seriously consider conceding to the husbands desires. After all if mine had decided that he'd like to do a "Martin goes crazy" (cornrows on one side and an afro on the other) I would have a BIGGGGG problem and would DEMAND that he not get it

 

[MsJellie]

Thanks for all of the support, ideas, and stories ladies. I guess what's so hard for me to understand is that we started dating when my hair was a TWA. He went through that phase with me (getting gel twists b/c it was too short for me to twists, then some braids, then being able to twist it myself). Hell, he would even help me part it in the back when I was twisting it. So now that I need to go back to it (and stay away from self-chemical applications) he seems to be against it.

I do have a wig. He even picked it out! I was only going to wear the wig off and on until it was long enough to get some braids. As for gradually trimming it, I just feel so weird about having damaged hair on my head.

I think deep down he'll get over it and in the end will understand why it had to be done. It's just wondering how it's going to be until he does get over it that gets me.

 

[beautifulisaunderstatment]

I think you should compromise. Thats what marriage is about IMHO. Why not get a good trim and go from there? Did you explain to him why you want to cut it and show him the damage?

 

[Mook's hair]

Do you really feel like you have to do a cut with the clippers?
Your hair looks shoulder length in the siggy and it doesn't look bad.
I understand your saying that the nape is jacked, so maybe you could just do a very aggressive trim all over and cut down the nape a lot. Then avoid color & heat for a while and only relax your nape every other touchup. Hair is resilient. It will be back healthy again before you know it.

It also sounds like you might be making a rushed hair decision out of frustration with your breakage. You might want to take some time before rushing into a drastic chop.

I personally feel that you should consider his feelings. You are 1, it's not just your hair. Me personally, I don't get good relationship outcome when I dis' my husband. I'd find that the important areas of my life go much better for me when I cater to or at least pacify his feelings.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Thanks for all of the support, ideas, and stories ladies. I guess what's so hard for me to understand is that we started dating when my hair was a TWA. He went through that phase with me (getting gel twists b/c it was too short for me to twists, then some braids, then being able to twist it myself). Hell, he would even help me part it in the back when I was twisting it. So now that I need to go back to it (and stay away from self-chemical applications) he seems to be against it.

I do have a wig. He even picked it out! I was only going to wear the wig off and on until it was long enough to get some braids. As for gradually trimming it, I just feel so weird about having damaged hair on my head.

I think deep down he'll get over it and in the end will understand why it had to be done. It's just wondering how it's going to be until he does get over it that gets me.

Have you explained that first paragraph to him? Do you know what his reasons are? Try to gain an understanding of his feeling about it and his reasons/logic behind it. He may be feeling some things you're unaware of.

I understand that you may feel "weird" about having the damaged hair on your head, but like a PP mentioned you could trim it off gradually instead of doing a big, dramatic cut. I think that would be a fair compromise...you would get the damaged hair gone, and he wouldn't have to stomach your Southside fade.

He probably would get over it eventually, but is this something worth alienating him over? I know the feminists wanna throw a shoe at me for that, but I'm all about compromise and harmony in a marriage. It doesn't have to be a tug of war. Let him know that you understand and appreciate where he's coming from and make a valiant effort to compromise. After all, you never know when the tables may turn...

Good luck!

 

[angaliquew]

Ok, so I feel like I have a problem, but not really b/c it's my hair and ultimately my decision. The entire back section of my hair is horribly broken off. Some sections are less than 1/2 an inch, others are just an inch. I'm not sure of the "exact" cause but, I figure it's due to bad self-relaxing, self-coloring, and just a lack of TLC over the last few months. I'm at the point now where I just want to BC and start fresh. I did this before, back in 2005. I'm talking "went to the barber shop and let my friend shave all of my hair off" BC. This is also the time where DH stopped being "just friends" and started dating so it's not like he hasn't seen this before.

DH cuts his own hair so I figured he would use the clippers for me. When I asked would he, he said no. After asking over and over why he wouldn't, he finally told me that I had done all of this talking about growing my hair long and now I'm talking about cutting it all off. He says he's never known me to have long hair (I've always had it cut short (like Halle Berry back in the day) and this is the longest it's been in years) and he had gotten it in his head that my hair would be different. He said he doesn't really like "short, short hair".

But, it's not like I'm going to cut it off and leave it off. Through trial and error, I've learned what I should do and what I should leave to the professionals. With that knowledge, I want to start over so I can make great progress.

So, I'm at a crossroads. He's told me that he knows that I'll do what I want regarding my hair, that I've always done so. It just sucks that I don't have his support in this, when he's helped with my hair before. I'm going to cut it, I just don't know if I should cut it myself, with his clippers (hoping that he'll end up helping me if he sees me messing up) or just go to a barber shop and let someone else cut it.

Has anyone ever made a hair decision that your SO wasn't very supportive of? TIA for the responses.

(((HUG))) I understand what you're going through...

My hair was shoulder length when I met my DH...I had just decided to get a relaxer and within 3 months my hair was shedding, paper thin and my nape was less than an inch long.

I then decided to cut my hair (chin length)and transition with braids... although my DH (at the time my SO) expressed that he was not a fan of braids, he was supportive.

Fast forward to now...the nape of my neck is about 2 inches from arm pit and my hair is crazy thick. Keep in mind within the past 2 yrs. I've cut a few inches off my hair at least 5 times (trying to get rid of heat damage). While it pissed my husband off, at the end of the day I had to do what I felt was best for my hair.

Just the other week I took my hair out of braids and flat ironed it...my husband loved it and wanted me to keep it like that.

I realize that my husband met me a certain way and I can't fault him for having a preference to straight hair. But, I refuse to start rountinely pressing out my natural hair until I reach my hair goal(full APL) and feel comfortable with it....regardless of how many Chaka Khan jokes I have to endure.
So,we came to a compromise that I would wear protective straight styles (half wigs) which I also like because it gives me versatility while being able to take care of my natural hair.

 

[Sly]

For those considering a big chop, I would suggest: consider his feelings, thoughts, opinions, etc. Why not? Plus, you might need his support and encouragement through the transition.
My friend cut her hair to TWA on this "it's-MY-hair-I-don't-have-to- consult-him" tip and her husband was more hurt she didn't ask (his opinion). And further, when she went through her awkard stage with styling and needed his "babe, your still beautiful"s he was like and took a "you're the one who decided to cut it" attitude. . . Men are attached to hair (esp length) more than we think.

 

[hopeful]

I hope he comes around. I would suggest bc'ing and wigging. That way you get what you want and he gets what he wants. You can baby your hair constantly. At one point when I couldn't figure out what to do with my hair, I wore a wig for about 4 months and kept my hair in twists that I kept moist with s-curl--my hair hair grew so quickly from the low manipulation and the moisture. If you bc now, by next spring you won't be able to keep him out of your hair. It sounds like you just really want to give yourself and your hair a fresh start, I can understand that.

 

[*5+5]

For those considering a big chop, I would suggest: consider his feelings, thoughts, opinions, etc. Why not? Plus, you might need his support and encouragement through the transition.
My friend cut her hair to TWA on this "it's-MY-hair-I-don't-have-to- consult-him" tip and her husband was more hurt she didn't ask (his opinion). And further, when she went through her awkard stage with styling and needed his "babe, your still beautiful"s he was like and took a "you're the one who decided to cut it" attitude. . . Men are attached to hair (esp length) more than we think.

One thang for certain, two things for sure Men are really attached to length. I hadn't always known they were strictly attached, I thought it was a mere preference...I still wonder why tho'..

 

[queenbee8687]

We tried ORS temple balm because his hair thinned in part because he pulled his dreads back all the time when he had them. It didn't work. I like the low cut much better anyway. Only one hair-obsessed-family-member per family, Ms.PlainJane! I can't have him pushing me out of the way when I'm trying to get on LHCF so he can get on! LOL

 

[queenbee8687]

(((HUG))) I understand what you're going through...

My hair was shoulder length when I met my DH...I had just decided to get a relaxer and within 3 months my hair was shedding, paper thin and my nape was less than an inch long.

I then decided to cut my hair (chin length)and transition with braids... although my DH (at the time my SO) expressed that he was not a fan of braids, he was supportive.

Fast forward to now...the nape of my neck is about 2 inches from arm pit and my hair is crazy thick. Keep in mind within the past 2 yrs. I've cut a few inches off my hair at least 5 times (trying to get rid of heat damage). While it pissed my husband off, at the end of the day I had to do what I felt was best for my hair.

Just the other week I took my hair out of braids and flat ironed it...my husband loved it and wanted me to keep it like that.

I realize that my husband met me a certain way and I can't fault him for having a preference to straight hair. But, I refuse to start rountinely pressing out my natural hair until I reach my hair goal(full APL) and feel comfortable with it....regardless of how many Chaka Khan jokes I have to endure.
So,we came to a compromise that I would wear protective straight styles (half wigs) which I also like because it gives me versatility while being able to take care of my natural hair.

OT: That kitty in ur siggy has my laptop!!

 

[MsJellie]

I think you should compromise. Thats what marriage is about IMHO. Why not get a good trim and go from there? Did you explain to him why you want to cut it and show him the damage?

Yes, I did show him the damage last night. Got down on the floor, lifted up my hair and showed him just how much it was broken off. His response to me was "Are you trying to convince me?".

 

[MsJellie]

Do you really feel like you have to do a cut with the clippers?
Your hair looks shoulder length in the siggy and it doesn't look bad.
I understand your saying that the nape is jacked, so maybe you could just do a very aggressive trim all over and cut down the nape a lot. Then avoid color & heat for a while and only relax your nape every other touchup. Hair is resilient. It will be back healthy again before you know it.

It also sounds like you might be making a rushed hair decision out of frustration with your breakage. You might want to take some time before rushing into a drastic chop.

I personally feel that you should consider his feelings. You are 1, it's not just your hair. Me personally, I don't get good relationship outcome when I dis' my husband. I'd find that the important areas of my life go much better for me when I cater to or at least pacify his feelings.

It's not just the nape area. The breakage goes from my nape to the top of my ears. There are also little sections in the front of my hair that have broken off to just 1inch. The only heat I use is from deep conditioning under a heat cap and sitting under a dryer for roller sets. I want to go back to being natural and had preferred to just to a BC as opposed to transitioning. I have considered his feelings (which is mainly the reason why I asked him in the first place and haven't yet cut my hair). I'm just not sure what form of "compromise" can be had if I ultimately want to be natural and am working with damaged hair. The hair has been damaged since December of '07. I've just been trying to hang on to it. I'm afraid that if I do go back to my stylist, she'll recommend that I go back to the "Halle Berry" cut (relaxed) since she doesn't really work with natural hair.

 

[MsJellie]

Have you explained that first paragraph to him? Do you know what his reasons are? Try to gain an understanding of his feeling about it and his reasons/logic behind it. He may be feeling some things you're unaware of.

I understand that you may feel "weird" about having the damaged hair on your head, but like a PP mentioned you could trim it off gradually instead of doing a big, dramatic cut. I think that would be a fair compromise...you would get the damaged hair gone, and he wouldn't have to stomach your Southside fade.

He probably would get over it eventually, but is this something worth alienating him over? I know the feminists wanna throw a shoe at me for that, but I'm all about compromise and harmony in a marriage. It doesn't have to be a tug of war. Let him know that you understand and appreciate where he's coming from and make a valiant effort to compromise. After all, you never know when the tables may turn...

Good luck!

Thanks. Yes, I did tell him just that, about how when we first started dating, I had a TWA. His comment was more along the lines of "he didn't have a choice" when we first started dating The only thing he's ever said about hair is that he doesn't like locks (but didn't have an issue when my natural hair was twisted....I guess it's the "permanent" thing...) He never came out and said he prefers long hair to short hair (even though now his actions are leaning towards that feeling), or relaxed hair to natural hair.

Thank you everyone for your comments. I'll reach out to him again to see what form of compromise can be reached.

 

[Moroni]

Ok, so I feel like I have a problem, but not really b/c it's my hair and ultimately my decision. The entire back section of my hair is horribly broken off. Some sections are less than 1/2 an inch, others are just an inch. I'm not sure of the "exact" cause but, I figure it's due to bad self-relaxing, self-coloring, and just a lack of TLC over the last few months. I'm at the point now where I just want to BC and start fresh. I did this before, back in 2005. I'm talking "went to the barber shop and let my friend shave all of my hair off" BC. This is also the time where DH stopped being "just friends" and started dating so it's not like he hasn't seen this before.

DH cuts his own hair so I figured he would use the clippers for me. When I asked would he, he said no. After asking over and over why he wouldn't, he finally told me that I had done all of this talking about growing my hair long and now I'm talking about cutting it all off. He says he's never known me to have long hair (I've always had it cut short (like Halle Berry back in the day) and this is the longest it's been in years) and he had gotten it in his head that my hair would be different. He said he doesn't really like "short, short hair".

But, it's not like I'm going to cut it off and leave it off. Through trial and error, I've learned what I should do and what I should leave to the professionals. With that knowledge, I want to start over so I can make great progress.

So, I'm at a crossroads. He's told me that he knows that I'll do what I want regarding my hair, that I've always done so. It just sucks that I don't have his support in this, when he's helped with my hair before. I'm going to cut it, I just don't know if I should cut it myself, with his clippers (hoping that he'll end up helping me if he sees me messing up) or just go to a barber shop and let someone else cut it.

Has anyone ever made a hair decision that your SO wasn't very supportive of? TIA for the responses.

It's so important to men to know that their wives value their opinion, that they take it personally when we seemingly reject what they think is important (and do what we want to do). Is it possible to protect your hair while it recovers from the damage with a weave or some other type of extensions? That way you get to grow your hair AND maintain the look he wants. HTH

 

[Southernbella.]

I didn't talk to my DH before I did the BC and I was so ashamed of how I looked that I tried to avoid letting him see it after I did it. I would put on a bonnet or a scarf and he didnt know what was going on. Until one day he came in and I was asleep on the couch and he saw it.

He absolutely hated it and told me so over and over and over again. He teased me unmercifully (not nice but that's how we play ). Now my hair is longer than it's ever been since he's known me but his hair will never grow back on top and I tell him that over and over and over again.

Yall sound like me and my dh. He knew beforehand, but I didn't want him to see my BC at first either. The night I did it, I kept my towel on my head. He didn't actually see it until that next evening.

He teases me, too. The day I did my twists, he came home talking about "What's up, O-Dog?" That's how we do, though.

But yeah, it's growing on him. He told me before I cut it that he didn't really want me to, but that it was ultimately my choice, so I chose what felt right for me.

OP, I understand your hesitation because we always want to please our mates. If this were a style choice, I'd probably say his opinion matters a lot, but since this is health we're talking, I'm more inclined to tell you to go ahead and cut it. Explain to him that the health of your hair is important to you and that it may only get worse if you don't cut it and start fresh.

At the end of the day, if you are unhappy with what you see in the mirror, no amount of approval from your dh is going to matter.

 

[PassionFruit]

While I love my husband and value his OPINION, my hair & clothing choices are MINE... He can like it or not like it ( the hair that is) ..I dont wear it for him, I wear it for me.... I wear nighties for me, not for him...
I wear heels for me....

If/when I wear my hair short, its for ME

oddly, I have the opposite problem than the OP.. my husband doesnt like long hair... he hate perms & braids as well.... If I wore a Erykah Badu or Angela Davis fro he'd be ecstatic

 

[Southernbella.]

It's not just the nape area. The breakage goes from my nape to the top of my ears. There are also little sections in the front of my hair that have broken off to just 1inch. The only heat I use is from deep conditioning under a heat cap and sitting under a dryer for roller sets. I want to go back to being natural and had preferred to just to a BC as opposed to transitioning. I have considered his feelings (which is mainly the reason why I asked him in the first place and haven't yet cut my hair). I'm just not sure what form of "compromise" can be had if I ultimately want to be natural and am working with damaged hair. The hair has been damaged since December of '07. I've just been trying to hang on to it. I'm afraid that if I do go back to my stylist, she'll recommend that I go back to the "Halle Berry" cut (relaxed) since she doesn't really work with natural hair.

Ah, ok. I was thinking you wanted to just cut the damaged part out. If you want to be natural anyway, then there really isn't a lot to compromise on. I'm all for harmony and considering your spouse's feelings, but I don't see why you should have to continue to relax if you really don't want to. That's not compromise.

Maybe the compromise could be that you agree to transition to natural, maybe with braids, so that he never has to see you in the TWA stage. That way he gets the length and you get the natural.

 

[hopeful]

Yes, I did show him the damage last night. Got down on the floor, lifted up my hair and showed him just how much it was broken off. His response to me was "Are you trying to convince me?".

Oooh girl, I guess I'm mean, cuz if my dh said that after I tried to explain/share something with him, he would know then and there I would be bc'ing very soon.

 

[Jetblackhair]

Thanks for all of the support, ideas, and stories ladies. I guess what's so hard for me to understand is that we started dating when my hair was a TWA. He went through that phase with me (getting gel twists b/c it was too short for me to twists, then some braids, then being able to twist it myself). Hell, he would even help me part it in the back when I was twisting it. So now that I need to go back to it (and stay away from self-chemical applications) he seems to be against it.

I do have a wig. He even picked it out! I was only going to wear the wig off and on until it was long enough to get some braids. As for gradually trimming it, I just feel so weird about having damaged hair on my head.

I think deep down he'll get over it and in the end will understand why it had to be done. It's just wondering how it's going to be until he does get over it that gets me.

You know how things are during the dating period. Everyone's trying to put their best foot forward, so he was trying to be supportive . I guess he has already been there and done that with you and he loves your current look.

I know when I met my dh his hair was long. Now he wears it in a short ponytail but if he told me he wanted it long again, I would be like erplexed.

But, I totally understand you wanting to get rid of the damaged hair.

Getting braids right now may be a good idea. Your hair can grow out some and then when you cut it, it may not be so drastic.

I hope everything works out for you ((((((((hugs))))))))).