Are you ever accused of "not combing" your hair?

SND411

A True Soldier Never Dies
Okay, I knew coming home for the holidays was going to mean one thing: my aunt ragging on my hair. My aunt loves it when my hair is in twists but HATES IT WITH A PASSION when it's out and about. I mean, I admit my hair is at an awkward stage where it's growing out of a TWA/getting much longer, so at times my afro is not perfectly "round." She kept on berating me about coming to Thanksgiving dinner looking like that. Her husband (my uncle) told me I got the "pure Negro look" and everybody proceeded to laugh:rolleyes:

At Thanksgiving dinner, two of my other aunts touched my hair and said they loved it and said it was "good" because it was so thick. But my aunt who was dogging my hair told me they were lying.:rolleyes: (they are not the type of women to lie if they don't like something).

Anyway, I told her that perhaps she doesn't like my natural hair. But she told me that natural hair is only good if it's combed and that my hair wasn't combed. But I combed it before! It wasn't matted or tangly. Do you ever get excused of having "uncombed" hair when you JUST combed it? Is there any way to better comb natural hair?
 

maghreblover

New Member
yup!!!! this happened to me last summer, and i'm not even natural, i'm texlaxed on a year long stretch. i was even wearing my hair in a neat bun. i wanted to slap the bald headed woman that told me to comb my hair.
 

ladytee2

New Member
I do not welcome or accept other peoples negative opinions of me or my hair. And would not have a problem voicing that.
 

melissa-bee

Well-Known Member
Yeah. In secondary school i used to wear canerows at the front and a bush at the back. And my friend at the time was doing something in my hair and he told her to comb out the ends. How is lightly blowdryed combed out 4a/b hair supposed to look?
 

Ozma

New Member
Girl, just K.I.M. (keep it moving) and do your thing. I got that bs the entire first year of my hhj. Now those same relatives are here for Thanksgiving and it's, "Oooh girl, your hair is getting longer!" and "Look at how beautiful your hair is!". When your hair is healthy AND long, they will want to be all up in your cabinet, using your ish.:lachen:
 

anon123

Well-Known Member
All the time. Or I used to. I remember detangling what I thought to a good extent and getting my hair pressed some million years ago and the stylist complaining that I could wear my hair natural, but I had to at least comb it.

I comb my hair even less now!

I think it's not so much a matter of combing. I don't know how to explain, but people who say that definitely prefer a certain look. Either a defined curly look or a look where the hair has been pulled tight or blow dried to align all the strands with each other.
 
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Mizz Diamonds

Well-Known Member
I have in secondary school (high school) Me and my friends were wearing our hair all big and blown out (I was relaxed at the time but it was blowsry so it 'looked' like i was natural) anyway this Indian teacher laughed at us

teacher: When are you girls going to comb your hair?
me: when you decide to brush your teeth miss.

Thankfully i avoided getting detention by talking to all of the black teachers in the school.
 
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tailormade84

New Member
girl, yes! I have been there with my mommy. And after I finished venting on the phone with my friend about it, I can to realize she was right. When i "wash-n-go" I have not "combed" my hair. and technically, when someone says "comb you hair" to a black female they mean "style you hair" so technically a fro isn't enough of a style for people to consider it one.

I know for a fact I wouldn't just wash my hair and go when I had a perm. I'd curl it or something - spend some kind of time putting it up in some kind of way and I guess to see the switch from spending time styling to spending almost no time at all kind of makes them think i am slacking.

So I just make sure to try to have some twists or braids ready when I am around family because honestly they have always been a lil high maintence lol.
 

Ms Lala

Well-Known Member
Yup, particularly from older black folks and especially when my hair was shorter. Now that my hair is around BSL they all want to know how I "grew it so long" and in my head I"m thinking because I don't do all those crazy styles yall suggest! But people are watchin and they may change their tune. I have had a couple of people go natural even after they said stuff to me about my natural hair and I was quite surprised. They came to me later and told me I was one of the reasons they did it. Sometimes they wish they had the nerve NOT to comb their hair and just be all napptural!
 

prisytomboy

Active Member
I feel you 100%.

I know we are NOT supposed to worry about what others say or think but honestly it does matter to me.

I am relaxed but I try to stretch and try to wear protective styles. My mom would be the first to say, "you need to do something with you hair!" "oooh, your edges look a mess!" but like one of the ladies said my mom is always asking me what I'm using on my hair cuz it has grown so long. GET BACK WOMAN!!!! :lachen:
 

changingSeasons

Well-Known Member
I am also relaxed and got this the other day when I did a Bantu Knot out, I will say it was Definetely cute! but my uncle and cousin asked me why didnt I come my hair.... I just let it roll off my shoulders...
 

Nonie

Well-Known Member
:giggle: The one time it was implied that I hadn't combed my hair was the one time I hadn't and was walking around looking crazy trusting a stylist that told me that my do was worth $80 and would get better with time. :rolleyes: Hubby-mine was disgusted by the whole do (which I hadn't really looked at properly yet) and even more so coz I'd cut my hair and hardly said a word to me. My neighbor, a 70-year old white guy, loves short hair on black women and while I was sad about the unasked-for BC, I needed a boost and went over to visit them (his wife 65 is a good friend of mine). Dude had a big grin as he saw me walking up to their home while he was by his car. Then when I got close, he had this look of concern and then spread his fingers out to resemble a pick and motioned the act of combing and said, "It could use a little...." :lachen:

When I saw his wife, she smiled to be polite but had a look of confusion coz she's seen me do my hair normally and always loved it, but this was different LOL. I got the feeling she was afraid to say what she really thought coz maybe it's a black thang and she just wasn't getting it. To break the silence I said I was told it'd "drop and get fluffy in a couple of days." I could've sworn I heard a sigh of relief as she said, "Oh OK." :rofl:

I have to admit, when I took a good look at my hair with a second mirror, I couldn't agree more with them. :barf:



When I did my WNG puff the previous year, my hubby wasn't too keen on the do. I too have to admit I didn't care too much for it when I saw pics of it. I'm not a fan of chunky afros and for the WNG, I didn't rake a comb through my hair as I normally do, hence the chunky results (Close up, you'd see coils. From far, it just looks chunky...which to some can look uncombed):



Growing up in Kenya, twist-outs, braid-outs, chunky afros would not have been allowed in any of the schools I went to, so I guess I got accustomed to seeing only Bernie Mac's kind of afro (or anything approaching that) as being combed. Indeed an afro does get messy as the day goes by, as any hairdo can. Heck, Bernie's afro wasn't always a perfect microphone, but it is still clearly a combed afro that might need a bit of patting but not necessarily:

But I personally don't feel "cute" if wearing my hair out and haven't combed it, and since my hair is fairly the same length all around and shrinks, a combed out round afro (or close enough to one) is a very easy style to create with a pick and a little patting. It's not so easy to create if your comb has short teeth. :nono:

I did once create a do that I felt so uncomfortable with and was shocked no one else found it ugly. I had done a twist-out on hair w/o product (<---my usual way) but a friend told me to use a concoction of S Curl Gel, Cocoa Butter stick (melted) and Beeswax for my next twist out. :look: The result was this:



I knew for sure my hubby would beg me to wear a hat before we left home, but he said he didn't mind it at all. :huh: My friends actually loved it. :huh: Go figure! I personally didn't like it so needless to say, I never repeated the do.

I love 4B hair, but I don't always like the way it's styled. It's got nothing to do with hating on texture. I just have a preference for classic hairdos. (I once posted old pics of 4B hair and how it was worn back in the day. I'm a little old fashioned and stuck in those times. :look: ) In fact the day I created my Lisa Simpson hairstyle, it was totally by accident. I wanted a nice round dome shape but the hair kept separating into chunks that would've been tails of the cornrows if I had braided to the ends. I gave up fighting my hair to make it do what I wanted and just patted it into place, and voila! I had discovered a do that grew on me by the end of that day and became one of my favorites:



What's so funny is, I am so sure of my great taste in hair styles (whether delusional or not) that I don't think anyone can tell me anything about my hair that can affect how *I* personally feel about it. I've told you all of that curled twist hairdo that my hubby hates with a passion that happens to be one of my favorites. In fact, just for my own amusement (and anyone that hasn't seen it), I'll post it again. (Hubby says it looks like I have tarantulas on my head :lol: ; I personally think the do is fiyah! :grin: )


 

Mz.MoMo5235

Well-Known Member
i just got accused of this on turkey day. i was told that i "must be going for that wild uncombed shakira look" and everyone sang her songs, all damn nite.... lol i told them they was jealous
 

BrooklynSouth

New Member
No, not yet. I have had the .."So, what are you going to do to your hair now that it's natural?":look: I thought my twists were "DONE"!!!:ohwell:
 

spelmanlocks

Well-Known Member
Everytime I go to my stylist she ask why I don't comb my hair. However I do comb my hair every day. Stretching my relaxer just leads to tangle and knot city for me no matter what.
 

Eritreladiee

New Member
Yeah, my mom always accuses me of not combing my hair. But usually when she accuses me, she's right and I don't mind admitting it. I'll fluff my curls, but I'm not gonna comb them out! Which is what I say, but I know she just means my hair looks a mess.

What's funny is that she hates my hair out, it's too "wild", but her (white) husband loves my hair. And every time my mom comes outta the shower, he tells her not to blow dry her hair straight- to just leave it. And of course she doesn't listen...
 

Daughter

UK Blak
I've only had this once, when I wore a puff a few years back and an aunt said "You couldn't comb your hair?" Looking back then though, this was before my HHJ and was blow dried after every shampoo and had chronic dryness so she wasn't entirely wrong with her comment. :lol:
 
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larry3344

Well-Known Member
yup but when they say that they expect a picked out afro but now I want to retain length so I'm more into the chunky/defined yet fluffed coils look..well what can you do?
 

SweetSpirit86

New Member
Yeah. In secondary school i used to wear canerows at the front and a bush at the back. And my friend at the time was doing something in my hair and he told her to comb out the ends. How is lightly blowdryed combed out 4a/b hair supposed to look?

"Skraight" apparently.:giggle:

OP, don't even waste your breath on her. I have people in my family like that..and they don't just fuss about hair, it's just whatever. The way I deal with those people is let their comments go in one ear and out the other. Smile and nod, smile and nod.:yep:
 

PPGbubbles

Well-Known Member
Yea I was accused of this...but the sad thing is they were right! I hadnt detangled brushed or nothing for a week (in my defense it was finals week!)

but when some1 pointed it out all I could do was laugh with them because I knew it was true. I really hadnt combed my hair lol...

but when others make comments bout my edges and what not I dont pay them no mind... thats just how I roll.
 

MsGoody531

Well-Known Member
:funny:


:lachen::lachen:
I have in secondary school (high school) Me and my friends were wearing our hair all big and blown out (I was relaxed at the time but it was blowsry so it 'looked' like i was natural) anyway this Indian teacher laughed at us

teacher: When are you girls going to comb your hair?
me: when you decide to brush your teeth miss.

Thankfully i avoided getting detention by talking to all of the black teachers in the school.
 
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