Abstinence Challenge 365, 24-7

[PGirl]

Wow I am shocked to see a challenge like this. I am currently 2.5 years and counting...I probably don't need a challenge anymore however; now it's easy....I refuse to let any man take advantage of me. I'm happy with that decision. It's not even tough for me anymore.

Often my girlfriends tell me that I should just "get some". Bad advise doesn't even phase me. I just laugh and tell them NO WAY...I can wait

 

[Lanea87]

^^^See you got in down packed. But you can come and motivate some of us that have only been in the game for a few months.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Ladies, my challenge is going great. I recently went through a month long workshop that has backed up me being abstinent. It was about women being the gatekeepers to their own health and that of their family. We learned about all sorts of STD's and prevention of them. We learned the truth about some aweful myths. And near the end we got introduced to a person living with full blown AIDS. It was one of our facilitators.

While she got HIV from her husband who was a hemopheliac and had received tainted blood, she still has a hard time doing things as she would if she were not a victim of this disease. We learned some statistics and it is shocking that black women are the ones getting this disease---from people who 'look' safe.

Well, I for one have been blessed by God to have had unprotected sex in my lifetime and to have walked out of it with a clean bill of health. I am going to keep it that way. Until I am married, and even then, I still want my future spouse to get a full health screening, I wont have sex

 

[simplynea]

I had a couple of very close people to me that passed in the early '90s from AIDS. I was a young girl in elementary school, and that shocked my world. Throughout my dating experiences, I keep that in the back of my mind. That is why people sometimes call me old-fashioned, but I don't care. I just value my life more than a M.O.P.(Moment of Passion). When I decided in February to be celibate, I made one of the best decisions in my lifetime.

 

[Ramya]

I have very ahem *vivid* dreams from time to time. Well I turned AWAY 2 fine men in my dreams. We would be cuddling or something and they would "try me" and I would tell them to leave. ! a sista can't get any in her dreams either

 

[NGraceO]

I have very ahem *vivid* dreams from time to time. Well I turned AWAY 2 fine men in my dreams. We would be cuddling or something and they would "try me" and I would tell them to leave. ! a sista can't get any in her dreams either

LOL!!!!! Who YOU telling....I been having weird dream like that too....ha!

 

[1CocoaTexan]

Hey Ladies, I'm new to the site as a signed member. Each time in the past, I've enjoyed coming to LHCF for hair of course, lol, but also to be spiritually fed. Thank you Ms. Sugaplum for being the vessel that God is using to minister to us. My dad told me once, that experience is the best teacher. I'd like to put my spin on it & say that Experience is one of God's teachers. Though, we live in a fallen world, we don't live like the world. There are times when the enemy will convince us that his way is better, but we must be mindful of what Jesus said in Luke 4:3 "And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.". Too many people are accepting their life's definition by society & the thoughts of others, however, as my pastor shared with us once, "Measure yourself by Christ." Sisters, celibacy in its most simplest form, to me means, clarity between God & his daughter. Be blessed & remember, God never makes mistakes!

 

[Mis007]

Would love to join this challenge...​

 

[girlcherokee]

wow! just wandered over here and i am so pleasantly surprised to see you ladies moving in the right direction in life!!! i offer you my prayers, blessing and encouragement!!! I am proud of you!

 

[Aggie]

I'm in this challenge too ladies. I have been okay but it's good, no great to have support and to give it. Waiting God's way for a lifelong mate (husband) is well worth every effort.

 

[Lanea87]

I am still going strong here, how are you ladies doing?

 

[Charieamor]

I'm new to this challenge and totally in! (and yes im a newbie to lhcf)
Sadly I'm not a virgin, but I will still claim victory in the lords name because he has all power! no matter the circumstance!

 

[Ms.Nigeria]

I am dyinggggggggggggggg. i so want to get laiderplexed.

 

[Duchesse]

I am dyinggggggggggggggg. i so want to get laiderplexed.

I'm sorry but your bluntness just killed me

For me the urge comes and goes, for the most part I only get the fever when Aunt Flo comes into town. Its also easy because I am not dating anyone. That's my main problem, when I'm single, I can repress my feelings, and I can be single for years with no worries, I don't even masturbate (TMI?)

But let me date someone, and I realize that I am severely lacking in the self control dept....severely .

Since I made the commitment to myself and God that the next man who I sleep with is going to be my husband, I'm making sure to not even entertain a man who is not seriously searching for a committed partnership.

I haven't reached the point yet where I am fully convinced that I will not fall into temptation...oooohhhsaaaa.... so for now, I'm not trying to date until I become stronger spiritually.

 

[Ramya]

I am dyinggggggggggggggg. i so want to get laiderplexed.

girl you and me both. I'm good though. I haven't been in a compromising situation yet so yay for me lol. I'm such a sexual person that I don't know how to turn it off. I'm dying LOL 2.3 years strong

 

[bubasdhter]

Hey to everyone! I am new to LHCF. I am signing on. I really need to re-commit myself. I am doing well thus far, but encouragement is ALWAYS helpful.

 

[Iammoney]

ha ha i got you guys beat im 10 years 7 months and 1 day im somewhat proud of it but im ready to get married and liberate myself. Lord Jesus that husband you have for me better be ready to take two weeks off from work he's gonna need it

 

[bubasdhter]

I am still hanging in there! How is everyone else doing?

 

[Jenaee]

I fell :-( But i'm back on track!!!!

 

[a_ caribbean_dream]

Omygoodness it is time for me to join this challenge!!!

I haven't had sexual intercourse before but I am on that dangerous slippery slope and I need to be held accountable in some way before I do anything else further! Denial is such a bad thing and for awhile I have seem to have these thoughts that I am invincible and I can fight my flesh. I am going to try my best from this day forth to live purely in body and spirit.

AMEN.

 

[LadyAmani]

i would love to join this challenge, i asked that you ladies please pray for me because im trying to be a better person and get my life together. I dont need sex or impure thoughts keeping me from the kingdom of heaven.

 

[Lanea87]

I am stilling going good, I have met a guy thats so sweet (well actually I have been knowing him going on a year) and I have already told him my plan and so far he is cool with it. Lets see how this will go....

 

[chicacanella]

I'm sorry but your bluntness just killed me

For me the urge comes and goes, for the most part I only get the fever when Aunt Flo comes into town. Its also easy because I am not dating anyone. That's my main problem, when I'm single, I can repress my feelings, and I can be single for years with no worries, I don't even masturbate (TMI?)

But let me date someone, and I realize that I am severely lacking in the self control dept....severely .

Since I made the commitment to myself and God that the next man who I sleep with is going to be my husband, I'm making sure to not even entertain a man who is not seriously searching for a committed partnership.

I haven't reached the point yet where I am fully convinced that I will not fall into temptation...oooohhhsaaaa.... so for now, I'm not trying to date until I become stronger spiritually.

Oh good, I'm glad I'm not the only one that gets that way but mine is during ovulation.

I don't think that I am lacking in self control as far as dating but it is more of having a man that can be strong enough to not try and tempt me pass kissing. That's why I am not letting any man come into my life for "fun" or who isn't on the same page as me about celibacy. I don't want someone to tolerate or put up with me. I want them to be striving for the same thing.

As I was laying in bed last night, I was crying thinking about all the men who have come into my life just for one thing. How I was foolish and always picked the wrong ones and really couldn't blame anyone but myself. I mean, "Is that all I'm worth to you-what's between my legs?" I just want a man to love me for me, to try and get to know me and respect my wishes. A man that strives for the same things I do.

 

[Duchesse]

, I was crying thinking about all the men who have come into my life just for one thing. How I was foolish and always picked the wrong ones and really couldn't blame anyone but myself. I mean, "Is that all I'm worth to you-what's between my legs?" I just want a man to love me for me, to try and get to know me and respect my wishes. A man that strives for the same things I do.

I really feel you. I've been feeling a bit depressed recently because I keep thinking about this one particular guy, the last man I dated. As I replay our time together in my head, I feel like I was so stupid and weak in our dealings, and didn't respect myself-physically and spiritually. I made my body way too accessible to him too soon. I've never felt used before like this, and it sucks. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time getting over him.

Even though I know it takes two to tango, I feel like I should have been stronger and more responsible, and keep blaming myself. But at the same time I'm happy that we are no longer dating. This heartache in a way was like a final straw for me, and made me stop running from God and start running towards him.

The ironic thing is before I met him I was striving for a better relationship with God, and when we started dating, guess who I thought less and less about? I know now that I cannot substitute a fleshly/temporary relationship for one with God, it ain't gonna happen!

Good luck to all you wonderful ladies!! Because we are striving to be righteous when it is so easy to do otherwise, I truly believe God will bless us.

 

[phynestone]

I fell off and I'm so embarassed. It won't happen again since I'm swearing off men. For good.

 

[cupcakes]

I am rejoining this challenge. I slipped up but now my life is back on track. I am blessed to have a wonderful christian boyfriend who has the same goals. Hopefully we will be able to abstain

 

[melodies815]

Ohhhh...this is such a beautiful thread. I know I am not a part of this challenge...but I just wanted to encourage all of us who are trying to live for the Lord.

Only 2 things:

(1) Be wary of trying to abstain only because it is good to do. We are saved unto good works...so when we abstain from sexual impurity, it is for the love of the Lord alone. Anything else will ultimately lead to falling. I ALWAYS fell when I did this. I ALWAYS remained pure when my only motivation was to live a life that would make the Lord smile.

(2) Do everything for God and God alone.


I lost my virginity to rape and molestation, and then on top of that made some really dumb decisions. That's part of my personal testimony and doesn't shame me in the least today. I had no control over that. I was such a hurt young lady...and with every man who came into my life, I felt worse and worse...until I really, really met the Father...understood how deep His love is for me. He did not with-hold a husband from me until I was perfect; He DID with-hold the husband until I knew how much He loved me. There is no single action that can make us presentable to the Father. The only thing that cleanses is the Word of God....JESUS CHRIST. When we trust Him...in our fallings and gettings-up, the process of living holy becomes so much easier....less laden with the need to "be" something we can never be. We can be holy, but it's not because of us; it is only because of the redemptive work of Christ. That's the only thing in life to understand; all else follows this one, central fact.

So...Please don't feel depressed when you fall - AND DON'T MAKE IT A LIFESTYLE EITHER!!! Just tell yourself, your flesh, and the enemy that you are human and you still love the Lord and that tomorrow is a new day. You will learn to submit all over again the instant the falling is over. The INSTANT! As we are learning, we make mistakes, and eventually we master one or two areas only to find the new areas.

I mastered abstinence only to struggle in a major way with pride and fear and rejection...it goes on and on and on...

And God is faithful over it all. Thank You, Lord!

Please be encouraged in 2009 and for the rest of your lives. I am on the other side of abstinence now but my journey is EXACTLY the same as yours. Matter of fact...I am joining this challenge...

...but I will be abstaining from my mouth and the need to make excuses to DH.


The Lord's precious and immeasurable love to us all...
Your sister,
Christi J.

 

[life_is_great]

I really feel you. I've been feeling a bit depressed recently because I keep thinking about this one particular guy, the last man I dated. As I replay our time together in my head, I feel like I was so stupid and weak in our dealings, and didn't respect myself-physically and spiritually. I made my body way too accessible to him too soon. I've never felt used before like this, and it sucks. I don't know why I'm having such a hard time getting over him.

Even though I know it takes two to tango, I feel like I should have been stronger and more responsible, and keep blaming myself. But at the same time I'm happy that we are no longer dating. This heartache in a way was like a final straw for me, and made me stop running from God and start running towards him.

The ironic thing is before I met him I was striving for a better relationship with God, and when we started dating, guess who I thought less and less about? I know now that I cannot substitute a fleshly/temporary relationship for one with God, it ain't gonna happen!

Good luck to all you wonderful ladies!! Because we are striving to be righteous when it is so easy to do otherwise, I truly believe God will bless us.

Don't beat yourself up. I've been there too, very recently. Yes I fell off the wagon, but I am back on now. We learn from our mistakes so don't allow yourself to fall into condemnation. God has forgiven you, now you must forgive yourself.

 

[Lanea87]

I fell off....

 

[Highly Favored8]

I am still doing so far so good. It feels good for me to wait until marriage. For me it feels extra special and to share with a man who feels the same way =)