The REAL reason our hair is "so difficult"?!...

[NigerianGirl]

Artemis I just wanted to say thanks for what you said...I could not agree more.....

 

[Paradox]

well my hair sure is difficult, it takes an hour everyday since I cannot use heat for healthy hair! geez.
I have to deep condition/moisturize just for it feel normal while other people don't have to make these precautions.
I do understand what you are saying though.

 

[BostonMaria]

OP I completely agree

I don't read any thread that looks negative. I always think positive when it comes to my life, my hair is no different. I have been natural for one year and I know its not easy and I have sooo much to learn. Its like anything else in my life - If I don't work hard for it I can't have it. Having natural hair was my goal and my next goal is to be fit and lean. I know that if I don't keep a positive mind and keep my eye on the prize it can't happen.

 

[MonPetite]

I think there's no single reason why "we" will find our hair difficult because "we" don't all have the same hair nor the same approach to it. If it's anything the boards have taught me, it's that. There are a million things out there to try while trying to figure out our hair; I know, having tried about 900,000 of them. And none of these things, from the low manipulation low product end of the spectrum to the high manipulation high product end, has produced "easy" hair for me. So even if there is some way that my hair would not be difficult, finding out what that way is is difficult.

Hmm, let me revise that. I know that a twa or locs would be easy for me. Anything else is fighting what my hair naturally wants to do, so it should be no surprise to me that doing anything else produces hair that is difficult, whether that difficulty be expressed in hours-long detangling sessions or hours-long protective styling sessions.

Fabulous point. ITA. Very insightful! I loved your analogy too!

I have found what makes hair "easy" for me relaxed, natural, and texlaxed. Now I'm searching for what makes me happy style wise.

My natural hair was "easy" to me even after relaxing my whole life because I found what it wanted to do and let it do it.

Same with my wavy/curly texlaxed hair that wanted to be big and frizzy.

Bone straight my hair likes light products, moisture and NO HEAT, NO COLOR, not even clear rinses.

When I try to go beyond what my hair wants in ANY state...it becomes "difficult".

I think it points to a cultural AND personal mindset.

Maybe my natural hair won't stretch with some scrunchies put on it like Sally-sue. Oh, well. So my texlaxed hair will never be frizz free or uniform like Daisy-mae. Ah, well. So my bone straight hair will never look like that of a Japanese Empress. Such is life.

When we choose to like our hair, for what it wants to be IN WHATEVER STATE WE PREFER IT IN RELAXED, NATURAL, OR TEXLAXED it is no longer "Ddifficult" and becomes a source of pleasure. As it should be.

 

[Inches411]

maybe you guys wont agree with me but i do find my hair difficult and im not ashamed to say so but what i do know is that I do whatever it takes to my hair to get the way I want as long as i practice healthy hair techniques and even when you do that its get annoying. sometimes it takes long and you dont even feel like doing it but you do it anyway cause you want healhty hair. Im not gonna sit around and complain if this is what i want. You have to do what you have to do. Lastly i noticed that some ppl made comments about our hair is difficult because we dont work with our natural texture... and i dont agree.. its not about natural vs unnatural .. I think there are many naturals who would still say there hair is difficult to do at times. So to me its all about sucking it up and realizing no our hair is not like other hair textures and maybe sure we have to spend a little bit more time on it but who cares... think about it there are some ppl who have to bust their butt and study for hours on end just to get a A and theres another person who doesnt study much at all and gets the same grade. Is the first person gonna sit around and just complain about how so and so doesnt have to study and gets A and i have to... no thats stupid.. In the end you get the same results right.. so just do what you have to do... if u get frustrated go ahead its normal but once your done keep on working on it. some things dont come easy right awya but with practice it will..

 

[LaidBak]

Good discussion!

 

[Muse]

Hey Laidback, thanks for bumping these old threads! Like another poster said in another old thread you bumped, it's nice to see these older posts bumped with discussions and advice pertaining to how I can get MY hair correct; not Beyonce's. Not that the Beyonce, Rhianna hair threads don't have a place here but we don't see enough of these posts anymore, IMHO. Thanks!

My hair's not difficult anymore because I stopped forcing it into ungodly situations!

PS. I miss Artemis, such a smart lady.