Natural Story: Things I Wish I Knew about Being Natural

sunshinelady

New Member
Hi ladies,

I have been natural for about 7 years after not being able to afford a relaxer ($80) while in Wash, DC doing an unpaid summer internship. I was thinking about everything I wish I knew about natural hair and thought I would list it here.

1. Products that worked on your relaxed hair may not work on your natural hair. Experiment until you get it right.

2. That first little new growth that you get when you need a retouch is not what it will look like after the big chop. Sometimes it will look better, sometimes worse. Some people call it "scab" hair. I thought my newgrowth was so shiny and curly...when I did my BC I was like "What in the world".

3. Don't relax your child's hair until after they are 13. I got my first relaxer at 7 or so and my hair did not return to its previous texture after going natural. I learned that a child's hair follicles are not fully formed until around 13 and perming earlier could permanently damage follicles.

4. Just because you are natural does not mean that you can stop getting your hair trimmed. Get it trimmed at least every 2 months if you want to keep your ends healthy.

5. When you get the urge to get a relaxer go get a wig or get braids. It will help you get over the hump. Just have one on hand for events that you want something different. I really wish someone told me that when I hit that "not cute" 1.5 year mark. It was a rough period and I should have just gotten braids.

6. Condition your hair as often as necessary. I had to co-wash my hair everyday and people thought I was crazy. I had to in order to get my hair in a puff. If you don't wash, at least spritz it everyday.

7. Not everyone's hair is meant to look like a video chick's. For the longest, I desperately wanted my 4b hair to curl into ringlets and shine. I wasted a lot of time and money. Highly textured hair does not shine without a lot products, but that does not mean it is unhealthy. Your hair is beautiful and work with what you have.
smiley32.gif


8. Ignore your family and friends if they don't like your hair as long as you are well-kempt. Offer to allow them to pay for your weave or wig if they hate it so much. Their dislike of your hair has more to do with them than it does with you.
smiley7.gif


9. Nearly every natural will get the itch to relax their hair when it gets to be about ear length, do whatever it takes to fight this urge if you want to stay natural (see #5). I did this and found that my head looked HUGE. I cried and got braids down to my waist. Edit: My suggestion for this is to get braids before you get a relaxer. It will give you some time to think.
smiley36.gif


10. If, after trying to stay natural, you decide that manageability or any other reason makes you want to go back to a relaxer, then Do It! One thing I have learned after being natural is that natural hair is a lot of work. You don't owe anything to anybody and it is YOUR hair. Don't be a prisoner. These days, a relaxer has little to do with wanting to be white and everything to do with wanting to easily comb your hair. And sometimes, you don't want politics to play out in your hair. Just make sure you keep your hair healthy.



Hope this helps someone go natural, stay natural, or get a relaxer without guilt!
smiley10.gif


P.S. Learn to cornrow, it is really important.
P.P.S. Some people's hair texture changes as it gets longer. Mine has changed a couple of times.

P.P.P.S A really positive thing about being natural is that you lose your dread of hair cuts (at least for me). I doesn't bother me too much when I go to get a trim and it turns out to be a cut. It all looks the same when your hair is shrunken.

P.P.P.P.S. Knots seem to be a way of life, trimming will help, but don't beat yourself or your hair up about them.
 
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I love this post :love: especially the part about other people's reaction having everything to do with them and not with you. This is applicable in many life situations:)
 
Thanks y'all. I really hope that this helps people. I hope other people will add their tips too.


Forgot to mention a big one: Don't go natural for a man! Lawd, that was a part of why I did. I was dating this bohemian guy who hated relaxers and makeup. It was so funny because he turned out to be all about fakery and pretense. Now, I dare a man to say a da** thing about my hair. :whip:
 
sunshinelady said:
Thanks y'all. I really hope that this helps people. I hope other people will add their tips too.


Forgot to mention a big one: Don't go natural for a man! Lawd, that was a part of why I did. I was dating this bohemian guy who hated relaxers and makeup. It was so funny because he turned out to be all about fakery and pretense. Now, I dare a man to say a da** thing about my hair. :whip:

That is funny:lol:
 
Thank you for posting this info. I actually just learned about scab hair yesterday from a fotki friend.

I am presently on course to transition and grow out this relaxer. I say on course because I'm 10 weeks post and until a week ago I couldn't decide if I wanted to do this or not.

I know how to cornrow well and that is helping to push me along. Also looking at fotki pictures of people showing that dual texture during transition.
I really wanna see what my hair turns into. I look at some people's natural texture and wonder why they ever were compelled to relax their hair in the first place. But who am I to talk? once I grow this out I'll probably be asking myself the same thing.
 
Great post.

I wish I had known that natural hair products did not have to cost an arm and a leg. I started off with the more expensive stuff and spent wayyy too much money.
 
Great great post chica!
I love the part about the relax and natural part, its your hair do what you want without guilt just take care of your hair

And the part about natural hair changing textures! When I first went natural I swear I had 4zzzzz hair and now its 4a with 3s and some 4bs and its constantly changing, that is something I never knew would happen!
 
I love the part about not having politics play out in your hair. People assume that you went natural for these very idealistic reasons when the reality is I went natural b/c I like you couldn't afford a good relaxer. I'm staying natural b/c I actually like my hair more this way. Not to reconnect with anything, or yada yada, and if i want to perm it again one day I'm going to do so w/out any bones about it. It's my hair!

My advice get a good moisturzer and a good conditioner. Just having two products that work for me has completely changed my hair, and our relationship.

And there's nothing wrong with rocking your natural texture. For more than a year I never tried wash and go's b/c I thought my hair would shrink up so bad, and I have abig head, and short hair I though would make it be even bigger. Then just a couple weeks ago I started experimenting on the weekends. What a surprise! My natural texture is just lovely even with the shrinkage.
 
Great advice!
I'm still coming to terms with the "don't let politics play out in your hair" part of being natural but I think that is just one of the many reasons I want to stay natural.
 
JT: Tell us about your struggle. I'd love to hear. I have quite a few friends who would be totally disappointed if I got a perm, but I check them when they tread too far.
 
That's great advice, especially the part about ignoring family and friends. It's important to do what makes you happy, and just pay attention to the positive comments about your hair.
 
Damn You! You are making me want to go natural again. I think next time... I'm just going to do like Crissi and shave my head bald. Won't that do away with the scab hair issue?
 
Thank you for this advice! I can't cornrow to save my life, but I am going to learn!:D I am trying to wean myself from chemical dependency.
 
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No, actually it wouldn't do away with the scab hair unless you already had about 1 inch of newgrowth. You would have to probably continue to cut it up for the first inch, I think.
 
bravenewgirl87 said:
Damn You! You are making me want to go natural again. I think next time... I'm just going to do like Crissi and shave my head bald. Won't that do away with the scab hair issue?

No... the hair coming out of the follicles could be altered because of the residue in your scalp. But you may not even have scab hair. Everybody doesn't. I got rid of most of mines when I was stretching my relaxer. By the time I bced I didn't really have any.
 
bmoreflyygirl said:
No... the hair coming out of the follicles could be altered because of the residue in your scalp. But you may not even have scab hair. Everybody doesn't. I got rid of most of mines when I was stretching my relaxer. By the time I bced I didn't really have any.
what is scab hair???
 
scab hair is the first hair that grows when you are going natural. It is many times totally different than the way your true natural texture.
 
I had no idea about the scab hair. Hmmm... I wonder what my texture will be like when I get to classic length? (Not IF, but WHEN, dangit!!!!)

I wish I had known that my hair would dry out like a desert and then break off. I know now that if my hair is super dry, I MUST condition it immediately or breakage *will* follow. This didn't happen to me when I was relaxed.

I wish I had known that my breakage might be at the middle of the hair, not the tips.

I wish I had known that no matter what I'd have little knots in my hair that cannot be gotten rid of.
 
Great thread :clap:
Its a tough journey. I wore braids/weaves for 2 1/2 yrs straight. And thats how I got through :)
 
:clap: I am subscribing to this thread. If I had read this last year, I would be fully natural by now (broke down and relaxed). This is very encouraging and a good reminder that transitioning isn't a "do or die" situation. There are ways to adjust. :clap:

sunshinelady said:
Hi ladies,

I have been natural for about 7 years after not being able to afford a relaxer ($80) while in Wash, DC doing an unpaid summer internship. I was thinking about everything I wish I knew about natural hair and thought I would list it here.

1. Products that worked on your relaxed hair may not work on your natural hair. Experiment until you get it right.

2. That first little new growth that you get when you need a retouch is not what it will look like after the big chop. Sometimes it will look better, sometimes worse. Some people call it "scab" hair. I thought my newgrowth was so shiny and curly...when I did my BC I was like "What in the world".

3. Don't relax your child's hair until after they are 13. I got my first relaxer at 7 or so and my hair did not return to its previous texture after going natural. I learned that a child's hair follicles are not fully formed until around 13 and perming earlier could permanently damage follicles.

4. Just because you are natural does not mean that you can stop getting your hair trimmed. Get it trimmed at least every 2 months if you want to keep your ends healthy.

5. When you get the urge to get a relaxer go get a wig or get braids. It will help you get over the hump. Just have one on hand for events that you want something different. I really wish someone told me that when I hit that "not cute" 1.5 year mark. It was a rough period and I should have just gotten braids.

6. Condition your hair as often as necessary. I had to co-wash my hair everyday and people thought I was crazy. I had to in order to get my hair in a puff. If you don't wash, at least spritz it everyday.

7. Not everyone's hair is meant to look like a video chick's. For the longest, I desperately wanted my 4b hair to curl into ringlets and shine. I wasted a lot of time and money. Highly textured hair does not shine without a lot products, but that does not mean it is unhealthy. Your hair is beautiful and work with what you have.
smiley32.gif


8. Ignore your family and friends if they don't like your hair as long as you are well-kempt. Offer to allow them to pay for your weave or wig if they hate it so much. Their dislike of your hair has more to do with them than it does with you.
smiley7.gif


9. Nearly every natural will get the itch to relax their hair when it gets to be about ear length, do whatever it takes to fight this urge if you want to stay natural (see #5). I did this and found that my head looked HUGE. I cried and got braids down to my waist. Edit: My suggestion for this is to get braids before you get a relaxer. It will give you some time to think.
smiley36.gif


10. If, after trying to stay natural, you decide that manageability or any other reason makes you want to go back to a relaxer, then Do It! One thing I have learned after being natural is that natural hair is a lot of work. You don't owe anything to anybody and it is YOUR hair. Don't be a prisoner. These days, a relaxer has little to do with wanting to be white and everything to do with wanting to easily comb your hair. And sometimes, you don't want politics to play out in your hair. Just make sure you keep your hair healthy.



Hope this helps someone go natural, stay natural, or get a relaxer without guilt!
smiley10.gif


P.S. Learn to cornrow, it is really important.
P.P.S. Some people's hair texture changes as it gets longer. Mine has changed a couple of times.

P.P.P.S A really positive thing about being natural is that you lose your dread of hair cuts (at least for me). I doesn't bother me too much when I go to get a trim and it turns out to be a cut. It all looks the same when your hair is shrunken.

P.P.P.P.S. Knots seem to be a way of life, trimming will help, but don't beat yourself or your hair up about them.
 
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