I know He's working it out for my good,but I'm not doing too good right now UPDATE#38

Hi Sisters,

It is winter in my life right now. I had all these plans of when I wanted to have a baby, how I would coordinate it with the school year so that I could have the baby right in time for the last few weeks of the school year (I'm a teacher) and then sail into the summer, which I would have off. Also, was coordinating it around my own academic schedule so that I could get a spring class in right before baby was due. With that plan in mind, I figured I should try and get pregnant some time around late summer, early fall.

But then out of no where, the desire to be a mother just HIT and I mean hard. I had never been one of *those * type of women. ooooh, aaaahh, I want a baby but I seemingly turned into one almost overnight. I knew that God must have placed this desire in my heart according to His plan. I'd always said that He was probably laughing at the way I had things planned out to the T as far as conceiving and having my first baby. I knew that His plan would always prevail and I was seeing that happen with me suddenly wanting a baby at a time that would make the baby due *right* at the beginning of a new school year which, as a teacher, I never wanted!

In November, my hubby and I gave it a try and to my delight, surprise, and great thanks to God, we got pregnant that first month. I felt so blessed and so special to be chosen to carry out such a miracle. But my hopes and heart were dashed when I lost the baby very early in the pregnancy. I was heartbroken. It's a different kind of hurt than other disappointments like breakups, loss of loved ones, and so on. Okay Lord, I guess now I have paid for the abortion I had in college. I know You have a plan God. Your strength is made perfect in weakness. You'll work this out for my good. You'll get the glory. I was a soulja! Even though it hurt, I could feel His strength and peace on me.

The doc said we could try again as soon as we wanted. Being very familiar with my fertile signs, I noticed that I was in my fertile phase less than 2 weeks after the loss. So we went for it again and about 5 days after ovulation, I knew in my heart (and with the physical symptoms I was feeling) that the Lord has blessed our conception efforts once again. I told myself, okay this must have been the right time rather than the last time. But low and behold, this next pregnancy did not get off the ground either.

I don't know what's wrong. Since the first loss, I had been confessing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made over my body but for some reason my body is getting pregnant but not holding on to them for long at all. This time, the "soulja" has gone out of me. I am sure that one day I will look back and realize what God was doing, but this second time has knocked the wind out of my sails. This time I feel like I don't want to try anymore. This time I feel like I would rather remain childless than to go through this again. Maybe my feeling will change as I start feeling better, but right now

So if you would take a moment to lift me up in prayer, I could really use it.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with a new doc--I feel like my doc was being too passive about this and I want/need help.

Please pray that the new doc will treat this with the level of seriousness that I believe it deserves.

Please pray that we will find out what the issue is or that enough tests/observations will be done to rule out issues so that we will know that this really did just happen by chance.

It's my understanding that one early loss like this is very common, often suffered by a woman who never knew she was pregnant and just thinks she got a bad period that was a little late. But, with two, it may not be so random/by chance.

And if there is an issue, please pray that it is one that has a simple remedy.

And lastly, please pray that the medical bills from the testing or whatever will be manageable for us and that we will not have to go into debt to pay them.

I just want answers. I feel like in order to feel peace, I just need to know something.

[size=+1]SEE POST #38 FOR UPDATE[/size]

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

First Im soo sorry about both babies..second don't believe the devils lies about the abortion in college..do you know all the things we do God doesnt keep tallies and try to do us later down the road..

I will keep praying for you as I do for all LHCFers..I know that you really want this little bun to bake in the oven..Just let the chips fall where they may about school and work..I know you want to coordinator but God is the best planner..

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Supergirl, please don't lose hope. God knows why those babies weren't to be and what He has in store for you. My DH and I also have this Petition before Him.

You are lifted up in prayer as I add my faith to yours -- that God renews your Strength. You are his Child, and I believe God's Children are always blessed with the desires of their hearts. And I believe that disappointments and frustration are what must pave the way for breakthroughs.

Stay encouraged!!



Psalms 127
1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.
Unless the LORD watches over the city,
the watchmen stand guard in vain.

2 In vain you rise early
and stay up late,
toiling for food to eat—
for he grants sleep to [a] those he loves.

3 Sons are a heritage from the LORD,
children a reward from him.

4 Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are sons born in one's youth.

5 Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their enemies in the gate.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

You will be in my prayers.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Hi,
Hold on and don't give up on what you desire from God.
I suffered a miscarriage at 10 weeks the first time and it set me back (with God) for 2 years. I couldn't get pregnant no matter what I did, Charting, taking my temperature, using Clomid, timing sex, etc. I resented God with a passion (seriously). Praise God you are not there.

After I repented and came back to God, I told him we still want a child, but His will be done and low and behold I got pregnant. The enemy still tried to come in at around 10 weeks and take that child (whose now 3) but I called my co-Pastor and asked her to pray and I went to the Dr. and demanded some progesterone. I had been reading that low progesterone levels will cause the body to abort the baby. You can ask your doctor about testing your levels. I'm having baby # 2 and my progestrone levels were low with this one too, so I would seriously ask about checking your levels.

I too had "planned" when I wanted to get pregnant, but it didn't go according to my plan. I can tell you when it happens, God will remove all the pain from your previous miscarriages. There is a couple in my chuch who had 6 miscarriage. One was at the 6 month mark. Now they have 2 boys and 2 twin girls. All without fertility meds! God keeps his promises and he is able to do what He said he will do. Every barren women in the Bible conceived, God will do the same for you.

Another thing,
Don't think God is punishing you for your abortion in college. If you had repented, God has forgiven you. I will be praying for you.

I think I should have a link at the bottom of my signature that gives my testimony. Check it out when you have time.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

I am so sorry for your loss. But please don't be discouraged.

I just had a long talk with a friend of mine who went through a smililar situation. The doctors couldn't find anything wrong, and told her to keep trying. She got pregnant twice and didn't carry the babies full term and she was feeling the same way you are. She stopped for awhile to recover mentally, emotionally, etc. The thrid time she carried the baby full term and her daughter's first birthday is next week.

I wish I could say more to help, but I just want to say you are in my prayers.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Yours is a Wonderful testimony, and thanks for sharing it!

I've heard similar testimonies, in which the stronghold in a woman's mind about past failures or bad feelings were blocking her blessing as well.

ceedeelight said:

God keeps his promises and he is able to do what He said he will do. Every barren women in the Bible conceived, God will do the same for you.

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Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

The testimonies are to helpful to my soul right now. Thank you

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

SG don't be discouraged. The only thing I can add is maybe try throwing the chart away for now, relax, color often and let whatever happens happen. Just realize that this all belongs to God. I know that has GOT to be hard for you because you are such a planner (I admire that so much in you I desperately need that skill)

The fact that you have conceived is a good sign. There could have been a number of reasons why the pregnancy didn't progress i.e. problems with cell division, chromosomal abnormalities etc. Just relax, and enjoy the process. It's the best thing you can do.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

praying for you hun!

everything will turn out fine

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Wendy Williams had a hard time conceiving too and she wrote about it in her book. Could it be a thyroid problem? My cousin had a miscarriage and it was a thyroid problem. She was able to produce two beautiful kids after the fact. Stay in faith.

I love psalm 127 thanks to the poster for posting it.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

So sorry about the miscarriages, it is a hurt that is like no other even when you have other children. I pray that your doctor is able to diagnose any problems that could have caused the miscarriages. If your doc is not taking the steps you believe he should take in this matter choose another doctor, one who specializes in fertility issues. I will pray that all goes well.

You know, God's time is not our time. Also be patient-every woman does not have an easy time conceiving. I have two married friends, one tried to conceive for 5 years, she miscarried numerous times. Much heartache and sorrow during this time. The couple asked for prayer that they would conceive, we began to pray. God blessed them within the next year and half with their first child. They now have six. The other couple tried for about 4 years, requested the church to pray and within the next year they had their baby. They now have two. My SIL and brother were married for 20 years, gave up having children and God blessed them with a daughter. I could tell you many more stories like this. Just trying to help you see that, pregnancy is not always immediate. Remember Hannah, mother of Samuel; Elizabeth, mother of John the Baptist; and Sara the mother Issac.

God really does know best. Sometimes we want things and demand that God does it yesterday. God's plans for our life don't always mesh with our plans. Here's a verse of a favorite song I hope helps you: God's way is best; if human wisdom a fairer way may seem to show, Tis only that our earth-dimmed vision the truth can never clearly know. God's way is best, I will not murmur, although the end I may not see; where e'r he leads I'll meekly follow-God's way is best, is best for me.

Supergirl, I'm praying that you will be blessed with a baby as your heart desires.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

praying...

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Country gal said:

Wendy Williams had a hard time conceiving too and she wrote about it in her book. Could it be a thyroid problem? My cousin had a miscarriage and it was a thyroid problem. She was able to produce two beautiful kids after the fact. Stay in faith.

I love psalm 127 thanks to the poster for posting it.

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I didn't know Wendy had kiddos! I don't know if it's a thyroid problem. Ya never know though. I don't have any reason to think I have a thyroid issue, but of course sometimes these things stay hidden. I have a few speculations about what I think it may be and I'll mention those to the doc first.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Supergirl, everything is going to be ok. I have been where you are and I know that it is not easy. But, I can truly say with all my heart that God’s ways are bigger than our ways, His thoughts are higher than our thoughts and His timing is perfect, indeed. My husband and I tried to get pregnant for 14 months before we were successful. Unfortunately, one month later I had a miscarriage. Like your doctor, my doctor pretty much dismissed my miscarriage and saw nothing wrong with the fact that it took us over a year to get pregnant. I was charting my temps and everything and still it took us 14 months. I was devastated and I stayed in that state of depression for so long that I had forgotten to be thankful for all that God had given me. I felt like my body was broken and even though I didn’t want to admit it to myself, I was mad at God. Ten months after my miscarriage I had hit so many road blocks that I decided to do some soul searching. I went on a week-long fast and asked God to lead and guide me on what to do. During that time God didn’t tell me what to do, but He gave me peace and He opened my eyes to all the things I had to be thankful for. I clearly remember lying on my bed on a Sunday afternoon…the sun was shining and I had just taken a nap. I woke feeling renewed and like I was ready to live again. Later on God did tell me that whatever road my husband and I chose He would be with us. We ended up going through IVF at the end of the year and right before Christmas we became pregnant. Our little ray of sunshine is now three years old.

Back in 2008 we tried to get pregnant again. After trying on our own for six months with no success we went through IVF again. This time we were not successful. I was hurt, but decided that I would not dwell on that failure because God had blessed us with so much. I didn’t want to forget all about my blessings by focusing on that one disappointment. About a month later I realized that the culprit of the cycle not being successful was the bitterness that was in my heart. You see, I had been battling with some of my in-laws for years and over the years so much bitterness and resentment had built up on the inside of me that there was a stop sign in front of all my blessings. Once I let go of the bitterness and resentment the road was clear for my husband and I to get pregnant again. And in His perfect timing we became pregnant and I am now pregnant with twins.

I say all this not to say that you may need fertility meds or to say that you have bitterness or resentment inside of you. I‘m telling you all of this to remind you that what you are going through is not in vain. Seldom do we go through for our benefit alone. We go through for the benefit of others. A year from now your testimony may give a person hope who had lost all hope. I never thought I would be able to say this, but as much as it hurt me then, I can see why God allowed me to get pregnant and why He allowed me to have a miscarriage. I never thought I would get to that point, but I did. Like I said, His ways are perfect.

Don’t give up, keep the faith and hold on to your vision. I pray that your new doctor is proactive and sympathetic. I remember reading the thread you started after your first miscarriage and the first thought that came to mind was low progesterone. Your issue could as simple as needing progesterone supplements during the first trimester. Don’t get discouraged. You can get pregnant and if you can get pregnant then you will carry your baby to term and you will give birth to a happy, healthy, beautiful baby.

Blessings to you.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Supergirl- I am so sorry! (((((((((((Sending you out Hugs))))))))))))))))))

God is able to bless you according to your hearts desire. Your desire now is too have childern- God is ABLE! Stay in his word and keep on claiming your promise to be a mother.

What happend in your past life is between you and the Lord. God has blessed you so much he will continue to. I know of a women who was in the same boat as you and your husband and God did bless her with children. Be easy, gentle and ask, claim, beleive God for Restoration of your health and your life. Pray for your old as well as your new doctor. God will make a way for you. He will!

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

God certainly does move in His own time.

My grandmother just called me a couple of weeks ago and left a message on my voice mail that said: after nearly 23 years of marriage, my aunt and her husband have finally conceived, and the baby is due in two weeks!

My aunt didn't even know she was pregnant...she found out at six months along....its a boy and both mother and baby are doing fine although the docs are keeping a close eye on her......

Just wanted to give you one more example that we never know when/how God is gonna move in our lives....so do not be troubled, I believe in my spirit that God is gonna bless your life with a little bundle of joy!

I have just a said a prayer for you and your husband;stay encouraged and keep the faith!

Blessings,
Minx

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Supergirl -
My prayers are with you ((((HUGS)))).

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

SG,
Be encouraged! God sees you and you are not forgotten!

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Supergirl, I cannot relate to this but I feel very empathetic toward your situation. I pray that you will conceive and carry to full term a beautiful healthy baby.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Supergirl,
I am praying for you too. I know first hand of many couples who have suffered through multiple miscarriages or had trouble conceiving. They all have at least one child now. For some it took years (5 to 7) before they had their kiddos. My cousin and her husband had 3 miscarriages before they were able to welcome their 3 kiddos. She ended up having to have her cervix surgically closed to prevent miscarriage. At any rate you are doing the right thing- encouraging yourself in the Lord. God has not forgotten nor forsaken you. We are all praying for you, your husband, your marriage, your finances, and your future babies. Now, like KBragg said, color often, get to the doctor, love on the hubby (cause he's probably feeling a lot of things like helpless right now), keep your marriage strong, and keep seeking God's direction. We are all here for you! Looking forward to the day when you post pics of that first baby!
Prudent1

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

I will be praying for you, your husband and your future children. Amen.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Supergirl- Your post is so touching... I pray with all the other ladies here that God will grant you the desires of your heart, that He will reveal the remedy you asked for or just make it happen. This might be testing your faith a bit right now but my prayer for you is that in the end you will have a beautiful testimony.

Here is a song that helps me at my lowest- hope it will do the same for you.

He's Able

"God is able to do just what He said He would do
He's gonna fulfill E-V-E-R-Y promise to you
Don't give up on God cause He won't give up on you
He's Able!"

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Supergirl said:

Hi Sisters,

It is winter in my life right now. I had all these plans of when I wanted to have a baby, how I would coordinate it with the school year so that I could have the baby right in time for the last few weeks of the school year (I'm a teacher) and then sail into the summer, which I would have off. Also, was coordinating it around my own academic schedule so that I could get a spring class in right before baby was due. With that plan in mind, I figured I should try and get pregnant some time around late summer, early fall.

But then out of no where, the desire to be a mother just HIT and I mean hard. I had never been one of *those * type of women. ooooh, aaaahh, I want a baby but I seemingly turned into one almost overnight. I knew that God must have placed this desire in my heart according to His plan. I'd always said that He was probably laughing at the way I had things planned out to the T as far as conceiving and having my first baby. I knew that His plan would always prevail and I was seeing that happen with me suddenly wanting a baby at a time that would make the baby due *right* at the beginning of a new school year which, as a teacher, I never wanted!

In November, my hubby and I gave it a try and to my delight, surprise, and great thanks to God, we got pregnant that first month. I felt so blessed and so special to be chosen to carry out such a miracle. But my hopes and heart were dashed when I lost the baby very early in the pregnancy. I was heartbroken. It's a different kind of hurt than other disappointments like breakups, loss of loved ones, and so on. Okay Lord, I guess now I have paid for the abortion I had in college. I know You have a plan God. Your strength is made perfect in weakness. You'll work this out for my good. You'll get the glory. I was a soulja! Even though it hurt, I could feel His strength and peace on me.

The doc said we could try again as soon as we wanted. Being very familiar with my fertile signs, I noticed that I was in my fertile phase less than 2 weeks after the loss. So we went for it again and about 5 days after ovulation, I knew in my heart (and with the physical symptoms I was feeling) that the Lord has blessed our conception efforts once again. I told myself, okay this must have been the right time rather than the last time. But low and behold, this next pregnancy did not get off the ground either.

I don't know what's wrong. Since the first loss, I had been confessing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made over my body but for some reason my body is getting pregnant but not holding on to them for long at all. This time, the "soulja" has gone out of me. I am sure that one day I will look back and realize what God was doing, but this second time has knocked the wind out of my sails. This time I feel like I don't want to try anymore. This time I feel like I would rather remain childless than to go through this again. Maybe my feeling will change as I start feeling better, but right now

So if you would take a moment to lift me up in prayer, I could really use it.

I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow with a new doc--I feel like my doc was being too passive about this and I want/need help.

Please pray that the new doc will treat this with the level of seriousness that I believe it deserves.

Please pray that we will find out what the issue is or that enough tests/observations will be done to rule out issues so that we will know that this really did just happen by chance.

It's my understanding that one early loss like this is very common, often suffered by a woman who never knew she was pregnant and just thinks she got a bad period that was a little late. But, with two, it may not be so random/by chance.

And if there is an issue, please pray that it is one that has a simple remedy.

And lastly, please pray that the medical bills from the testing or whatever will be manageable for us and that we will not have to go into debt to pay them.

I just want answers. I feel like in order to feel peace, I just need to know something.

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Hi Supergirl, You will have your baby...

Be at peace, for God is not slack concerning His promises.

Remember Hannah? 'Because she prayed', all because she asked God to remove the sorrow from her heart, by giving her a baby; and in turn she dedicated her baby to the Lord.

Blessed is the 'fruit of your body', the fruit of the womb is your reward. For again and again, God is not slack concerning His promises.

His first promise to Adam and Eve was to 'replenish' the earth; for every seed produces after it's own kind and therefore you shall be as God commanded to be 'fruitful and multiply'.

God is not slack concerning His promises and 'Life' is His promise to us. And in your next 'seed' of life that will be planted into your womb, the fruit shall not fall from the vine, before it's time. It shall not fall to the ground and perish; but you will bring forth the life of the baby promised.

In Jesus' Name, Amen and Amen.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

I have said a prayer for you, and I will continue to remember you in my prayers!

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Thank you dear sisters!

Today's appointment with the new doc went extremely well. She left me feeling extremely hopeful. She knew what she was doing. She ordered tests right away. I've already been to the lab and had 12 vials of blood drawn! (but I was happy to do it)

The doctor was so kind and reassuring. She even had a few personal words of encouragement to offer. She really blessed me.

And... I won't be out of more than $75 so far for today's visit and blood work.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

(((Hugs))) Praying for you.

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Praying for a successful pregnancy!

Re: I know He's working it out for my good, but I'm not doing too good right now

Sending up prayers for you SG. Be confident and trust that God always honors His promises in His time, in His way. Patience dear one (easier said than done sometimes). You will have your precious child