Supergirl
With Love & Silk
I have this cousin that I was very close to growing up. We ended up going to high school together and doing a lot together. We went to college together. We BOTH got into some things that we had no business getting into. Well, I pulled away from those things first and that is where the separation began.
During college, she betrayed me in the worst way and didn't think I'd ever find out. But I did and I called her and told her that there wasn't anything she could ever do to me to make me stop loving her.
After college, for some reason, she could not stand me. I didn't know why, but within that time I had a very telling dream. The dream was that we, along with our family, were at a long dining table and all of a sudden she stood up and started yelling at me and telling me that I think I'm oh so holy now and things of that nature. A few weeks later, I ran into a cousin who mentioned her and told me to keep doing what I was doing and that I was being "persecuted" for doing the right things. This all made sense, after all it was my re-dedication to my relationship with the Lord that caused me to stop doing the irresponsible things I was doing while we were in college. I guess she felt that I'd pulled away from her, but it was really the "things" I was pulling away from.
Some of you may remember my thread on the OT from 2 years ago where I was really and truly about to kick her out of my wedding. There was a big blow up--she went off on me really badly about a non-issue. She complained about any and everything related to her role in my wedding. I wanted her to be a part, but I did not want the stress. It would have saddened me to put her out, and I did not end up doing so. I'm glad. She was the best doggone attendant that I had that day--she went all out and overboard. But after that, I could tell that she was not really "cool" with me. I wanted to be.
My personality type is the type that values relationships with people, even less significant relationships like with those I work with. My mom is the kind of person that says "forget 'em." I'm just not like that. So it has been bothering me that my cousin and I were not "cool." Also, she's been through a lot in the last 6-7 years and I have been worrying about her and praying for her like crazy. But we didn't really have the kind of relationship anymore where I could call and check on her or take her out to cheer up. We live in pretty close proximity to one another also. In addition, she has a little girl that I just adore and I wanted to spend time with her too.
So before I convolute this story any further, let me get to my point. I'd say over the last 6 months or so, I'd started having dreams about my cousin. They were not bad dreams. Some were dreams to let me know that she was okay. Some were dreams that she and I were back on good terms. But the last dream was of me crying and praying to God saying "Lord, I want to have a relationship with my cousin." When I woke up I said "Lord, I really do want to have a relationship with her."
Now jump a week later and I'm on the phone with my other cousin. We were actually a "trio" growing up, but I haven't mentioned her thus far because she hasn't been significant to the story. I keep in touch with cousin 3 and so does the cousin I've been writing about for this whole post. Well, cousin 3 tells me a few days ago that cousin 2 asked for my phone number and said she wants to talk to me because we haven't talked in a while. My only thought was "wow" because it had just been a week since I was talking to God about her in my dream and when I awoke. Today, I had a voice mail from her. She probably has no idea how much I've been longing to "reconcile" with her and how much it means to me, but God does and He has acted on my behalf. It is hard to grasp that He cares about these (seemingly small) things in my life.
I love Him.
I just wanted to share. Maybe this will touch someone. Maybe this will inspire someone to go to God about something that you thought was not a big deal.
During college, she betrayed me in the worst way and didn't think I'd ever find out. But I did and I called her and told her that there wasn't anything she could ever do to me to make me stop loving her.
After college, for some reason, she could not stand me. I didn't know why, but within that time I had a very telling dream. The dream was that we, along with our family, were at a long dining table and all of a sudden she stood up and started yelling at me and telling me that I think I'm oh so holy now and things of that nature. A few weeks later, I ran into a cousin who mentioned her and told me to keep doing what I was doing and that I was being "persecuted" for doing the right things. This all made sense, after all it was my re-dedication to my relationship with the Lord that caused me to stop doing the irresponsible things I was doing while we were in college. I guess she felt that I'd pulled away from her, but it was really the "things" I was pulling away from.
Some of you may remember my thread on the OT from 2 years ago where I was really and truly about to kick her out of my wedding. There was a big blow up--she went off on me really badly about a non-issue. She complained about any and everything related to her role in my wedding. I wanted her to be a part, but I did not want the stress. It would have saddened me to put her out, and I did not end up doing so. I'm glad. She was the best doggone attendant that I had that day--she went all out and overboard. But after that, I could tell that she was not really "cool" with me. I wanted to be.
My personality type is the type that values relationships with people, even less significant relationships like with those I work with. My mom is the kind of person that says "forget 'em." I'm just not like that. So it has been bothering me that my cousin and I were not "cool." Also, she's been through a lot in the last 6-7 years and I have been worrying about her and praying for her like crazy. But we didn't really have the kind of relationship anymore where I could call and check on her or take her out to cheer up. We live in pretty close proximity to one another also. In addition, she has a little girl that I just adore and I wanted to spend time with her too.
So before I convolute this story any further, let me get to my point. I'd say over the last 6 months or so, I'd started having dreams about my cousin. They were not bad dreams. Some were dreams to let me know that she was okay. Some were dreams that she and I were back on good terms. But the last dream was of me crying and praying to God saying "Lord, I want to have a relationship with my cousin." When I woke up I said "Lord, I really do want to have a relationship with her."
Now jump a week later and I'm on the phone with my other cousin. We were actually a "trio" growing up, but I haven't mentioned her thus far because she hasn't been significant to the story. I keep in touch with cousin 3 and so does the cousin I've been writing about for this whole post. Well, cousin 3 tells me a few days ago that cousin 2 asked for my phone number and said she wants to talk to me because we haven't talked in a while. My only thought was "wow" because it had just been a week since I was talking to God about her in my dream and when I awoke. Today, I had a voice mail from her. She probably has no idea how much I've been longing to "reconcile" with her and how much it means to me, but God does and He has acted on my behalf. It is hard to grasp that He cares about these (seemingly small) things in my life.
I love Him.
I just wanted to share. Maybe this will touch someone. Maybe this will inspire someone to go to God about something that you thought was not a big deal.
