loolalooh... :Rose:
I went through this with my first husband... then one day,
the last day, I remember walking away from him. Allowing him to pack his things, him dragging the packing process thinking that I would be crying like before. However, I was tired of crying. I just didn't care.
On this day, our babies (our two children - then our son, age 3 1/2 and our daughter 15 months) were napping. I packed a diaper bag; made sure I had extra money in my purse. Then, I gently woke up my babies, dressed them and I left the house. I left him there, ironing his clothes, as he was stilll vainly prolonging his leaving, in an attempt to give me more time to 'cry' and ask him not to leave.
I didn't cry, I didn't care. On the other side of my life, I could see something so precious, I saw peace and calm, no more of his childish antics. I was free. Free is what I wanted and needed to be. That and my babies, were my focus. I left, giving him time to finish packing and to leave me forever, as he had said.
I left, took my babies for a wonderful and peaceful evening away from him. It was wonderful... the peace and the calm quiet. My babies were soooo good. Their little eyes were happy and smiling at me as they enjoyed sharing an order of fries. I laughed at my babygirl trying to sip the milkshake from my straw. It was a 'new' experience for her. I still remember how her little mouth and cheeks would puff trying to pull the thick milkshake from the straw. I finally fed to her with a spoon. She loved it. My son, so little, yet such a little man; he too, enjoyed the milkshake and his fries. My babies and I were at peace.
That night I went back home to an empty house; a house empty of strife and contention and yelling and fighting. There was peace. I put my babies in bed with me. I woke up the next morning, feeling soooo free and happy.
loolalooh, I never looked back. I couldn't, what was in back of me, was not healthy, it wasn't what I wanted. I was looking 'forward'... for that forward focus was full of peace.
Precious Loolalooh, look at the forward of where you want to be... 'the forward of being 'Free'. Free to love and to be happy with someone who has been molded by the hands and the heart of God, just for you.
Look forward to being that free woman of God who no longer is held captive by dead works of the enemy, who had set a trap for you emotionally, in an attempt to bind you away from what God truly has for you in this life.
Look forward and live in the presence of it... for God is there, keeping you 'Free'.
In Jesus' Name, Father God in Heaven, thank you for the love and the life that you have designed for precious Loolalooh; you will never forsake her and you will keep her and guide her and make her see, indeed you have made her 'free'. With all of our hearts we believe, we receive, we pray...
Forever, Amen and Amen.