Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal with

Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

falon, your hair is lookin sooo good girl! go on with your bad self!! whats your regimen? I love the shine! and its growing fast! how do u normally wear it as its growing?
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

Thanks Leslie...I PM'ed you.
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Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

Wow. I guess I never really thought about it. Everybody in my family had long hair with the exception of a few and that's because I could TELL that they didn't know WHAT they were doing. When I see people with really long hair, I don't automatically assume it's fake. I saw this girl working in Sam's Club some months ago and asked her who did her hair. It was so pretty, full and it was so curly - like she had put perm rods in it. She told me that it was a weave. I was in shock. I didn't even think that it COULD be fake. I didn't know weave could be styled like that. I've never worn any extra hair so my perception is quite limited. I've been around so many people during my life who have had long hair and I have honestly wondered why people chose to wear weave. I never attributed long hair to just my family or just those people's families.

And after the jheri curl, I don't see why black people don't already KNOW that black hair CAN grow long. How many people with the jheri curl had hair that DIDN'T grow while they had it? Of course, no one realized that it was the constant moisturizing that made the hair thrive.
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

Hey, it's good to hear from you Valleygirl. Now I'm going back to read everyone's posts.

Don't worry about the screenname, almost no one get's it right.
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But I agree. A lot of people think that 4a/b's can't have long hair, and that a lot of our members either have a weave, or they are hispanic or mixed. When they see 4b's a lot of the members here are relaxed, so it's hard to tell what type of hair is 4a or b if it's relaxed especially if the pictures are online.

When I first came to this board two years ago my hair was right at my ears in the back, and hitting the top of my ears in the front. My hair that was shaved in the back was exactly 3 inches from scalp to ends, and my hair on the top of my hair was 5.5 inches scalp to ends.

From May 20, 2002 until July 16, 2004 my hair has grown from 0-3 inches (5/2002) to 15-17 inches scalp to ends (7/2004) my hair is 1/2 an inch away from all my braclasps, and people have said my hair is fake. IRL however the only reason why people think my hair is real is because I dyed my hair very dark black, and the newgrowth is a different color and shows my growth.

Trust me, if you look in my photogallery on this site, and my fotki site, I have month by month comparisions of my hair in updates up until November. I will add more, if people don't believe it, oh well, I can't make them believe anything. I guess more black women have to learn to take care of their hair and let it grow before people will start accepting that black women can grow hair without weaves.
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

[ QUOTE ]
ichephren said:
I donno that the ladies on the board would automatically peg someone as weaved unless it seemed doubtful that it was really their hair. For example, the thread on Jada Pinkett. Since she is a celebrity, there is automatically a red flag. I get what you're saying about people IRL though. If I saw a woman on the street IRL with long hair, I wouldn't know what to think. It depends on what the hair looks like in addition to it being long(shiny, "fake looking,"
lachen70.gif
, etc). But I have seen long haired black women who I truly thought were for real. Nowadays wevaes are so seamless that it's hard to tell what's what especially when it comes to celebrities. As for people like Adrienne having long hair, lemme play the devil's advocate. I guess your friends don't believe you since they have never seen it on black women IRL. We tend to assume what we commonly observe. Most people believe that black women can't grow long hair since that opinion is validated daily. If we could, then why do so many of us have weaves and wear braids 24/7? And if our hair isn't in extensions, it's out and ratty looking. So, if you've never seen long hair on a black woman in your life, then why should you believe that it can happen, even on someone like Adrienne(who to them is simply a woman who you know from the internet)?

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree, particular with the statement: "We tend to assume what we commonly observe."

It is a fact that most of us are on this board not because we CAN'T grow our long, but because it is DIFFICULT to do so and the reason we're having success NOW is because we have kinda started to figure out the many many extra special things we need to do (or NOT do) in order to keep our hair long -- it sure don't come from just "wash and go" -- we have to take extra special care of our hair, more so than other races. Obviously, black women hair grows same as any other race -- just check out your new growth!! However, some folks can do anything to their hair, and it grows long. Period. And some folks gotta work at it and just can't do anything but must be careful in order to keep that growth.

In addition, I believe as we move foward, more black women WILL be sporting long hair because we're finally learning new things and breakthrus in technology are making it possible. For example:
-superior formulated relaxers compared to the "conk" or "pure lye" from decades ago
-superior maintenance products that's taken us away fromall that grease
-better research/information on which ingredients work best
-better methods of care, like limiting heat, reducing blowdyring and increasing rollersets
-better styling equipment: satin headwraps and scrunchies, seamless combs, ionic/ceramic tools, etc.

I could go on and on about all the different reasons why I believe future generations of black women will routinely and regularly sport long hair, 'cause we will have figure the thing out and will have the tools needed to the the "extra stuff" to keep our hair healthy. --Witness the fact that "hype hair" is already trying to meet the need -- believe me, pure economics will drive others to compete and develop the kinds of accessories that knowlegeable black women will buy.

Ladies, we are merely the pioneers and are at the moment on the cutting edge of a whole new revolution for black women. Indeed, I think the need for boards like this will be eliminated in another generation or so because the KNOWLEDGE that we are accumulating here will be spread as "common sense" throughout the culture and little black girls today will have a HUGE advantage 'cause WE, that's right YOU AND ME (their mommies, aunties, counsins, friends, etc.) are gonna school them right from day one! It's already happening . . .

Just my two cents!
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

[ QUOTE ]
Neroli said:
Ladies, we are merely the pioneers and are at the moment on the cutting edge of a whole new revolution for black women. Indeed, I think the need for boards like this will be eliminated in another generation or so because the KNOWLEDGE that we are accumulating here will be spread as "common sense" throughout the culture and little black girls today will have a HUGE advantage 'cause WE, that's right YOU AND ME (their mommies, aunties, counsins, friends, etc.) are gonna school them right from day one! It's already happening . . .

Just my two cents!

[/ QUOTE ]

You read my mind! I was just thinking about this a little while ago. All the mommies on the board are giving their kids such a great head start.
 
Sorry for discussing another topic, but Valleygirl, how is the hair? I remember your pictures back in the day, and you have one of the most beautiful heads of hair on the board!
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

I used to think like this, as well. Growing up I rarely saw a black woman who wasn't ethnically mixed with long hair but when I went off to college I started seeing more black women with shoulder length or longer hair. It's just that we have to put more effort into caring for our hair and, sadly, many of us still don't have a clue as to what we're supposed to to to retain our length and keep our hair in good condition. That's why I think it's so important to have a hair board like this one to share info so that all of us can have the right knowledge.
 
UGH!!! I can't stand this too!!! Even before I came to this board I had seen tons of AA women of every shade and facial feature style imaginable with long hair. Not a ton, but certainly enough to know that it was possible. It all comes down to CARE!!!! I don't know why silly people think that! That's why it's so important what we tell our daughters or other little AA girls that we come into contact with - that their hair is good if it's taken care of - bad hair is hair that is not taken care of - period! So everyone can and will have good hair if they take care of it, and everyone can and will have bad hair if they don't! If we all do this, we could wipe out this archaic thinking in one if not two generations!!! :)
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

[ QUOTE ]
Neroli said:
[ QUOTE ]
ichephren said:
I donno that the ladies on the board would automatically peg someone as weaved unless it seemed doubtful that it was really their hair. For example, the thread on Jada Pinkett. Since she is a celebrity, there is automatically a red flag. I get what you're saying about people IRL though. If I saw a woman on the street IRL with long hair, I wouldn't know what to think. It depends on what the hair looks like in addition to it being long(shiny, "fake looking,"
lachen70.gif
, etc). But I have seen long haired black women who I truly thought were for real. Nowadays wevaes are so seamless that it's hard to tell what's what especially when it comes to celebrities. As for people like Adrienne having long hair, lemme play the devil's advocate. I guess your friends don't believe you since they have never seen it on black women IRL. We tend to assume what we commonly observe. Most people believe that black women can't grow long hair since that opinion is validated daily. If we could, then why do so many of us have weaves and wear braids 24/7? And if our hair isn't in extensions, it's out and ratty looking. So, if you've never seen long hair on a black woman in your life, then why should you believe that it can happen, even on someone like Adrienne(who to them is simply a woman who you know from the internet)?

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree, particular with the statement: "We tend to assume what we commonly observe."

It is a fact that most of us are on this board not because we CAN'T grow our long, but because it is DIFFICULT to do so and the reason we're having success NOW is because we have kinda started to figure out the many many extra special things we need to do (or NOT do) in order to keep our hair long -- it sure don't come from just "wash and go" -- we have to take extra special care of our hair, more so than other races. Obviously, black women hair grows same as any other race -- just check out your new growth!! However, some folks can do anything to their hair, and it grows long. Period. And some folks gotta work at it and just can't do anything but must be careful in order to keep that growth.

In addition, I believe as we move foward, more black women WILL be sporting long hair because we're finally learning new things and breakthrus in technology are making it possible. For example:
-superior formulated relaxers compared to the "conk" or "pure lye" from decades ago
-superior maintenance products that's taken us away fromall that grease
-better research/information on which ingredients work best
-better methods of care, like limiting heat, reducing blowdyring and increasing rollersets
-better styling equipment: satin headwraps and scrunchies, seamless combs, ionic/ceramic tools, etc.

I could go on and on about all the different reasons why I believe future generations of black women will routinely and regularly sport long hair, 'cause we will have figure the thing out and will have the tools needed to the the "extra stuff" to keep our hair healthy. --Witness the fact that "hype hair" is already trying to meet the need -- believe me, pure economics will drive others to compete and develop the kinds of accessories that knowlegeable black women will buy.

Ladies, we are merely the pioneers and are at the moment on the cutting edge of a whole new revolution for black women. Indeed, I think the need for boards like this will be eliminated in another generation or so because the KNOWLEDGE that we are accumulating here will be spread as "common sense" throughout the culture and little black girls today will have a HUGE advantage 'cause WE, that's right YOU AND ME (their mommies, aunties, counsins, friends, etc.) are gonna school them right from day one! It's already happening . . .

Just my two cents!

[/ QUOTE ]

Right on Neroli! Also, I don't think generally speaking that black hair has to be harder to maintain than other races. I think that because so many of us choose to chemically treat our hair that is the difference. Your hair in it's natural state is easist to care for...no more difficult to take care of than any other race.

My fro was wash and go self maintaining but I didn't want to be stuck rocking a fro.

I like relaxed hair so I have to deal with the consequences of making my hair do what it wasn't meant to do. If a straight haired asian women wanted blond curly hair you better believe she'll be bald as an eagle if she doesn't have a lot of hair tricks up her sleeve. We need to stop thinking that we are sooo different from every other race on Earth. We really aren't...not that much anyway!
laugh.gif
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

[ QUOTE ]
Falon said:
[ QUOTE ]
Neroli said:
[ QUOTE ]
ichephren said:
I donno that the ladies on the board would automatically peg someone as weaved unless it seemed doubtful that it was really their hair. For example, the thread on Jada Pinkett. Since she is a celebrity, there is automatically a red flag. I get what you're saying about people IRL though. If I saw a woman on the street IRL with long hair, I wouldn't know what to think. It depends on what the hair looks like in addition to it being long(shiny, "fake looking,"
lachen70.gif
, etc). But I have seen long haired black women who I truly thought were for real. Nowadays wevaes are so seamless that it's hard to tell what's what especially when it comes to celebrities. As for people like Adrienne having long hair, lemme play the devil's advocate. I guess your friends don't believe you since they have never seen it on black women IRL. We tend to assume what we commonly observe. Most people believe that black women can't grow long hair since that opinion is validated daily. If we could, then why do so many of us have weaves and wear braids 24/7? And if our hair isn't in extensions, it's out and ratty looking. So, if you've never seen long hair on a black woman in your life, then why should you believe that it can happen, even on someone like Adrienne(who to them is simply a woman who you know from the internet)?

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree, particular with the statement: "We tend to assume what we commonly observe."

It is a fact that most of us are on this board not because we CAN'T grow our long, but because it is DIFFICULT to do so and the reason we're having success NOW is because we have kinda started to figure out the many many extra special things we need to do (or NOT do) in order to keep our hair long -- it sure don't come from just "wash and go" -- we have to take extra special care of our hair, more so than other races. Obviously, black women hair grows same as any other race -- just check out your new growth!! However, some folks can do anything to their hair, and it grows long. Period. And some folks gotta work at it and just can't do anything but must be careful in order to keep that growth.

In addition, I believe as we move foward, more black women WILL be sporting long hair because we're finally learning new things and breakthrus in technology are making it possible. For example:
-superior formulated relaxers compared to the "conk" or "pure lye" from decades ago
-superior maintenance products that's taken us away fromall that grease
-better research/information on which ingredients work best
-better methods of care, like limiting heat, reducing blowdyring and increasing rollersets
-better styling equipment: satin headwraps and scrunchies, seamless combs, ionic/ceramic tools, etc.

I could go on and on about all the different reasons why I believe future generations of black women will routinely and regularly sport long hair, 'cause we will have figure the thing out and will have the tools needed to the the "extra stuff" to keep our hair healthy. --Witness the fact that "hype hair" is already trying to meet the need -- believe me, pure economics will drive others to compete and develop the kinds of accessories that knowlegeable black women will buy.

Ladies, we are merely the pioneers and are at the moment on the cutting edge of a whole new revolution for black women. Indeed, I think the need for boards like this will be eliminated in another generation or so because the KNOWLEDGE that we are accumulating here will be spread as "common sense" throughout the culture and little black girls today will have a HUGE advantage 'cause WE, that's right YOU AND ME (their mommies, aunties, counsins, friends, etc.) are gonna school them right from day one! It's already happening . . .

Just my two cents!

[/ QUOTE ]

Right on Neroli! Also, I don't think generally speaking that black hair has to be harder to maintain than other races. I think that because so many of us choose to chemically treat our hair that is the difference. Your hair in it's natural state is easist to care for...no more difficult to take care of than any other race.

My fro was wash and go self maintaining but I didn't want to be stuck rocking a fro.

I like relaxed hair so I have to deal with the consequences of making my hair do what it wasn't meant to do. If a straight haired asian women wanted blond curly hair you better believe she'll be bald as an eagle if she doesn't have a lot of hair tricks up her sleeve. We need to stop thinking that we are sooo different from every other race on Earth. We really aren't...not that much anyway!
laugh.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

i disagree. afro textured black hair is very different from straight or wavy hair in the way it looks, feels and acts in it's natural state. it is more fragile and prone to breakage whether natural or relaxed. when natural the texture makes it hard to comb for many of us - just combing afro hair is a special skill that many have to LEARN to do at certain intervals so that it doesn't break off. it's a technique that doesn't always come naturally. to grow it out many of us have to keep it styled so it doesn't tangle, knot and break off from wearing it out too much or combing too often. then when it's time to wash afro hair can shrink up so much it's almost unbelievable. imagine having shoulder length hair (pressed) that shrinks to 2 inches around your head when you wet it due to the tiny fuzzy coil pattern.
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then you must manipulate (stretch) this hair into a style that flatters you and fits your schedule.

one thing i figured out was afro hair tends to need to be styled creatively for long periods (1 week to 2 months) to maintain and grow it out healthy. wavy or straight hair seems to need to be washed daily to keep the oils from building up and making the hair dirty and stringy. culturally (american) whites tend to think it's nasty or lazy to leave the hair unwashed for more than a couple days at a time. so their burden is having to wash, condition, blow dry, and fingerstyle their straight, wavy, or curly-ish hair every morning. although my hair styles are more difficult than white women's styles, i only have to do it once every 2 weeks bcuz my hair doesn't get oily looking.
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

All I have to say is there a many women on this site that dispel those myth and people more likely than not feel that way b/c before healthy care practices became common knowledge to inquiring minds like ours, I saw very very relaxed (4a/4b) sisters with swinging down the middle of their backs. I think the more of us who become educated and continue allow our hair to grow longer more people will believe it is possible. I have looked in albums I have yet to see a head that I thought had a a strand of weave in it.
 
[ QUOTE ]
Islandgirl said:
Sorry for discussing another topic, but Valleygirl, how is the hair? I remember your pictures back in the day, and you have one of the most beautiful heads of hair on the board!

[/ QUOTE ]

I remember it too, she was one of the first albums I saw when I joined last summer. She still has an album up..I checked it out last night
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Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

Sorry- Off Topic

I just wanted to say how happy I am to see you ValleyGirl!!!
grin.gif

You were, and still remain one of my original hair inspirations on this board.
notworthy.gif


I hope that all is well and that we'll be seeing more of you in the future.
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

Well i'm one of the dissenters in the group i agree that anyone can grow hair. My hair was longer when i was schoolage and shorter when i got older and I always thought the reason my hair was short as an adult is because i kept cutting it and changing my style to the point my mama just told me, "jainy would you please stop cutting your hair off so it can grow out" and i have the 4a/b type hair that alot of people on this board complain about having (but that's another topic--- btw-- i really dislike hearing this beautiful hair type put down--not outright but in the words of disgust ppl use when they talk about it, if it's not beautiful to you cool, but anything that's apart of me is a thing of beauty). The thing in my family is that i had always been told i had that "thick, 'growing' " kind of hair. I still have no idea what that means but i never thought i couldnt have long hair, it was just never something i aspired to have until i came to this board.

I found this board after i had to leave my SHS alone and was about a few inches past shoulder length. Still then i never thought about growing my hair, i just thought i was a wild- headed black girl without a beautician
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i think that alot of this depends on what you heard growing up also because take me for instance i was born totally BALD. I didnt have but like 10 strands of hair my mom said at 1 y/o and everyone kept telling her (i'm from superstitious New Orleans so please bear with me)"that girl was born bald, you better watch out...she gonna have some thick hair" well sure enough whether they talked it up or it was coincidence i got some thick *** hair
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But the point is i never thought i couldnt grow it just because i'm black or because of my hairtype. that's just like saying, "i give up where's the weave store" jmo -- jainygirl
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

My biggest gripe is that as black women we are forced to carry so much baggage with our hair. Everything we do to our hair seems to carry more significance than it should.

When white women dye or alter the natural texture of their hair they are being fun, versatile and stylish. When black women do the same thing is is considered self-hate. Getting a relaxer supposedly means we think something is wrong with our hair in it's natural state. Dyeing our hair a lighter color means we are trying to be white. Going natural means you are somehow more proud of your blackness than black women who relax.

It gets old after a while. Can't a black woman just style her hair a certain way because she likes it? Does their have have to be a deeper meaning?


Regarding the long hair/weave issue, I agree with those who say people are just going by what they are accustomed to seeing. Also when you consider the rampant abuse of weaves by celebrities both black and white (Paris and Britney anyone?), it's no wonder everybody thinks everyone has a weave. I remember comedian Sinbad joking "If you're baldheaded on Sunday, you can't have hair down your back on Wednesday." It's interesting that white women are starting to overtake black women in the weave department. I now find myself questioning whether a lot of white women's hair is real more than I do for black women.
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

<<I now find myself questioning whether a lot of white women's hair is real more than I do for black women. >>

OHHHH you ain't neva lied
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Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

Hey ValleyGirl,

I don't know if you remember me, but good to "see" you. I haven't been here in FOREVER myself. On to the topic...lol

I know that on this board and others it seems the best way to get a million posts on a topic is to ask:

Beyonce (pic included) Is this a weave? or Ashanti or whoever we are questioning at that moment.

I'm not sure why those posts always have the longest threads and they sometimes get heated. It could be a number of things.

Sometimes people are curious, and sometimes based on the person's perceived attractiveness they are torn down even more. I mean, there are no "Is Janet's hair a weave?" posts though. So I don't know.

I'm hoping that this board will dispell the myths out there about what black women can or can not acheive. I especially hope so because I think as black women, so many "other" women are in on the fake hair thing, that they just come up to us like "I like your weave?". Um excuse me? It sometimes seems like it's just another way to tear us down. I mean, let's say someone DOES have a weave, if it looks good who cares? And if her hair is long, do we have to pick it apart like "hmph! yup, she aint better than me. It's fake"

Anywhoo, it's almost midnight over here. Immo stop, then edit tomorrow because I'm sure I am making no sense.
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WOW!!! i'm so glad to see you posting again, valleygirl!! it's been a long time! how is your hair doing? i think the last time we chatted, you had just cut a few inches off. are you back at waist length now? i want a link to your album PLEASE!!
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anyway, to the subject at hand... when i found BHSGO back in june of 2000, i didn't think my hair would grow. it wasn't because i thought black women couldn't grow long hair. it was because i had been trying for almost 20 years, and MINE wouldn't grow. with products like Doo Gro and Don't Be Bald flourishing, i know i wasn't alone in this struggle. so it could be that many have tried and failed (because of lack of proper care). so they think it just can't be done.

i occasionally get people trying to feel for tracks on my head (mostly black folks), but i chalk it up to them not seeing many black women with longer hair. believe it or not though, i got that more often when my hair was shorter (it was WHIPPED, yall.
laugh.gif
). go figure...

i've often wondered why there have been so many threads about celebrities and weaves here, since we're all here to achieve long hair. maybe it's just because they're celebrities. i dunno...

p.s. we're gonna have another So Cal gathering in september i think. i hope to see you there!
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[ QUOTE ]
adrienne0914 said:
when i found BHSGO back in june of 2000

[/ QUOTE ]
Wow Adrienne. I found BHSGO shortly after you (October 2000).
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the only diff between white/black , is that alot of black ppl still think we cannot grow long hair. Whereas its normal for a white female to have long hair. so if one sees a white person with a weave its usually just for fun,, whereas a black person with a weave usually has one because she HAS to........ i used to think this way too,,, untill coming to the board..
 
Honestly when I go out on the street it is very rare that I see a black woman with hair longer than shoulder length as a matter of fact I rarely see a black woman on the street with at least shoulder length hair. So no it is not out of this world for people to think that you have a weave if you are black and have long hair. Black women are so sensitive about there hair. It a fact that many black women don't have long hair not that they can't have long hair.
 
SweetJamaica, I agree about not seeing very many black women with hair longer than shoulder length. I wonder then if this is why when a black woman has hair that is, say, to her shoulder blades, it's considered SO LONG? I know that it's meant to be a compliment, but I can't pretend that it doens't irritate me a little. Because in my head, what I hear is:"long for a black girl."
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

I guess it's considered so long because MOST do not have hair up to the sholder blades and certainly not waist length. I said MOST not all! Obviously many here are trying to make those hair goals!

When I was in elemetary school most of the little girls had short hair. I was one of maybe two people in the class with what could be considered "longish" hair.

Look around! One day I did a survey of sorts (I live in NYC) and most women I saw had shortish perms or weaves--lots of those. A few natural heads were out there. A few dreads (with long hair often). Is it that surprising then that people are surprised by black women with "long" hair? Is it that big a deal if they are?
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

Hello You Guys!!!!
Adrienne, Tara, Zola, Allandra, Daviine, Island Girl.... I am glad to see you guys are all still here. Lots of new 'faces' but still a ton of old heads!
Yes my hair has grown back and I just cut it again (about a month ago)
I have been wearing it straight and no matter how careful I am I always get straight stringy ends after a while, so I got a few inches trimmed off.

I think this is due to the curling iron I use to style after I iron more so than the flat iron. Yall know how anal I am with prepping my hair.
I get bored with the curly look sometimes so since about Sept '03 I have been mostly wearing it straight.
Apart from the few stringy ends my hair has been good.

I checked out your album today Adrienne. Your hair just keeps on growing - It looks beautiful as always. I always use you as an example when I tell women that they can grow long hair and they dont believe me.
I dont have any progress pics ( I grew out my relaxer in '98 before I found all the internet forums) so I send them on over to this board and tell them to look for you!

I will definitely be at the next So Cal gathering !

Valleygirl
 
Re: Why is it that the longest posts ALWAYS deal w

OH MY GOD! Valley! Your back! ((doing the happy dance))

We gotta catch up!
wink.gif


-lee
 
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