Why is it that no believes we can have long beautiful hair?

[rainbowknots]

Ok, I'll start off by saying that my boyfriend LOVES long hair. He's pretty much the reason why I took in interest in growing my hair out...per his request. Well I was talking to him on the phone today and I was telling him about all the products that I've bought so far for my hair. He tells me that he informed his mother that I was gonna try to grow my hair out for him and she told him that he was wrong for doing that. Why...because Black women can't grow their hair long (they're native american by the way). Well when he said it I was a little offended but not so much because I had pretty much been telling him the same thing for a while myself. Well since I joined this forum, I know that that myth isn't true at all, but it's funny that so many people (even black people) believe this to be true. Should I be offended now, even though I had been believing the same thing for so long?

 

[SparklingFlame]

I think its because most BW wear weaves and if not their hair is very short and broken, dry, ect.

Of course not EVERY BW is like this, obviously but all the weave we wear does make it seem like our hair wont grow.

 

[gymfreak336]

Because we don't have it. (as a whole of course)

Its hard to believe something is possible if A. you don't see if often and B. black people don't believe that we can. We think there is something inheritently so wrong with our hair that it is doomed from the start.

 

[Lady Kay 21]

This is what I would do.....
I wouldn't say anything about hair until I reach my goals, and then when you walk by his hating mother with your long flowing blanging sawnging hair, laugh out loud and doa swoosh shwoosh with your hand and then keep it moving. Then shes goign to come up to you and try to touch it to see if it's real, and thats when you tell her before she even opens her mouth "yes... and its ALL mine"!!!.

 

[MonPetite]

This is what I would do.....
I wouldn't say anything about hair until I reach my goals, and then when you walk by his hating mother with your long flowing blanging sawnging hair, laugh out loud and doa swoosh shwoosh with your hand and then keep it moving. Then shes goign to come up to you and try to touch it to see if it's real, and thats when you tell her before she even opens her mouth "yes... and its ALL mine"!!!.

Sounds like a plan....

 

[HoneyA]

This is what I would do.....
I wouldn't say anything about hair until I reach my goals, and then when you walk by his hating mother with your long flowing blanging sawnging hair, laugh out loud and doa swoosh shwoosh with your hand and then keep it moving. Then shes goign to come up to you and try to touch it to see if it's real, and thats when you tell her before she even opens her mouth "yes... and its ALL mine"!!!.

This is what I would do...not one word. I'd let my hair do the talking...

 

[Curlee_lurker]

his hating mother

I don't think she's hating though. The OP said she's said this before and I have heard more BW (outside of LHCF) say this than not.

People only know what they see, maybe the mom has only seen BW with raggedy hair. The general population of BW's hair is kinda torn up and I don't think this is a secret.

 

[rainbowknots]

This is what I would do.....
I wouldn't say anything about hair until I reach my goals, and then when you walk by his hating mother with your long flowing blanging sawnging hair, laugh out loud and doa swoosh shwoosh with your hand and then keep it moving. Then shes goign to come up to you and try to touch it to see if it's real, and thats when you tell her before she even opens her mouth "yes... and its ALL mine"!!!.

I do intend on proving her wrong. It just gave me even more motivation!

 

[msa]

I believe I can have long hair...I just won't know for sure until it is actually long. Since I've never had long hair before I can't blame other people for thinking it's impossible. No need to be offended, those are just the facts.

 

[SouthernStunner]

I agree with most on here. If someone were to tell me that pigs can fly I would not believe it because I see a lot of pigs and none of them fly. The same with BW and long health hair. Up until a few months ago I thought the same as your BF mother. But now that I see it I believe it. She is not hating she is only telling you from what she has seen so now you have the choice to prove her right and give up (not my choice) or to breakdown the sterotype and show here that it can be done (right answer).

Igorance only means unknowing so yeah I was and so many others were ignorant to the fact that BW can have long hair.


___SouthernStunner

 

[naturalmanenyc]

For the same reason that most people (Black and otherwise) never thought there would be a Black President of the US.....it had never happened. I do personally know a couple of Black women with long hair including my BFF - who is fair skinned. However, seeing long hair on a Black woman (espeically a darker skinned Black woman) was not the norm for me.

 

[SlantedEyezMiss2003]

Girl, grow that long hair!!!!! Just don't say to much, I agree with a bunch of ladies on here. Grow it, make it healthy, do what you have to do. My mom thinks I can't grow my hair to my waist, so I don't say nothing and just stay to myself, and my hair is thicker, and getting longer, so hopefully, I will have atleast bsl by dec 09 or earlier. But...GROWGIRLGROW.....Prove people wrong by growing it out.

 

[that_1_grrrl]

I'm almost willing to bet that someone Black told her this. In all honesty, I'm not sure people of other races pay that much attention to our hair, how it grows, whether or not certain famous Black women wear weave. I'm not sure.

 

[Solitude]

No, you shouldn't be offended. Many of us have thought this way for a long time & no matter how many of us grow our hair long, some people will continue to believe this. It's a racial stereotype - to be fair, all races have to deal with certain stereotypes. The problem is that we believe them, to -

Why do people believe black women cannot grow long hair?

1. Soooo many black women wear weaves & extensions - why wouldn't people think we can't have long hair? That's the message we send.
2. It actually does take more time & effort for most of us to grow out hair.
3. Deeply ingrained racism and unflattering caricatures of blacks with nappy, short, unmanageable hair portrayed in American culture over the years. It takes active effort to undue that type of brain-washing.

There are so many reasons why this idea persists, but these were the big three for me in the past.

ETA: No offense to anyone who wears weaves. I have, too, in the past for a change of pace. But, I don't understand women who wear them all the time, as a lifestyle thing.

 

[EbonyHairedPrincess]

I don't think she meant to offend you, she's speaking out of ignorance. Not to worry soon she'll be doing a double take at your hair and asking her son if it's a weave. Then she will be asking you how did you get your hair so full and shiny.

 

[rainbowknots]

Well I'm hoping I have a good turn out from joining this site. I've gone through so many threads and it seems like I learn something different everyday. I'm just glad that I joined and as soon as I can get my products, my journey will begin

 

[SouthernStunner]

I'm almost willing to bet that someone Black told her this. In all honesty, I'm not sure people of other races pay that much attention to our hair, how it grows, whether or not certain famous Black women wear weave. I'm not sure.

I am sorry to disagree with you. Yes other races do pay attention to not only our hair but out fashion as well. For instance in the '70's Bo Derek did the corn row thing in a movie, now where u think they got the idea for that????? BW are the trend sitters in hair and fashion. All eyes on us. So I really dont think another black person told her that (could have but I dont think so) I think she is going by what she sees.

 

[blazingthru]

I'm almost willing to bet that someone Black told her this. In all honesty, I'm not sure people of other races pay that much attention to our hair, how it grows, whether or not certain famous Black women wear weave. I'm not sure.

No they do notice, So many woman at work asked me what I was doing with my hair, its never out. and when I told them, they were so shocked they couldn't speak, But, but you can't grow you hair that long, I mean maybe to here, but not there no. I don't ever think I ever seen blah blah blah. I don't get mad I keep moving forward.

 

[cicilypayne]

Don't be offended waste of time and energy..Be postive and focus on your hair goals

 

[beans4reezy]

I believe I can have long hair...I just won't know for sure until it is actually long. Since I've never had long hair before I can't blame other people for thinking it's impossible. No need to be offended, those are just the facts.

I agree, no need to be offended. However, BW not being able to grow hair is not a fact. It is a perception- and perception is subjective and open to influence. Keep yourself motivated, grow your hair to amazing lengths and change the perception your BF's mom has of Black Hair.

 

[PinkPebbles]

I don't think she's hating though. The OP said she's said this before and I have heard more BW (outside of LHCF) say this than not.

People only know what they see, maybe the mom has only seen BW with raggedy hair. The general population of BW's hair is kinda torn up and I don't think this is a secret.

This is so true...I told my friend about this website and the first thing she said...these girls are mixed. I was like wow and said well, my hair is getting longer and I'm not biracial....

It's bettter to show rather than tell them!