Re: white women's comments about her black daughters' hair (long)...really touched me
Hi,
I'm the woman who originally wrote the post over on another hair care site called
Long Hair Community. I wrote it in reply to another poster's question, I believe. It wasn't an article or pontification or anything like that, just a post that addressed a few issues related to the original post -- transitioning to natural, I think.
I didn't expect it would generate any kind of interest at all. In fact, I felt bad after posting that it was so long, and rather disjointed. Plus for some reason, I always think that what I say about "black hair" will be laughed at or rejected. I'm probably wrong about that but I am sensitive.
Anyway, I believe I have a lack in my life of people I can talk to about natural hair, so I was so happy to find that 4a thread on the other forum. as a result....I wrote a LOT. The women over there are very cool, and I love the 4A thread gals (I think there's a dude on there, too).
I want to thank you all for responding positively to my post.
To address a few questions that came up: no I did not belong to your forum, although I do now. It is a forum rich with information and good folks. I though about joining before, but wasn't sure if I would be well-received. I did join another AA natural one a few years back when I was struggling with my "kinkier" daughter's dislike of her hair. Unfortunately, I didn't feel welcome at all, so I left.
I do use terminology commonly found on hair sites and in books-- big chop, TWA, no-poo. I have been into hair for a while. I love natural hair care for my whole family.
To address the lady who said I was a little "off" about clumping racial groups together by hair -- I didn't mean it to come out that way.
I know a lot of people across a lot of racial groups and EVERYBODY has different hair. Because that thing was a forum post, and not an article, it wasn't honed, and came across as a generalization. So sorry.
Anyway, I've joined here now. I'm not the greatest styler in the world, but I am good at hair care.... and there's always more to learn. It doesn't matter what kind of hair you have or where you are from -- natural hair care is like gardening -- hands on, needs the right mix of things, patience, experimentation, and love.
This all came about from wanting to help my kids love their hair, because they did get information from others that black hair is "bad hair." I thought it would be cool to get Ebony mag, but I hated it because there was so much weave and so many relaxer ads, that I stopped. We've gotten stopped in the street by women who felt led to tell me my kids natural hair needed to be taken care of, and I should be ashamed of myself. My girls have heard unsolicited opinions of their hair by relatives and strangers who proclaimed one daughter's hair "good hair" and the other's "bad hair."
And don't even get me started on stupid things well-meaning white people say. That's a whole other post.
So the love needed to come from home. Home is the origin of most things our children learn and take with them when they grow up, so what we teach them better be loving and wise and good.
The secret of AA hair is this: there's nothing not to love. It just takes extra time to style, but this can be used wisely as healing down time, meditation time, bonding time, etc... I hope to contribute on this forum if I can, and to, as always, keep learning.
Thanks for not bashing my post!
erplexed. Are you a member there too??
*sigh*
...i hope to read more from you.
The ladies on this forum are great and trust me they know their stuff! I'm sure that you will be well-received. Once again, welcome!
Welcome to LHCF! as a mother and a forum member, I loved reading both posts.
