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ubavka123 said:
I agree that protective styles are key. And I also believe that it gets easier as the hair gets longer. But I have another thing that I think, too, and I know that this was true for me. I had to let go of the notion that I could only look good if my hair was down and flowing. When I was in college, I was at the salon weekly. My hair had to be down or I did not feel pretty. I was so useless about styling my own hair that I would throw on a baseball cap in between salon visits. Getting to class and studying were more important than looking cute. After college and getting a job, well, the baseball cap didn't fly, so I started doing a french twist and ponytails. I had below neck-length hair then. My job hours were not conducive to hitting the salon every week, so I started going only when I wanted to get a touch-up, which was every eight weeks. I have always waited 8 weeks. For me, longer than that is stretching the relaxer, shorter than that is pushing it and asking for damage. My hair grew to my shoulders during this period and was healthy. I live in protective styles and I have always had shoulder-length hair (thanks to heat styling, not protecting my ends like I should, and scissor-happy you-know-whos). Now my hair is to my shoulder blades and I still live in them. It was even longer before my last touch-up, but I had to cut my ends. Since coming to this board, I have learned the importance of taking care of them.
If and when I get to bra-strap or mid-back, I will still live in protective styles. I love my hair blowing in the wind for one day, and then, I just can't take the fuss. Up it goes, into its bun. Well, I am a little long-winded here, but what I wanted to say is that you should not make your hair the focus (especially when you are trying to grow it out longer). Wear a bun or twist and put on some pretty earrings, a nice outfit, a little make-up, whatever it is you do, and work it. The hair does not have to be the total look, it's just part of it. I think it is hard to stretch out a relaxer sometimes, because the hair becomes so much a part of how we feel about our look. I have learned to lighten up about this and it helps with stretching relaxers, protective styles, etc. And the tips on this board have made it so much easier for me to deal with my new growth, that I might even try to go to 12 or 14 weeks this time. I am nervous and excited and telling myself what I just told you guys. So, I am not just blowing hot air.
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Thanks for sharing. You've given me some motivation