What to wear to the 21st century (Black) church?

[PaperClip]

Ok... here goes....

I've been in church all my life and grew up in a denomination that had some strict guidelines about dress (clothing, makeup, etc.) both in and out of the church bldg. (although my parents were not so strict on that but made sure to teach me to dress like a respectable lady, etc.).

So for this discussion, I'm focusing on what to wear when going to church. For example, I was brought up to not wear (women's) pants to church, no sleeveless tops/outfits, and that legs must be covered (panty hose).

So as time has progressed, my church (along with other churches, I'm sure) have "loosened up" these rules/guidelines. And I would wear pants to church but I would feel...how can I say...inappropriate. And I know this is (in part) due to my upbringing. I've gotten better down through the years but I still have that training to wear a dress/skirt for the Sunday morning service. Like for Bible Class or prayer, I'm ok with wearing pants. Definitely don't wear sleeveless tops (but I'm self-conscious about my arms) and I definitely don't go to Sunday church with bare legs, even in hot weather, even though I want to take those panty hose off in hot weather but again, I was brought up to wear them....

So for the summer, our pastor said we can come to church "casual" but I didn't hear the announcement so I came to church dressed.... I saw the different casual outfits and part of me was like "oh, ok" but then part of me was like "did he mean 'that casual?'

One reason I backed away from wearing pants is because of the pastor's wife, who is my mentor and my guide in terms of being a respectable woman of God. She mainly wears dresses/skirts. She has worn pants a couple of times to show the women what is appropriate, because some sisters (WHO KNEW BETTER!) took things too far and came in to the church with very, very tight pants, etc.

Please understand that I bring up this topic to get other perspectives. I think the Lord for the Holy Spirit checking me in terms of being judgemental of others who are no so restricted as I did to myself in terms of going with the training that I received growing up. Like when I would mention my "church training" as the reason for wearing panty hose in hot weather, my one sisterfriend at church would call it "tradition". I partly do not despise the training because it did show myself and the world that I was set apart, if you will. On one hand, I took (healthy) pride in that.... On the other hand, such pride goes unhealthy when it causes me to judge others about their commitment....

I should add that buying clothes is part of this issue for me as well. I'm a full-time student right now and I wear mainly jeans to campus and haven't bought as many skirts/dresses as I used to....

In the big scheme of things, this is not even in the top 50 things, but I was just curious about what others thought about this....

 

[Shimmie]

I don't have a problem with casual dressing; but I do have a problem with those who take it too far.

Growing up there was a term we used "wearing our Sunday Best". Whatever your 'Sunday Best' is, be it casual or not, it should always represent the best of who we are and whose we are...Jesus.

When I dress, I don't show cleavage and I don't wear garments that may show 'imprints' of my anatomy. (Close fitting T-Shirts that may expose the imprint of my nipples; or pants without a shirt/blouse/or jacket long enough to cover my Derrierre). If necessary, I will wear a sleeveless vest over a blouse or shirt that may be a challenge.

I don't wear 'work-out' gear or leotard/spandex type clothing to Church. It's too tight and body revealing.

But precious RR, --- we all basically know this, BUT have you noticed that some take 'casual' dress just a little too far down the paths of righteousness?

I have a problem with the 'exceptions' to the modesty codes. Such as a person who is 'un-churched' is wearing what they have or they just don't 'know' or the number of other 'reasons' why. When I first got saved, I was broker than broke, a limited wardrobe, and yet I still 'knew' better.

What's bad is that some who are 'churched' take it as a 'liberty' to wear the 'dare' that they've had stashed at home in their closets just to see how far they can get away with 'casual' dress.

Jesus was not casual with His death on the cross. In fact, He gave it all that He had...so why not us? Afterall, when we pray for His help, do we accept 'casual' results or answers to our prayers. Please, we have an instant disconnect.

Whatever we wear, let it be in good taste...our Sunday Best, whatever it happens to be. Just don't take it too casually.

 

[Guyaneek]

RR & Shimmie, both of your post were worth the read. I normally dress business casual to Sunday service. Usually consisting of skirts below my knees and a cute top or dress pants and a cute top. I am against hosiery for the most part particulary in the warmer months. I have been brought up also believing that on Sunday you were your best. I often invite others to church with me and when I do, I tell them to come as they are and to show them that they can come as they are, I dress down and wear jeans to make them more comfortable. I feel as long as your dress is appropriate (meaning you didn't come straight from the pole at Knockers or Cinderella's) you should come as you are. I also feel believe that some people wear what they have, meaning that if they don't have appropriate clothing then it is the duty of those who feel offended or threatened to lend a hand (or sweater) if necessary.

 

[dlewis]

I agree with alot of what has been said. Depending on the church. If I've never been to that church I wear a dress. If it's a church I frequent I wear pant suits, dresses, loose fitting jeans. I allow my son to wear shorts to church but my daughter mostly wears dresses (but summer type dresses not formal). Reason being I hated going to church as a child with these very uncomfortable clothes on. I want my children to be comfortable if they're going to be sitting there a couple of hours.

I have seen women in church dressed like they're going to the club but I justa praying and thankful that they're there and not somewhere else. Also, sometimes people just don't know any better. Life is a learning process for us all.

 

[Caramela]

When you look in the mirror, if you have to ask yourself if it's appropriate or not, then chances are, you need to change clothes Too many people wear things to church that they'd probablly get sent home for wearing to work...

 

[Guyaneek]

I agree with alot of what has been said. Depending on the church. If I've never been to that church I wear a dress. If it's a church I frequent I wear pant suits, dresses, loose fitting jeans. I allow my son to wear shorts to church but my daughter mostly wears dresses (but summer type dresses not formal). Reason being I hated going to church as a child with these very uncomfortable clothes on. I want my children to be comfortable if they're going to be sitting there a couple of hours.

I have seen women in church dressed like they're going to the club but I justa praying and thankful that they're there and not somewhere else. Also, sometimes people just don't know any better. Life is a learning process for us all.

So true! I sometimes forget that but regardless of what some people wear, they could have been wearing it at a totally different place! My pastor preached about this not too long ago. I do believe that our dress along with many other things is a progression. Most people get saved right out of the world and didn't prepare themselves for a life in Christ before hand so it is sometimes unreasonable to expect that they will immediately wear what we feel is appropriate.

 

[PaperClip]

Thanks, y'all for chiming in!

I just want to add that this thread is really about me and how I should realistically and wisely look at my clothing attire for church versus what other folk are wearing. I agree with the point that people hearing the gospel is the most important part and so what they wear doesn't matter, per se because some people just don't know or just don't have.... And I also agree that there there should be more reverence in coming to the house of the Lord, the same way that one would reverence going to court in real life (and even on court shows, but sometimes you're like at the clothing choices...but hey, maybe they're dressing for TV!)

The Bible talks about the older teaching the younger (I'm STILL on the younger end, praise the Lord!) and so I do sometimes sense that I have to dress to be an example as I minister in church (praise and worship, intercessory prayer, working with souls/new members) so maybe that's where my contemplation is coming from.... I know I can't do what everybody else does...and because of where I minister in the church, I have to be mindful of how I dress. Of course be respectable but at the same time like somebody else said in the thread, to make sure others are comfortable and that I remain approachable, touchable, etc.

Thank you for allowing me this space to think out loud on this topic....