What is my responsibility as a Christian in the Midst of Confusion?
I was in a situation a few months ago with a self-professed Christian woman. She is the girlfriend of my boyfriend's identical twin (confusing, I know). I met her about 7 months ago when my bf's brother started dating her. They all previously knew each other because they went to boarding school together from middle school through high school.
Well, me and my bf began going places and doing things with her and his brother-- going out to eat, going to sporting events, football parties, and on New Years Eve when me and my bf went to New York, we let them stay at my apartment for 2 days (they each still live at home). Since we are all in the same age group (24-27), I thought that it was great to have another couple to do things with.
She began calling me on Sundays after church (we go to separate churches) to just talk girltalk (I never called her, it was a bit one sided). She is a youth leader at her church and we would talk about books (The Purpose Driven Life), career goals, family and such. I am a really open and friendly person and I think this could have been an asset and a problem. Well, during our last conversation back in February, she called me after church to talk. We started talking about marriage. She told me that "since I'm almost 27 I cannot wait to get a ring. I have to stop myself since I think about it so much." Well, I just told her not to rush since they had only been dating about 4 months at the time. At that time my bf and I had been dating for 2 years. I implicitly told her that since I am 24, I am not rushing marriage.
She then started complaining that her boyfriend didn't want to go to church. I told her that I was really happy with my bf and thought his spiritual life was growing. We had just started going to church regularly and I told her this also. At this point, I began to think "why does she want to compare notes?" However, I kept talking to her. She went on to tell me that she goes to any hotel with her boyfriend whenever she can since they both live at home and it's hard to have alone time. By this time, I felt uncomfortable and wasn't going to tell her that I am a virgin. I didn't know how she would look upon that so I kept quiet. I didn't judge her or anything close, we just kept talking and laughing about things.
Well, when my bf went to visit his mom, he woke up the next morning with her shaking him. His mother then proceeds to tell him that his twin brother told her that I wanted to get married right away. That I was upset and mad at him for not wanting to go to church. That I always wanted to be alone with him.
These were the things that she told me!!! My bf knew right away that what she told his brother were lies because he knows me better than that. This really hurt me to the core. I couldn't stop thinking what does she have against me all of a sudden? Was she a true Christian who could lie without blinking? Did she get self-conscious and think that I would tell my boyfriend all that she had disclosed? She totally turned the tables on me and made sure to call her BF with this false info. the night that me and her spoke! My bf told me that all throughout the night the phone was ringing and it was her trying to get in (frantic) contact with his brother! Why?
Needless to say, I took it all personally. I called her up that night. I told her "I don't appreciate you telling lies on me to my BF's mother and his brother" I told her "I said none of those things, you said them." and finally i told her "I have a lot of respect for my bf's mother and i don't want her thinking badly of me." We have been together for over 2 yrs. They have been together for 6 months. She agreed and was very apologetic. It didn't make me feel any better because I wanted real answers. An hour later, I got them. She called me screaming and yelling. Cursing. Saying that I should be blaming her boyfriend for the whole mess because he was the one who told his mother. I reiterated that she was the one that started the chaos by lying on me to her bf! I told her God is not the author of confusion and if she had some problem with me (that was unbeknownst to me since we had great conversations), for her to please let me know.
Months went by. My boyfriend got mad at her and his brother b/c he knew that it wasn't true. I got mad at his mom b/c I thought "this lady has known me over 2 years and she still doesn't know what kind of woman I am?" I got mad at his brother b/c I thought why on Earth did he tell his mother this?? He must really hate me or really thought all of those lies were true! God began to work on my relationship with my boyfriend's twin. He would call me and we would end up talking about work or something and it was like normal. Or we would see each other at the mom's house and have a pretty decent conversation. But something in my gut kept bothering me about his girlfriend.
Then after 4 or 5 months of the silence and strangeness, me and my bf went over to his mom's house for memorial day. Who was there but the brother's girlfriend. I had been praying for a breakthru. Praying to Jehovah Belparazim for some type of revelation. Was it me? Did I do something wrong?
Well, she walked right past me and let out a loud "excuse me!" I just looked at her and shook my head. She had an attitude the whole day and stayed upstairs away from all of the family (except her bf). My bf and I gave her a ride home b/c she doesn't have a car and she let out a phony "Well thanks you all for the ride. It was so conveinient(sp)!"
This was the last straw for me. I just cannot figure it out and maybe it's not supposed to be solved...
Im sorry for the long post ladies, but this has been on my heart and I wanted to share and ask for prayer and advice. Thanks for reading. :Rose:
I was in a situation a few months ago with a self-professed Christian woman. She is the girlfriend of my boyfriend's identical twin (confusing, I know). I met her about 7 months ago when my bf's brother started dating her. They all previously knew each other because they went to boarding school together from middle school through high school.
Well, me and my bf began going places and doing things with her and his brother-- going out to eat, going to sporting events, football parties, and on New Years Eve when me and my bf went to New York, we let them stay at my apartment for 2 days (they each still live at home). Since we are all in the same age group (24-27), I thought that it was great to have another couple to do things with.
She began calling me on Sundays after church (we go to separate churches) to just talk girltalk (I never called her, it was a bit one sided). She is a youth leader at her church and we would talk about books (The Purpose Driven Life), career goals, family and such. I am a really open and friendly person and I think this could have been an asset and a problem. Well, during our last conversation back in February, she called me after church to talk. We started talking about marriage. She told me that "since I'm almost 27 I cannot wait to get a ring. I have to stop myself since I think about it so much." Well, I just told her not to rush since they had only been dating about 4 months at the time. At that time my bf and I had been dating for 2 years. I implicitly told her that since I am 24, I am not rushing marriage.
She then started complaining that her boyfriend didn't want to go to church. I told her that I was really happy with my bf and thought his spiritual life was growing. We had just started going to church regularly and I told her this also. At this point, I began to think "why does she want to compare notes?" However, I kept talking to her. She went on to tell me that she goes to any hotel with her boyfriend whenever she can since they both live at home and it's hard to have alone time. By this time, I felt uncomfortable and wasn't going to tell her that I am a virgin. I didn't know how she would look upon that so I kept quiet. I didn't judge her or anything close, we just kept talking and laughing about things.
Well, when my bf went to visit his mom, he woke up the next morning with her shaking him. His mother then proceeds to tell him that his twin brother told her that I wanted to get married right away. That I was upset and mad at him for not wanting to go to church. That I always wanted to be alone with him.
These were the things that she told me!!! My bf knew right away that what she told his brother were lies because he knows me better than that. This really hurt me to the core. I couldn't stop thinking what does she have against me all of a sudden? Was she a true Christian who could lie without blinking? Did she get self-conscious and think that I would tell my boyfriend all that she had disclosed? She totally turned the tables on me and made sure to call her BF with this false info. the night that me and her spoke! My bf told me that all throughout the night the phone was ringing and it was her trying to get in (frantic) contact with his brother! Why?Needless to say, I took it all personally. I called her up that night. I told her "I don't appreciate you telling lies on me to my BF's mother and his brother" I told her "I said none of those things, you said them." and finally i told her "I have a lot of respect for my bf's mother and i don't want her thinking badly of me." We have been together for over 2 yrs. They have been together for 6 months. She agreed and was very apologetic. It didn't make me feel any better because I wanted real answers. An hour later, I got them. She called me screaming and yelling. Cursing. Saying that I should be blaming her boyfriend for the whole mess because he was the one who told his mother. I reiterated that she was the one that started the chaos by lying on me to her bf! I told her God is not the author of confusion and if she had some problem with me (that was unbeknownst to me since we had great conversations), for her to please let me know.
Months went by. My boyfriend got mad at her and his brother b/c he knew that it wasn't true. I got mad at his mom b/c I thought "this lady has known me over 2 years and she still doesn't know what kind of woman I am?" I got mad at his brother b/c I thought why on Earth did he tell his mother this?? He must really hate me or really thought all of those lies were true! God began to work on my relationship with my boyfriend's twin. He would call me and we would end up talking about work or something and it was like normal. Or we would see each other at the mom's house and have a pretty decent conversation. But something in my gut kept bothering me about his girlfriend.
Then after 4 or 5 months of the silence and strangeness, me and my bf went over to his mom's house for memorial day. Who was there but the brother's girlfriend. I had been praying for a breakthru. Praying to Jehovah Belparazim for some type of revelation. Was it me? Did I do something wrong?
Well, she walked right past me and let out a loud "excuse me!" I just looked at her and shook my head. She had an attitude the whole day and stayed upstairs away from all of the family (except her bf). My bf and I gave her a ride home b/c she doesn't have a car and she let out a phony "Well thanks you all for the ride. It was so conveinient(sp)!"
This was the last straw for me. I just cannot figure it out and maybe it's not supposed to be solved...Im sorry for the long post ladies, but this has been on my heart and I wanted to share and ask for prayer and advice. Thanks for reading. :Rose:
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