To Cone or Not to Cone?

[Morenita]

I did a few searches, but I still haven't really found what I'm looking for so I'll just create a new post
~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok, soooo I know that cones create a vicious cycle. They block out moisture, coat your hair, requiring you to use sulfates to get them off, which in turn dry out your hair again. However, my question is if you're trying to stay cone-free, or at least limit the use of cones, what are the alternatives for providing slip?

I'm 7 months into my transition, with about 6 inches of NG. I've been using cones for as long as I can remember. When I was fully relaxed I used to swear by some Silk Therapy Recently though I have been re-considering my use of cones and searching for a cone-free regimen that could work for me. Two of the most important things for me at this time however are ease in detangling, and moisture. I'm afraid that cones will give me the detangling properties that I require, but will cause my hair to be more moisture deficient in the long run

So here's my story: Two days ago I clarified with Neutrogena Anti-Residue, applied Kenra MC, detangled thorougly, and baggied my head overnight (cone-free). Almost 24 hours later when I washed my hair out in the shower, it felt like straw erplexed. I wouldn't have dared to try and comb it. It was extremely tangled and I would have lost a lot of hair in the process with it in that state. Soooo, I re-conditioned my hair for a couple of hours with Mixed Chicks Deep Conditioner I rinsed it out in the shower and my hair felt like a dream, as usual when I use cones. I blotted it so it wasn't dripping wet and then said "fit", I'll just use some Lacio Lacio on the relaxed parts too while I'm at it I applied a cone-free moisturizer, a little of that Luster's Pink spray stuff (trying to use up some stuff) bunned it up while damp and went to sleep.

Today my hair is very soft and smooth, just the way I like it, but I'm not sure how long it will stay moisturized at this point. So I guess my question is should I even bother trying to go cone-free at this time? How many naturals and/or transitioners out there use or don't use cones? Do you think I'll ever be able to go cone-free? What are some natural, moisturizing detanglers out there? I've seen a few products that look good in theory, but I want some personal experiences if possible. I was looking at the Hamadi line, as well as the Curl Junkie Hibiscus and Banana D/C and the John Masters Lavender and Avocado just to name a few deep conditioners, which is my main focus. I'm definitely having a hard time trying to find products that are both paraben free, and without cones..

~TIA!

 

[HeChangedMyName]

I cone. I also relax. I know some people don't believe in cones at all, but with all the DCing, Chelating, ACVing and washing we do around here I don't honestly believe that they can even get the opportunity to cause much damage. just my opinion though. Cones help to smooth the hair cuticle out so that it is less prone to damaging itself by getting tangles and hooked onto fabrics. I look at yt girl hair and especially those who wash daily. many of their products are cones and i rarely see splits, tangles or damage in their hair so I think the benefits overall outweigh the damage in the long run. Afterall, no sense in growing out all this long beautiful African varieties of hair if it looks long and a hot mess. lol

 

[TrulyBlessed]

I'm natural and cone free for about 4 years and my hair stays moisturized pretty well. Now just a few days ago I call myself doing my first rollerset wrap on natural hair and I used cone products (serum and some fantasia ic gel) to set it and to help prevent reversion. My hair looks good but feels as dry as the sahara desert. I think I may have used too much gel/serum or maybe my hair just hates cones. Also I love DDTA which is cone based and detangles very very well but I notice that my hair doesn't stay properly moisturized when I use it. So with cones, moisturizer does nothing but sits on top of my hair and takes a nap.

 

[Morenita]

I cone. I also relax. I know some people don't believe in cones at all, but with all the DCing, Chelating, ACVing and washing we do around here I don't honestly believe that they can even get the opportunity to cause much damage. just my opinion though. Cones help to smooth the hair cuticle out so that it is less prone to damaging itself by getting tangles and hooked onto fabrics. I look at yt girl hair and especially those who wash daily. many of their products are cones and i rarely see splits, tangles or damage in their hair so I think the benefits overall outweigh the damage in the long run. Afterall, no sense in growing out all this long beautiful African varieties of hair if it looks long and a hot mess. lol

Yes, this is what I'm trying to figure out! Thanks for your response.

I'm natural and cone free for about 4 years and my hair stays moisturized pretty well. Now just a few days ago I call myself doing my first rollerset wrap on natural hair and I used cone products (serum and some fantasia ic gel) to set it and to help prevent reversion. My hair looks good but feels as dry as the sahara desert. I think I may have used too much gel/serum or maybe my hair just hates cones. Also I love DDTA which is cone based and detangles very very well but I notice that my hair doesn't stay properly moisturized when I use it. So with cones, moisturizer does nothing but sits on top of my hair and takes a nap.

Cone-free for 4 years and natural, that's inspiring. Did you go through a transition or have you always been natural? If you transitioned, did you have any issues with matting/detangling while not using cones? I'm not really stressing the serums. I have some Sabino MB which is great for when/if you want to straighten, but that's so few and far between for me. I've broken myself out of that mentality. I'm curious more about just the usage of products with cones in them, i.e. deep conditioners, leave-ins, shampoos.

Thanks for your response!

 

[tiffers]

My hair needs cones. How can my hair thrive if it's rough and hard to detangle? If I'm combing out clobs of hair because it's unmanagable and dry, how can I see progress?

If my hair doesn't get its cones, it's dry, crispy and un-combable. Not good

I've never had a problem with cones or moisture. The only time I have moisture and softness defenciancy is when I DON'T use cones

All I do is clarify monthly. No problems at all

 

[HeChangedMyName]

My hair needs cones. How can my hair thrive if it's rough and hard to detangle? If I'm combing out clobs of hair because it's unmanagable and dry, how can I see progress?

If my hair doesn't get its cones, it's dry, crispy and un-combable. Not good

I've never had a problem with cones or moisture. The only time I have moisture and softness defenciancy is when I DON'T use cones

All I do is clarify monthly. No problems at all

That's what I'm talking about. It may work better for relaxed hair. Basically a relaxer breaks down our hair structure, the cones seal up the cracks and like you said, keep things easier to manage and smooth.

 

[Morenita]

My hair needs cones. How can my hair thrive if it's rough and hard to detangle? If I'm combing out clobs of hair because it's unmanagable and dry, how can I see progress?

If my hair doesn't get its cones, it's dry, crispy and un-combable. Not good

I've never had a problem with cones or moisture. The only time I have moisture and softness defenciancy is when I DON'T use cones

All I do is clarify monthly. No problems at all

I think this was my main issue. If using cones, how often does one need to clarify? Once a month sounds great to me. I think that I clarify too much still. I will probably just try to maintain a low-cone regimen and use them only in my conditioners, staying away from the serums unless I'm straightening. Ty Tiffers, helpful as always!

 

[Morenita]

That's what I'm talking about. It may work better for relaxed hair. Basically a relaxer breaks down our hair structure, the cones seal up the cracks and like you said, keep things easier to manage and smooth.

Yes, I know my relaxed hair thrived on cones. I guess I'm just worried that everything that I used to know about my hair (which wasn't that much ) will change when I'm more natural than relaxed.

 

[Noir]

I am more or less natural and use cones sparingly.

I ONLY use cones in DC but avoid them in poo's and in rinse out conditioners if i am wearing my hair in its natural state.

If I am wearing my hair straight (flat ironed) I will use cones in conditioners and styling products also (serum, leave-in etc)

Cones won't block out moisture as long as you don't have build up. Certain cones such as Amodimethicone, which is found in the majority of DC's and conditioners does NOT cause build up.

I clarify/chelate once or twice a month with a NON sls (sulfate) clarify/chelating poo. So I don't suffer from dryness from harsh detergents.

 

[TrulyBlessed]

Yes, this is what I'm trying to figure out! Thanks for your response.



Cone-free for 4 years and natural, that's inspiring. Did you go through a transition or have you always been natural? If you transitioned, did you have any issues with matting/detangling while not using cones? I'm not really stressing the serums. I have some Sabino MB which is great for when/if you want to straighten, but that's so few and far between for me. I've broken myself out of that mentality. I'm curious more about just the usage of products with cones in them, i.e. deep conditioners, leave-ins, shampoos.

Thanks for your response!

Well, I guess I can't say I'm completely cone free during those years per se since I experimented time to time but the products I tried never became a staple in my routine. I went through a 2 year transition before I finally did the big chop and it wasn't easy. Very early in the transition the only cone product I used was John Frieda's relax serum for the relaxed ends only which helped make detangling both textures easier. I used Giovanni Direct as a Leave in and eventually moved on to Elucence. Eventually I stopped using serum on the relaxed ends since I trimmed them shorter and shorter and could rely on my leave in to detangle well. I wore buns for about a year and a half and then moved on to twists. I can say that Elucence poo and con made life easier for my hair during my transition and thankfully they still work til this day as a natural. The only time I had severe matting and tangling is if I didnt keep my hair moisturized enough and through trial and error silicone products always seemed to block moisture. The moisturizers that seemed to work were Kemi Conditioning spray (highly recommend), BB Castor Oil lotion, and pure Castor Oil for sure. Also technique is key when detangling such as prepoo treatments, washing in sections and using a good tool (K cutter comb or denman brush) to detangle.

ETA Thanks for mentioning Sabino, I've been eyeballing this for a while now and may give it a try.

 

[Violets-are-blue]

I'm on the fence on cones too..I used Silicon Mix straight as a rinse-out conditioner. The detangling session was not as painful...twas nice. But my hair had this weird feeling a week in. It felt soft during most of the week and really shiny, but later it felt kinda..idk...off. And maybe a bit dry near my conditioning session. I also used silicon mix mixed with HSR. Good detangling but Idk, near the latter part of the week my hair felt off. So now I'm trying to find a detangling conditioner without cones (or at least the light ones) I'm experimenting with Giovanni smooth as silk deeper moisture atm. I only used it like once or twice to deep condition and it was pretty good. But I'm heavy handed and it's a small bottle. Soo I'm gonna see how it does mixed with my aubrey conditioners.

Anyways, my answer to you is, do what works for you. Every head of hair is different, some love cones, some don't, some love certain cones. So yea.

 

[Morenita]

I am more or less natural and use cones sparingly.

I ONLY use cones in DC but avoid them in poo's and in rinse out conditioners if i am wearing my hair in its natural state.

If I am wearing my hair straight (flat ironed) I will use cones in conditioners and styling products also (serum, leave-in etc)

Cones won't block out moisture as long as you don't have build up. Certain cones such as Amodimethicone, which is found in the majority of DC's and conditioners does NOT cause build up.

I clarify/chelate once or twice a month with a NON sls (sulfate) clarify/chelating poo. So I don't suffer from dryness from harsh detergents.

Is that an unassisted bun in your avy? :wow: Beautiful! Ty for the wonderful info as well! That's just what I wanted to hear I love cones, but I was just getting concerned about my continued use of them.

Well, I guess I can't say I'm completely cone free during those years per se since I experimented time to time but the products I tried never became a staple in my routine. I went through a 2 year transition before I finally did the big chop and it wasn't easy. Very early in the transition the only cone product I used was John Frieda's relax serum for the relaxed ends only which helped make detangling both textures easier. I used Giovanni Direct as a Leave in and eventually moved on to Elucence. Eventually I stopped using serum on the relaxed ends since I trimmed them shorter and shorter and could rely on my leave in to detangle well. I wore buns for about a year and a half and then moved on to twists. I can say that Elucence poo and con made life easier for my hair during my transition and thankfully they still work til this day as a natural. The only time I had severe matting and tangling is if I didnt keep my hair moisturized enough and through trial and error silicone products always seemed to block moisture. The moisturizers that seemed to work were Kemi Conditioning spray (highly recommend), BB Castor Oil lotion, and pure Castor Oil for sure.

That's some really great transitioning advice. Thanks for the info

 

[HeChangedMyName]

Yes, I know my relaxed hair thrived on cones. I guess I'm just worried that everything that I used to know about my hair (which wasn't that much ) will change when I'm more natural than relaxed.

oh, so you're transitioning? You may have to adopt to seperate regimens once you get a lot of natural hair at the base.

 

[Noir]

Is that an unassisted bun in your avy? :wow: Beautiful! Ty for the wonderful info as well! That's just what I wanted to hear I love cones, but I was just getting concerned about my continued use of them.

Thanks Morenita! Yea that is my own hair. I used a donut ring.

Yea and don't worry about using cones just limit them to one or 2 products but make sure you clarify at least one a month.

You can always use a non sulfate clarifying poo like I do ( i use a chelating one) if you are worried about dryness.

 

[Morenita]

oh, so you're transitioning? You may have to adopt to seperate regimens once you get a lot of natural hair at the base.

Yep I think I'm pretty much at that point now lol. I am 7 months in, with about 6 inches of natural hair. For now, I just do moisturizing deep conditions twice a week, and I use a protein based leave-in on the relaxed hair, and moisturizing leave-in on the natural. I don't think my natural hair needs or likes protein.

 

[JustKiya]

I don't use cones at all, haven't for about 2 years, and I'm natural.

My main issue with cones is that your hair, in it's natural, healthy state, should have cuticles that are already laid down and smooth, and that if my hair is snagging against itself, there is something missing in my regimen/wrong with my hair, and I need to address that, rather than covering it up/forcing it to be smooth with cones. To me, cones merely conceal the starting signs of damage - rough, raised hair cuticles. And, it's why most people when they stop using cones, think that their hair is reacting to the lack of cones - when really the cones were just concealing the true state of their hair.

Of course, the fact that I'm natural might make that easier, since I'm not using any chemicals that will damage and lift my cuticles.

Hair has a preferred pH of 4.5 - 5.5 in it's natural, healthy state - slightly acidic. In this state, the cuticles are tightly closed against the cortex, and your hair is smooth - assuming that you aren't using products/techniques that actually destroy/remove cuticles so that you have gaps along the hair shaft.
Almost all chemical processes are alkaline, which means that you have to work to get your hair to be back in it's happy acidic state.

Some hair products themselves are also alkaline, which of course, doesn't help your hair feel better. I suspect most of those alkaline products are also just loaded with cones, to cover up the fact that they are actually lifting your cuticle, and making your hair more susceptible to damage, but I've got no proof of that. It's one of the main reasons I give the side-eye to products that leave you with lovely/smooth/silky hair, and the 3rd, 4th, and 5th ingredients are cones. All it's doing is saran-wrapping your hair, so of course it's gonna feel lovely.

So. Since I don't use cones, what I do instead, to maintain my hairs 'natural' slip, is I use a lot of acidic products. I use citric acid on a regular basis - I make a rinse of that that I pour over my head as the last step in my weekly DC, and I don't rinse it out - I just let that dry on my hair, since water has a ph of 7, which is more alkaline than hair really wants to be.
Most of my DC's, themselves, I'll add a touch of citric acid to. I have citric acid in my homemade leave-in mix, too. My favorite homemade DC, the caramel treatment (which leaves my hair crazy shiny and sleek and smooth) has a crapload of ACV in it.


I believe that a couple of the porosity products (French Perm Stablizer, Roux Porosity Control) are also acidic, and that several of the high-end lines actually list their pH on the bottle, so you know just how alkaline/acidic the product is.

As tangly as my hair is, I can honestly say that when it comes to detangling, 'slip' is just - not something I worry about. I just need moisture, when it comes right down to it, and that, in the end, is the main reason I avoid cones - they block moisture getting to your hair, and you have to make your hair even drier by using sulfates to get them off -

Those are just my thoughts on the subject, though......

 

[anon123]

I chose "found an alternative to cones" from your list, but I think the options you have listed in the poll make assumptions that I don't find applicable to my hair and that is that cones are the best detanglers. After trying many products, the best detangling conditioner is V05 vanilla mint tea, which is the lightest of the V05 conditioners I have tried (unlike the hair milks) and which does not have cones. I don't find cones to help me detangle because more than giving me slip, they make my hair sticky. Unless my hair is sopping wet, and I mean spraying it every 20 seconds kind of wet (and I can't detangle anything that quickly, cones or no cones), coney products start to become sticky almost immediately and this makes handling my hair more difficult over all. So my HE LTR and Break's Over are sitting up in my cabinet neglected while I purchase V05 over and over again.

 

[ResultsMayVary]

Those who don't use cones then what products are you using?! I use cones because they are the easy solution but I clarify once a week

 

[FindingMe]

I think this was my main issue. If using cones, how often does one need to clarify? Once a month sounds great to me. I think that I clarify too much still. I will probably just try to maintain a low-cone regimen and use them only in my conditioners, staying away from the serums unless I'm straightening. Ty Tiffers, helpful as always!

I use cones. I clarify and chelate monthly with ORS Aloe and ORS Uplifting Shampoos...I use coconut oil on wet hair as a moisturizer and shea butter on my ends before air-drying....I don't have any issues now with moisture retention or shine...

ETA: I am right there with you on the transition (almost 7 months)...It just makes it easier to comb through my hair so I can avoid losing hair from breaks at the fragile line of demarcation...

 

[gymfreak336]

I cone. I also relax. I know some people don't believe in cones at all, but with all the DCing, Chelating, ACVing and washing we do around here I don't honestly believe that they can even get the opportunity to cause much damage. just my opinion though. Cones help to smooth the hair cuticle out so that it is less prone to damaging itself by getting tangles and hooked onto fabrics. I look at yt girl hair and especially those who wash daily. many of their products are cones and i rarely see splits, tangles or damage in their hair so I think the benefits overall outweigh the damage in the long run. Afterall, no sense in growing out all this long beautiful African varieties of hair if it looks long and a hot mess. lol

Agreed. Now if your hair proves not to like certain products with them then so be it.

Also, many people are under the impression that cones are like superglue but they are not. Cones will come off on their own given enough time so you don't have to use super sulfate shampoo to get them off.

 

[MonPetite]

I've used cones bone laxed, texlaxed and natural with no ill effects.

You can use AVC or baking soda to remove even the toughest cone: cyclopentasilozane/xane. Not harsh shampoos.


AND ANY shampoo that has coco betaine or coco + some other suffix and betain in the name will remove all cones. Which many gentle/natural poos have without needing SLS or ALS.

I've never heard of this "cycle" in cone use. The only thing that ever damaged my hair was lack of knowledge!

 

[lwilliams1922]

I use cones. I clarify and chelate monthly with ORS Aloe and ORS Uplifting Shampoos...I use coconut oil on wet hair as a moisturizer and shea butter on my ends before air-drying....I don't have any issues now with moisture retention or shine...

ETA: I am right there with you on the transition (almost 7 months)...It just makes it easier to comb through my hair so I can avoid losing hair from breaks at the fragile line of demarcation...

do you have any problems detangling??

 

[lila_baby]

I used to see all these posts about cone this and cone that and cones are bad blah blah blah & I would think what's all the fuss. I used cones in every shape and form & it didn't affect my hair- I just assumed that since I've always had dry hair that must be genetics and there wasn't no changing that.

when I gave them up = hair that holds moisture.

& yes now I'm looking for a solution to detangling cuz that's the only real issue for me now- A BIG ISSUE.

 

[nurseN98]

The thing i've recently discovered is that not all cones are the same and some work great and some don't. Products i've used in the past like pantene and HE felt great but after a couple of days, my hair was ultra dry which=big, tangly mess that take 45min to detangle. But i took a tip from the Sabino website on how to apply their wonderful conefilled serum to curly hair and my hair has been a dream ever since.

I shampoo once a week with a mild shampoo (elucence), then I do a steam d/c with my conditioner (elucence or one of the aubreys), leave some in then put the sabino on last. Now the conditioners and shampoo are cone free since i'm sealing everything in with cones..... i figured it would be redundant to use such products. i've been doing this for 3 weeks and my hair is in great shape. I spritz daily and add a teeny bit of conditioner and my hair stays nice all day. I don't know the long term effects but so far, i love it.

 

[Lenee925]

CONE!.......................

 

[poookie]

i love cones!! they're fabulous! and i wash my hair entirely too often (daily) for them to possibly dry out my situation. if you wash often, don't be afraid of cones. however, if you're a "wash once a week, and moisturize daily" kind of gal, you might want to consider teh no-cone lifestyle.

 

[HoneyDew]

I don't use cones for detangling.

I do use cones as a heat protectant though.

I don't mind a little 'cone in my rinse out conditioners, but not when they are listed in the first 5 or 6 ingredients. The reason is because they coat my hair and my liquid leave-in does not soak in well.

My deep conditioners NEVER have cones. Just a preference.

But I do use a heat protectant with cones.

That is all I need.

I just don’t like my hair feeling coated as it does after using cones in conditioners. I never need them for detangling though.

 

[Muse]

I've used cones bone laxed, texlaxed and natural with no ill effects.

You can use AVC or baking soda to remove even the toughest cone: cyclopentasilozane/xane. Not harsh shampoos.


AND ANY shampoo that has coco betaine or coco + some other suffix and betain in the name will remove all cones. Which many gentle/natural poos have without needing SLS or ALS.

I've never heard of this "cycle" in cone use. The only thing that ever damaged my hair was lack of knowledge!

Yup this is true. People think they have to reach for the big guns when they use cones but they are only doing themselves a disservice. Any mild sulfate will do. No need to clarify unless you let it build up over a period of time but if you stay on top of it and poo regularly there should never be a need to clarify IMHO.

The thing i've recently discovered is that not all cones are the same and some work great and some don't. Products i've used in the past like pantene and HE felt great but after a couple of days, my hair was ultra dry which=big, tangly mess that take 45min to detangle. But i took a tip from the Sabino website on how to apply their wonderful conefilled serum to curly hair and my hair has been a dream ever since.

I shampoo once a week with a mild shampoo (elucence), then I do a steam d/c with my conditioner (elucence or one of the aubreys), leave some in then put the sabino on last. Now the conditioners and shampoo are cone free since i'm sealing everything in with cones..... i figured it would be redundant to use such products. i've been doing this for 3 weeks and my hair is in great shape. I spritz daily and add a teeny bit of conditioner and my hair stays nice all day. I don't know the long term effects but so far, i love it.

This is true. Not all cones are created equal. If you pick an inferior product it will evaporate quickly from the hair so it's no longer sealing in the moisture and protecting the hair then you experience dryness. Like tiffers said, the only time I experience dryness is when I DONT use cones. I use Sabino and I can say it stays on my hair until I shampoo which means moisture is sealed in the whole time and my hair is protected.

Personally I don't mind having a layer of protection around my strands. Even if my hair was 100% healthy I would still use cones as a preventative measure, let the cones take the wear and tear instead of my hair!

 

[thinkpinkprincess]

I am more or less natural and use cones sparingly.

I ONLY use cones in DC but avoid them in poo's and in rinse out conditioners if i am wearing my hair in its natural state.

If I am wearing my hair straight (flat ironed) I will use cones in conditioners and styling products also (serum, leave-in etc)

Cones won't block out moisture as long as you don't have build up. Certain cones such as Amodimethicone, which is found in the majority of DC's and conditioners does NOT cause build up.

I clarify/chelate once or twice a month with a NON sls (sulfate) clarify/chelating poo. So I don't suffer from dryness from harsh detergents.

thanks for this info! what shampoo do you use?

 

[Irresistible]

Ive never even worried about a single cone