Thinking about going natural... (long)

[glamazon386]

Okay so, I've been thinking about going natural for quite a while now. I've been seeing a lot of healthy natural heads around lately. I'm not sure what I want to do. I've continued to have problems with relaxers eating up my hair. I don't know if it's stylist error or what. Once it starts getting a good length it starts breaking off and I end up cutting and starting over. I have a patch in the back on the left side that won't grow in at all. It's been broken off for almost two years now. It'll start coming back in, and then start breaking again.

My hair dresser has continued to treat it and the spot got smaller. But now it seems like it's spreading in a different direction. She said it had gotten bigger since the last time I was there. She said I should cut my hair. Try to cut the damage out. But that doesn't make sense to me seeing it as how, if i cut my hair you'll see the bald spot. And the rest of my hair isn't damaged why so I need to cut it? In order to even it all I'd pretty much have to chop all my hair off. That was why she was cutting it gradually when it first started breaking. And it doesn't really matter if I don't cut because I don't really wear my hair out that often anyway.

I was thinking about just getting a short cut, but I really don't want the back tapered. Which is what I'll have to do. The way my hair is now, when it's down it covers the bald patch. And even if I did get a short cut, I'd rather keep it all one length. I've been stretching my relaxers to 12-14 weeks for the past year and wearing weaves which have really helped me gain/retain some length. I usually wear the weave for 6-8 weeks. Then my hair for 6-8 weeks. And then relax at about 12-14. Get the weave put back in 2 weeks later and then start the process again. At this point I'm really frustrated because it's growing fine everywhere but that one spot. I've been to two different hair dressers over the past two years (my regular one went on maternity leave for a while so I went to my mom's hd for a spell) and neither one of them can figure out why that one spot is like that nor how to stop it from breaking.

I'm thinking about going natural because I feel like the relaxer is the culprit. I'm coming up on time for me to get a relaxer, and I'm tempted just because I feel like I need to go. I could use a deep condition and probably a trim. And I know as soon as I walk in there with 3 months of new growth she's going to push the relaxer. I planned on continuing to weave for all of 2006 and hope to reach my goal of shoulder length by 2006. If not, I think I'm just gonna cut the relaxed hair off and go natural. I mentioned it to my mother and she wasn't very supportive. I just think it'd be easier to deal with. My new growth is pretty manageable. It doesn't really bother me to stretch even when my own hair is out. But she keeps pushing the relaxer on me too. She never misses one but that's her perogative. That and she and I have different hair types. The things she does to her hair don't work for mines.

Any advice ladies? Should I hang in there until June? Or just go with my instinct and cut it? What should I do about the bald spot? I mean what really am I accomplishing by cutting though? I still have that damn bald spot to worry about. Sorry this is so long. TIA...

 

[ayoung]

Well, you could always keep the weave until June and not get a relaxer and then see if you want to go natural when you see how your hair is then.

That's what I am doing--putting my hair 'away' until June! By then you will have more length and time to baby that bald spot to get the hair growing. You may want to Big Chop right then, transition longer, or get another relaxer. For the spot you could use Surge or MTG to stimulate growth.

Or you could say 'Whatever' and Big Chop now and rock you hair natural. There are lots of posts and ladies on here who could help you w/ caring for your natural hair. Even a website for natural hair www.nappturality.com

I went back and forth myself for various reasons--but in the end do what feels best.

HHG!

 

[HairPhoenix]

When you say you have a bald spot, do you mean that your hair is really broken off and thin in that area or is it bald to the scalp? If it is bald to the scalp you may need to see a Dermatologist. I have had problems with stress-related alopecia that left me with bald spots. I went to see my dermatologist and got treatment and my hair grew back. If you think you have a bit much stress in your life, you may want to think about this. And, too, you may not think your life is that stressful, but even worrying about your hair and the bald spot can cause you enough stress to keep the hair from growing out.

I had a really good dermatologist and she taught me a lot. One thing that she told me was that a lot of women experience hair loss to the point of partial balding and they are too ashamed to see a doctor about it. There is help for that kind of hair loss and not all remedies are expensive. If you think this may be a factor let me know and I can tell you more about it. If not, then I won't bore you with the details.

Otherwise, going natural or doing super-stretches may be a way to go as far as strengthening your hair.

 

[pyxis777]

Are you sure it's the relaxer that's messing you up and not the weave? I'm saying this because if your other hair is thriving, then your relaxer application is probably decent and something else may be the cause of breakage.

My sister wears a weave (her hair is all natural) and her hair is really growing, except for in a few places. I think that certain areas are stressed by the braids and the weight of the sew ins and break off. It might also be the way she sleeps? I used to wear individual mini braids and I have a few broken spots at the top from the braids. My hair is still recovering.

Would you be willing to try not wearing a weave for 12-14 weeks? Keep track of your progress and then you'll truely know if it's the weave or the relaxer that is doing harm to your hair.

 

[Isis]

All of the suggestions are good here. I agree with Pyxis777 about the weave possibly causing stress by the weight and braids - I've seen that happen to a friend of mine. Her suggestion to not wear the weave for several weeks is a very good test.

Applying castor oil to the bald spot may work very well to stimulate growth there. Castor oil has been proven to grow in eyelashes and eyebrows. A combo of essential oils such as jojoba, rosemary and lavender to your spot also stimulates growth.

BTW, if that's you, you look very pretty in your signature.

 

[glamazon386]

Okay, let me try to make this response coherent. I have a lot that I wanna say...

The spot is not all the way bald but the spot never gets longer than about an inch in length. When I wash my hair that one spot draws up a lot more than the rest of my hair. The spot actually feels like it's natural. As far as the weave irritating it, I'm not totally sure. I used to get that part braided into the weave but then after a while it would come down after washing because that part was so short. If I'm weaving should I leave that part out? I'm not sure. I know some people have had problems with breakage with the parts of their hair left out the weave and get full head weaves to remedy that problem. But wouldn't trying to braid that little patch in the weave stress it out more?

Honestly, I don't think the weave is the issue, but I'm no expert. It could be irritating it, I don't know. However, I do know that I've never had problems with the weaves before. I used them to grow my hair out in high school and had good results. My hairdresser suggested that I go back to it, and I didn't really want to. I knew I wasn't getting braids again. I was shocked that the braids had broken my hair off so bad. I went from shoulder length hair to a short cut up to my ears by the time she evened all the hair out. I used to wear braids (w/ extensions) a lot when I was younger and I had a head full of hair. My mother used to do them for me sometimes. I remember taking braids out one day and getting them put back in the next. I now know that that was a bad thing lol but I never had any damage back then. Go figure?

I've been away at college for the past few years. Most of the girls here have braids or do their own hair. In high school, my mother and I faithfully went to the hairdresser every week so I wasn't really sure what to do when I got to campus. Freshman year I tried a weave first semester and it really helped. Then I tried braids second semester and had alot of breakage. It seems like since then my hair hasn't really acted right. I got a fresh cut for easter and it seemed like it was at a standstill. After the cut, I continued to go to the salon every two weeks. It was killing me to keep going all the way back home to the hairdresser every 2 weeks, sometimes every week but I wanted to get my hair back on track. So I went back to my biweekly appointments and all of a sudden that winter (in February or so) I realized it had started to break off in the back and all up the left side when it was time for my touch up. The left side is fine now, and the back on the right side grew back in. Now its just a patch in the bottom left corner that looks like it's spreading up the left side again. Maybe I sleep on my left side more or something. Who knows? If I was going to the salon frequently and having it treated why was it breaking off? I was thinking it was the relaxer because my mother's hairdresser said it was the perm my hairdresser was using. She was saying to steer clear of that particular perm. The name escapes me at the moment but she was saying that your hair will look fine the first few times you use it and then after a while your hair will start snapping. She started treating my hair and tried to stop the damage but as you can see, no avail. But anyway, after a year of wearing my own hair with weekly and biweekly salon appointments and virtually no progress, I went back to the weave. Now it's growing good everywhere but that one spot. It seems like the weave is the only way I gain some length. Which really sucks. That's why I've been weaving since Summer of 04.

I'm not sure how many inches I've gained since then. I haven't trimmed very often either, but the weaves and stretching seem to help. Thanks for your input ladies. Maybe I should give the weave a rest and see what happens... Yes, that's me in the siggy pic with an instant weave lol. Thanks for the compliment.

 

[determine3]

I think you should try some MTG on that area only. It really works! You say that part of your hair is a totally different texture from the rest..could it be a perm scab? I read somewhere that sometimes after using relaxers for so many years, you can develop perm scabs. I realize (and i'm natural now) that in the centre of my hair, there is a weird texture. Very course and wiry compared to the rest of my hair. Nothing tames that area and I believe it's a perm scab (I might be using the wrong term).

BTW..you have beautiful skin...do you use anything special or is it genetics?

 

[beyondcute]

Going Natural? (If not skip to the next section)

Well first you need to understand your hair. If you choose to go natural there will be alot of changes you will haev to make. You will have to learn new ways of dealing with your hair. Natural hair acts differently than relaxed hair... BUT you can still wear just about anything. Blow outs, weaves, twist outs, etc can all be doen on natural hair and no one would be the wiser unless you told them. If you have any transitioing questions Im here to answer them (Im about 8 months into transition) Now since youve been having alot of trouble with that spot Id think that your line of demarcation would be very fragile (the line between the new growth and the relaxed hair) You may lose hair or it may break off but thats pretty normal. More on that if you choose to go that way.

Relaxing to the max?

I think a few things may help, if not then the relaxer may be it.
1. Stop relaxing that spot.
2. Try soem MTG on that spot.
3. Give the weaves a rest (your hair may not like weaves).
4. Try a new gentler relaxer.

If the above fails then you may really want to consider going natural.

 

[glamazon386]

I think you should try some MTG on that area only. It really works! You say that part of your hair is a totally different texture from the rest..could it be a perm scab? I read somewhere that sometimes after using relaxers for so many years, you can develop perm scabs. I realize (and i'm natural now) that in the centre of my hair, there is a weird texture. Very course and wiry compared to the rest of my hair. Nothing tames that area and I believe it's a perm scab (I might be using the wrong term).

BTW..you have beautiful skin...do you use anything special or is it genetics?

Thanks! I really hate to admit this but I don't use anything on my skin other than plain soap and water in the shower. I know that's bad and I should be using a cleanser or something but I'm just plain lazy. My mother yells at me about it all the time. And last time I listened to her about my skin I ended up having my skin scorched by a neutrogena cleanser. And it left a big ugly mark for a while. If I wear makeup that day I'll use a Dove cleanser. But other than that, I don't do anything but put some baby lotion on it and go.

 

[Country gal]

I have nothing to add to the convo. Just wanted to say beautiful picture.

 

[KiSseS03]

Hey bmoregirl!

I agree with what some of the other ladies said. It can't hurt to give your hair a rest for a while, and stretch out your relaxer until june. By then you'll have a good amount of new growth, and then you can decide if you really want to go natural. I also agree about the pic, you look really nice!

 

[Faith]

I sort of in the same boat.

My right temple keeps breaking with a relaxer...it was pretty bald for months now and I haven't relaxed in 4 months so it's back and I have about 1.5-2". I know as soon as a relaxer hits it, it will break again. There's something about that spot. Honestly, like you...I have no idea what causes the breakage since I baby my hairline. I also think it's the relaxer. Since ALL of my hair does VERY well natural BUT parts of my hair DO NOT do well relaxed. I figure I'll go back to natural. Like you my mom is not too thrilled but "oh well" it's my hair. Her issue is not that I'm natural but that it's left natural...meaning I should hot comb it or flatiron it then instead of leaving it afro. I've decided to ignore her and just do my thing. Her hair type is not like mine. She's a 4a and her coils can be brought out. All I get is Zs. Some Ss but all in the back.

Blah, blah..lol. All that to say I hear ya. LOL!

My advice is take it one day at a time. If you can go till June without doing anything to it then go till June then in June come back and let us know what is happeniing and we'll take it from there