When I would hear people say that wearing their hair straight DRASTICALLY affected people's responses towards them, I figured they may have been embellishing a little. Now, I'm natural and given what I know about European standard of beauty's affect on people, I no longer underestimate this fact.
This point was really driven home when I flat-ironed my hair this weekend. Maybe I hadn't paid attention before, but people especially "others", were so polite and cordial to me.Smiling at me and making small talk...this rarely ever happens when I wear my hair natural. I didn't dress differently than when I wear my hair in it's natural state and I still wore my normal make-up, earrings etc. I received compliments on how pretty I was or my hair, but I looked the same as I did when I wear my natural hair. Nothing changed except my hair
.
Is straight hair
really that serious!?
I've observed that, while it's not REALLY that serious, it's pretty serious nonetheless ... Meaning, in a vacuum/void of cultural-history etc, it wouldn't matter either way. But in THIS (U.S.) reality, yeah it's a factor. I noticed this when I first BCd my WL dreadlocks. I am currently in graduate school in a predominantly white institution. It was FASCINATING how many of my white classmates, most of whom I was actually FRIENDLY with, didn't even want to ACKNOWLEDGE my hair! I mean, HELLO!?, from WL to TWA with no warning!? We're "friends"?, you're supposed to be "intelligent"?, and you ... don't NOTICE it? ... Interesting ...
It was even more fascinating how NON-American 'whites' responded. One of the only European descended people who seemed comfortable acknowledging/commenting on my hair was, noteably, a literal EUROPEAN woman (born and bread, accent and all) from Romania! She had NO problem with it. She actually said she liked it! Funny thing is, she said it in front of some of the American whites who were trying to act like they didn't notice it! LOL! Then, all of a sudden they had to grudgingly mumble 'oh yeah ... you did cut it ... mumble mumble". LOL! A VERY telling experience! ...
Am I reading too much into this? Or does it seem that American whites are SO racially(and/or genderly?)-sensitized when it comes to hair that even the perfectly "intelligent" and/or "friendly" ones among them can't even bring themselves to ACKNOWLEDGE when a natural haired person has DRASTICALLY altered it! I mean, yeah, you could argue that, due to the drastic-ness of the change, and/or the way that they're socially conditioned racial/gender-wise, they probably didn't LIKE it. But damn, if a white woman in my grad program that I'm cool with had say, conventional APL, blond-ish hair one day, then suddenly showed up the next day with a rainbow colored MO-HAWK that I DETESTED, I'd still ACKNOWLEDGE that she'd DONE something! If only to NOT look like an idiot with no social skills! I know these folks KNOW how to act in other contexts socially-speaking because. to make matters worse, a few days later, a white girl cut her hair a LITTLE bit, and the same folks "noticed" right away and commented on it! ... So, yeah, this was eye-opening as to where "we" are on these matters.
I can't help wondering what they would've said if I'd shown up in a Hally Berry type of short cut instead of a TWA ... But, this experience was actually a factor in my decision to NOT wear a straight bob-length wig that I'd bought subsequent to this experience, to school and/or to EVER straighten my hair in front of those folks! I mean can you IMAGINE? NO comment on my natural styles, but a WONDERFUL reception on my bobbed, straight WIG!?! I would lose ALL respect for them!
Basically, it appears that we've got a LOT of work on our hands ya'll! Chris Rock, Oprah, Solange, Barack, those folks are opening DOORS for real, authentic interracial conversations/interactions to occur. But it's often going to have to be US in the TRENCHES/GRASSROOTS, rolling up our sleeves to 'work with' these 'fools' if we want real progress to actually take place ... Sigh ... the (degrading/uncomfortable) things we do to help heal our country of the diseases called racism and sexism! ... But we have to remember that this is for our daughters (AND sons) ... Hopefully one day our descedants won't have to know this reality ... After all, I'm SURE that the slaves had that hope. And, for all intents and purposes, it came true! So if this is our leg of the track, I've realized that I have to try harder not to drop the batton ... IOW, I probably could've pushed those white folk towards basic decent human behavior, but I was just sooo surprised/shocked/uncomfortable at the time! I couldn't do it!
Sorry ya'll! I'll be ready next time!